Lucifer is a new show debuting on Fox on 25th January.  Loosely based on a character from my beloved Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman comics, he also has his own spin-off comic published by DC Comics! Basic premise, Lucifer is bored in hell, resigns his thrones and heads for Los Angeles, where he works assisting the LAPD.  I know, I know, but let’s just see where it goes okay?  Okay, spoilers ahead.

So Lucifer (Tom Ellis), as you will probably know, was cast down from heaven and condemned to rule hell forever. Well Lucifer is bored. Over it. He’s in Los Angeles, running a smutty nightclub called Lux. We meet Lucifer cruising along in his black sports car, when he gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. Upon asking for his licence and registration, Lucifer responds by taking out a big wad of money and offering the officer a bribe. The officer refuses, but Lucifer, it seems, has a very special skill set. The ability to get you to tell him your greatest desires and sins. The officer admits that he sometimes puts the siren on just so he can drive real fast, and really is tempted to take the bribe. Lucifer persuades him that it is what he really wants, and the officer lets him be on his way. This might be the time to mention that Lucifer has a wicked British accent, and I’m pretty sure I’d be a puddle on the floor before he even asked me anything.

Lucifer arrives at Lux, and greets his bartender Maze, who has apparently accompanied him on his trip up from hell. She tells him he is playing too nice and needs to do something significant whilst on Earth. Time slows, and the angel Amenadiel (D.B.Woodside) enters. He’s here to deliver the message that Dad wants him back in hell asap, and is running out of patience. Amenadiel asks him to consider what is happening in hell in his absence, and what the other demons are up to without a big boss. Lucifer shakes him off and tells him to hit the road, Jack.

Lucifer heads outside the club and meets Delilah (AnnaLyne McCord, ugh), a singer and well known celeb. She looks a mess and he takes her inside the club for a drink and chat. After telling Lucifer she feels as if she has sold her sold to the devil and been led astray, he names her his price for her soul. She needs to clean up her act, and sort her self out.  Does Lucifer really care that much for a mere mortal? Or is he just keeping her in his pocket in case he needs her later?

They leave the club and Lucifer bids her farewell. Before she can leave, a car rounds the corner and bullets are sprayed at Lucifer and Delilah. Delilah takes the brunt of the attack and lies dead on the pavement. Phew, five minutes of Annalyne McCord is about as much as I can handle. The car speeds off but is collected by a bus and ends up crashing at high speed into oncoming traffic. Lucifer is not hurt and approaches the car, and find the shooter dying in the back seat.  He threatens him and tries to find out why he shot Delilah. Why else? Money. The shooter says he just pulled the trigger, rolls his eyes back in his head and dies. Lucky you’re dead dude, Lucifer is pissed and could have arranged some lovely things for you in hell.

Detectives arrive and begin to inspect the vehicle and the bodies. Detective Chloe Dancer (Lauren German) is the lead, her partner Dan tries to persuade her that this is an open and shut case and not to make waves. They allude to a former case that seems to have gone bad for Chloe. Dan points out the money and the drugs at the scene, but Chloe points out the very expensive watch the shooter is wearing and is not convinced. Chloe goes to Lux to interview Lucifer as a witness. He tells her his name, Lucifer Morningstar.

He explains that Delilah used to work for him and tells her he already interrogated the shooter just before he died. Like to play cop, do ya? No I just like to play in general, Detective. What about you? Oh, you sexy minx, Lucifer. Chloe runs through the drugs and money theory, and Lucifer is not buying it. She asks him how he escaped without a scratch? Why immortality of course! He ask if finding out what happened and punishing the person responsible is as much a priority for her as it is him. Chloe says, you got some balls on you, pal. Lucifer responds with Oh thank you very much!  But they’re really quite average, lol. Cheeky bugger. He then swears he has seen her before, have they met? Chloe says no, and Lucifer says I could swear I’ve seen you naked. Have we had sex? We’re done here, and Chloe is oot.

Down the coast, we’re at the wedding of Delilah’s ex boyfriend and producer, Jimmy Barnes (John Pankow) and his new model fiance. Lucifer stops the wedding and the priest seemingly recognising him for what he is, does the bolt. Lucifer begins his schmexy eye trick and tries to get Jimmy to confess that he was involved in Delilah’s death. Jimmy was not involved but gives up a rapper called, now don’t quote me on this, Two Vials. Delilah dumped Jimmy for him, and they had a volatile relationship. Lucifer turns to the bride and introduces himself, she comes right out with, I really don’t want to have sex with him tonight. Oh come on, says Lucifer, we all know you’re not marrying this human stain because you’re in love with him right?  Oh God, no she says to the delight of the guests. Lucifer, decides now would be a great time to hit the road and wishes them the best of luck, alright?

