Paranoid S1:E4 Criminals on the Internet Recap

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Welcome back to Paranoid, where every single day our team learns a little more and gets increasingly suspicious...rolling S1:E4 after the break!

Micheal Niles (Neil Stuke) is briefing the station; Bobby (Robert Glenister) is being sent to Dusseldorf to help Felber (Christiane Paul) find the hoodieman, hands across the water indeed!

Since the hoodieman was able to burn the papers before they could get their hands on them, they only have a couple of options: find the Ghost Detective (Kevin Doyle) (also - NINA nicknamed him that?? I thought it was Alec)  who swindled Eric Benton (John Duttine) out of a batch of papers OR find the hoodieman. Bobby's to look in Germany, everyone else will be scouring the home territory.

Niles is going to the press with the photofit of the hoodieman, which makes everyone groan and me perk right up. Who saw the hoodieman? Huh. I may have the wrong end of the stick there, maybe that photofit is supposed to be the Ghost Detective, but it looks nothing like Kevin Doyle. Too, er, good looking, sorry Kevin!

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Alec (Dino Fetscher) is pacing at the park, he's meeting the Ghost Detective but he hasn't shown up yet, which is probably because Niles is holding a press conference right away. They spooked the Ghost Detective!

Alec rushes back to the station to find Nina (Indira Varma) waiting: what's Niles doing?? Nina keeps defending all the pressure Niles is under, that's interesting. That's it, they'll just have to find the Ghost Detective on their own and and she thinks Alec has a connection to him anyway. Alec thinks she's complimenting his penis, apparently, given his greasy smile (HE LOOKS 12) but she thinks there's something buried in his brain.

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It's Alec's fancy education to the rescue. The name, Det. Gaelen that the Ghost Detective used twigged Alec's Greek Mythology minor. He thinks the Ghost Detective is a doctor or another type of medical professional.

Bobby's made it to Dusseldorf, where odd Det. Felber and her great cook of a husband Cedric (Daniel Drewes) pick him up at the airport and make feel right at home. Both of the Felbers are weird AF

Alec and Nina are on the hunt at the hospital, but as usual: Nina's having trouble keeping her mind on the job. She wants to know why he didn't tell PC Megan Waters (Anjili Mohindra) that he and Nina were dating when Megan asked Alec out in front of everyone.

I mean it, I think Nina is possibly the worst detective I've seen onscreen in a LONG time. I understand that personal lives can intrude and nobody's an island, but this the SECOND time her romantic situation has taken priority over a case they are actively in the middle of investigating. It's ridiculous. She's almost as bad as ACC Jim Burns on The Fall, who can't get his sad eyes off of Stella Gibson to have a look around at what's going on; the difference is that he's not investigating anything, so he's just sort of pathetic, not incompetent.

Nina gets frosted when talking to HR as well. She clearly doesn't like how well the clerk Melanie (Vicky Meyers) and Alec get on. She takes a moment to suggest that Melanie (I fink) should change her "eager to please" bra and THIS is why you should never date someone whose affections you aren't sure of. Makes you all squirrely and suspicious, even

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Alec's waffling and getting his shite twisted and Nina's acting like she's 12 and then aha! She goes back in to apologize to Melanie and ask some real detective-like questions! As in, was there someone who may or may not look like the photofit (totally does not look like the photofit) but that stood out for acting odd. Melanie remembers a surgeon named Dr. Fairweather who disappeared for no reason all of a sudden.

Lucy (Lesley Sharp) is assuming her walk with Bobby is off, since he's in Dusseldorf, yes? He wants to discuss their relationship when he gets back (ohhh!! Don't do it, Bobby, there's something up with her) but right now he has to go. She hangs up and turns to see creepy Dr. Crowley (Michael Maloney) walking up. LUCY KNOWS DR. CROWLEY??

He read about her being a witness (really? They publish witness names? That seems unsafe and highly unlikely) and wanted to see if she was okay. Oh ho and they DO have a history, she calls him Chris and doesn't want to hear about his opinion of her being a Quaker

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Does this guy sleep with all his patients? What does that mean for Jacob Appley? And he drops in a mention of her "history" which she calls him on immediately. Hmmm. She has a LOT of animosity towards the good doctor. He refers to her former promiscuity and there's more we aren't about to find out right now. Dr. Crowley makes his point, though, he'd like to find out about Bobby's progress on the investigation and the implication is that if she doesn't pass on everything, he'll inform Bobby about her past.

Bobby and Felber have tracked down Marquita Olivo (Nikol Kollars); it seems she was also a babymomma of the deceased Reuben LaCana, like Dr. Benton who was murdered. BE CAREFUL, MARQUITA!! The thing is, her son looks about the same as Dr. Benton's son, that's quite a coincidence, isn't it? It gets even more unusual, Dr. Benton was Reuben's doctor when they met, Marquita sent Reuben to see a doctor over his drinking and drug use.

