Well.  Let’s begin by recapping Season 6A.  The first part of season 6 and we finally found out who “A” really is.  You know A.  That mysterious individual, sometimes with a gang of backup A’s, who has been terrorising a group of girls in the town of Rosewood for the past five years.  Come on, you know them.  The black hoodie? Surely you know who I mean.

A is the one who sends creepy group text messages, leaves notes in very strange places, and knocks people off willy nilly.  Not to mention burying people alive, crashing cars into people’s houses and attacking them with snakes and bees. Did I mention the arson, framing people for murder or kidnapping five girls and making them live in a real life dollhouse?

A is the one that Mona pretended to be, but was actually only working for them.  The one that we thought was Toby for a minute, but he was actually only working for them too!  The one who was revealed as being creepy teacher Ezra at the end of season 4, but nope!  He was only writing a book!  Who could it be?  It must be Ali’s secret twin! Or her brother? No, it’s Jenna, the blind one!  Maybe it’s all a fantasy being played out while Spencer is in Radley Sanitarium?

Maybe it’s the one we all hoped and prayed it would be, Wren, so we could ogle him a bit more while listening to that dreamy accent.  Personally, I actually hoped would be Aria to make the whole show brilliantly twisted.  But . . . . nope.

*SPOILER ALERT* A was actually CeCe Drake.  Who was born Charles DiLaurentis, who then became Charlotte, who then adopted the name CeCe.  Charles who has been institutionalised since a young age, transitioned to Charlotte whilst institutionalised, has had her existence hidden and denied by the parentals, and finally upon being released ingratiated herself into her families lives as a complete stranger to get revenge.  Cece.  Who has been in exactly 15 episodes out of a possible 130ish.  Of course!  Seriously, do they make this up as they go along?  Colour me disappointed.  Or, you know, mildly disillusioned.

ANYWAY!  Here we are at Season 6, episode 11 “Of Late I Think of Rosewood”.  5 years later.  Thank god there is no more pretending they are still at high school.  At least their slutty adult clothes are now more age appropriate!  Let’s see what everyone is up to and whether anything could happen that would surprise Emily even more.

We start with a previously on with is basically all that ^^^^^^^ finishing up with the four Liars making their plans to leave Rosewood and get on with their lives.  Then we flash to . . . 5 Years Later.

Rosewood High, empty halls, voice over of the Liars talking about A, lines from previous episodes once again reminding us that this is all about A. Still.  Even though we found out all about A last episode . . . or did we?  Those Uber A rumours will never die.

We head into a classroom, and find Alison DiLaurentis reading poetry to a class, the bell rings and the classroom empties.  A man walks and and Alison asks did we have an appointment, Doctor?  He says he’s just here to let her know the the judge has set a date for the hearing in four days time.  Alison starts to write out a letter to the other Liars asking them to attend the hearing, and asks that the good doctor arrange for the courts to compel them to attend.  Dr Rollins tells her that the court can compel them but they may not be sympathetic.  She replies, you don’t know them like I do.

Spencer is the first to receive her letter and I must say that she is sporting some unfortunate bangs right now.  I thought the idea was to make them look older?  Not like their mom gave them a haircut for their second grade school picture.  She is quite subtly sitting right outside the Capitol Building, so no clues as to what she has done with her life since leaving Rosewood. None at all.

Aria has also had a chop, a much lighter bob.  Those eyebrows demand dark hair, sorry sweetheart. She is in a bookstore at a signing table, so she finally became an author? Nope, she moves aside as the real author comes in, obviously just a publishing assistant.  Quite coincidentally there is a copy the book written by her ex creepy teacher boyfriend, Ezra Fitz on the stand beside her.  She also has the letter and makes interesting eyebrow faces at it.

Hanna is on a plane seated beside a super cute baby.  Hanna is a mom?  I’m not sure you should feed babies cupcakes.  Nope, here come baby mama thanking her for her help.  Hanna knocks back a vodka and eyes the letter in her bag.  I’d be making that a double if I were you Hanna.

