Since I messed up what week I’m doing another show, I had a night free so I am trynna catch up on The Five! Rolling after the break

Last week it got weird in a hurr-ay, with Jay Newman turning up dead, Jesse’s blood all over his shirt and an angry Slade in the vicinity directly before. It seems the timeline of Jesse’s disappearance might be off as well, thanks to Pru and Slade’s illicit snogging in a tunnel. That’s the sort of thing that cops are always turning up, right? Someone lied because they didn’t want to say exactly why they were in one particular area, the admittance of infidelity seeming so much more important that an actual murder. You know, when it’s YOUR infidelity, anyway.

Mark’s at the police station again, ready to fill Danny in on Pru and Slade’s withheld sighting of Jesse after the group dispersal. Jesse was headed to the Bear Pit, which is the opposite direction that Danny’s dad and the other detectives said he went. After the Bear Pit (like a real Bear Pit?) there are all kinds of unexplored avenues, houses and roads and I think they would have checked everywhere, wouldn’t they? I mean, even in 1995, they tried to find kids really hard.

Danny warns Mark to step away and it gets shouty. This case is really testing their friendship.

Pru looks all spacey again at work, the head of the clinic walks in and asks her about the partnership contracts? She can witness right now if Pru is ready to sign. Pru is distracted by Slade’s text about needing her help and she gives some line about needing to run things past her husband first, oh and she has to get her phone, yeah? The other doctor leaves, looking skeptical.

At the shelter, a young blonde woman is waiting outside Slade’s door but scoots when Mark starts talking. Mark is angry, though, he can’t believe Slade didn’t tell anyone that he chased Jesse in the opposite direction to what everyone thinks! And not just when they were 12, now, when they think Jesse is alive, Mark wants to know why he didn’t say anything??

Slade finally admits to chasing Jesse, but says Jesse gave him the slip and he didn’t know which direction he ran in. Was that before or after you bashed his head in, Slade, you psycho? Slade thinks it’s about him and Pru and him being disloyal, but I’m pretty sure Mark is a scootch more pissed his best friend withheld evidence from the police about his brother’s disappearance.

Danny and Ally are readying to interview the first captive cleared, Sascha Manley, Ally gets a call about the last name they found on Selena Callaway’s hard drive; it’s a literal dead end (dead guy) and they have nothing to go on, what could have been on her hard drive? I’m guessing unfortunate pictures and identity information.

22 year old Sacha Manley is NOT impressed to find out that her family is still being tracked down on holidays, how can they do that while she’s missing? I’ve not been in that position, but I would posit that four years with a missing child probably felt like a very long time and they were most likely forced into it by other family members. She does NOT understand. She’s very Irish and looks extremely poorly taken care of, but she knew about Britnay helping Jay, getting the girls, except she calls her Rachel. Rachel helped the girls out, too, though, but she pulled the girls in for Jay until she disappeared. Jay was furious, raging, and the girls all thought he’d killed her.

Britnay is back at the shelter, but on edge, jumping and shouting at the other kids.

The detectives are interviewing Jane Shilling now, ohhh, she had a six-month old baby girl (I swear to god, everyone I know is having girls, what is that??) when she was taken. Emma probably doesn’t know her and that’s horrific. She has different information than Sacha, she noticed that there were two men visiting their cell, nothing identifiable except that he was gentle and had bigger hands.

After the interview, Danny is withdrawn and Ally asks why? He’s worried that Gentle Hodor Big Hands is Jesse and that had occurred to her as well.

Danny’s digging out the old evidence from the original case… which is all blank. Whut? He handles it with his usual aplomb and composure, haha just kidding, he trashes it angrily. He goes home to stare sad/madly at his dad.

Ally is at Newman’s house, and so is everyone else. The news crews are all out front, and the crime scene techs are crawling all over a patch of land in the back that’s been disturbed.