Lucifer talks his way into Two Vials house, and finds him decidedly not grieving over the death of Delilah.  Will someone please turn down this godawful music, Lucifer shouts. Two Vials says what, you don’t like hip hop? No, I most certainly do not says Lucifer.  You have a problem with black people? No, not in the slightest says Lucifer, I just hate your music.  And when I say your music, I mean YOUR music, not music made by other black people.  Without the blues, there would be no devil’s music ever. Preach, Lucifer.  Guns are drawn and Lucifer tells them not to waste bullets, he’s immortal. Tell me about Delilah, he asks Two Vials.  Haven’t you seen the news? Bitch is dead. Ruh roh.

There goes Two Vials through the glass window and hanging from his giant chain over the balcony.  Lucifer dangles him there and Two Vials says he didn’t kill her, he loved her.  He found out Delilah was cheating on him, but doesn’t know who with. She has a therapist called Linda from Beverly Hills that she saw five times a week that might know. Lucifer pulls him up and goes to leave to track down the therapist. But hold up! Here’s Chloe following her own lead to Two Vials.  Two Vials had called the dead shooter, Eddie, two days before. Two Vials says it was just a drug hookup and if she wants to drag everyone on Eddie’s phone to the station it’d be half of Hollywood.  Like the Oscars or something. One of Two Vials crew goes, wait a minute, ain’t you that chick from that film, to Chloe. Lucifer then tells her that there is no reason to arrest Two Vials, he has already threatened his life and got the information they need. Chloe cracks it and arrests and cuffs Lucifer.  Oooh, Lucifer likes the cuffs!

They get out to the car and Lucifer has already got the cuffs off. Chloe asks what his deal is and he tells her that he is the real Lucifer and tries his deepest desires trick to convince her. She plays along and then reveals that his powers haven’t worked. Lucifer is momentarily thrown, and Chloe asks him why he cares so much about Delilah. He tells her it’s that he feels guilty, and Chloe grudgingly agrees that he can ride along while she checks out some leads. Chloe gets a confirmation on the therapist’s address and they begin to head to her office. Chloe gets another call, and it’s her daughter’s school, asking her to come and pick her up as she’s been in a fight.

They get to the school and Chloe tells him to wait in the car.  With pleasure, says Lucifer, I despise children. Chloe heads in and Lucifer gets out of the car for a smoke, can they never stay in the motherflipping car? He spots an attractive woman heading into the school, and decides that maybe he could handle a school full of children, just this once. He follows her in, but loses her and takes a seat beside a little girl on a bench outside the office. It’s Beatrix, Chloe’s daughter. Everybody calls me Trixie she says, that’s a hooker’s name says Lucifer. What’s a hooker? Errr, ask your mother. Lucifer asks why she was fighting and Trixie points out her much bigger, older bully sitting across the hall. He gets up and tells her that there’s a special section of hell reserved for bullies. And shows her these lovely eyes. Eeeeek!

Chloe finds them and drags them both out of school towards the car. They meet Detective Dan (I so want to call him Lieutenant Dan), who is apparently Chloe’s ex and Trixie’s dad. He and Chloe argue about him being late and then the case, while Trixie puts her fingers in her ears. Lucifer tells them both fighting in front of the child in unbecoming and tells Dan he’s a dimwit. Dan doesn’t know whether to laugh or shoot him, surprise me says Lucifer! Dan takes Trixie home and Chloe and Lucifer hit the road for the therapists office. In the waiting room, Lucifer asks Chloe if her offspring was planned or a mistake? Planned, she says, sort of. Lucifer says he has never understood the desire to procreate, see below.  Werd, Lucifer.

Lucifer tries to make Chloe tell him why Dan is trying to convince her to close the case, but once again she is impervious to his attempts. Did my father send you, he asks? Dr Martin lets them in to her office and they begin to ask her about Delilah and who she might have been seeing. Dr Martin can’t look away from Lucifer however, and he warns her that he’s like heroin, very habit forming and hard to walk away from. Chloe is bewildered by what is going on and asks if they know each other. He says no, women just look at him that way, but not you, Chloe. She says no I find you repulsive on a chemical level, fascinating he replies! Lucifer decides to show Chloe his power, and seduces Dr Martin into telling them who Delilah was seeing, in return for a trip to pound town later.  His words, not mine.

