Fresh from the USA Network, we have a new show, Colony.  The first episode airs on January 14, but a link is available to watch the pilot now at http://www.usanetwork.com/colony/videos/pilot.  Be advised the recap below contains *SPOILERS*

The show stars Josh Holloway, he of the super hawt dimples, also known as Sawyer from Lost.

And Sarah Wayne Callies, everyone’s favourite character on The Walking Dead and Prison Break.

Also, Peter Jacobson, the hilarious Dr Taub from House M.D. Oh, how I miss House.

So, to set this all up let’s take a look at the brief synopsis released by USA network:

“Set in the very near future, Colony centers on one family’s struggle to survive and bring liberty back to the people of an occupied Los Angeles.  Josh Holloway stars as former FBI agent Will Sullivan and Sarah Wayne Callies stars as his wife, Katie, in the series which takes place in a dangerous world of divided ideologies.  While some choose to collaborate with the occupation and benefit from the new order, others rebel and suffer the consequences.  After being separated from their son during the invasion, Will and Katie are willing to do whatever is necessary to be reunited with him.  Thus, when the powerful Proxy Snyder, Peter Jacobson, offers Will a chance to get his son back if he will collaborate with the occupational government, Will and Katie find themselves faced with the toughest decision of their lives.  They will have to go beyond whatever they thought possible, risking their lives and their relationship to protect their family.”

Let’s find out who is occupying Los Angeles and causing these shenanigans.  Last chance at avoiding spoilers . . . . alrighty then, let’s hit it.

We open on an idyllic California bungalow, palm trees, tropical plants, and here’s Hot Dad, being all hot and dad-like making the two kids breakfast.  So what’s for breakfast, pops?  Eggs o’course!  Eggs are gross says little Gracie (I concur, Gracie).  No not gross, says Hot Dad.  Just unhatched baby chickens! *herk* The chicken that will never be promptly goes splat on the floor and Hot Dad gives his best sexy angry face.  Here comes Mom who kisses the kids and the dog (I love her already), and stops to meaningfully straighten a picture of Mom, Hot Dad and THREE kids on the fridge.  We pan around to take in another framed photo of extra child, a not so subtle hint that things are not quite as normal as Hot Dad pretends.

Mom, who we discover is called Katie, tells son, who we discover is called Bram, to go out and pick oranges.  It oh so California right now.  Out he goes and we see a beautiful backyard, beautiful until we notice the rolls of barbed wire along the top of all the fences.  Oh so not quite right California.

Hot Dad, who we discover is called Will, kisses the fam goodbye and heads off to work at the Auto Shop.  After minimal work and plentiful talking, he loads up his van and heads out on a delivery with some decidedly suspicious looking cargo in the back.  Looks kinda bomb like to me, speaking from absolutely no experience.  Will drives out onto the freeway and we get a look at what this part of LA looks like these days.  A lot of fences, barbed wire, wrecked skyscrapers,everyone riding bikes, and the only vehicles seem to be trucks, Will’s van and numerous military vehicles.

The van comes up on a checkpoint and Hot Dad, I mean Will (sorry I’ll be mature now), looks a tad nervous.  There are numerous uniformed, red hatted soldiers complete with sniffy dogs pulling over vehicles.  They scan his ID armband, check his manifest and clear him without a visual inspection.  He drives to a deserted underpass and meets shifty dude waiting beside a truck.  He swaps his LA identification out for a Santa Monica one and directs him to the truck.  Will is given a jacket, beanie and gloves and directed to a quite small freezer box.  In he gets, and it is quite a tight squeeze, I am feeling claustrophobic just looking at.  But then, Shifty gets in too!  And then they get covered in an insulated blanket and ice tipped over them *loosens non existent collar*.  Anyone else feeling a little short of breath right now?

They get shut in and the truck rolls.  Shifty opens a valve to let some air in, and turns on his tablet attached to the lid which is apparently also a high tech surveillance device.  He has numerous angles he can view, something tells me this is not his first time person smuggling.  He asks Will which he is doing, running from something or running to something.  Will tells him that he is going to the Santa Monica exclusion zone to find his son Charlie who turned twelve last week.  They were separated during the arrival.  Just who is it that has arrived and caused all this trouble? That’s what I want to know.

