Welcome back to RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars; I swear to BOB that BeckyMae will be back next week, until then you get me again!

The girls are all blown away by the twist that they’ll be sending EACH OTHER packing, everything just got a little closer to home. They defrock while we get the REAL tea: Alaska would have sent home Phi Phi (I might have too, just coz I don’t see it yet and she just spit a tooth out into the sink) but anyway: DID YOU SEE HOW MUCH ALASKA TOWERS OVER WEE GINGER MINJ??

Back to the work room huntys: category is: Bundt Cake!

I cannot STAND Detox’s interview look, she looks like a radioactive Dutch boy

Adore’s still pouting (I THINK, it might be just dose lips) the next morning and I get it, Michelle was harsh but I don’t think she was WRONG, Adore might just have to examine her next few life choices. A commenter last week said she didn’t think Adore needed Drag Race any more and I’d agree with that, maybe she shouldn’t stay and get yelled at for her “hogbody” if she digs where she’s at.

RuMail! Ru wants NEW stars, but “don’t worry, it’s not personal, it’s DRAG. So who else ya got?”

Have I mentioned that RUPAUL IS THE BEST EVER? Honestly

MamaRu comes into the workroom in a crisp white shirt and a red polka dotted suit: LOVE.

It’s Snatch Game Time!!!! My favourite!! Time to comb some wigs; wait. Katya’s doing BJork? Bjork is not just one dress, henny, she’s a whole ball of crazy and I hope she’s done her research!

This is just like the RuPaul BoTS Tour! If they break into Rocky Horror Picture Show, I will cry like a baby.

Katya figures Alyssa, Detox and Phi Phi will be looking for redemption on their Snatch Games. Phi Phi sucked as Lady Gaga, but not quite as much as Detox did as Ke$ha. I’m guessing she and Alyssa as Katy Perry chose their celebs based on looks, because if you don’t know that Katy Perry’s first hit was I Kissed  A Girl…

Alyssa’s going old Hollywood with Joan Crawford: please tell me you read Mommy Dearest? Or had someone read it to you? Tatianna’s Britney took the very first Snatch Game ever, NO PRESH!

Adore’s skulking in the corner with her I’m Sad And You Should Ask Me Why face, first to bite is Alyssa. I love how supportive these ladies are, but I wouldn’t be in my twenties again for all the glue in that workrooom. Adore says she’s trying to put on a happy face but no, she is rocking the ^^^. Ru starts with her; who’s she doing? Jen Crouch and WHY ARE YOU CRYING ALREADY? She’s thinking of tapping out and HONESTLY

Everyone signed up to be compared to other people, to be critiqued, to hopefully grow from that criticism and if you can’t take that, why did you come here in the first place? Criticism sucks, I get it, but it’s like going to McDonalds and freaking out because it smells like french fries and feet. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS THERE! If you don’t want to be critiqued (by someone who some think isn’t a true judge of drag culture ANYWAY – I am not one that feels that way), stay home, do you and enjoy your life. Leaving five seconds after you got there is ridic.

I mean

Ru thinks Adore’s sabotaging herself, but Adore wants to protect her confidence. Ru thinks leaving now would be the OPPOSITE of confidence but Adore’s mind is made up: she’s going. Ru asks if there is anything she can say (I bet “I’m firing Michelle” would be about it) but isn’t giving up yet, she’s like Adore to talk to Michelle first. I’m trynna have patience because I LOVE Adore, and I remember what it was like to be young (really, really, really long ago) but honestly: at All Stars you’d expect people to be more professional.

Also, Adore isn’t as bloated as she looked last week, she looks…different and I can’t put my finger onnit.

Alaska’s up next! Then SHE and Ru talk about Adore; on to Snatch game. Alaska will be Mae West, and I think she’ll be great except that she’s a bone rack and Mae was ALLL curves. Listen to me with the body-shaming on this recap, y’all! Just when you’re talking esthetics: Mae West was luscious.

Adore and Michelle talk time! Adore gets right to it; she thought Michelle’s criticism was too harsh, not constructive and too personal. She apologizes, in front of cameras even, she doesn’t even apologize to her children! Adore cries, this is not her:”I’m not Eeyore!”

