Welcome back to Master of None. We're getting close to finishing up season one, so good thing season two has been green lit!
Dev and Arnold unsuccessfully order drinks at a bar because the bartender is too busy mushing cucumbers. Arnold uses the tried and true *catch eye, flash money* move, but the guy turns away and walks over to a lovely lady instead. Oh great, they say, we'll never get served. He's going to serve just the hot ladies.
Meanwhile over in another spot, another lovely lady is minding her own business when a guy comes up and says he bought two shots. She declines politely, saying she doesn't feel like a shot. He acts very put out, so what, he's supposed to just waste the money? FINE, he shoots them both down. So, we should go out some time, he tells her. She has friends she needs to go meet, thanks, k, bai.
Scene: Dev and Arnold walking home on the empty streets. "Don't Worry Be Happy" playing, them talking about silly, inconsequential things.
Scene: Lone, lovely lady of the declined shot walking home on the empty streets. *ominous music playing* with her cell phone in front of her, she types in 91 just in case, and keeps looking behind her.
Dev and Arnold decide happily to go through the park. Dev steps in dog poop and complains about his "fave sneakies" being ruined.
Lovely lady hears steps behind her, and it's the shot guy from the bar, he's followed her. She enters her building and she runs up the stairs. Shot guy gets through and starts banging on her apartment door shouting, "Let's go get some tacos!" She tells him to leave, but he keeps on. She sighs and finishes that call.
Dev is filming an ad for "Garden Depot," and on a break he talks to one of the women in the scene. It's the lovely lady from the bar. They realize they were both there last night, and she asks how his night was. He tells her about his tragedy with the dog poop and his "fave sneakies". He couldn't get the smell out and they were out online, so now he has to actually take time out to go to a real store. Just the worst. Can she even believe how bad his night was? So, how was your night, he asks. Her reply? Ummmm.
Dev and Arnold are surprised when Rachel and Denise say they have both had men follow them too. Denise says one guy followed her home after she had just watched "Failure to Launch" at the theatre. Dev's asks "Why'd you see that?" She says, you want to know that after I just told you what happened? He asks, but you actually saw the preview and still went to see it? She breaks it down with, "Sarah Jessica Parker is BAE," and also, she likes her diverse culture, see. "But when I wanted to see "You, Me, and Dupree" you said nay," Dev reminds her. "Sarah Jessica Parker isn't in that." Oh yeah. "She killed it in "The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" though." "That's Jennifer Garner." That exchange was life.
Rachel tells the guys that they don't know so many things about the subject. "Like what for instance?", asks Dev. That Instagram we took of that frittata for instance, go check your comments, she tells him. He checks and he only has one from Arnold. She shows him hers, "I want to fuck your face?!" He wants to know who sent it and she shrugs, "Someone with a dick?"
Rachel is picking up a couch from a guy listed on Craigslist and Dev is still filming, so Arnold volunteers to go with her. On the way there she asks him what it's like to be so tall and large. He freaks out when he sees a mouse on the sidewalk and she has to calm him with some tea.
Denise and Dev are taking the subway when they see a man diddling himself. Denise is disgusted, it's the third time this year she's seen it happen. Dev suggests they move, but she's had it. They decide to take matters into their own hands and they film it on Dev's phone and make a Citizen's Arrest. The guy tries to deny it, but others on the commute back them up.
The cops are waiting when they arrive at the stop and Dev starts to say, "You have the right..." The cop says, "Don't do that," sternly. Hahaha He hands Dev a business card and tells him to send the video he took to the number on the card. Dev says, "Texting you a video of him jerking off. That's kinda weird." The cop doesn't think it's funny.
Arnold tells Rachel he's an expert at haggling. They'll play good cop/bad cop. They go in the place, he sees the sofa and sits on it. He declares he's in love with it and starts acting the fool. She pulls the guy aside and tells him her brother isn't right. He loved "Home Improvement" growing up and whenever the (she does the perfect Tim pig sound) came on he would get so excited he banged his head and now he's messed up. - Aside: Okay, whoever thought of that should get 50000 Gold Stars for life! - End of Aside - Could he reduce the price, they don't have much money. Sure.
Dev arrives at the bar and tells the actresses what happened. Dinah calls him the "Masturbating Vigilante" and Dev says, huh, I don't know if you should call me that, it kinda makes ME sound like I was the one masturbating, like, "Don't mark that lady!" HAHAHAHAHA They have a drink to Dev's heroics, then they have tons more. He ends up getting drunk and getting very feminist with his director. He asks him if he's noticed how they hire beautiful girls to make the lemonade for the barbecuing guys, but hohum guys for the main parts and man, that is antiquated!
When Dev walks up to his trailer the next morning, he finds out the director has rewritten the commercial so that the ladies are front and center and Dev's part is cut. The director feels bad, but thanks him for the idea. He's out, the ladies are in.
Later sitting at a table in a restaurant, the director walks in a shakes hands with Dev, apologizing once more. He then shakes hands with Arnold, introducing himself, "Hi, I'm Brad Honeycutt." Then he turns and does the same with two other men sitting adjacent to them. He walks out. Rachel asks if they noticed her and Denise were ignored? Dev dismisses that, saying he didn't think Brad ignored them on purpose. She gets pissed that he wouldn't believe it.
On their walk home Dev tries to tell Rachel he may have been wrong about Brad, but she says she wishes he would have believed her straight away since she is his girlfriend. It's insulting to her that he didn't listen when she has her own experiences in life. He gets it and he will try harder in future. Draw? No way. She starts fast walking down the street calling out, "I WON!" "I WON!" "I WON, EVERYBODY!" Rachel is alright.