The trucks pulls up at a GIANT grey wall, that apparently runs the whole way around this area of Los Angeles.  The gates open and they drive through heavy gates and a large security contingent into the middle of the wall.  Here the truck goes through sniffy dog inspection, the drivers are scanned and pulled out of the truck and marched through security scanners.  The whole truck is then scanned for heat emissions by an infrared scanner, and lucky for Will and Shifty, the freezer masks their body heat. The LA drivers are replaced by Santa Monica ones and the trucks rolls forward once more.  Shifty checks his cameras and all looks good.

KABOOM! The truck is rocked, Shifty is unconscious and Will is thrown clear of the freezer. He looks up through the trucks brand new sunroof, right up into the sky above the wall. Right up at the insect like alien spacecrafts buzzing around, making those cricky-crrrr alien sounds.  The aliens.  ALIENS? We’ve been occupied by aliens?  I thought that was all a particularly invasive dream.

He pulls himself up and looks out at the absolute carnage wreaked upon the checkpoint.  Bodies and hi-vis clothing everywhere. The truck is surrounded by soldiers, and more of the alien insecty things buzzing around.  The camera pans up and we see Santa Monica stretching into the distance away from the wall.  So close but yet so far, Will.

Now here comes Katie, riding through the streets on her bicycle with the Fur Kid trotting along side.  So nice of Rick Grimes to lend her his bike don’t you think?

She rides on past the wall covered in 100’s of photos of missing family members, past the restaurant where a diner is being hauled away by the Redhats into a vehicle, and up to a fenced-in house.  She enters the house, which seems to be a makeshift doctor’s surgery.  She asks to see Heloise, and says that she has heard that she makes insulin.  Heloise informs her that as some conditions are now considered unworthy for treatment, backyard breweries have sprung up to try and replicate the medications required.  Diabetes is one of them, seen as nature’s way of culling the weak.  So yes, backyard insulin.  Extracted from canine pancreas.  Fur Kid is so grateful he was left at the gate right about now.

Katie offers up a bottle of wine in trade for the insulin.  Heloise offers up a Hells Yes and cradles that bottle like a baby.  Come on now, we’ve all been there.  Katie then inspects the insulin, realises that it is warm and cloudy, so no good.  But Heloise says Hells No, a trade is a trade.  Plus, wine.  Katie pulls a gun and Heloise says Hells N- oh fine, no wine is that good.  Katie gun-bullies her way outta there, gets the Fur Kid and his precious pancreas and gets the F out and fast as her skinny legs can pedal. Kinda ruins the fast getaway, a bike.

Now we’re back in jail with Willy, who is insisting that he gets his phone call.  All around him there are sick, scared, trodden down prisoners. Pretty sure there ain’t no phone.  He calls a soldier a Collaborating A-Hole and receives a gun butt to the face.  Upon researching this I found it is not a pistol whip, but in fact butt-stroking.  I sure hope no one checks my browsing history.

It is now evening and Katie and the kids are worried, Dad and his dimples are two hours late. Katie’s sister Maddie and nephew Hudson walk in. Hudson is the diabetic and Maddie is pissed to find out that Katie didn’t get the insulin. They only have a week of insulin left, what will they do?  I don’t know, but maybe if TWO people were looking instead of complaining you might have better odds. ANYHOO, Katie decides to risk curfew and go looking for Will.  She hits the auto shop, workmate Carlos knows nothing, absolutely nothing, NOTHINK! And shuts the door in her face.

The curfew air raid siren goes off while she is still on her way home and here come the alien bugs on patrol.  She hides under a military vehicle while the street is being scanned, but oh no! Here come the soldiers, piling in, about to leave! The truck starts up and rolls at the same time the bug loses interest and zooms off.  Phew! Katie will have calves like cantaloupes after all this pedaling.

Next day and she’s off again, and heads to her friend Broussard to ask advice.  He seems to have worked with Will in the past, and implies that with the work they used to do they are surely on a list and won’t be able to hide forever.  Totally reassuring, friend.  She heads to the hospital, which is in chaos due to the explosion.  She can’t get anyone to help her find Will, but takes the opportunity to sneak out back and steal some insulin.  Score!  She’s almost busted by a doctor, who she convinces to check for Will, but he is not there of course.