Honestly: over it.

Ru’s talking to Tatianna now, she’s doing Ariane Grande. Tatianna has some great advice that I try to follow daily: “Never try to win over the naysayers and the haters.” Put your energy into those that supported you in the beginning. A couple of years back I got caught up trying to appease people who hated me: never again. At least I will try really hard to never again.

Roxxxy is worried about sending Coco home last episode, they’ve been drag sisters since the beginning. She’s doing Sofia Vergara, which is a great choice for Snatch Game and SUCH a bad choice for my ears.

Ru ruveals the two people guesting on Snatch Game: Raven and JuJuBee! Woo hoo! Tatianna is not as excited as we are. “It’s gonna be a sonuvabitch”

Adore makes it back into the workroom to tell everyone she’s leaving, I am with everyone else who says: I think she should stay. Detox is just glad there’s “another bitch down” already.

Phi Phi takes Alyssa aside to quietly tell her that her Joan Crawford is coming off a lot like Alyssa Edwards. Oh but wait, she’s not just “helping” Alyssa, she’s “assisting” Roxxxy with her Sofia as well. Tatianna thinks all this feedback is strategic and what a shady betch! I mean, Alyssa isn’t the greatest at impersonations, but ROXXXY is, so worry about yourself, PhiPhiOneNote. Damnit, Roxxxy buys it and is thinking of changing her character. My ears thank you, Phi Phi, but I got my eyes on you.

Game time! Raven, a SAHM from Riverside, CA and JuJuBee! She looks awesome, I gag!!

Let’s meet everyone: Ginger is Tammy Faye Bakker (no makeup, just a little chapstick). Alaska’s Mae West looks great, like a blonde Jessica Rabbit. The way Ru laughs again: All Stars Season 2 Winner for SURE. When she’s good, she’s good, but

Katya hasn’t gone the easy route with her Bjork, woo hoo! She’s seriously so, so weird.

Phi Phi’s Theresa Caputo looks spot-on, she does okay. Ohhhhh and Alyssa’s Joan Crawford is EVERYTHING. And not at ALL Alyssa, what the hell was that shady betch Phi Phi talking about??

Oh and Delta is Nancy Grace, which HAS to be better than Acid Betty’s, but Detox is another one of those performers that likes to only talk about one performer: themselves, so we’ll see. Tatianna looks great as Ariane Grandelatte but Raven grimaces when she talks. Pull it out, gurl! Oh. Roxxxy is doing Alaska??? That’s a HUGE compliment for Alaska but an exceptional chance for a read, so I’m doubly excited. Oh man, she doesn’t even know Alaska’s catchphrases or songs, just the Hieeeee? GURL, WHUT?

JuJuBee’s question: those sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called “Star _____” “Booty” says JuJuBee. Joan Crawford had that too! I don’t think I’ve ever seen them have a match before! Roxxxy fcuks up Alaska’s song title (YOUR Makeup is Terrible, not MY Makeup is Terrible) but plugs “Anus” for Alaska anyway, so Imma let it pass. Heh. Delta is barely hanging in there as Nancy Grace

Next question! “The Pit Crew have spent waaay too much time around drag queens. Now, before they slip on their Andrew Christian underwear, they _____” Raven says “take a selfie.”

Tammy Faye Bakker says as it sayeth in the booketh, before you thongeth, you PRAY. Especially before putting on underwear, they’re so “filled with God’s love” and amen, sister. Bjork blah testicles blah Theresa Caputo kiiinda pulls it off, but everyone loves Joan Crawford.

Now we have a question about mosquitos and EVERYONE’s going to the clinic! Mae West has a preferred one, after the tenth visit, you get one free! Katya’s Bjork is so, so awesome and they have such a good flow right up until Nancy Grace gets called on.

Video Question from Bianca del Rio!!!!!! And Tatianna TANKS. So does Roxxxy, damn I can’t believe she let Phi Phi into her head like that! Shangela shuts down the show

Runway Day! Latex Extravaganza is the theme, yay! Alyssa’s in her Hannibal Lecter mask: for Edith if she’s reading!

