Welcome back to Happy Valley! I hear this one is funny, but I’m worried about the Knezevics (and eternally grateful to the Facebook Sarah Lancashire fan who screencapped that name) so we’ll see what happens!

Last week we went to Tommy Lee Royce’s mother’s funeral for some soul salve for Catherine, John strangled Vicky over those pics he TOTALLY could have played off, Clare fell off the wagon with a resounding bang, Nev re-hired the probable prostitute-murderer Sean Bamforth (angry truck driver), Ann and Nev made up over Helen’s funeral and Catherine *may* have to worry about the gang of Croatian Knezevics, one of whose crotches she tazed. By accident. All caught up?

Catherine is in conference with a psychiatrist, who is asking about the box she ticked re: have you ever contemplated killing yourself or others?; he’s focused on whether she’s been practicing suicidal ideation but I’d wager he’s got the wrong end of the stick (that’s fun to use!) and her imaginings were all of the homicidal variety.

He asks if she had any couseling after her daughter died and she says no, but she had a breakdown. And her marriage didn’t make it, which we knew but watching Sarah Lancashire’s spare recounting is just so affecting. She’s an actor like Brendan Coyle who I fell in love with during Spotless; she’s incomparable in her ability to display emotional depths without ever coming across as sentimental or schmaltzy.

She says it changed her in that she’s sad now, and wasn’t before. He asks if she’s hiding that sadness from co-workers, as they all think she’s the life of the party and I don’t know about that. Anyway, I’m sorry, I’ve gone too deep and am going line for line, so to sum up: the list of people she’s wanted to kill include our Ryan for setting off a fire extinguisher in the hallway because someone got the chips he wanted (I forgot to mention, he used to be quite the disciplinary problem at school the first season, something I COMPLETELY identified with, my oldest being Satan Incarnate at that time – the way her shoulders would slump every time the teacher waved her to come inside would almost make me tear up because I KNEW that), Clare for her wagon bounce and Daniel for not mentioning the fling with an ex-girlfriend that precipitated his being booted from the marital abode. NO, I DON’T THINK I COULD GET ANY MORE WORDS IN THAT SENTENCE, FANKS FOR ASKING!!

Oh and the thing that’s she’s there talking to Himself for, which happened the same day of Clare’s fall from grace. Roll credits!

We’re back at the night of the funeral(s), Catherine followed Clare to Jockey’s downtown, where she’s meeting up with old friends who know this copper? Who’s a right bitch? Looks right through you and resembles Catherine! Clare blames her drinking on Catherine leaving her at Helen’s funeral, Catherine apologizes while Clare throws up in the gutter. She explains about having to go to Tommy Lee Royce’s mom’s funeral and THAT Clare would have understood. It’s almost heartbreaking to see how lucid she’s trying to be all of a sudden; addiction is a beast, y’all.

Back home, Catherine tucks Clare in with the alcoholic gift basket of a bucket, water and a note saying “ring me, I’m not cross” and asks Daniel to get Ryan off to school instead.

At morning debriefing, there was a fire in a flat, which turns out to be Vicky’s flat; she’s missing and arson is suspected.

The superintendent is in to see Catherine, and it’s the hot guy that was such a useless dick 18 months ago. He wants her to take medical leave, she refuses but he’s heard about her funeral shenanigans and she will be forced into early retirement if she doesn’t see a psychologist. Hence above ^^^

Back to the terropist, he wants to know about Tommy Lee Royce. He wants to know why she went to the funeral and there’s a story about a peacock but the upshot is: she wants to know where he is. I feel that way about spiders.

He asks if she’s ever imagined killing him and DUH. But she didn’t! She had the opportunity and she didn’t kill him and she didn’t let him kill himself either. She’s a cop (and good person) first.

Joyce (Ishia Bennison) from the station asks Catherine out for dinner and drinks; on her, for a reason I can’t quite make out but will find out soon! It may have been to get her jubblies out, which would be AWESOME.

Oh er mah gerd. Another body has turned up and it’s Vicky and that’s why she wasn’t found during the fire investigation. For the love of all that is holy, I will not be able to get the image of John walking towards her dead body with a smashed bottle in hand.

Errroeree John has to come for the post mortem.

He runs into Ann outside, who’s heard about the body and seeing how rattled he is, asks if he’s okay. He’s not okay, turns out his wife has ALSO been having an affair and he walked in on them the same night he murdered and mutilated his own mistress. He left that last part out but sops up her sympathy for the former.

Ahhhhererrrrr and then he asks her out for a drink. Wow. He rebounds FAST. I guess she must be into fixer-uppers, because she agrees, although that absolutely strains credulity. Although, there has been a whiff between them, he’s just so ineffectual that all I can surmise that she’s using him as a case study.

I must apologize: I did not watch the post mortem. I did listen, there was all kinds of flashing back and a review of all the trauma we saw last time, with the added bonus of the smashed bottle. That was not allowed in my melon, sorry about that.

At our first round of drinks, Joyce and Catherine are having much wine and discussing her therapy. She’s not exactly lying…hey! Michael Jackson is playing tonight! He’s well…you know. But two weeks ago was Robbie Williams who was…okay. And then Elvis…well. Anyway

Catherine and Joyce leave and Joyce asks if she’s alibied herself yet? She’s gonna help round up info from her colleagues, but Catherine’s paranoia takes over and she jumps down Joyce’s throat. Our Catherine shared a lot of stuff about wanting to kill Tommy (which she only didn’t do because he so clearly wanted it) and she’s worried. Joyce may now be on the other side of Catherine and that is not a good place to be.

There’s all kinds of talking at the post mortem, from what I could tell, they don’t think she fits the same profile as the other victims, she’s had bridge work and that clearly means she isn’t a prostitute.

