This is the first season finale of Paranoid, how is everyone liking the show so far? The feedback I’m getting from various peeps is “meeeeh – I’ll see how it turns out” so this one better be good, Paranoid! Rolling S1:E8 after the break

Nina (Indira Varma) is excitedly explaining everything she learned from Catelyn Graece (Rebecca Callard) about the trials and the homicidal bus driver, but Linda Felber (Christiane Paul) isn’t feeling quite as celebratory. She looks nauseated. She was on that call, she saw what happened to all those kids on that bus. She saw the driver’s severed head.

Nina learns this when she pulls up news reports from that time period; there is Linda giving interviews and talking about Arne Durnst and his driving record and searching his house.

Linda’s reliving it too, her partner Walti (Dominic Tiefenthaler) wants to know what’s going on? Linda calls it the “Mirror at the end of the Road” which is what Nick Waingrow mentioned when he was warning her off.

Dr. Crowley (Michael Maloney) is the focus of the police’s investigation and Michael Niles (Neil Stuke) is trying to whip everyone into a Finding Crowley mood. Bobby (Robert Glenister) is still coming down off his legally prescribed meds, so I don’t know how much good he’ll be.

Henry Appley (William Ash) has Dr. Crowley anyway, and he isn’t planning to be found any time soon. He didn’t gag the doctor, though, which means his mouth is still in play and that was really Crowley’s best weapon anyway.

Nina can’t believe Linda Felber didn’t mention that she was the investigating officer on the Arne Durnst bus crash, Alec (Dino Fetscher) chalks it up to stress but Bobby is more strenuous. Of course nothing is wrong: it’s Felber! It’s worth mentioning that he’s a sweaty mess at this point, vibrating away on his chair under the influence of many, many pharmaceuticals.

Felber and Merian are in Nick Waingrow (Danny Huston)’s office, asking why there is no documentation on Arne Durnst? Ah, why not ask the investigating officers? Which means that his comment about her not liking what she finds out was very much pointed specifically in her direction.

Did they not find no medication in Arne’s blood? Then what does that mean, he asks Felber? Was she wrong then or is she wrong now? Who is this Catelyn Graece? Did you check her out fully? They leave with Felber resolving to do what she couldn’t before.

Bobby’s gone to see Lucy (Lesley Sharpe) to find Crowley, but he’s gone back to being a rude arsehole who doesn’t have actual conversations with a woman he’s been “dating”, but rather just barks out questions. She’s not a fan. Quaker Sex Bombs like to live in the present.

She talks him into some loving care and then suggests some Loving Care of the carnal variety, she has one question for you, Bobby: why not?

He kisses her on the forehead, then they segue into talking about pop music. IT’S ALL A LIE, BOBBY, I’M WITH YOU. He’s using that instead of stepping down his meds gradually, good lord, Bobby. Oh gross, Lucy says “you, Bobby, are ready to be deliciously converted to love” and I actually snarled. That was a terrible line, whoever wrote this. I felt all herky and everything.

Bobby fends Lucy off long enough to head to Crowley’s house, where they’ve figured out that Henry’s made off with their main suspect. It looks like Henry’s gathered up all of Jacob’s medications and is pouring them out in front of the doctor, is he planning to make Crowley eat them all in revenge?

Felber explains her wooden aspect when talking to Nina earlier; she feels that she has to resign because she missed the drugs the first time through. She’s investigating herself, essentially, and the detectives can understand that. You always want to think you are thorough.

Megan (Anjili Mohindra) comes up at the crucial moment to hand them the location details of Henry Appley’s farm, she’s there to do exactly that, isn’t she?

Henry has a super tidy farm that the detectives have gone to; this is what’s been rent. Everyone has been affected, changed by these events.

Henry isn’t feeding all the pills to Crowley all at once, he’s just using them for motivators. Every time Crowley lies, Henry shoves a bunch down his throat and so on and so forth. Now give him the code to the secret phone

Nick’s explaining the classic way to cut up a whole chicken (sooo old school, Dad, complains Sadie. But useful after the apocalypse) when Henry’s call interrupts. He wants to know who Nick is and what THIS is.

Henry sets up a video camera, he wants Crowley’s confession on film. He wants to know why Crowley came to see his brother right before he died. Crowley makes a run for it but is caught in the hallway, it was so that he could get he keys to Jacob’s apartment. He’s still trying to pretend that he had no idea Jacob was going to be a scapegoat and victim, which is…admirable, I guess? Or psychopathic, that much dedication to a complete farce. Like a certain election that just happened. Crowley does manage to arm himself with a fork.