Katie stops at a payphone and rings Broussard and talks in code about there being a party, why wasn’t she invited, was her other friend invited, how did her friend get home after the party.  He tells her her friend was not invited, turned up anyway, and was escorted away by another party. Maybe he barfed on the rug or something.  Obvs, this is some kind of Resistance code for the bomb, which steps things up a notch.  Are the Sullivans members of the Resistance?

Back in jail, a group of Redhats and one obviously too important for a hat Bald Guy enter.  Bald Guy is looking for Will Bowman.  Hey, that sounds an awful lot like it could be – no surely not.  Looks like Sullivan is a fake name, if it were me I would have changed my first name too but what would I know.  He is dragged off into the back of a truck, and they head up into the hills until they get to a gated compound.  Will asks where they are heading and Bald Eagle tells him the GZ.  Which is apparently what the cool kids call the Green Zone.  They pull up to a McMansion where a full blown rich person partay is happening.  Pretty ladies, lobster, champers, expensive art, no rug barfing allowed.

Will is directed upstairs where we meet the super friendly Proxy Guvnor of the LA Block, Alan Snyder who promptly removes Will’s cuffs and offers him a tumbler of Scotch.  He apologies for Will’s treatment and reveals he knows exactly who Will is.  Special Agent William Bowman, Gulf War and Afghanistan veteran, FBI fugitive hunter extraordinaire with a record of tracking down over 50 fugitives. Suck on that, Tommy Lee Jones.

Snyder wants to know what he was doing at the wall, he doesn’t believe he’s part of the Resistance, otherwise he would be dead already.  He says that their “hosts” are tired of insurgency and Snyder thinks Will’s skills could be invaluable.  Snyder doesn’t really want much from Will.  Just form a special task force, infiltrate the insurgents and bring them their leader, Geronimo.  You know, nothing hard or anything.

Snyder then takes him over to the balcony in time to witness a very large spaceship launching from the wall at speed up into space leaving an Aurora Borealis like cloud in it’s wake.  It is beautiful and frightening all at the same time.  Snyder tells Will that the most important day in human history is coming, and that he wants Will and his family to be on the right side of it. If he chooses not to take advantage then he and his family will be sent to work in “The Factory”.  Somehow I don’t think it’s the C&C Music one.

So Will returns home to the relief of his family.  He makes some lame excuses and then heads off for a very welcome shower scene. Katie is waiting when he enters the bedroom and they have embarrassingly fast sexy times.  It’s only been a day since you saw each other, people!

She grills him afterwards, and he tells her their cover is blown.  He finally tells her he went to find their missing son Charlie.  He couldn’t take the guilt of not being able to get to him in time, and that it was ripping their family apart.  Katie gets angry and tells him to consider his other children, that his being caught could have led to their kids being sent to a labour camp.  Oh, that kind of factory. He tells her about Snyder’s offer and how he has accepted as he thinks it will help them.  Katie sees it as putting a target on their back, collaborate and you die!

They finally sleep, and awaken to the sounds of someone making breakfast.  It’s the cheery old Proxy Guv, flipping bacon and brewing the now ultra rare coffee.  Kids wake up, because bacon.  Will sends them off with their brekky and Snyder makes his final offer.  Access to information, private tutors for the kids, security details!  Snyder tells them that all is temporary, once they have satisfied “their” needs, then “they” will leave and life can go back to normal.  What do they need?, ask Katie and Will.  Snyder dodges the question and tells them he needs an answer right now. Will proposes the deal, if they want his help, they want their son back from the Santa Monica Block.  Snyder does not commit, but tells them good things come to the loyal.

That evening, Will heads off for his first night’s work as a collaborator with the Occupation.  Katie sees him off, tells him she’s with him all the way and then goes back to making out with a bottle of bourbon she seems to have had stashed.

Next day Katie is back on the bike and speaking codes and secret handshakes to gain entry to a secret garage at the back of a house.  The Resistance.  She informs them that they now have someone on the inside.  WHO? they ask.  ME she says.  The Occupation just hired my husband to hunt us down. Well shit, lady. Do those dimples mean nothing to you?