I'm telling you , I could sure use a laugh and Car Share IS laughs, so here I am. Peter Kay and Sian Gibson do in one small space what entire sitcom armies can't accomplish and I couldn't appreciate it more. I'll just say thank the gods and the wee boarlets for the subtitles. Rolling S1:E5 after the break!
John (Peter Kay) is on the Hand Free again, this time with his Nana
Because it's her birthday! Happy birthday Nana Rose! I swear to all that is holy, slap a Newfoundlander accent on her and I think I'm talking to my Nanny-In-Law! The part about Paul not taking the cord for the leaf blower especially.
Kayleigh (Sian Gibson) ushers two kiddos into the car silently while he tries to wrap up; hallo Chloe (Charleigh Adams) and Alfie (Niall Foley), Kayleigh's nephew and niece! They seem kinda rude right off the bat; John will be dropping them off on the way to work as their mum is having something private done to her legs (?)
Nobody understands why John calls his Nana Rose, why not call her Nana? That's personal, right? And Alfie's playing Robot Repeater with John; this is what people say to the childfree when their monsters are being hooligans
John's game, though, he's not giving up! Wotcher into, Alfie? Angry Birds, John's had a few of those in his time ifyouknowwhatImean and Ithinkyoudo. Then it's a fight over who's the tool and I think John and Alfie are BOTH tools.
Technically: Alfie is acting his age, John... although if my 8 year old acted like that, he would have ALL HIS STUFFIES IN TIMEOUTS. For like an HOUR!! Jk, my kiddo wouldn't act like this right little stinker.
Stopped at a traffic light, John runs to a post office box to mail his Nana's letter (the day OF her birthday?? Poor form. I prefer to wait until the following year and then be early), I should not have laughed right now.
John's broken his arm, oop. Kayleigh tries something I also tried once: if you can bend it, it's not broken. Turns out it CAN be broken and you might have unwittingly tortured a small child that fell off a zipline for no good reason.
The brats are still screaming with laughter, Kayleigh shutting the door on it just ups the hilarity. He's whimpering the song of every man everywhere:
John rages against the youth of the nation while Kayleigh fetches them in and grabs a sling. A Peppa Pig sling. Why isn't he going to the hospital??
Oh man, INXS comes on their favourite radio station
Michael Hutchence died 19 years ago yesterday, such a loss to the musical community. They talk about his death, in between dance poses (?)
Which brings up the death of Princess Diana. For the record: I was working graveyard shift at a hotel in Northern Alberta bawling on the phone for hours with my best friend watching the funeral on TV. Devastating.
Kayleigh's not telling, though, okay she will. She was in a hot tub with 4 boys and her sister. John was working, but his aunt left him a post-it note, lasagne in the fridge and Diana's died. What??
Wedding song conversation: they think "I'm Not In Love" is a bad idea, but other than that John doesn't care anyway, he'll never wed. Kayleigh wants "Runaway" by The Corrs and bloody hell, I never had a wedding song. Don't forget "Ain't No Sunshine" for my wake! Y'all heard that!
Kayleigh's got her whole wedding day planned; heartsearches.co.uk isn't going very well, though. The gas light keeps beeping, get thee to a petrol station! She gets him something for his arm! No, not painkillers (because she doesn't believe in putting anything toxic into her body) but a creme egg that she throws at him. To catch. With his bad arm.
I don't think she loves our John like we do, does she? Okay, she's just not the sharpest tool in the shed.
NewTed is living the dream, helping a mom with her kiddo while Hero by Enrique Inglesias plays...so moving.
John's off to work, don't go overdosing on pain meds so Kayleigh has to take the bus now!
Kayleigh's on the phone with a relative this time before traveling, somefing's gone wrong. John's still in agony but has managed a slightly more professional looking sling, so half high five! He also managed a talk with a pretty blonde lady, as Kayleigh's taken note of, and waves goodbye right as it gets weird in the car.
That's Rachel (Gemma Facinelli) and she's asked John round for a drink. KAYLEIGH. Stoppit. She DOES want him to day, just
She's just looking out for our John! Slutty (Kayleigh's word) Rachel has already been out with three blokes from work since Christmas and YOU'RE dating, Kayleigh! Or you know, you WOULD be. Rachel's a wrong 'un, don't say Kayleigh didn't warn you
Hey, John's in the music video this time! It's Devil Woman, woot! Keiron keeps calling and calling, interrupting his reverie. Kayleigh's upset that our Keiron's off to Cyprus, she'll have to move out, she can't afford the house on her own. She'll have to stay with our Mandy and John won't be able to pick her up any more.
This is like recently when I got my hair cut and I saw my new stylist standing outside looking forlorn and waiting for a cab late on a Friday night and it was everything I could do to not offer him a ride. It would have been weird.
The car starts to slow, did Kayleigh put gas innit earlier?? Or somefing else? She can get the bonnet up, anyway, more than him. They can't tell anything, it'll be an hour! An hour but at least Kayleigh gets some flirting in with Jermaine. What are they going to do for an hour?
Is Captain Hook 🙁 alive? I don't know! And no, you're not a boxer, for the 8th time, John! Help arrives
Ohhhhh, Miss Piggy put petrol in Lady Diana's diesel car! Rachel's Bitch and Shit For Brains aren't talking as we're oot at the perfect ending to a perfect day. Cheers!
Sooooo, it looks like Kayleigh's got a wee thing for our John, yes? I don't recommend the Two's Company roomie sitch but worser things have happened! Until next time you lot!