In a stroke of genius casting, the fabulous and handsome Peter Gallagher shows up as Schmidt's dad in this episode of New Girl. Let's go take a peek at his awesome eyebrows.
Cece got a job for "Gas Station TV" because the original lady they hired went missing, but Schmidt has stayed up all night preparing for the wedding. Jess says she'll help take over so that Cece can take the job.
Schmidt says there's so much to do, they need to split up. As he's talking he falls asleep standing up. He has a wedding flash-drive and they proceed to communicate via Jess wearing a head camera so he can see what she sees on his tablet.
Winston shows up late for lunch with Nick at his bar, and Nick is upset that he's late again. Winston asks him what's the big deal, he just runs a bar while he's a cop. They start comparing jobs and what's harder, so they decide to show each other what they actually do. "Accounts payable; bills to the laypeople," Nick shows Winston in to his office.
Jess arrives to taste test cakes, and Schmidt is so nitpicky that Jess finally puts the camera on a soothing table water fall and starts singing "Genie in a Bottle" soothingly. He passes out.
Jess calls Cece to ask her if she knows how Schmidt has his color coded wedding file worked out in the computer, because she can't find the beverage guy's address. Cece guesses blue, and Jess goes to the winery where we see our gorgeous Gavin (Gallagher). She knocks over a slew of wine bottles and he says they may as well open the last one.
Meanwhile, Nick's employees are causing chaos that Winston can't control. Nick soothes them all, but Winston isn't impressed. It's now time for him to go with Winston and Aly to see an actual hard job.
Jess and Gavin are tipsy, and he is charming the pants off of her with great lines and good Manchego cheese. "Have you ever had your eyebrows combed by a woman you just met?" she asks him. "Yes," He answers after a long stare. Ha.
Schmidt has had a great nap, and asks what Jess has gotten done. She tells him she got a great discount on wine, and she even made out with the guy, Gavin, a little. Schmidt freaks out and the noise he makes is priceless.
Jess tries to explain, but with every opening of her lips Schmidt shushes her. Cece walks in and asks how everything went. Jess tells her she accidentally made out with Schmidt's dad. Cece asks how could that happen, and Jess says it's Schmidt's fault for not labeling his color chart clearly. Schmidt says he did label it very clearly.
"Chairs are labeled under chartreuse because it sounds like chair-treuse." "Tuxes are labeled under magenta because mah-genta-men will be wearing the dope tuxes."
Jess asks why he can't try cut Gavin some slack. Schmidt says he let him down too many times during his life. She asks why he even had him in the file anyway. He tells her he had thought he might invite him, but now he knows he's clearly not ready.
Winston asks Aly to tell Nick it's a slow day when nothing has happened. She says she will not hold up a yardstick to compare dick sizes. Winston is all, all yardstick? Nice. She says, okay fine, tape measure.
Jess kind of forgot to tell Schmidt that Gavin is coming over to get her for a date, so she tells him to go hide while she gets rid of him. He insists she wear the helmet cam because he doesn't trust her.
Winston and Aly have a real call to get a dangerous person and as they apprehend him the guy scares Nick to death while he's sitting in the car. He yells at Winston that fine, he does have the most hard job! Winston is smug until Aly tells him Nick just wants him to acknowledge he's grown. Winston looks at her like cartoon hearts are coming out of his eyeballs.
As Jess makes up all kinds of silly excuses to get rid of Gavin, he's not buying it and just keeps acting charming. Before she knows it, he sees pictures of Schmidt on the fridge, and he tells him through the helmet cam that he's sorry for everything, but not in his defense, he was stoned most of his years, even this morning. That's neither here nor there though. He hopes he can at least talk to him and let him apologize. Schmidt comes out and introduces Cece as the person that made him everything he is today. Cece thanks him for whatever he did, because Schmidt is a wonderful person. Schmidt ends up giving him an invitation to the wedding, "There's no plus-one so don't even ask."
Winston and Nick talk and Nick apologizes for not realizing how hard Winston's job is. Winston tells Nick he's impressed by how hard Nick is working and he's brought him some lunch.
The rest of the gang walk in and they tell them they need a drink and explain what has transpired. As they all sit at the bar looking dejected, Nick asks if Jess liked kissing Schmidt's dad. Cece says she doesn't have to answer that and Schmidt covers his ears in disgust. "I liked it a little bit," she admits. We hear a bunch of gagging, ugh-y noises as the screen fades out.
Best Lines of the Night:
As Jess is looking at chairs for Schmidt via helmet camera: "Folding chairs?! Jess, if I wanted my wedding to be an AA meeting, I would have called my Aunt Terry."
Schmidt, on his wedding planning day: "Unlike the other D-Day, it will not be a walk on the beach."