We’re almost done season one of Mr. Robot, I’m already feeling clingy to what I have left.

Laat week the gang had just got their meet with White Rose of the Dark Army, Swedish Psycho was LOSING it; Sharon paid the price and Elliot was finally talking real shizznit to Dr. Krista.

Huh. We open with Darlene’s bum; she’s staring out at the skyscrapers while what looks like a bearded investment banker cuddles her. She proselytizes about a financial revolution while he stares at his phone and warns about politics messing with his buzz. She wants the world left to take care of itself, he think that’s why he gets paid so much. He calls her a cockroach, okay, consummate survivor, but we totes know what that means.

She tosses his place until she finds his safe, figures out his password and just like that: she has a gun. And knows Angela. WTF?? Did we know this? They’re in a ballet class together and they’re FRIENDS and have been for years. Whut?? I feel like I would have known if we were supposed to know that.

Elliot is talking about Dr. Krista, and oh! Her last name is Gordon, so she was Dr. Gordon all along. But she’s in the CD graveyard now too, as Talking Heads “Speaking in Tongues” and that is too perfect.

He meets with Mr. Robot; confirming that the whole gang is back. Where there were formerly Suited Men staring at Elliot on the subway, now there are Asian men ogling Darlene and saying things like “tell him to follow the proper commands. If he doesn’t, the sequence won’t initiate” while leaning over her. RANDom

Elliot is explaining the plan; it has to do with the thermostats company, AirDream, using just one network and as he’s laying it out for everyone, he gets a text from Lloyd saying that AllSafe has been hacked. Side note: I originally typed AllSafe with two “s” in the beginning and you have no idea how hard it was to fix that typo. ANYWAY! As Elliot is leaving, Darlene tries to give him the purloined pistol and grabs his phone to call herself so they have each other’s contact information. Why would she do that?? That’s exactly against fsociety’s ONLY rule. She figures they need to protect Elliot more than they collectively need to protect fsociety; Mr.Robot hears and I wonder if she’ll be pushed off a railing soon? Mr. Robot only asks Elliot to remove the number, he doesn’t say anything to Darlene, who inexplicably hugs Elliot and then hides the gun in popcorn (?). Darlene and Mr. Robot both said that the Dark Army only want to meet with Elliot, that was why the gun, and Mr. Robot’s jumpiness. Hmmm

Tyrell. Well, it’s just a matter of time for Tyrell. He is NOT holding it together well. Gideon from AllSafe is there and explains what is going to happen with Angela confessing to breaking chain of custody and runs through the new security measures. There are now a bunch of incomprehensible things in place, including a honeypot, which stops Tyrell mid-sentence. I’m guessing it’s not the 70s bombshell (yeahhhhhh, none of those pics were SFW) but a trap set on server CS30 that Elliot was messing with that had the root reconfigured for. I don’t know if what I said is understandable or even real words that go together, sorry. While Gideon’s selling this safety, Lloyd is frantically texting him about the entire network being down so…

Tyrell is revitalized and jumps on his computer to check out server CS30 personally; he is banging away when his administrative assistant comes in to tell him the police are there…they’ve found a body. They want to speak to everyone and Tyrell tells her to make them set an appointment; he’s heading to the server farm.

Gideon is freaking out about the AllSafe hack but Elliot isn’t impressed; he thinks it’s a distraction. Ollie comes over and tells him he has to immediately bring some crypted drives somewhere. I don’t understand: Elliot is the best reverse-hack engineer they have; why would Ollie be sending him off to do a mailroom clerk’s job? And since when does Elliot work for stupid old “sure I’ll put a random CD in my computer” Ollie? Ah. Sweaty Ollie outranks Elliot and this has to be the meeting with White Rose, that’s why Ollie is so nervous and desperate about Elliot being on time. He hacks into Ollie’s email and ohhhhhh Elliot doesn’t know about Angela lying about the DAT file and Terry Colby. I do not understand

Tyrell is at home with his wife, who doesn’t understand why he’s so antsy about Sharon. Ohhhh because he didn’t tell her he killed her. This is EXACTLY how couples end up on the How To Kill Your Wife Channel (Investigation Discovery); lack of disclosure about finances and killing other people.