She tells them it’s Gray Cooper, the famous actor, the one married to Amanda Whatsherchops, as Lucifer puts it  Oh no! Says Lucifer, he’s horrible, so square jawed, so handsome, so vanilla! I’m quite disappointed in Delilah. Chloe gets up to leave, but Lucifer stops her saying no, I made a deal if you wouldn’t mind waiting outside. She convinces him to take a rain check, and they head off in search of Gray Cooper.

They find him shooting a scene in downtown LA, and Lucifer begins to question him.  Gray’s wife rolls up just as they are talking about Delilah, and Chloe notices that Gray is wearing a watch just like Eddie, the shooter’s. She asks where he got it, and he responds it was a gift from Delilah when they filmed a movie together.  Lucifer gets him to admit he was sleeping with her, but Amanda is not surprised, in fact she has been sleeping with Bobby, Gray’s bodyguard. They all fight, and Chloe arrests them and drags them all off, thinking one of them has got to be guilty.

Back at Lux, Chloe and Lucifer are sharing a drink at the bar, after finding out that Gray and Amanda have no connection to Eddie the shooter.  Back to square one. They try and work out what meaning the watches have, whether they were a go to gift from Delilah.  But giving Eddie a watch just does not fit. A news report comes on the television above the bar about Delilah’s album sales going through the roof after her death. Light bulb moment! Delilah didn’t give that watch to the Eddie, she gave it to Jimmy Barnes her ex lover/producer, and he was the one who gave it to Eddie as payment for the hit. As producer, he’s the one who benefits from the new royalties coming in from Delilah’s album sales.

At Jimmy’s studio he is producing an album for a band, when Chloe and Lucifer arrive. They confront him, and he takes a wee boy bander hostage with a gun.  Jimmy admits it was him, that she humiliated him and she owed him. Lucifer says you didn’t make her Jimmy, but you did destroy her, and now I’m going to punish you.  He heads towards Jimmy, and it’s fine Chloe, he’s immortal! Jimmy goes to shoot Lucifer, but Chloe fires first taking Jimmy down. Why did you do that? You just let him off too easy, Lucifer yells, he needs to pay, he needs to suffer. Don’t worry, says Chloe, I’m sure where he is going, the pain is coming.  No, Lucifer says, because I’m here and – bang! Jimmy’s not dead, and now he’s shot Chloe twice!

She’s on the floor and tells Lucifer that she doesn’t want to die.  I won’t let you, he replies, Father will just have to wait for you. Jimmy is still kicking, and shoots Lucifer in the back.  He looks at Chloe, just give me one second, he rises and approaches Jimmy who is still shooting him.  Lucifer just walks on and scruffs him by the neck and throws him into a wall.  Chloe watches in disbelief from the floor, and passes out as Lucifer shows Jimmy his true self in the mirror and we hear Jimmy scream.

Chloe wakes in hospital to find Lucifer at her bedside.  How long was I out, she asks.  He sighs and says, three years. Then chuckles, oh you, Lucifer. You’re such an ass, Chloe says. She asks how he is not dead, and Lucifer replies, you are having a very hard time with the immortal thing aren’t you.  Dan and Trixie arrive, and Lucifer says, look I’d stay for the family reunion but it’s giving me terrible IBS, toodles!

Back at the club once more, and whoops! There goes time again. Amenadiel is back wearing a wicked smaht robe, he says I’ve been watching you Lucifer.  Perv, he replies! Now Amenadiel is worried that Lucifer is being too nice, upsetting the balance between the dark and the light. He threatens Lucifer with war, and Lucifer tells him he is seriously looking forward to eating his heart one day, k bai!

We end with Lucifer back at Dr Martin’s office, ready to fulfill his end of the deal, so to speak. As long as she listens to a few of the existential dilemmas he is having. Pound town here we come! Yep, I just typed that.

So. Lucifer himself is charming, wicked and very good with the old one liner. Tom Ellis, who plays Lucifer, is a great actor, he was marvelous as Gary on the British show Miranda, and has the right amount of sexy and malice to pull of the role as the devil himself. Chloe is a bit of a cliche, but also shows a few glimpses of humour, and they have an interesting rapport. Lauren German, who plays Chloe, was also terrific in Chicago Fire, and maybe if she backs off the tough cop speak a bit, she would be a bit more believable.

The rest of the cast are all bit players for now, from what I have read the show really picks up from about the fifth episode and I am intrigued and entertained enough to see it through at least that far. Sure it’s a police procedural at heart, but there is enough theology and wit in there to makes things a bit more interesting than most shows of the genre.

Also props on the tunes throughout, Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked (Cage The Elephant), Fame (David Bowie), Howlin’ For You (The Black Keys) and Devil’s Haircut (Beck) just to name a few.