Hi guys! How was your week? Not as good as Steve Haug's I bet! He's getting mawwied, YES, MAWWIED! We join our hawtAF yacht guest, fiancee and friends mid-charter on Below Deck, let's see what's in the envelope!
The newly affianced are playing around with the new ring during breakfast; I don't know exactly what bougie means but I gather Rachel thinks her ring is
Just joshing, she loves it! I do not love it with those yellow nails.
The stews all tease Ben about his upcoming date, awwww, Kate thinks Ben is all aflutter for reals this time! I don't buy it at all; Emily is just the first stew he's tried to actually date, and that's only because Kate is forcing him. Practically. Maybe this is just his version of The Girl You Take Home To Mum and he'll still have his crew harem for the high seas. I will say that it's nice he isn't doing his usual complaining about having to make breakfast, so will take!
Kelley gets called to Captain Lee's bridge AGAIN, this time for being too nice to his crew during the boat/pool fiasco yesterday. PLUS he didn't actually ask the guests what they wanted to do, (Production sent) Lauren asked instead.
Kate and Sierra go to check guest cabins while Emily and Ben get caught up in the kitchen; okay, maybe I'm wrong. Lookit Ben beam at her! He's almost unrecognisable! Is there someone he's actually attracted to directly behind her?
Time for the water slide! Isn't that the coolest thing ever?? The deck crew does not think it is the coolest thing ever. The guests love it but Steve jumps off the top deck anyway because of course he does.
Sierra realllly doesn't want to go on a date with Kyle and after the whole baby-momma convo last week: (right there with her) she wants to make it a group thing and actually fish. Plus, there's a guy she started seeing right before she left, is that why she missed her flight then? Hmm?
Kate's planning the meal for the evening, will Ben be her Elvis? Come on, Ben, be British Elvis!! He passes. Hard pass. Meanwhile, Captain Lee has remembered that Steve (honestly, this guy. I can't look directly at him! He's adorable) wanted to hit some golf balls; he makes a point of framing it in a way so that Kelley can feel as much like shit as possible for not bringing it up first.
I get it, Skinny Kenny Rogers, you think Kelley should be more proactive and you're not wrong, but treating him like a puppy who peed on the rug ain't gonna get you anything but wet feet. Empower your people! Don't give them an extra five minutes to hang themselves then poke at them while they're swinging.
I totally rolled my eyes when the whole golfing thing came up, but that looks like so much fun! Is that good for the fish, though? I won't ask the google.
Kate's still trying to find her Elvis, Nico's in! He has looks, style, huge ego
And hey, can Kelley be the Chippendale from Vegas? Look Kelley, you know I have mad respect for everything you're packing above and below deck, but you do not want to be shirtless next to Steve Haug. The man is a Greek god with Tom Hiddleston's eyes and a Barry White voice.
Emily's helping Kelley with his "costume" which equals a bowtie and baby oil, he still thinks he has a shot with her. Poor deluded fella.
Dance party time! I'm not entirely sure Nico knows who Elvis is...lots of "baby"s and the like thrown about with an...Italian accent? German? Him and Kelley dancing around looks hella budget but the guests dig it, that's all that matters!
Kyle has a rocky relationship with his family, he left home at 15 (and 8 months?? Oddly...specific) and joined the army after sleeping in Soho Square. I hear the bin sheds are very romantic! I never heard back from any of my English friends, though, sorry I couldn't shed any light on exactly what that means.
He was a street performer, a juggler and lived on the streets for awhile, trying to put together a life with a girl who ended up not being worth the trouble. Kate loves how open he is about who he really is: it's refreshing. Most people try to floof themselves up and he does the opposite. I bet he knew his baby-momma better than he let on and wasn't really trying to knock up some unsuspecting drunk lass. Probably
Kate has made up her mind; Sierra HAS to date Kyle, that's it! Sierra's all: YOU date him if you like him so much and that is a very good point. Kate calls Kyle the "British Ryan Gosling" and I do nooooot see it. Although I don't find Ryan Gosling attractive either, so.
Guest departure time! Bye Steve, I will miss you!! A short speech then a fat envelope! Woo hoo! Let's find out what we got.
Tip meeting time!! Captain Lee yells at non-proactive Kelley a bit in front of everyone then opens the envelope: $15,000 which is $1350 each, sweet!
Kyle asks for permission to take Sierra out while everyone smiles, I mean. Skinny Kenny Rogers is not your DAD, dudes.
Kyle and Sierra are off on their fishing date with nooottttthing to say; they're gonna eat after then meet up with everyone else. It's so awkwaaard. Sierra goes and checks her phone while Kyle finally figures out that nothing is gonna happen here today, folks.
Emily breaks the news of her date with Ben to Nico and Lauren; they're worried about Kelley's reaction.
Kyle comes back to the boat to tell everyone about Sierra texting her manfriend during the whole date, taking selfies in front of him was totally shitty, Sierra. I mean. He took that totally personally and Kelley's decided to call Sierra out for it. BECAUSE IT'S HIS BUSINESS.
Emily's ready! Kate gathers Ben from his shared room with Kelley, no way that's awkward either! I'm sure he won't take that out on Sierra.
Remember when crew members DIDN'T date each other because they understood how difficult it is to maintain professionalism when you're using to seeing someone from behind? Yeah
Kelley's flipping out about the Ben/Emily date; even I can't believe Kyle's still thinking of taking Sierra out for dinner. And why would Sierra want to go, since he ran back to the boat to tattle to all his buddies about how she was texting another dude during their date? I mean. As for Kelley, complaining about Ben's Hump and Dump past is a bit rich considering you were just hoping to do the same with Emily as you did with Jennice. Just for fun, right, Kelley? Psssht
I still get NO chemistry between Ben and Emily; what was he beaming at in the kitchen?
Kelley is taking Sierra's texting SO PERSONALLY, I can't see why he thinks it's his place to call her out, especially since he doesn't actually know who she was texting.
Sierra takes Kelley aside to ask him what's up, it goes sharply downhill. Finally Kate sums it up
Even Kyle says something
As Ben and Emily trash-talk Kelley. Kelley's caring less and less, drink after drink and this will not end well. Ben and Emily walk right by while the deck crew is drinking outside, then Kelley walks out as they come in. Kyle does a little speech about his date and how disappointed he was when he saw Sierra texting someone else while she's with HIM and nobody knows what to say.
This whole show needs to be called SO AWKWARD.
Kyle's all sweet in public, but that is NOT how he really feels. Once bitten, twice shy
Captain Lee is pissed; the drunk deck crew has left pizza all over the boat, including on the way up to his quarters. Nico finds a smoking toaster in the kitchen and walks it outside, in front of the captain and Kate. Kate JUST got Skinny Kenny Rogers calmed down about the pizza!!
A drunken Lauren ignites all of Kate's anger, who does this crew think they are?? Drunk Kelley has to answer to the captain, which means he nods and tries not to look intoxicated while inwardly seething.
Ben asks Emily for a kiss; she declines nicely and he interviews that he feels they've really built some nice chemistry. Uh huh. Sure.
Kate and Kelley argue a bit about the safety issue in the crew mess while Kelley minimizes what his crew and he were up to. Time for sleep and we're oot! I dunno, man. Kelley doesn't seem to be picking things up quickly enough and god knows he hasn't got the temperament for arguing with Kate. Or you know, WINNING an argument with Kate. Until next time, keep your chippendales oiled and your texts local!