Simon’s waiting outside Mark’s flat? Mark invites Simon in for breakfast, Dad’s cooking! In a shortie silk nightie no less. I don’t know if pink is his colour, but he doesn’t care, he likes it and his bits are (mostly) covered.

Why hasn’t Mark been looking into anything to do with Kenton, Simon’s dad?? Mark tries to fake him out, but Simon susses immediately that Mark hasn’t done even a cursory read of information about his dad, given that Mark is unaware his dad teaches at the school he attends. Alan tries to commiserate about “b*tches of the highest order” but Simon likes his dad, thankyouverymuch. Mark promises to start afresh and make amends by actually trying to find Kenton.

There’s a body in Jay’s backyard under that patch of disturbed ground , it looks like a small one.

Mark’s recruited Pru to help him look for information about Kenton, she’s a little confused, given how they left things the last time they met. He asks her to be his lovely pretend wife so he can ask questions of the students without seeming like a prevert.

They ask around a few times to a few groups of students; lots of giggling, very little information, except for one group that suggests that they check the closet in case Mr. Marshall’s off shagging “Alexa(er)” again. A beautiful young woman separates from the group, Mark follows and is met with “are you a cop?” answering “should I be?” and she clearly has information. They’re off to find out about Alexa(er)!

Danny asks Ally again if she thinks GentleHodor is Jesse, how would they know anything more now?

Mark and Pru are discussing their daughter Triona, the piano (? asks/states Pru) prodigy (grade 7 at fifteen!) when Mark scoots to go search out Alexa, leaving Pru to lie solo with the Dean. Er-oooh.

Mark finds his way into the Head Teacher’s office, and I’m absolutely sure she never locks her computer either, go on in, maybe she’s left you some tea, too! Don’t close the door, just start clicking things. Ah well, it seems as though at least some of it is protected, but not a folder of event pictures. Oh magic, thankfully he’s able to click right into an Alexa’s confidential information and print it off in time, whew. That was completely realistic and didn’t strain credulity whatsoever.

They’re off to Alexa Mills’ address on the admissions form, oh. It’s a blind. The couple there doesn’t have any children and now Alexa AND Kenton Marshall have become part of the plot. Quick, someone splash some of Jesse’s blood around and we’ll get everything locked together tight! The couple did look hella spooked, could he have been one of Selena Callaway’s marks?

Mark wants to rush back to school and press the Head Teacher, but Pru’s pretend-divorcing him, she has work and a surgery this afternoon.

Britnay / Rachel find Slade all contemplative in his office, she’s going to go talk to the police. And he DOESN’T want her to, whuuut?? Isn’t he always saying he can’t get the kids to talk to the police? I mean. It must be because he stabbed the wee wicket psycho. He talks as though he’s protecting her. He says the police would tear her apart, but really, she wants to put her hand up and take responsibility for what she did. The police are going to know she was coerced and they know all about captive psychology and ALL of that. I mean, let her go and clear her conscience, Slade! She’s showing a lot of courage. He makes her wait for an hour’s time, then promises he’ll take her himself.

Mark’s got balls for days, showing back up back at the school, asking the Head Teacher to go look for his wife’s phone in the music department (as though ANY of us would put our phones down for a second, junkies the lot of us) but this time secretary Wendy is there to block his access to the HT’s office. She leaves and he’s back in a flash, but the pissed off Head Teacher approacheth! He finds a driver’s license on the proof of residency application form (very important, the Head Teacher mentioned PoR during the tour) and sends it to the slowest printer ever as she stomps down the corridor… it pops out just in time and he’s out of the office, but how exactly to grab the printout from the slowest printer ever? So much uncomfortable eye contact and then he finally gets it after she flounces into her office.

