Hi everyone, time for another Orphan Black. Paul dropped a bomb on us last week and we found out some stuff that made me want to find out EVEN MORE STUFF, so let's roll Variations Under Domestication!
Alison (Tatiana Maslany) wakes up before her husband Donnie (Kristian Bruun) and sneaks over to the nanny-cam, did it get anything useful? She watches him get out of bed in the middle of the night and stare at her before leaving the room. I could do without the closeups and slowdowns of him in his tighty whitey ginch, but it ends there, the memory card is full.
She finds him loudly emptying the dishwasher and muttering about all the things she hasn't done yet (are they throwing a birthday party? No self-respecting SAHM would leave everything to the last minute and I've seen this woman coupon clip like a PRO); he has no intention of telling her where he went in the middle of the night.
She keeps asking, he keeps yelling and just when he's about to walk out, she clocks him across the head with a golf club.
Honestly, him being a monitor is the only think that makes sense. She can barely stand him and he rarely even acknowledges her existence. It also explains why Paul (Dylan Bruce) is actually attracted to Sarah (Tatiana Maslany), because she wasn't his assignment. She was raised in the wild, as it were.
Paul was in the military, and he's there under a private military contract. She wasn't her and he wasn't him, so they need to be able to trust each other. Sarah sneaks out while pretending to get ready for a shower, so I'm guessing trust is off the table.
She calls Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) who talks with her hands a lot, right? It makes me happy just to LOOK at Cosima! She even has my favourite voice or speech pattern, which makes no sense, I am aware.
Cosima's walking through the library while talking, she sees Delphine (Evelyne Brochu) from the other day smiling and waving. She's wondering if Delphine is a monitor too, Sarah tells her to stay away, just in case. Stick to the science.
Alison calls then, she needs Sarah right NOW! Alison sends her kiddos down the block and prepares to move Donnie...right down the stairs. Good thing she put a helmet on him first!
Paul didn't bother going after Sarah, he's got a GPS tracker in her or in the car, so so wuz, cuz. He's checking her tracks from home with a cuppa and talking to himself.
Donnie wakes up tied to a chair, she wants to know what's in the box! Don't make her get out the crafting scissors! Or the hot glue gun, woo hoo!! That's genius. She wants to know what's in the special box, Donnie, tell her what you switched out! Because no way was all that about
Cosima isn't taking any of the advice Sarah gave her, she goes right over to Delphine and agrees to go to a lecture on Neo-Lution with her. Wait. Are these guys pals or potential lovers? I'm getting a vibe.
Paul's moved on to drugging booze and leaving creepy voicemail messages for Sarah, what the hell did Beth ever see in this guy?
Sarah finds Alison and what Alison's done to Donnie and now we find out what Donnie was bitching about: they're having a big potluck with friends! At their house. With Sarah and Donnie downstairs, the kids at the neighbour's and Alison in pajamas.
Truly: this is a suburban SAHM's nightmare.
Alison ropes off the downstairs (with a beautifully lettered sign and ribbon, natch) and heads down to get changed. She wants Sarah to interrogate Donnie as her, she impersonated Sarah, her turn! And she needs a bartender.
Felix (Jordan Gavaris) is busy right now with a large smiling naked man, oh, maybe not! Perhaps Teddy (Earl Bubba McLean) has had all he can take and rentboy Felix is now free as a bird to travel to Scarberia. I love that!
Paul has contacted Olivier (David Richmond-Peck) to give his status update on Beth, but he hasn't spilled that she's actually Sarah, so he may be still on her side. Olivier says something that I know is creepy, even though it sounds reasonable but I can't work out why I got chills. "As long as your subject makes her own choices, there are no wrong decisions." What does that MEAN? Is that what Beth did, walking in front of that train? Made her own choice?
Donnie has HAD it, he got up in the middle of the night to watch cricket, OKAY? South African games start at 4 am and maybe Sarah knows something about that! Anyway, he's putting his foot down
Daddy-swearing makes me laugh like almost no other; Sarah's had enough of his denigrating his wife, however and she gets right in his face. "Your wife is the rock of this family and you will no longer speak down to her!" Woot! High fives
Dr. Leekie (MATT FREWER!!!!!! DR. LEEKIE IS MAX HEADROOM!!!!!!! Canadian SWOON!) and his lecture attract "diverse thinkers" with typical eye adornments; time to start! What is neo-lution? It's about upgrading body parts? Being gods? Cosima's glasses making her "platonic"? Whatever Max Headroom, you need some real shoes.
He calls it self-directed evolution, which is not only a choice,
Vic (Michael Mando) isn't going away that easily, he breaks into Felix's apartment (I'm looking for peni in the pictures as directed! All the paintings have a penis rendered in some form apparently and I'm going to find them) and finds Felix's non-password-protected computer opens to the Google Map to Alison's house, which he wouldn't need of course, since he took a cab, but ANYWAY.