Emily.  Oh, Emily.  Working at  a bar on the beach, pocketing cash with a bag full of pills.  She pulls out her letter between drinkers and stares wistfully into the distance, or maybe she’s just high AF.  It’s hard to tell.

Alison is at a hospital talking with CeCe aka Charlotte in a room.  Charlotte is the patient, and we find out that she has been in a mental hospital again for all the things she has done?  Wow, Charlotte must have engaged Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer or something.  Alison tells Charlotte that she thinks her friends will come the the hearing and say nice things.  So this hearing is obviously to try and gain Charlotte’s release from hospital after 5 years.  5 Years.  For doing all that ^^^^^ up there, plus a billion other terrible, but hilarious things.  They hold hands, obviously bestest sister friends ever, despite the attempted murder and burying alive.  Alison promises her that she will bring her home.

Cut to the new credit sequence and we have gone from the four Liars with Alison in the coffin, to a new coffin with Alison and the Liars in a line before it.  Ali has also taken over the main SHHHH role from Aria.  Hmmmm, so we’ll have a new body this season?  Will Aria’s eyebrows plot their revenge against Alison for taking the spotlight?

The Liars reunite in Rosewood, at the Brew of course.  Lots of hugs, a trillion selfies, giant drinks and coffees, it’s like they never left.  The decor is exactly the same too, does Ezra still own the joint?  Looks like the same Grandpa style he had before.

They discuss their lives and boyfriends/girlfriends and whatnot.  Hanna works for a fashion designer, Aria works for a publisher, Spencer works for a lobbyist in DC, and Emily lies about working at some kind of Institute.  Unless it’s the Institute for Bar Flies in Paradise.  Hanna is engaged but he isn’t with her, Aria has a boyfriend but he isn’t with her, Spencer is married to her job and Emily is decidedly cagey about that area too.  She may have kissed an Italian girl at some point.

Hanna meets her mom at what used to be Radley Sanitarium.  It has been transformed into a swanky hotel and restaurant managed by Hanna’s mom, Ashley.

Aria goes to visit her dad Byron and he asks if she has seen Ezra.  He’s back in town, still owns Brew and have moved back into the upstairs apartment.  He came home sick from South America where had been working with his girlfriend Nicole, building houses.  There is vague mention of a disaster of some sort, 11 casualties, including Nicole.

Spencer goes to see her mom Veronica, who is running for State Senator.  Where’s dad? Raising big bucks for the campaign in Greensburg.  Huh, good old dad who also fathered the kid next door.  What a guy.

Aria is back to the Brew as fast as her tiny legs will carry her!  This is it!  She is finally actually old enough to have a real relationship with Ezra! (She was a student, he her teacher for those none the wiser).  Nothing creepy about him at all , nuh uh.  Ezra enters the room, eyes meet, nostrils flare, eyebrows emote.  The Ezria stans just wet their pants.  They sit down for a chat and Ezra mentions that Aria’s bosses would be unhappy with him for not producing the second novel he has received an advance for.  She tells him that they understand what happened in South America. Ezra proceeds to bite her head off about how he will never understand and no one will ever understand, understand? Ezra is angry at the world, and the stans just realised the puddle they are in is for nothing.

Spencer goes to see that beautiful block of wood, Toby.  Spoby stans wet their pants.  Toby is still building, apparently also still the worst cop known to man.  Seriously, this guy got so stoned after accidentally eating pot brownies that he had hallucinations and totally let A escape.  He looks great in the uniform though.  They talk and she asks who he is building a house for?  She a lucky girl whoever she is, Spencer says,  I only got a chair.  You ungrateful so and so.  I would be totally stoked if someone made me a chair!  I love sitting down.  They agree to have dinner before she leaves town, giving the Spoby stans a feeling of soggy hope.

The girls meet up with Ali to discuss the hearing.  Again.  Because apparently we are only in day three of the four days til it starts.  God.  Alison reassures them that Charlotte has received five years of treatment and is FINE.  No reason to be scared of her anymore.  Alison pleads with them to be on Charlotte’s side, she’s the only family she really has left.  Spencer says that we came here to say how we feel and you’re asking us to lie for you.  Never change, Alison.