Hmm, outside Mark’s being followed by a stern-looking Slavic gentleman on his way to press Mills again, it was Mills’ driver’s license on file, so for sure he knows something. Ah, but his wife doesn’t. And he was one of Selena’s victims! He had to sign a bunch of things, and he can show Mark. The guy that made him sign things was a pimp called Payne (Pain?) Ahhhh and the blonde girl in front of Slade’s office this morning is the duplicitous Alexa, although she looks as though she’s had a hard go of it recently.

So. Is Slade the MasterCriminal or VengeancePersonified?

Slade has driven the determined Britnay to the police station as promised, but he’s STILL trying to dissuade her on the steps, making me slightly worried that he might do something stupid. Ah and she IS Rachel! I fought so. Is he really trying to protect her, or himself? Rachel goes in and asks for Danny, who isn’t there, sitting to wait.

Mark almost gets into an accident with said Slavic gentleman following him, to get his arse firmly kicked on the side of the road. Wow. Pimps are looking pretty flash these days.

Oooooh, why didn’t Rachel say something about what she wanted to talk about? She’s sitting there waiting when the former captives walk back in, one is Jane Shilling, who stares at her hard.

Mark got the plate number off the car of the fella that attacked him, calling Danny to ask him to find out who it is. Danny’s frustrated, but agrees.

Meanwhile, Jane’s come over to Rachel, what’s she doing there? Wait, she’s not to blame, go! We won’t say anything. That’s lovely, a bit of absolution for Rachel. She can’t speak for everyone, though, a larger, older former captive looks ANGRY. She ducks police custody and goes after Rachel.

Mark’s recruiting all his friends into his shenanigans; now he’s bringing Slade with him to check out the address he got from the car’s plate number. I don’t know about the UK, but in Canada, you will be fired if you use police equipment to look up things for personal reasons. Another someone with an extraordinarily long lens watches them drive off.

Ahh the the Slavic gentleman leads them back to Porter And Starr where Selena Callaway had worked before her untimely death. Slade tries the old rat-catcher routine again, why did we never find out about her using her boss’s ex-fiancee’s name?

Slade watches as Slavic (who must be Pain/Payne) shouts at someone, then digs out his phone and calls “P” from his address book. Slavic answers. What does that mean? He keeps that information from us and Mark.

Pru and Mark’s parents are having drinks and 50s music, Pru’s clearly intoxicated / high again, why has nobody noticed this woman’s addiction issues? And wasn’t she meant to be in surgery?

Danny’s taking another gentle run at his dementia-addled father, he wants to know what happened to the information that was in Jesse’s case files? His dad seems lucid, telling him he is going to share something important he was told, but it’s just that Jesus wants him for a fisherman, nothing pertaining to the case.

Mark and Pru are out in a pub, she’s asking about his fat lip. He was about to say how lovely it is joking around with her just as she bursts into tears. She has more stuff she needs to tell him, stuff she needs to unpack. Box 1) She married the wrong man, whoops, not that box. Box 2) she has no idea what she’s doing. She doesn’t know why she went to America, and was seized by a sense of urgency to come home, so she did. She doesn’t want that partnership because she doesn’t want to be a private doctor. She wants to be a shelter doctor instead and I’d suggest before she treat anyone else while under the influence, she look into healing herself. I’m awfully high and mighty about other people’s decisions, aren’t I?

Rachel leaves a note for Slade on his door, she followed his advice. She shuts down the shelter with headphones on (interesting song! Gimme some more so I can look it up!) while the former captive follows her. Oh no. Oh shite, the captive has a knife! And stabs Rachel 4 times!! EEh

Pru and Mark are eyecuddling while dancing and reliving the past, then actually cuddling and we’re out to Rachel bleeding on the floor of the closed shelter. Eep!

Well. Bloody hell, lots developing as we go. Is Slade Good or Evil? Will Rachel / Britnay survive? Who’s the mastermind? Where does Jay Newman fit into all of this? Will Pru get some help? Will she and Mark finally bang the gong slowly after all these years? WHERE THE SAM HILL IS JESSE?

Right, we’re out, see you in a couple of days!