Alec and Nina storm Dr. Fairweather's house, but nobody's home. The man himself is sitting with his wife (the woman in the wheelchair) next to a cliff drinking champagne, when he asks if she's ready we're ALL thinking he's about to wheel her over, aren't we?

Megan got a tip that someone matching the photofit is at a cliff with a woman in a wheelchair, looks like a fit!

Oh, so, wait, the doctor is jumping off a cliff WITH his wife? Surely he could have gotten some sleeping pills or something, jumping off cliffs is iffy at best.

Felber introduces Bobby to her gay partner Walti (Dominik Teifenhaler) - WHAT was the point of announcing Walti's sexual orientation? Exactly zero other characters have been introduced by their sexual orientation, WHY are they treating homosexuality like a severe peanut allergy that must be introduced prior to someone's name? Is it meant to be FUNNY, like "hahaha, he's gay and it's hilarious and look: hes going to flame out at any moment!"? It makes no sense to identify him that way.

Anyway, he's tracked down Sherri, they're all three off to see her! Lucy calls Bobby, she wants to explain herself why she's a Quaker. She'll call him that night to explain that PTA soccermoms weren't ALWAYS PTA soccermoms. Or Quakers

Sherri's at the train station; she's making a run for it, she's scared. And unused to Felber's kindness, so she'll help them. She remembers a scary guy that she met with Reuben, but is having problems with details as she was very drunk. She's trying...

Nina tries to explain her psyche a little bit; she gets confused around men because of a heart attack she saw her dad have when she was 15. Her dad was saved by a cardiac surgeon (like the Ghost Detective) and she thinks Alec is the strongest man she knows. Er

Lucy has finally reached the sanctuary of her Quaker meeting, to be greeted by creepy Dr. Crowley smirking from the rear.

The police are searching the area beneath the cliffs, did Fairweather's wife get dropped? Or what? Nina just wants the bloody pages but Alec knows there is a reason Fairweather is doing it this way.

Oh, okay, Dr. Fairweather is fine and so is his wife, everyone's alive and he's at a trailer. Hiding?

That Quaker meeting invasion was too much for Lucy, she calls and breaks things off with Bobby over the phone before heading to the police station.

Lucy puts the bug in Alec and Nina's ear about Dr. Crowley, after setting Nina straight for being a c-word that doesn't moo about her dating Bobby. Honestly, Nina. Alec has GOT to declare himself about Dr. Crowley soon

Bobby, Felber and Walti have taken Sherri on a walk in the area of where she thinks she met this man that Reuben was afraid of, look! There he is! Lucky that! She shouts it, so the guy runs, OF COURSE, jumping off a building and landing poorly. Walti calls him a drug dealer.

Alec and Nina have rushed right off to see Dr. Crowley, Nina clocks Monica Wayfield (Polly Walker - Alec's mother)'s jacket but Alec doesn't, so he's quite surprised when she pops into the room. Alec promptly loses his shite and starts shouting about WHY is Dr. Crowley using his mother now? Why now??

The Dusseldorf contingent is getting ready to interview the drug dealer, who lived, anyway and can speak English really well! Bobby sneaks in the bathroom to take an anti-psychotic first, he's been ringing Lucy all afternoon while "investigating."

Alec's fixated on his mother hanging out with Dr. Crowley, he found pictures (implication is nude) of his mother at the psychiatrist's office. What? Alec waits until Nina gets out of the car and then races away. WHAT?

It's like a competition as to who can be the most unprofessional on this show!

Walti is explaining a local sex website to the rest of the team in Dusseldorf, it sounds a lot like Craigslist. He bought a gazebo and dated three men at once from there (that's UNFAITHFUL, not promiscuous, Felber! Stop stereotyping gay men!) and Reuben had a page with friends!

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Mr. Robot season one would agree with that

Including the dude they have in custody waiting in the interview room. Bobby's anti-psychotic meds are making him psychotic and it's touch and go for a moment until the suspect gets shaken up and offers up that Reuben was HIS dealer, not the other way around as they suspected. Reuben was selling all kinds of black market meds.

Alec arrives at Dr. Crowley's house again just as Nina reaches him by phone: they know about the trailer where Dr. Fairweather's is hiding, she'll meet him there! He is closer, so he gets there first and finds the wife sleeping in bed. Nina is around the back and sees Fairweather's van. She breaks into the barn he's hiding in and finds his brainstorming wall, it's all about Dr. Benton.

Oh wait, he locks her in, smashes a window on the ceiling and starts pouring in gasoline, followed by a lit rag. What?? Nina and I start looking around frantically for the papers, that can't have been Fairweather that did that, he's a doctor! Harm never and all that. Oh right, good, it wasn't him, it was the hoodieman! Well, not good for Nina, but good for Fairweather, who runs over the hoodieman and saves Nina, yay!

Apparently Dr. Fairweather just winged the hoodieman, who escapes in a hail of gunfire on a dirtbike while Dr. Fairweather loses his shite entirely. He's lost everything! NO-ONE is safe now!

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So maybe he better come clean then? And we're oot. Until next week!