Après Ski Recap S1:E7 Power Moves

And now? Now Elise is done?

Really, such a shame. She is a great chef and knows how to bring it, reality-wise, but she has NOT A GOOD FIT for Après Ski stamped across her forehead. Let’s see who takes over!

We’re back at Elise and Tamara talking;  Elise crying and Tamara firing her. And that’s it. Elise is done. Wow. It’s hilarious to me that Tamara brings up how hard it is for HER a couple of times, yeah I bet that’s WAY rougher than having to go back to Philly all fired and shite.

Now. Elise says she feels bullied and she is entitled to her feelings but excuse me while I call all kindsa bullshit on that one. She was a bad manager.  Great chef, probably an awesome mom and can work out like a mofo. But not able to lead this team and just cannot get out of her own way. Off she goes in her skintight aqua dress with peplum and 4 inch red heels. In Whistler.

Somewhere Bobby’s SkullBoobies just exploded with joy.

Elise drinks alone while the team holds the Sunday meeting without her; Tamara is so smiley! She explains that Elise is gone and asks JIM to be Operations Manager while Bobby sucks all the lemons in the corner.

Party time! Off to Buffalo Bills which is like a rustic rave? EDM, lights and a log cabin. Pass! They do shots of tequila (Bobby’s panty remover) and that part looks like fun! Bobby still hasn’t unwadded said panties, however, so he calls out a drunk Jim for shouting drink orders at the bar. Jim thanks “his team” for keeping him in check and Bobby hurts himself trying to side-eye and eye roll at the same time.

Seriously, his eyes get stuck blinking like this for like 10 seconds. Oh hey! Kendra missed it all! She was home for her grandmother’s funeral, after being yelled at by Elise for not focusing on wig snatching on her behalf instead of worrying about the death in her family.

Um. WHAT IS THIS?? Who knew Jim had DIS BODY? Hands up, you stinking liars!

Kendra blah blah glad to be back blah Lynsey has a TED Talk??

She likes to inspire people.  And has a non profit. And works with girls because apparently there are some people that don’t know girls can ski. I don’t get why Lynsey is on this show, yo!

Someone finally tells Kendra that Elise been fired, it’s just a measure of how unsettled Bobs is that he didn’t gossip about it immediately. You know he’s been pouting in the mirror for ages about whether he’s pretty enough.

Elise, in full makeup and lingerie, calls her Aunt Mary and tells her she’s on her way back. Sad, honestly.

Client review meeting! First Tamara explains to Kendra that Elise is gone and that Jim has graciously agreed to fill in as Operations Manager (“for a WEEK” finishes Bobby in his head) and Kendra twinkles at Jim. Awwww, I see it, JSierra!

Client time! Scott and Lauren from San Diego are insanely good looking;

he does sports and she designs interiors. I once dated someone from San Diego!  Well, La Jolla, so like San Diego but crazy wealthy. And like dating, but what’s that thing where you just. Nevermind. Anyway! Another couple that wants bear selfies! But it’s a dude asking, so they don’t make fun of it. BOO DOUBLE STANDARDS! They also wanna bungee jump, which perks Bobby right the eff up. He just heard “drinking”.

Next up are Mark, Oliver and one other guy and I don’t even care because they just look like the BIGGEST dbags EVER. I mean

And they further prove some books absolutely can be judged by their covers by asking for anything that screams Preferential Treatment. I mean. Now we get to call them! Tamara suggests that Jim lead the call and I guess she’s either forgotten he went over her head to Joey or she’s forgiven him or MAYBE SHE’S JUST DOING HER JOB, TTM.

Mark doesn’t disappoint and is appropriately douchey, asking for models and a BroDown. My gaydar is not so sure. They want an 11 StokeMeter and me and Kendra are EXHAUSTED with them already. Bobby wonders if that is how straight guys talk and Imma have to throw a giant purple NO at that.

Jim lays out the weekend! Toaster (that’s what he asks people to call him. For REALS) is gonna getta snowmobile tour into the back country and then VIP passes to the Bikini Showcase. That sounds. ..cold. Have I shown you Whistler lately?

Bikinis not recommend

The initial meeting goes very well and Jim separates the work up nicely and the clients will getta meet everyone and I have high hopes! They are down two concierges, though, so I’m managing my expectations.

Jim goes to the Barefoot Bistro to drink wine and ostensibly plan the visit, I bet it’s more along the I GOT PROMOTED!!! line. You know who didn’t get promoted?  Bobby. Did I mention that?  The job he totally didn’t apply for or do anything to indicate he was interested in was given to someone else. Well, he did go and talk to the head of Gibbons Life, oh no, wait, that was Jim. At least he said something when Tamara was asking everyone about who should lead the team, oh my bad, not him again either. He’s like Eyebrows, really, he thinks he deserves the next level up job, he just doesn’t want to do anything to get there.

