Hallo, hallo, hallo! Welcome to week 6 of RPDRAS2 and what a THRILLING season it's been. Thanks to TTM for her fab recap of the RUvenge of the Queens last week, who were you hoping would get back in? Personally I thought Alyssa was a shoe in but I was really happy to see Tati back, she is hella talented. But Phi Phi leaving whilst Roxxxy is still there? Pretty sure that was shady-ady-ady on Alyssa's part considering how much she went on about judging on 'consistency'...
This week sees the queens enter into the merchandise game, who will sink and who will swim in RuPaul's Fishtank? Back in the Werk Room the queens see Phi Phi's lipstick message, "I wanted to avoid hugs because of tears," hmmm, no gurl, you just don't want to show ANY love to Alyssa and I get it, just own it. So many queens not owing their shiz, it's driving me NUTSO!
Alyssa is 'confused about all this conflava...' aren't we all? Rather than being top 5 they are back to top 6 again which would be so annoying! Detox just wants everyone to go home so she can win already. Mama Ru arrives to announce the mini challenge: "Butt Butt Golf" featuring Andrew Christian underwear. The queens must all dress in their best golf gear and get balls in the Big Pink hole the quickest using some contraption that dangles between their legs. And the winner is....ALASKA!
The maxi challenge sees them creating their own merchandise worthy of their 'all star brand' to spruik with the top two actually getting a limited amount of their product made and sold at Drag Con 2017. I need to get to Drag Con, how does one do this? When the fuq is it?
Heads down and bums up in the Werk Room as the queens work on their products, Detox is making a trash receptacle that 'reads' you when you give it trash, Alyssa is doing an energy drink which is proper genius for her brand, Alaska loves it too 'it's filled me with as much buffonery and goonery, YAAASSS GAWD!!'
Marcus Lemonis from some CBS thing arrives with Mama Ru, he's to critique their ideas before they come to full fruition. First up is Roxxxy who is doing wig glue, Lemonis isn't convinced..."What makes that glue different from any other glue?" but Roxxxy can't answer that, so many *crickets*. Katya has a product called "Krisis Kontrol" which is a thorazine laced body mist but Lemonis doesn't love it because she is selling a feeling, 'That's the first way to kill a brand' and suggests she rethink the whole darn thing. "Just lose the bottle and the whole idea," OUCH! Tati has the best presentation for her Tati T-Set that will help you talk shit about anyone you like. For some reason, we don't get to see the others?
On set with Michelle Visage and Carson first is Katya, who is sticking to her guns and keeping her idea, she ain't panicking because she doesn't do that anymore. She seems nervous and runs through a few lines with a plastic turkey and some of the Pit Crew, I am not convinced. Next is Detox who has turned a trash can into some sort of deranged muppet? It's like Dame Edna and Miss Piggy has a plastic love child, not right.
Next up it's Alaska 'Thunderfun's' Fashion Tape, she clearly has the BEST tagline 'Anus-thing is possible' and she has the judges cracking up. Alyssa lacks some energy but has the best tie in with the movie 'Drop Dead Gorgeous' however Michelle tells her 'if you are selling an energy drink you need to be, ah, energetic?'. TOQ!
Roxxy doesn't hit the mark with her wig reveal, the second wig then shows her real hair so she really needs some work. Tati appears to have things under control though and they love her T-set gig. Tati is so polished and professional I could see her doing something with QVC and Lisa Rinna!
Mirror D&M time whilst the ladies get ready for the runway (Category is: Pants on the Runway!) Alaska and Detox are talking about how they know so much more about their brands and I REALLY need to see their season because this whole 'RO-LASKA-TOX' thing is so over my head! But they really do lurve each other a lot. Detox declares that "Rolaskatox is not in effect, I know it may come across that way but we are not here to be a clique..." yeah, right...
RUNWAY! Guest judge is Graham Norton, YAAASSS! Category is "Pants on the Runway" but Ru is in a dress? I don't get why he doesn't theme too, that would be so coll but I think he thinks he's above that and really, it's his fuckin' show, right?
ROXXY: Michelle liked her wig reveal sight gag but thought she should only do it once, twice was no bueno. Graham thought her body suit was too beige 'a bit granny on her honeymoon' (LOL) but Todrick loved her bell bottom look for the runway.
KATYA: her commercial is really great, I love her absurdity! Graham thinks so too, 'just brilliant!'. RuPaul and Carson love her runway, 'it's so wrong it's RIGHT' she is totes on brand.
ALYSSA: Todrick loves her runway "It's like Cruella DeVille went all the way black and once you go black..." Graham is confused as to why she is in front of the White House but Carson thinks she got the job done. RuPaul thinks she should have called it Tongue Pop which is actually brilliant.
DETOX: Graham loves her runway, it's a real head turner. Carson thought that a talking trash can was very her but Todrick doesn't like that her hand was moving it. 'too much like a ventriloquist'. Graham calls her prototype 'ugly and piss poor'.
ALASKA: Graham is allllll about her ad 'you really captured that pretentious 1990's perfume ad vibe'. Carson says that he 'Speilberged the shit' out of his commercial and he loved it. Graham says about Alaska's runway "from the bottom down you are Studio 54 but your hair is going bowling".
TATIANNA: Michelle is gaggin on her T-Boz from TLC runway and it is AH-mazing, easily the best of the lot. Carson thinks she wasn't bitchy enough in her commercial, 'we still LIKED you!'. Graham could see where she was going with it but didn't think she went all the way there.
WINNERS: condragulations Katya and Alaska!
SAFE: Detox and Alyssa!
BOTTOM 2: Tati and Roxxxy
Ahhh ok, I have a baaaaad feeling about this as they go back to the Werk Room. I'm not sure that I agree with this decision, I think that Detox was way worse than Tati. Shouldn't Tati get a Hall Pass? She only came back in last week! Katya is freaking out as it is the SAME top and bottom as E02, The Snatch Game, Tati is just hoping that it all doesn't go down the same way as then, when she was eliminated. Katya is taking appointments from the bottom 2, 'let's have a chat if you want to'. Alaska asks Detox what she thinks and she says 'I don't want to see my sister go home but she has been in the bottom three times now' about Roxxxy, which is the truth! Alaska thinks maybe Tati should go home because she hasn't been here the whole time which makes NO sense at all.
Tati is pleading her case to Katya and tell sher that even though 'she tripped on this challenge' that she is uber-keen to be there and doesn't want to go. "I've been given a second chance and I really want to fucking be here" she says and Katya seems to be lapping it up. On the other side of things, Roxxxy is so thankful to be here but she is fine if she goes home. YES, go home!! She seems sweet but she has done nothing memorable for me this season at all. "I've fallen in the bottom so much, my drive is a little lacking right now,"
Basically, Roxxy tells Katya that she's been in the bottom FOUR times and she doesn't care either way but she blows smoke up Alaska's ass? Hmmm, let's see if RoLaskaTox is really in effect, shall we?
It's a great lip-synch to 'Cherry Bomb', not sure why Katya changed into this Goth riot grrrrl outfit, she should have just kept her original outfit but whatevs. Looks like Alaska has this in the bag though and she is crowned the winner. Who is she sending home....??
TATIANNA! No shock there....WTF, I mean just SAY that you are being strategic and eliminating those who are more talented, right? Or that the Ro-Laska-Tox alliance is in effect? What a lot of old shit, I love Tati. Thank you RuPaul for bringing her back and showing us what an amazing, charming queen she is!
Till next week! xoxox BM