Spencer runs into Mona (ex A, ex dead, ex dollhouse doll) and Mona asks her if she has nightmares, Mona does, and three shrinks and a lot of prescriptions have done nothing to stop the dreams.  It has to be said that Mona was cray-cray before all this so I’d take it with a grain of salt, Spence.

The hearing FINALLY begins and Alison pleads her case to the judge.  Spencer, Hanna and Emily give their support.  Aria, being Aria, has a flashback and freaks out and tells the judge that she would not feel safe.  Her opinion is that Charlotte should never be released.  There’s only room for one melodramatic psycho around here.  Did I say that out loud?  Still got my fingers crossed for Aria as Uber A.

Mona has her turn, and screws up her prepared speech.  She can’t hate Charlotte after all she’s been through, she has experienced it herself. Requests that the judge lets her go home.  Does the trademark Mona dramatic flounce out of the room, and the hearing is over.

The girls all meet at Radley and commence getting their drank on.  Seriously it’s like the only way they could think of to portray these girls as adults is for them to have an alcoholic beverage at hand at all times.  They all receive a text from Ali, Great News! Charlotte has been approved for release. The girls reminisce, express their love and DRANK.  Spencer tells them that she thought it wouldn’t matter what they said to the court, that Charlotte would never be released.  We would lie for Alison one more time, and it wouldn’t matter.  But . . . they let A out. They head up to Hanna’s suite, to continue their totally mature, adult like partying.  Cue close up of security camera positioned over bar where they have been. Here we go.

The morning after and the girls wake hungover.  Hanna receives a call, Emily reaches for her bag and spills out pill bottles and what looks like needles??? WTF Emily.  The caller is Alison and she asks if Charlotte has been to the hotel.  Out for one night and she’s already missing.  They advise Alison to call the police and they will head on over to Alison’s to help her look.

Rosewood churchyard.  Rose petals strewn.  A hand holding a rosebud.  Lying on the ground.  Ruh roh.  Here’s Toby and Detective Lorenzo covering the body, and identifying it as that of Charlotte DiLaurentis.  Well that was short and sweet.  Popular opinion is that she jumped to her death from the bell tower sometime during the night.  Alison is distraught, but here’s Emily told hold her hand and possibly offer her drugs, but hey that’s just speculation on my part.

We then have a Hanna/Caleb scene just for the Haleb stans.  Sigh.  They talk, he mentions Spencer about 43 times and it starts to become clear the he and Spencer may possibly be a thing.  There go the Haleb stans, dripping their way out.  BUT, and this is the best thing I have ever heard.  If Caleb and Spencer are a thing, get this.  Their ship name is CANCER.  Bwahahahaha.  That has made watching this so much more entertaining.

Charlotte’s funeral, the liars in the front row all gussied up in their tartiest funeral attire.  Alison is one the other side, distraught still.  Suddenly, the door opens and in struts Sara Harvey!  Dressed in a black veil and supported by an unknown man.  I can’t even begin to explain who Sara Harvey is, suffice to say she was a member of the A team, and was uncovered as a character called the Black Widow in the big A reveal.  Not a popular person with the Liars, and she still has it out for all of them.

This funeral, and especially this scene is almost exactly what happened at Alison’s funeral (when she was presumed dead) in the first episode. Same dramatic appearance, except it was Jenna back it the original episode.  It seems we are almost right back where we were, and the show has not moved on at all.

The girls gather outside after the funeral, exactly like before, and watch Sara Harvey leave by limousine.  Detective Lorenzo approaches and asks them to stick around for a couple of days.  The autopsy is complete and Charlotte was dead before she was thrown from the bell tower.  Yep, it’s a homicide.  And guess who is back on the suspect list? We end with a shot of a car, the window rolling up so we cant see who has been watching, the car drives off.

So around 40 minutes of unnecessary dialogue, filling us in on all these new happenings and changes, all for us to end up almost exactly where we started? There has to be some sort of other twist around the corner, surely.  The only thing that would redeem this show right now for me would be an immediate injection of Dr Wren Kingston, STAT.

I’ll be grudge watching again next week. Here’s a preview.

Pretty Little Liars 6×12 Preview