Hi everyone and welcome back to one of the funniest shows I watched all last year: Peter Kay’s Car Share. Who’s ready for season two? ME TOO! Rolling in our wee Fiat after the break.
We open right where we left off, with John (Peter Kay) listening to Pure and Simple (from Now 48); hey, Kayleigh (Sian Gibson) is calling, woo hoo! She’s walking to the bus stop and she’s missed! She needs the exercise, her (completely indiscernible) muffin-top is out of control! She can’t stop eating and it’s not even her lady-time. John’s face
She HATES it at her sister’s place, no privacy and no blackout blinds. She was up late watching his YouTube videos. Has he listened to the CD then? Track 2? And the words? No, no, he will (just was) later, sure he will (picking up CD case and looking at it). How was the Monster Truck rally? Kayleigh and I don’t understand how it’s entertaining; they just ride around and bash things? Not even puppets?
Her bus is there so they hang up and he goes back to listening to Track 2 and staring at the words, but it’s over and it’s S-Club time! I admit to watching that show on MuchMusic AND maybe still have a soft spot for the music. Maybe. And then she sings it and he’s there in a monster truck and that ain’t right. I did like the back-up singers in the bus shelter! And the end, COURSE
The phone ringing cuts it off; Kayleigh’s pocket-dialed him from the bus. Did you know she’s head of Promotions and putting together a Christmas team? Neither did head of Promotions John! Christmas just “isn’t about hanging balls these days” izzit? No, nope. She doesn’t usually take the bus either, she has a driver, see, and it’s then that she realises she’s on the phone and she hangs up.
She calls back a few seconds later and he gives her the gears as an older woman listens. She orders him about for a bit
But the “pull your finger out your arse and crack on” was probably my favourite part; John squeaked like a high-jumper introducing his wobblies to a pole, hahahahaha.
ERMAGAHD one of my favourite songs from the 80s is on next!!! Well. It’s either “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” or ‘Waiting For A Star To Fall” or another one, the 80s was a treacherous time of cheesy riff-stealing. You had to guard your keytar closely. John pulls up to a light just as Kayleigh calls back to apologize and a roadbiker next to him thumps his bottle down on the roof.
A five minute verbal slapfight later (like toddlers having a “MINE!!!!!” fight except with “YEAH??? YEAH???” instead) while Kayleigh listens and John drives away with the water bottle still on.
A bunch of failed calls later (sooo frustrating); they finally chat back up; she’s worried about his cholesterol, but he planted something she gave him…I fink…”You’re such an old woman!” gets the two finger salute but he rallies to give us a blow by blow of how to make proper chips. There’s a pan and rapeseed oil (canola!) and a complicated yet passionate description that Kayleigh misses entirely because the call fails.
There’s no hope for it, John, you’re going to have to start picking her up in Bury.
She’s lost getting off the metro, but John’s able to guide her down the street to
Woo hoo!! Forever FM here we come! Hide the CD! And they’re there, while we listen to Enigma and “Sadeness” while Ted 2 works on gardening; is there anything he can’t do?
John swallows his lips with his teeth. But hey, guess who’s deciding the Christmas Team this year?? GUESS?? Don’t forget about Kayleigh!
Awwwwwwww!!! Off to work!
It’s pouring rain after work, there’s a woman lighting up a fag in the bus shelter while John waits for Kayleigh; he calls her over and the poor other woman comes! I should not have laughed at her hopeful expression and awkward puddle-avoiding yet splashing and Running With Gratitude gait.
Yay, he’s driving her all the way home to our Mandy’s!!! I should not have been that excited, but it’s raining, see, bound to stay all night.
30 seconds later they’re on the bone dry freeway enjoying the sun and Forever FM, I KNEW they’d be back at it! What was that, 10 calls in the morning? And the song! “One step further and I would have been there” INDEED.
Both of their phones chime just then; it’s a link to a YouTube video of John’s road raging at the roadbiker! He must have had a helmet cam! John is horrified but Kayleigh just wants to watch it again.
Forever FM commercial of the day: Brilington College, where Brilliance is ALMOST part of our name
Oh wait! There’s a remix of John’s road rager; “Jump On Yer Bike” has over 8000 views, he’s gone viral! I do love the parts where John’s voice climbs into the airy registers.
They pull up outside Mandy’s where her fella Steve (Guy Garvey) is fixing up an old motorcycle, John’s coming to talk to him! Even if it keeps him there all night as Kayleigh warns! (ESPECIALLY if it keeps him there all night) John’s dad used to fix up classic bikes, so John and Steve have some common ground.
As John’s leaving, Kayeigh spies Now 48 tucked into his door, did he read it? Might have done? Did he listen to Track 2? Might have done? Well…he’ll be by to pick her up in the morning.
He’s SO HAPPY driving away, awww!!!! And we’re out. Yay! Thanks for the nudge, EB!