Oh hey! Who wants to go out and have breakfast with their recently fired boss who is bitter AF? What’s that?  Kendra? Sure! Gives Elise one last chance to kick someone in Whistler while she can.

Elise is already mad and yelling that she appreciates Kendra’s friendship and she’s RIDE OR DIE *le sigh*. She so angry alla time. She can’t even see how uncomfortable Kendra is but eventually stops shouting and they hug. Peace oot.

Elise packing montage; fish out of water blah blah did the damn thing blah. Deuces.

Client arrivals! DbagCubed is first and they insist on doing the Canadian Loggerman Handshake which looks like buttering a log. Frist: no such thing. Sceond: no, Bobby, that is NOT how straight guys talk. Also; don’t talk,  Eyebrows.  Shhhhh.

Kendra and Bobby meet Scott and Lauren, much more high end kind of client, with much less presumed log buttering. Bobby (with his hat on BACKWARDS so never mind about high end)

Seriously.  I give up

is ‘cited aboot the bungee jumping: Kendra is less sure. Like never ever less sure.

Jim and Eyebrows lay oot the plan for AHoleCubed, who at least one is excited about a hands on backstage pass to the XPosed Model Search. Why not call it the Whoreapalooza? That’s how they are selling it.

Kendra tells Scott and Lauren about their upcoming Bear Safari and I think it is just ridic how they make it sound all fancy and not STOOPID. Hey! It’s spring and there are hongray bears around!  Let’s go poke some so we can take pictures! Real adrenaline, they say. Jeebus wept.

Lynsey is back from her TED Talk and apparently she’s a role model. Okay. All right. It is good that she’s promoting athleticism instead of makeup for teenagers. Yay Lyns. So you’re here for WHY again?

Bobby eats raw turkey bacon and excuse me a minute. YUCK.  Oh wait! It gets worse! He says he wants to bungee jump nekkid because of course he does, the little attentionhewer, but Eyebrows asks him if he’s gonna shave his bush first, since he’s been growing it out. FRIENDS DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE STATE OF OTHER FRIENDS PUBIC HAIR. AND THEY DO NOT NEED TO SHARE IT WITH STRANGERS, COWORKERS AND THE REST OF THE WORLD!!! She’s so GROSS.

Bungee time! And the gang is all here, with Kendra and client Lauren trying not to hyperventilate whilst the boys flex. It’s really pretty out there and Lauren jumps right up to do it first! Atta girl Lauren! Props! That’s so cool! Good job lady! HAYULL NO.

Client Scott does great and now it’s Kendra’s turn. She kinda…falls. You couldn’t call that a jump, exactly,  but she did it! Food time! Oh. Drink time. Awesome looking Caesars!  Yes pleez! Bobby is determined to butt heads with Jim whenever possible, however, so he takes offense to the compliment Jim pays him for the drinks. Look Bobs, you’ve been half in the bag every single episode of this show, WITH clients, so shut your rye hole.

Because we haven’t spent QUITE enough time focused on the drama queen that is FunBobby, he decides that nekkid bungee jumping must happen after all. Like a frightened turtle is right. Whatever, ho

Jim and Lynsey are pretending to be into each other, he cooks a little even! Waitaminute! Eyebrows calls shenanigans and says Jim and Lynsey have totally boned! They HEARD. Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Did I mention his body? It’s sick.  They go “skiing”.

Bobby was listening to me! He’s decided to talk to Tamara about why he wasn’t even just handed the job he had expressed no interest in, and Tamara tells him it was all Joey’s decision, given that Jim went to Joey in the first place. Tamara lays down the hammer: you not ready, ClubKid.

Back to AholeCubed, skiing time! Cute guide along for the ride, they hit the hills and I get it, it’s beautiful.  Now, did you want chicken wings or bonless ribs at the pub after?

Oh right, no time for that, it’s Bikini time! Shots first and Lynsey just wants to throw up. Too much exploitation and lazy stripper dancing for one night.

On the Bear Safari, I am deeeeply deeply skeptical right now. A very calm guide shows them the habitat and tells them to just stand their ground when charged by a bear. OH SURE. I’ve camped in BC a lot, it’s really mostly about avoiding bears. I don’t remember ever trying to find one on purpose, but then I’m only half American. They drive around aimlessly a bit more and find one, some fly covered brown bear bastage just trying to get a berry, yo. Leaveimalone!!

Dbag Departure,  blah blah blah went well blah moar Ceasars!! Then Sunday meeting time! Everyone did a great job, especially Jim, who is offered and accepts the permanent Operations Manager role. Bobby pretends to understand but…you know that toxic energy Joey was talking about? Yeahhhh