Daniel is pouting on the couch when Catherine gets home, Daisy’s filed for divorce. He’s also mad that Ilinka and Winnie are visiting with Clare and Neil, it’s a clown car of a house!

They know about the body, but mostly Ilinka is there because the guy Catherine tazered in the wobbly bits, Goran Dragovich (total guess), has been let out on bail.

Catherine tries to reassure her, it just means someone’s willing to pay his bail, he doesn’t know where she is or anything, when Winnie tells Catherine the real problem: Ilinka wants to go back to work at the Biscuit Factory (again, NOT a brothel if anyone was confused about that. Ahem). Which means: they WILL know where she is, even if it is a legitimate business and all.

Clare and Catherine are making up, Clare’s pretty fragile and it’s difficult to process everything going on. She tells Catherine that Neil is afraid of her and all our attenaes are up now. It’s really just one sort of person that is usually afraid of her.

And I told you kiddos pick up on everything! Ryan has told Clare about the strange questioning by Miss Weiland, only the fact that he didn’t mention the queries about granny saved her from being found out already. Clare will see into it next week.

Speaking off, the mousy Miss Weiland/Drummod is on her way to see Tommy. She has a ring on her finger and a cross ’round her neck and I can’t tell which is more important, but given the loving camera hover, it’s one or both.

At John’s house, his wife is suddenly the cranky pants, and these kiddos get it from both ends, don’t they? He’s telling her to move out, calling her a whore and a slag and side note: I HATE it when people use “whore” as a pejorative. Anyway, it’s a bit rich coming from him, already setting up drinks with the next slapper (sorry, don’t know what that means, but it sounds fun to say!) and she quite rightly says he doesn’t even know the kids, but to yell at them about their cereal abuse. I think it’s worth pointing out this is exactly what Marital Inertia looks like: two miserable people, each cheating with other people and ignoring the kids, but nary a thought of leaving passing between them. They’re both fighting to stay in the home, but only his wife is angry. It’s as though she knows he’s been at it too, but wasn’t caught yet.

Catherine apologizes to Joyce with a small cactus, which is genius, and leads to the discovery that she has a nickname! Joyce won’t spill, but she will look into those dates for Catherine. There’s been a body found by a nun, and due to short staffing, Catherine is off on the case.

As these things go both ways, Ryan’s been talking more than he lets on and Frances is creepily recounting every single word she gleaned from Ryan about his dad to Tommy. I SERIOUSLY hate watching her talk. She stares at the inside of his nose the whole time and dat voice….

Ahhhh Tommy is laying all his troubles at Lewis’s door, he didn’t do any of it (he totally did, we saw) and Frances HAS to keep Ryan’s good ideas of his dad alive. He sets her up against Catherine, saying she needs to be “put out of her misery” and that it’s not enough to just have Ryan pulled out of the home…ick. She has a definite Manson Girl vibe

Side note: have you seen the commercials for the new dramatization of the Manson girls? All sexualized and so.angry.making

Ann asks Catherine if it’s ethical if she goes on a date with a sergeant? Yeah he’s married, but maybe not for long and yeah, he’s old but not QUITE as old as her dad and explain to me again about how this guy has game?

She asks Ann about her nickname: does she have one? One or two apparently and she works at Ann: she’s not worried, she’s delighted! They’re at the suspected suicide by now, Catherine explaining investigative techniques along the way and calling CID “love”, she really wants to know these nicknames.

The dead man hanging from the tree looks a bit like the man Catherine tazed, but then I really only remember his…jeans. Catherine even invokes Tommy Lee Royce to find out the nicknames and wow. And it IS the guy she tazered! Goran Dragovic, and Ilinka doesn’t have to worry any more about THAT particular menace. Just whoever topped him.

They do the spousal notification, his wife barely speaks English and has a very young baby.

Ann gives John and Jody a super inappropriate description of the “fascinating” dead body she saw; I had never heard that men sometimes have an erection when they die by hanging but Ann thought that was just amazing and is that normal…? I’m starting to think there is something wrong with Ann. She lacks basic empathy. However, she was recently through hell, and it’s impossible to discount the affect that could have. I’ve half an eye on her, though.

She’s checking on their date for later, but also wants to see their Murder Boards, which are apparently Murder Flip Books there and through one thing and another, manages to put together that the 4th serial victim is actually Vicky of the burned out flat. John tries to muddy the waters, but Jody snatches it up.

Joyce has found Catherine her alibi; it’s her. They went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show and that was it! Woot, off the books.

Catherine arrives home to a nervous Clare; it’s maddening when people stick up for and cover for their partners as though they were children “you won’t upset him, will you? And Daniel won’t be weird, will he?” I mean.

Catherine goes literally 6 feet to tell Winnie and Ilinka that they don’t have to worry any more, Goran has committed suicide but Ilinka thinks where I immediately went with: the Knezevics are cleaning up loose ends.

John just about drives off the road when he gets the news that Vicky has absolutely been identified for sure as the DB, well he almost drives into someone else anyway, and it must be England, because even in Canada situations like that don’t end in “are you okay, Love? Just checking!” He sits in his car and stares while Ann finishes a bottle of wine solo in the pub.

So. There is every chance that John will be caught, I don’t know what he was thinking. Even if he does manage to have gotten rid of DNA evidence with the fire, he’s been seen with her. And it’s just so unlikely that he got ALL the evidence. I’m worried for Ann again, but also worried about her as well. And what could the unflattering, wouldn’t-give-to-yourself-nicknames be?? It’s probably the sort of thing ALL women in authority hear about themselves, ten bucks says we can look up the same name on any.Hilary.Clinton.article.ever. And we oot!