And then the queens break down the maths for choosing who goes home tonight. Nobody knows maths.

Tatianna’s nervous about her Snatch Game, both Raven and JuJuBee were from season 2 as well, but Katya points out that now Tatianna has an opportunity to win over a whole new fan base. Drag Race fans are SUPER young now (maybe not all of us) and now they getta meet Tatianna! She won me over last episode, I’m in. And old.

Phi Phi doesn’t want to win the cash tip; she doesn’t want to send anyone home and WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WIN EVERY TIME THEY’RE ON STAGE??? Come ON

ErmaGAHD I LOVE Ru’s Monster Look tonight!! Hot pink with matching hair and bows?!!

Ross Matthews is back, you just know he’s “a sucker for the Snatch.” I actually like him on this show, even though I cannot STAND him on E! so there’s that.

Runway time! Phi Phi has all her ducks in a row, covered in rubber duckies.

Roxxxy Andrews looks AMAZING! 90s big hurr, floor length gown, like “a plus size Violet” Whatever. I love this Fredricks of Hollywood Plus Page realness

Alyssa Edwards is wearing a yellow dress with lips that is boring but gives the judges a lot to work with

Katya looks like Esther “Fister” Williams: “my waist is cinched, my nose is pinched and my body is absolutely drenched. In sweat”

Tatianna calls her look Dark Lady, but I think Michelle’s “a tramp, a scamp and a bit of a ..vamp.” She’s feeling cute

Alaska’s fashion Blade Rubber realness:

Ginger Minj is wearing the oddest latex gown ever; she looks gorgeous but it doesn’t look latex

Detox’s red jumpsuit / helmet is kind of amazing: Racoon Eleganza. I’m impressed that she looks so different from Alaska, since they both had the same eye-makeup in the workroom.

Before judging, Ru wants to know everyone is serious about being here: she’s worked her whole life to build her career and help others build theirs: are they in it to win it? Yaaass mama.

Alyssa and Ginger are safe; hitting the wall in the back. Critiques are:

Phi Phi is up first: Michelle calls her makeup harsh and her swimsuit not enough, Ross loved her Snatch Game, though. Medium

Roxxxy: gets kudos for her runway but panned for her Snatch Game. Ru mentions her Sofia and Todrick slams her for not being prepared. Bottom

Katya: GENIUS. “Icelandic toddler on acid” top

Tatianna: basic runway, Ariane was mediocre. She cries and gurl, you got this, just a bad week! She apologizes and Ru comes back with the best answer ever: “Don’t be sorry. Be fierce” She IS an All-Star and I’m so glad I met her! I can’t wait to see what else she can do! Bottom

Alaska is called versatile and we’re ALL surprised, none more than her. Everyone loved her Snatch… Game. Top

Detox: they all loved her runway, like an oil painting with a tight, tight tuck. Her Snatch Game gets a C. Middle?

Katya and Alaska are top two, they win a travel package to Las Vegas to see Zumanity, whut?? They get the flights and accommodation too?

The bottom three are: Tatianna, Roxxxy and Detox and WHAT? It has to be Tatianna but that’s not fair! Phi Phi was much worse!

Alaska wants to do meets with the bottom three, nobody was expecting Detox to be on the chopping block, OR Roxxxy, given she won last time. Tatianna trusts it will be a fair decision (she does not trust that) and then cries. She expected to be around longer.

Katya is enjoying her power position! And she tells everyone!

I don’t like this stuff, get to it! Lip Synch for Your Legacy! Nobody is ready to go home and I don’t wanna see Tatianna cry any more! If it was based on personalities, I’d send Detox home, cannot stand. She looks fantastic, though! Not tonight!

The Lip Synch is hilarious, yay! I love both Alaska and Katya; Alaska takes it. And now she sends home: Tatianna. Damnit. Of course that was gonna happen, she was the weakest this episode, I just wish they’d thrown Phi Phi in the bottom instead of Roxxxy.

So what was happening with Coco last week when they said she might getta come back? Tatianna gets her RuMail and she MAD. MAD. And we’re oot