Vic's coming to crash the monthly potluck
Felix gets their first and GUESS WHO ELSE IS THERE?? No, GUESS!!! It's Chad, but really it's Eric Johnson from The Knick!! I knew I recognised that blonde hair swoop! Edmonton's finest, ladies and gents, western Canada is now on the map.
Alison is loaded; she can't believe she messed with her family and beat up her husband and I disagree. He was burning stuff in the woods! Look at this scene
Seems simple, right?? Except that those two actresses are the same person, so just IMAGINE the coordination that took! Sometimes I forget the simple artistry of this show because Tatiana Maslany IS just that good. The best part was the little whimpering noises Alison made into the glass.
Okay. So if Alison has known Donnie since high school, he can't be her monitor they assume but. But. WE SAW HIM BURN STUFF! What do you burn if you leave Big Boob Blowies? I think Alison is as dismayed as I am to think Donnie is actually her husband that she's supposed to love. Then she passes out
Paul's parked across the street watching the party, ooooh, maybe he can head off Vic!
The lecture is over and the Freaky Leekies are explained (Dr. Leekie once offhandedly described his perfect human as having silvery hair and one white eye, so); there's some interesting verbal fencing between the good doctor and Cosima; superfan Delphine is aghast. Right until Cosima steals two bottles of wine, then she's right on board as they run off.
Ahhhh, Felix thinks he's spotted Alison's real monitor, it's Aynsley (Natalie Lisinska who is English, I bet they have four hundred voice coaches on this show) who's been on Alison's junk all day and all night. She asks a LOT of questions and is married to the Chad (Eric Johnson!!! As above) who keeps grabbing everyone's asses.
Delphine and Cosima stop running long enough to eye-cuddle over smoking, Cosima only does the pot, so sorry. There is DEFINITELY something there.
Sarah as Alison reminds Donnie to remember what he has here; with the house and the kids. You know what, sometimes a house is just a house and what's important is happiness, Donnie. Crappy duplex and all.
Vic's come to crash the party with his bloody hand! Sarah's gonna meet him in the upstairs bedroom just as Paul comes in the back door. He sees Alison passed out on the couch and then all the family pictures: I just want to know if he notices the bangs Alison rocks. He does not, checking her neck for Beth's scar, which wakes Alison up enough to proposition him. "You want some of this?"
They're interrupted by Donnie shouting into his gag, he's fallen over in his chair. The computer is on in the crafting room, though, so Paul gets to see Vic and Sarah's meeting. He bursts in, but I can't figure out what scam he's running, saying Sarah works for him. Let's go talk about it in the garage!
On the way out, Aynsley's blocking the door, she needs to talk! Paul and Vic go out to the garage and the ladies settle down for some girl chat. Aynsley thinks Chad's having "another affair." It's that "slut from spin class" because clearly SHE is the problem here, not the husband having yet another affair. He promised he wouldn't do it again! I'm sure there are some people who never do it again, but I bet the vast majority find another slut-filled spin class.
Paul takes Vic down in three moves, he's going to interrogate him with an air-powered nail gun. I'm pretty sure this who scene is sponsored by Home Depot. He gets Sarah's last name and he wants to know about all the people that look like Beth.
Sarah comes in then to find out that Paul knows her name and he wants to do away with loose end Vic. He ends up stapling Vic's GOOD hand to an Adirondack chair; that's just mean, Paul.
Meanwhile, Aynsley's making her way into the basement, to find Alison passed out on the couch in the shirt she saw her in earlier, AFTER she noted that Alison had changed into what Sarah was wearing. Aynsley tucks Alison in to bed and wanders out to the garage to find Sarah and Paul. Sarah covers for (impossibly handsome) Paul by suggesting that they're having an affair, Aynsley runs.
That night in bed, Donnie wants to talk. Alison tries to apologize for her breakdown, but he wants to go first. He's sorry, it wasn't just porn in that box, he had an affair two times with a Jenny Nussbaum and he wanted to keep their dirty letters. I feel up to my ears in this particular quandary this week, so I don't think I'm objective enough to judge effectively. Is Alison right in being relieved? Is Donnie forgiven just because he admitted it years later and wanted to keep something personal and private to himself?
Paul gets out the drugged booze, time for a chat! He doesn't pour, though, because Sarah hits him with the C word right out the gate. He puts back the drugged booze and grabs the other bottle, taking a swig first. She should have just told him that in the first place.
Ahhhhhhhh, Dr. Leekie and Delphine know each other very well, Delphine is definitely involved on a deeper level and apparently straight, so perhaps I misread that as well. I wonder if he sent Delphine at Cosima because he wants her genetic materials. Hmm hmm hmm. We're oot.
Until next time you guys! Cheers