I knew Joanna was going to be mad, she’s already angry Tyrell isn’t doing things exactly as planned and I’m guessing that’s why Tyrell didn’t tell her that he didn’t just photograph him and Sharon having sex to disgrace Scott Knowles and force him to resign, but instead choked her to death in a fit of rage. She warns him not to “unravel now” and um. Also: I’m having trouble wrapping my brain around her being the submissive in their sex life. She does not seem even a little sub, but I may be thinking too literally.

Elliot has tracked down Angela; he’s pissed that she never told him that she was a victim of a hacking scam; and I kind of get that: that is what he DOES. Not much for conversation at parties, but he can hack like a motherhumper. She explains and he starts to put it all together: I wonder if he’s noticed that fsociety keeps fcuking with the people he loves? It better be one heck of a super cool revolution.

I think there’s forever rift between he and Angela now; maybe his “family” has been replaced by fsociety after all. It’s not just the hacker and hackee distance, or the ability to look over the wall, as Elliot says, they just don’t seem to know each other any more and their chemistry is GAWN.

Now the White Rose meeting: in a special environment completely cut off from electrical interference and in walks a woman. Um. Okay, hold on now. In walks. Izzat?? Izzat B.D. Wong (whom I ADORE!!) dressed as a woman: transgender?? His voice is very high. She looks like an Asian Shirley MacLaine, amirite?

White Rose knows about the honeypot, though, and Elliot does not, which bewilders WR and I. Elliot has 50 hours and 23 minutes, that is the deadline White Rose has set; at that point the hack will be initiated if all parties are ready. This White Rose is compelling and what Elliot says “we’re all living in each other’s paranoia” true THAT.

He needs Gideon’s phone and he does some trippy mind-time flipping and figures it out. First he drains Gideon’s battery and then a fsociety video distracts everyone and HURRY UP ELLIOT!!!! Gideon notices that Elliot wasn’t there and he’s no dummy, he knows that everything bad is happening around Elliot. He gets dragged away by a call from EvilCorp but Elliot knows his time is up. He got the hack done in time, but his previous lookarounds in Gideon’s life has revealed a good, honest man and he just doesn’t want to mess him or AllSafe up any more.

Tyrell is meeting with Mr. Robot, and says they should be allies but is blown off, until Tyrell threatens to reveal what? Reveal WHAT about Mr. Robot? What’s going on?? All these wrinkles this episode are making me wonder if I am missing shittonnes.

Tyrell comes home swigging tidy Swedish vodka by the bottle, Joanna had been planning to congratulate him on the gala being cancelled, but he starts telling her a story about a mousy little tech and his small act of revenge that was actually something beautiful and grand. He’s clearly lost it.

The doorbell rings: it’s the police. They tell the Wellicks about Sharon’s murder and now I’m tense, given what I read in a small snippet last week. JFC and it’s true. Okay. Joanna is several months pregnant, yes? And she just caused her water to break by stabbing her uterus with a small cornichon fork so that a clearly distraught Tyrell didn’t mess up this important police interview.

Darlene and Elliot meet and pre-celebrate and they’re on the railing and if Elliot isn’t nervous, why isn’t he??? He’s spending too much time looking at her mouth and she says she loves him so much but I guess she didn’t mean it like THAT, because she freaks out when he kisses her. I read that wrong too, Elliot, if that helps. She asks if he forgot again who she is…and I guess we all did? AHHHHHHHH SHE’S HIS SISTER???????? Eeerghhhhhhh

AHHHDHKSVKFDNKLDFNKLFDNLKVDFNLKVSDFNKLDASNKJSDNBVKSF

So that’s how she knows Angela. YES ELLIOT I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW

He hacks himself and he doesn’t exist and I just don’t UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. He finds a blank cd and figures it’s him and it’s full of pictures of Mr. Robot and fcuk. That’s his dad. Dad’s at the door and he thinks they should talk

I need a drink and an Ambien, ScriptKiddies; I shoulda asked Sam Esmail to glove up before he messed with my head like that. Deuces.