We are back to our beloved show, New Girl. Schmidt and Cece have finally gotten married; Winston and Aly are in love, but poor Jess and Nick have crossed paths when Regan showed back up and snatched him up. Let's see what kind of shenanigans Jess can come up with on Season six!
Schmidt and Cece are waiting for a response after putting in an offer for a house, while Winston is Skyping with Aly, since she's gotten a temporary out of town FBI job. They all hear a racket, and it's Jess, "just making some table legs." Apparently, since Nick's been gone with Reagan, she's been keeping busy. "The Urban Corn Harvest. Learning Portuguese." "You joined that Soul Shred gym, and got scary ripped." *flashback of Jess moving the refrigerator with her bare hands*
The guys ask her what her deal is, but Cece intervenes, and takes her aside. She confronts her about Nick, but Jess denies that's her problem, "Nicholas Miller? That old turkey burger?" She says she's over him, moving on. And then she says something in Portuguese. Schmidt walks in and says they got the house!
When they all go to see the house, a man comes out and asks them why they're looking at his house. Well, because, they just bought it from him, Schmidt says. The man says, it's not for sale? Apparently, Aly's sister is not a very good real estate agent. Winston has been assigned to keep an eye on her while Aly's gone.
Schmidt tells Cece he cannot live there anymore. *flashback to Winston walking in with Furguson, asking them to save some for Fur. Then we see Jess walking in on them in the shower together* Jess says she'll help them find a house, and they're in, even while Shmidt is groaning and covering his face. While looking at houses, Nick comes home to an empty loft.
Schmidt is crazy excited about a fancy house, but Jess walks by and says it's way too over budget. Cece reminds him she's right, but he wants this perfect house. She says they can ask for a bigger loan and Schmidt says they'll cut "co-pons". Cece tries to tell him it's coupons, to no avail. She gets rid of Jess, so that they can get that bigger loan on the sly. But first, Schmidt has to make eggs on the stove first. "you think I'm going to buy a house and not make an egg first?" He's brought a tiny pan and two eggs, natch.
Winston has to break the news to Aly's sister that's she's fired, but when she finally gets it, she starts to cry, so Winston says he's buying a house; she's hired! After she tries to tell him he should buy a boat to live on, he's out.
At the bank, Cece worries their stats don't look to good on paper. "We're as ugly as Winston's belly button ring," Schmidt says. "Who gets a belly button ring with an outtie?" Cece wonders. "At 33 no less."
Jess walks in to see Nick and she asks about Reagan. He tells her that they're doing great, she's moved to Seattle. Jess is all awkward and sniffy when they hug, but Nick wants to do friend talk. She says she can't, she has to go to the zoo. Yeah, the zoo. She's actually hates the zoo.
Jess runs and finds Cece and Schmidt, and tells them the truth. She tells them -she sees him and her heart explodes. Schmidt just says, "We all need to meet - new people." LOL He then tells her he's sorry, and then "GET OUT." They're all, WHAT? He's called Nick to come down to the bank, and there he is. So Jess hides and Nick signs for collateral on the loan. They get the loan, and Jess says she'll deal with her Nick problem herself. She's got to learn to.
Winston is scared to tell Aly about her sister, but then let's it all out. "That girl is a trunk of a tree. Ain't nobody at home up here. She a cotton head. This girl is a dumped out sewing kit. She talkin', but ain't nobody listening." Aly says she knows her sister is not the smartest, but they have to be honest with each other, even with the distant relationship. All is well.
Winston sees sulky Jess and asks her what's wrong. She says it's really important, can he handle it? Before she can even say one word, he's all: "Don't I know it, don't I know it, Nick is back!" She tells him, uh, actually, she's not over Nick. He's all, awkward .... she wants to know how she can act normal around him; she can't even knock on his door.
Winston says it's okay, he's there, and they knock on Nick's door together. Winston leaves once they're in, and then Nick and Jess start to talk. Nick tells her about his writing and how well he's doing. He's written a book, even. He shows her the draft and it's dedicated to her. Schmece runs in and tells them they've found their house!
They go to see the house and it's a dump. They've decided to go with something they can afford after all. Jess starts to take over, and apologizes, but Cece says it's all good. They are going to tear it all down and re-do anyway! They start to trash the place and there's a pretty fireplace underneath. The friends celebrate with some champers.
Best Lines Of The Night:
Schmidt on the fancy house: "The en suite is en fleek."
Jess lying about going to the zoo to get away from Nick: "I'm supposed to meet her in the lemur section of the parking lot. Like, 10 minutes ago."
Aly's sister, Leslie on her Real Estate mad skills: "Every morning I just google 'house' and sometimes stuff comes up."
Nick, coming home from New Orleans: "Craw Daddy's home, and he's ready to see his Craw Kids!"