Hi. Is Mrs. Fletcher gonna Mrs. Robinson Julian or what? Let’s find out in S1:E06 Solar Glow after the break!
Omigod, somebody hold me, Eve Fletcher (Kathryn Hahn) is actually talking with her SON for the first time since he left for college. Brendan Fletcher (Jackson White) even fired up the old videochat for his mom, who’s unfortunately distracted by sexy texts from the kid Brendan used to bully. Hai Julian! (Owen Teague, but the young one, not the one from Game of Thrones), whatcha doon trynna snake Brendan’s mom? Well. I guess you are in the same Personal Essay class and you’re technically old enough to vote, if not drink.
Eve sings along with the song lyrics she knows (Kathryn Hahn is so cute), arriving home to find her best friend Jane Rosen (Casey Wilson) crying on her porch. Last we saw Jane she was planning a romantic getaway with her now-maybe-soon-to-be-ex-husband. Seems said husband had not been thirsting it out with Jane in their year long dry spell and instead was getting his oil changed at the Solar Glow massage parlour.
So. Wait. Was this a body-sage situation with happy endings or did he fall in love with someone? This feels important.
*Quick note about body-sage, I used to live in Vancouver where I found out there were two very different types of massage available in town. One was therapeutic massage, performed by licensed massage therapists and available in beige storefronts all over the city and ‘burbs. The other was advertised as body-sage and no such licensing was required or available, just extra-legal sex work. I lived behind one!
Jane’ll be staying with Eve for the near future, which might impact her getting all MILF-rageous with Julian as I have ten Canadian dollars that says he still lives at home.
Brendan’s been dating Chloe (Jasmine Cephas Jones!!) of the Autism Family Support Group, which has made him slightly more human. Slightly. Not quite enough to agree to go to a Queer Allies party, though. A bro has his limits. He hasn’t quite decided what he’s doing with Chloe yet.
Eve heads to Jane’s house to pick up some things for Jane, whose ex Dave (Michael Torpey, one of the psychopathic guards from OITNB) would like to get his side of the story out, fanks.
Doesn’t he understand that lines are immediately drawn and Jane has already claimed Eve for her side?
Apparently not, because he also wants to talk about not having sex for a year. People need touch. I agree. Ahhhh and he paid for it, so it was body-sage and not an affair with a particular person he fell in love with. Whew. Eve and Jane do not share my relief, but Eve would like to know exactly how one procures such services…
Brendan is actually doing schoolwork! Like with words and stuff! I’m so proud of him! This is the low bar I have set for him and he has risen almost to the top of it. He works late into the night but all I can see that he’s finished is 5 Red Bull drinks and 3 bags of chips.
Eve’s trying to sleep but Julian keeps texting and just as I’m thinking: he’s going to ask what she’s wearing, he asks what she’s wearing. I gather this is not a question to be answered literally, because nobody is impressed with flannel shorts and a work tshirt from 2006. APPARENTLY. I forget, this is the instant camera age, so she attempts a selfie a bunch of times then sends him a “GO TO BED” instead.
Selfies are hard!
She wakes up to a request for a date after class and maybe that’s why she dresses up a little. Or perhaps that’s for the sex worker at Solar Glow, where she heads after a chat with Jane. Jane’s husband called and wants to go for dinner. He wants to be forgiven. Jane’s not sure she’s ready for that, but Eve’s all in for some body-sage and that’s where she heads next!
In her imagination, anyway, but surely they have escorts wherever she is, yes?
We cut to Julian working away in a pharmacy checking his phone and being flirted with by age-appropriate co-worker Ashley (Zoe Bullock), hmmm.
Eve watches a barbershop quartet sing at the Senior Center and queues up a text to Julian about it, to be cockblocked by coworker Amanda Olney (Katie Kershaw) who Eve made a pass at the other night. She sends the text anyway, just as Ashley asks Julian out. This is what finding out your crush has a different crush looks like.
(I just really like her face)
Eve was totally dressing up for Julian, look at her measuring the amount of *awesome* bra showing in the mirror.
Amanda’s kind of skulking around acting like she knows something about Eve and I don’t like it.
Eve pounds a drink before class and drinks with Julian, running into George (Domenick Lombardozzi) who has come with hat in hand and an apology. He was very angry with her for how she treated his dad (she had to have his dad removed from the Senior Center for some uncontrolled sexual behaviour), screaming at her that she was a pervert but now he’s calmed down and feels bad. He also thinks she looks good, this is a great clingy knit dress! Awesome around the cute bra area.
Chloe and Brendan are gonna have a study date in her room, awww! He dressed up and brought drinks and everything! Again, extremely low bar for Brendan. He didn’t say anything sexist in the thirty seconds they’ve been together, yay Brendan!
The Personal Essay class is about everything but the personal essay being read by Barry (Josh Pais) about how Linda’s beautiful body saved his life (who’s Linda? We don’t know or care). Teacher Margo Fairchild (Jen Richards) shares glances with new boo Curtis (Rashad Demond Edwards aka Ifádansi Rashad) while Eve and Julian try very hard not to look at each other directly.
The essay before everyone is to talk about a decision they consciously made that changed the course of their life and I know exactly what mine is! Woooooo!! But they don’t and Margo’s having trouble getting the concept across.
Brendan and Chloe manage to study for thirty whole more seconds before making out, I am just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best for her. She seems to be into it, I guess there’s no accounting for chemistry. Ah. But. He’s having trouble with erm, the logistics of it, maybe because he’s not used to treating women like people? He certainly hasn’t been conditioned to do so. She can help!
Eve and Julian talk in the van outside school. He is completely infatuated with her but she
WAIT. I just thought of something my friend Old Ain’t Dead said on Twitter. She liked really feminine men back when she liked men and Julian is truly beautiful, as Eve calls him. Interesting.
Anyway! She says she can’t and they adjourn for the evening, with him running away upset and frustrated. He’s more thinking he loves her and she’s a squirrel, trying to get a nut.
Across town, Chloe is “helping” Brendan with his “problem” but his porn patois is doing exactly nothing for her, thanks. She stops, then starts again, unsure, but now he’s more aggressive, holding her in place and choking her. He’s so lost in this and his derogatory language that he can’t feel her trying to get away (or maybe he can and that’s part of what he likes) so she has to punch him in the balls to get free. She throws him out. “You didn’t even know I was there!”
To Brendan, sex is an act to be performed ON someone or TO someone, not something to be shared. I don’t think he knew he was doing that.
Eve stakes out the Solar Glow massage parlour, will she go in? Will Julian text her again? Jane and Dave followed their dinner up with sleeping together, but Jane doesn’t look sure. A chastised Brendan slinks back to his dorm room and we’re out. Until next time!