Dev meets Colin Salmon on the set of The Sickening on this episode of Master of None. Colin randomly tells Dev he still misses his cat Shakespeare, whom an owl scooped up and took. He'll never be the same again.
They do a scene together that the director says is 99% CGI, so they hardly even need them. After, Colin asks Dev if he writes, and he says he dabbles so he invites him to his trailer. Dev does want to come to his Cinnabon smelling trailer, yes. Colin tells him he has a very small oven that he bakes the Cinnabons in and he can have one, so save room! (His accent is like buttah!)
Denise takes Dev to a business soiree and tells him she's interested in a lady that is not a lesbian, but curious. She says it's a service to her and Dev asks why. Denise says because she'll have her "come more times in 20 minutes than she has in the last six years." She leaves Dev to his own devices to see about the lady.
At the party, Clare Danes flirts with Dev as Nina, the food critic. They do shots and make out on the street. She pulls out a joint and asks him if he wants some, it's what she smokes before sex. As she smokes it he's all OMG, you're smoking it right now! He keeps saying how cool she is. They fall into her amazing apartment and he can't even believe his luck, "Am I Vanilla Sky'ing myself right now?" he asks. They get going on the couch and right when they're about to do the deed, Dev spots framed pictures of a dude. She says it's her brother. He asks if she married her brother. We see a pic of the same guy in a wedding shot. Dev can't go through with it even though she says it's her that's cheating, not him. She puts her number in his cell in case he changes his mind.
Denise is on the set with Dev and he asks about what happened with the curious-lady. She tells him she "made her come 8 times in 30 minutes" but that she didn't know what she was doing, so she only came 3 times, "It was adorable." She tells Dev that lesbians come all the time, don't ya know. He tells her what went down with him, and wonders if it's okay to sleep with her after all. She says if there are no kids then maybe so. He doesn't want the thing that happened in "Unfaithful" to happen to him though. "Unfaithful" is dope," Denise says.
She tells him that everyone cheats now and he won't believe it. There's an older guy there that he's known forever and he'd never cheat on his wife. She asks him and he says well, there was this one time this gal gave me clear signs when I was out of town. But instead of cheating, he ensured faithfulness by immediately going to his room and jacking off. They all finally decide that if the husband doesn't know and she doesn't get emotionally involved he's just a "human dildo". "So it's like she went to the store to buy a dildo. But, in the package it was my penis attached to my body. I'm just a human dildo." Dev declares.
Dev arrives at Colin's trailer and he wants him to write a movie for him to star in as a car. He's the actual car. Colin tries to come up with the title - "Car Person" "Car Human" - until Dev says how about just "Car Man" and Colin calls him a genius. He tells him the Cinnabons should be ready by nightfall. It takes a while to defrost.
At the icecream shop a jerk cuts in front of Dev and gets the last giant banana split he had tried to order. Turns out it's Nina's husband. Cue to Dev and Nina screwing as hard as they can.
Denise cannot believe he did that. She only thought they were talking theoretically. She had admired Dev's principles, man. He gets a FaceTime call from Colin; could he come over to his house right away, it's urgent.
He arrives in his posh house to him listening to a sonnet. "Just let me finish this sonnet." He shows him a domino set up and asks him if he wants to do the honors. He hands him the pusher stick and they fall down to reveal Shakespeare the cat. He says goodbye and leaves. Seriously. That's all he wanted. Haha.
Nina shows up at Dev's date while she's in the restroom. She tells him it's not a real date because the girl is wearing a hoodie and sneakers. That's what you wear to eat junk back at home, not go on a date, she tells him. This is a free food date. He argues it is not, but she tells him to come over, her hubby is going out of town. As Dev and date leave the restaurant she says she's tired and wants to take her HUGE bag of leftovers home. Next week there's an awesome sushi place she wants to try. He goes over to Nina's.
Both are half dressed and hubby is coming back inside the apartment. Dev hides in the closet, but hubby goes to hang his jacket and he sees him. Nina confesses right away that she's boning him and hubby says you're boning a little Indian dude? "You didn't have to bring up my ethnicity or my size," Dev says. Hubby says he's leaving, and wait, why are you still here - to Dev - Dev says, it would be weird to ride the elevator with you since you were leaving. GET OUT.
Dev and Denise are shopping and the hubby walks in. Dev hides, but hubby says don't worry, it's cool. We worked it all out, it made me realize what was wrong in my life. Nina joins him and they smile and act happy. He now does wood working. He waxes poetic about marriage and wood working metaphors. He also apologizes about the ice cream episode; he was coked out of his gourd.