Ah! Merian has dug up the information Felber badly needed to hear; the toxicologist that cleared Arne Durnst’s blood for meds went to work for Rustin-Wade right after, so she didn’t mess up, there was a deliberate attempt to obfuscate. They have the address of the toxicologist, where they find him hanging in his living room. Murder or suicide? The timing suggests the former

Bobby’s want to work the porn angle; Crowley must be keeping a stash and they need to check his house again. Nina and Alec search the bedroom when he leaps across and kisses her.

I mean this in the best way, it still looked …motherly. Kinda. I dunno, maybe Alec’s just a weird kisser! He looked like he was trying to get sustenance from her face! Bobby’s found the pics! Plus Jacob’s medical files and a key to his flat.

We’ve got Rustin-Wade’s thug and the entire police force looking for Henry and Crowley, surely Megan will be able to excitedly run up with a piece of paper soon with the crucial information?

Felber is deep in thought, she thinks she can get new toxicology reports, but the real question is: what about all those other people that took the drugs? What about them?

Crowley’s confessing on camera as to how he got involved with Rustin-Wade, it wasn’t straight greed, no, it was a weakness of the flesh, who can’t understand that? (BARF) They found him at a conference with two women and they knew about other women and unfortunately, they were all clients, so.

Felber and Merian have had Arne’s stored blood tested, it comes back clean. Huh. Did the toxicologist switch the samples, then? See if it shows pregnancy!

Henry doesn’t want to play This Is Your Life with Crowley any more, he wants to know how Jacob got involved! They were looking for a psychopathic schizophrenic, see, and someone a bit spooky, so there was Jacob.

Bobby’s not doing well coming off his medication cold turkey, he has to wean himself. You can’t just cut those out, there are severe side effects. Instead of listening to Lucy, he takes something she says and runs off with it.

It seems Arne Durnst wasn’t the only tragedy that came out of the Mainline trials, several others became homicidal or suicidal, sometimes both. She wants to test all their blood, exhume Arne’s body and test HIS blood too.

Bobby’s figured out where Henry is just in time for Crowley to make his move forking Henry. Lots of running around in the dark and hey, Bobby left his phone at Lucy’s.

I know it’s a plot device to create a sense of urgency and it’s the finale and all, but the fact that we see Felber and Merian digging up Arne Durnst’s body that very night in the rain strains ANY CREDULITY PARANOID.

Alec and Nina are at Lucy’s, they walk her through her last conversation with Bobby and understand that clearly, he must have rushed off to Lowtree Hospital to find Henry.

Why is Bobby always the one running around being attacked in the dark? Surely Alec is a super limber young man?

Henry’s gotten his confession, that was all he wanted. He releases Dr. Crowley after letting him know that the pills were just cold and flu tablets from the pharmacy, he just wanted the truth, not to hurt anyone. Crowley turns and is shot squarely in the head by the Rustin-Wade thug who pepper-sprayed Bobby.

Henry gets shot too, but Bobby drops a filing cabinet down the stairs on the bastage just before the police show up. He grabs the confession tape.

Later, Nick’s freaking out with the company heads, the exhumations are not good news for them. Also not good news: Dr. Crowley named Nick in his confession. Felber can’t get there fast enough to arrest the Clean Up Guy, running up the stairs to his office and then skidding away at high speed. He’s taken a cab to rush home to attempt an explanation to his daughter before he’s picked up.

Felber accuses him of thinking he’s a god, kill or change anything rather than admit he might be wrong, horribly wrong. Then she CUDDLES HIS DAUGHTER and leads her back inside to call her mum.

We’re in the epilogue now, with Merian refusing to let Felber quit, Bobby chilling at a Quaker meeting and Alec asking Nina to give it a year to see if they can make it work. In fact, what he says is “what you have in front of you is a man who is willing to try” and I needed a minute to gain my equilibrium after ROLLING MY EYES SO HARD I HURT MYSELF. She teases him about his “organic” haircut (just like the first episode!) and then they make out some more.

Bobby’s finally got his boots on for a walk with Lucy and that’s it, we’re oot and this series is over. Well, this series of this series is over and what did you think?

I found the writing iffy at best and seriously off this last episode. It felt very much like Community Overacting Theatre more than once as well, so well, I might watch the next series but I might not. I love seeing Lesley Sharp and Indira Varma again, I would just love for them to not be spouting shite all the time either, you know? I ended up somewhat impressed with Dino Fetscher, he never really dropped his Shakespearian Boy Scout act with Oedipal issues and I appreciate the consistency. Cheers, everyone, thanks for reading along!