This week on New Girl we finally get Megan Fox as Reagan. Let's see how she does.
A guy at the bar hits on Cece and Schmidt isn't having it. Schmidt has become super jealous ever since him and Cece have become engaged. She tells him to chill, it happens to all bartenders, even Nick. Nick dismisses a cute gal and Winston and his partner Aly want to know why. He tells them he's waiting for magic to happen and Winston agrees, saying, “I want magic too. I want her to have a metal bra, and then I got a sword in my hand and guess what, we’re both wearing skirts and we’re riding on flying horses.” Nick tells him "That's more like dork magic." Aly says they'll just end up all alone, they aren't getting any younger. Nick tries to lift a keg to prove he's not, and ends up in the hospital.
While there, they talk about how they need to listen to Aly and not be dreamers. But, uh oh. In walks Reagan, a pharmaceutical rep, and it is game over for Nick. He overhears her say she needs somewhere to stay for a month and he offers Jess's room. She agrees after grilling him about the apartment; does it have a rain shower? Why oddly enough I'm installing one today, Nick tells her. Back at the apartment she shows up and recognizes Cece as a former hookup at MTV's Beac House 2003. Schmidt starts making weird humming noises.
Reagan asks if Schmidt is having a seizure. "No, no it's just that when he has to process a lot of emotions sometimes he likes to do Nick Cannon's solo from Drumline," Cece tells her. Cece asks him if he wants to talk about her living there, but he won't. Nick tries to impress Reagan while he shows her the apartment, while Winston tags along. She is definitely not impressed with the rain shower.
Schmidt walks in on Reagan putting antiseptic on Cece's cut finger and mistakes it for her hitting on her. He freaks and says that there's always a window where before the wedding someone incredible swoops in and steals the bride. "I'm the Bridget Wilson-Sampras here." Who? "Oh, I suppose you're both too cool to see The Wedding Planner!"
Reagan walks in on Schmidt sucking on a block of cheese to tell him she's leaving. He tells her to stay and help him fix his mess. She lets him pick one thing out her medical bag and he picks the uterus shaped stress toy. He explains that he's just this former fat kid that can't believe this amazing beautiful woman loves him; she's so much better than him! She tells him to just accept how amazing Cece is and that she loves him. He says he knows what to do and they drive off to the bar to see her.
Schmidt opens a ring box and it's empty, he then pantomimes pulling a ring out and puts it on Cece's finger, saying he gives her his trust; she's always had it.
Reagan has moved out and the gang goes to her hotel room to ask her to move back in. When she shows up, Nick comes up behind her while she's wearing headphones and she kicks him in the head before she knows who it is. They ask her to stay, saying she did kind things for them. Of course she accepts in the end.
We have a little scene at the very end where Cece gets in the shower while Reagan is brushing her teeth. When Cece turns the water on, it explodes and she calls for Reagan to help her turn it off. Schmidt walks in and all he can do is hear words like slippery, wet and hot. His reaction is hilarious as he just smiles in different ways and finally leaves. Hahaha
Best lines of the night:
Nick, on how he's got no chance with Reagan being hot and bisexual: "I can't compete with that. That's too many people, Winston. That's all the people!"
Schmidt, on how he's not bothered by Cece and Reagan's fling: "I completely appreciate the fluidity of sexuality, I'm basically a woman myself."
Schmidt, on Nick installing a rain shower: "What in Megan Kelly's America are you doing, Nick?"