This week on New Girl, Nick and Winston can't decide where to go for brunch and it's driving Reagan nuts.
She asks them if they have ever made a decision before and Nick says he got dressed today, didn't he? Schmidt says he actually laid out those clothes for him. Reagan tells them that if they'll make a decision, she'll have sex with one of them. They have to choose which one will sleep with her. She's just trying to teach them a lesson, "This isn't an 80s summer camp movie," but the guys believe her and go off to decide.
Schmidt and Cece go to look at wedding venues and see a bunch of junk until Schmidt sees his dream venue, The Lisbon Hotel. They assume it's all booked up, but the manager says they're in luck because Shia Lebeouf canceled his solitaire tournament. Schmidt's old bully from school walks up with his fiance and tries to get the date for them, and they all race to be the first to get in. The couples try to out romantic each other to impress the manager, but in the end Schmidt and Cece realize they don't need grandeur, they have each other. "They remind me of my stupid grandparents on their 60th anniversary. Old," says the other lady.
Nick and Winston argue about who will bang Reagan until Winston reminds him about Cindy De Le Garza back in 8th grade. He had dibs on her, but Nick frenched her at the dance. So they tell Reagan Winston is the one. She tells Winston not to eat 2 hours beforehand, and to "bring something to numb your mouth."!!!!
Reagan tries to talk Nick into changing his mind by describing a Hepatitis drug to him in an extremely sexy voice. He almost caves, but not quite. She smirks as he rolls away in his chair, because he can't stand.
Winston is with his partner Aly doing their police thang and he tells her he's stressing about Reagan. Aly reluctantly exchanges compliments with him and says he has nothing to worry about; he has kind eyes. Winston says she has a nice neck. Nick calls and tells him he's changed his mind and Aly tells him to go ahead and go on home.
Winston shows up and Nick says his dib has expired. He's going to be with Reagan. He's, "sex prepped all day and I did a hundred girl push ups." They argue and spray cologne in each others faces. "I smell so good!" They decide to trick Reagan into making her make the decision.
They tell Reagan that as a lady in 2016, it's her decision to decide who she's attracted to. She wants them to pitch themselves. Nick says he's virtually hairless and his sexual prowess gets the job done. Winston says he has kind eyes and digresses into how awesome Aly is. It's really sweet, "When I'm with her I never notice the time. It's probably because she's the best part of my day." Nick and Reagan show him that he likes her. He goes off to ask her out. Reagan tells Nick to pick a room to do it in. Nick needs a few, he'll get back with her.
Winston goes excitedly to ask Aly out for a drink after work and she accepts. But then she asks him if her new boyfriend can come along. He say yes. Poor Winston cannot catch a break.
Nick comes back out in a bright orange velour track suit. "You look like you're in a Boca Ratan street gang," Reagan rightly tells him. He tells her, "I decided to put on my "I'm not having sex tonight outfit"." He tells her he's made a decision not to have sex this way tonight, but would she like to go out for a drink? She accepts and also puts on her "Not having sex tonight outfit'.
Winston shows up and tells the gang about Aly. He asks them to sing for him to ease his pain and they do. Because that's what friends do.
Best lines of the night:
Cece on the hotel Lisbon: "It's so beautiful I feel like I'm inside Cate Blanchett."
An addled Nick to Reagan while trying to decide: "Well, get ready for the skin circus, you little peanut."
Schmidt on brunch: "Hybrid meals are for people who are too lazy to wake up and have a proper breakfast."