Big Brother S18:E34 Live Eviction Recap

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Here we are, down to the last six house guests on Big Brother and it's another live eviction. Will Nicole stick to her newly formed alliance with Paul and Victor, or will she be swayed by James and Natalie, whom she originally aligned with? Let's find out!

Our Chenbot comes out looking freshly rebooted, oiled up and ready to go. But wait! There's a glitch in her program and she stumbles over a word. Nice recovery, though. Phew. That was close. She tells us that Nicole has to choose between a power couple (Paul and Vic) or her arch enemy (Michelle). Those are some fightin' words from a bot. Sheese. Give that bot an sd card, or a flash drive or something. Anything!

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It's back to day 76 and it's right after the Veto meeting. Meech and Paul see the writing on the wall. Paul notes that if Nic wanted him or Vic gone, she would have taken Meech off and put up Vic; easily. Corey pontificates re: that darned bribe he won. He's got to use it to ensure the votes that he and Nic want. What to do, what to do?

Nic and Victor bond over the fact that she's trustworthy because she didn't put him up. He's finally safe and has someone that didn't lie to him besides Paul. Paul tells Meech that they're trying to take out the two crazies in the house and she laughs and asks him if he's heard anything yet? Ummm, errrrr, noooooo. Nat walks in and asks what's up. Meech tells her she hates not knowing what's going on and Nat and Paul agree.

Meech diaries that Nic and Corey are cowards; hunkering down up in the HOH room, not talking to any of them, just being all cuddly and non-confrontational. Code: "Most BORING-EST EVER." She wishes they'd come down there and communicate. Okay, sure. They should just tell you to your face you're going home. Why not?

James walks in and joins the conversation. He tells Paul that he best know he's not sending "Little Meech home" and James says, "Thanks, Captain Obvious," in the Diary Room and says that too bad he doesn't know that Vic, Corey and Nic are sending her home. They all ponder what Nic will really do, but they agree that whatever she decides, Corey will do her bidding. (Conversation seen with cuts to Nic painting Corey's toenails red in the HOH room) Oh, BB, you!

Later, Vic asks Corey what he's going to do with his $5000 bribe money. If he doesn't use it, it just disappears, so James councils him to give it to somebody; anybody, *James* please! Corey's all; it's not fair, it's my care package, I should get it. James then tries to get him to give it to him and he won't when the HOH; he'll throw it. Even lunkhead Corey thinks that's "sketch."

Corey gets in bed with Nicole and tells her about the whole thing with James. Their poor hamster brains start to turn and they come up with this: maybe the only reason James would do such a thing is if Victor is going to vote Paul out! That's why James would do such a dumb thing! There must be something they don't know! No, James really is that dumb.

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These two simpletons keep talking themselves into thinking Vic is going to vote out his BFF, Paul, and they watch him like a hawk. Ohhh, look. He's passing by Meech, that's sketch! What are they talking about? (They say: "Hey homey." "Hey.") OMG, I can't believe he would do that! Let's offer him the $5000 bribe to vote her out. Totes, babe. We have to! *PANIC*

They decide to definitely give the money to Vic, and then Nic tells him to waaaaaaaaait! Corey tells her it's "Big Brother, not Big Baby," let's do this! So, while Michelle is picking her teeth with a coat hanger lying around with James and Nat, (literally one of those clear fat plastic ones!) Corey then tells Vic that he wants to offer him the bribe to solidify their #FinalFour. Nic shouts, you have to do the deal about Michelle! Victor tears up, he's so touched.

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I mean, this guy has been through the ringer and I cannot be happier for our #BasementJonSnow. I just wish it wasn't final four with these two schmucks. Ah well, if they can make it to the end; they got this wrapped up; Vic and Paul. Paul tells us it's the #Friendship he's been looking for the whole time. He tells them he feels like they all just got engaged. LOL #FinalFour

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Julie tells the house guests that even though they've all speculated about another double eviction; there will not be another one this season. She gives them the gift that keeps on giving on a reality show, and shows them video from their families. Victor straight up turns red as a radish and cries. Corey smiles blankly at his package while Nicole smiles open-mouthed. Michelle looks lovely and smiles wide. Paul can't stop crying either. Natalie also tears up at her mom's package. James gets to see his little girl and he's happy he got to see her.

Paul and Victor are a MESS and Julie asks them about their parents. They can hardly talk and I think we can tell who lives with their parents and who doesn't. Ahem. Hey, it's sweet though! No shade! They love their mamma's!

Julie tells us that Victor, "is not a stranger to second chances," and we get to see his family back home. He mom, Gretchen, tells us they are from Puerto Rico. She taught Vic Spanish and they've taught him to be an athlete, so he's always been competitive. His dad, big Victor, is proud of him; he thinks he's a super guy. They think he's a "beast" that can go all the way and love that he smiled every time he got kicked out. Mamma thinks he should watch out for James, and we agree!

It is time for the live eviction and Paul says hey to his peeps and #Friendship, blah, blah. He then tells Michelle they "may as well end this with a friendship kiss of death," and they kiss after she says, "I'm down." Michelle says if they keep her she'll go after Vic because he's been out twice before; if they vote her out; he and Paul will win because they are mental and physical threats. Werd, lady. Werd.

Victor votes Michelle out, natch and then it's Nat's turn. She votes to evict Paul, after she says, "Hi, Julieeeeeeeeeee!" Corey votes to evict Michelle, natch. Then it's up to James, whom we know, yep, votes to evict, Paul. So now, it's up to Miss Thang. OH NO, She has to GET BLOOD ON HER HANDS, YOU GUYS!

Nicole votes out Michelle, because of "strategic reasons," don't ya know. Michelle talks shit on her way out. She tells everyone to get Nic out next, the snake, until she has to run out the door to Julie. Nicole starts yelling, "That's exactly why I got rid of her!" LOL

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Julie, looking like she came fresh from her Engineer's, I mean, Dermatologist's office; asks Michelle why they evicted her instead of Paul and she says she must have been the bigger threat. Julie then shows her her goodbye videos from the other house guests.

Paul tells her he loves how she was a bomb-dropper, and Vic tells her he's so sorry, but she was just the next to go. James tells her she's awesome. Nic tells her it was "purely strategic" but she did call her out, so...and by now, Meech has lost it and started with the tears. She tells Julie in her cry-whiny voice that she's so happy to meet her. She tells the audience how lucky they are because she tried a billion times to get tickets and couldn't!

It is time for the new Head of Household comp! Not only is it HOH, it also is the Have/Have-Not comp. It's the ol' chicken coop, thread an egg through the wire comp with your hand, and this could take a while. Yep. That's it for the show. We'll find out on Sunday's show who wins!