I hear a new series of The Split with Nicola Walker is coming soon; let’s throw it back to the beginning and start there! Rolling into my recap of The Split S1:E01 That Sister after the break!
Way back in 2018, Nicola Walker starred in this show The Split. I was going through a contentious divorce at the time and as much as I love her, the thought of recapping a show about divorce was as attractive as intentionally running headfirst into a brick wall covered in broken glass. Now it’s 2024, a new series is coming out, I’ve been happily divorced for two years and I am ready to get some more Nicola Walker in my life! Without further ado, let’s get into it!
**I mean, you should see the messy posts from during that period, I feel like I should write an apology letter to Doctor Foster fans.
We open in what looks like a once-happy home; there are loads of family pictures decorating every surface but a couple awakening completely separate from each other.
One is Hannah Stern( Nicola Walker) looking very, very different than every other show I’ve seen Nicola Walker in. Hannah is all sleek blonde bob, lean body in fitted expensive gear and purple eye-shadow applied with a heavy if stylish hand.
Nathan (Stephen Mangan) is the person back-to-back in bed with Hannah, they seem to get along alright, all sorts of impersonal banter and inside jokes which is maybe enough to sustain him. Hannah seems more contemplative.
There are three children but everyone is out the door at the right time, Hannah asking Nathan to make sure she
- Doesn’t drink tonight
- Make excuses for her if she shows up late
- It’s her mother’s birthday, so that’s going to be tricky
That’s rather a lot to unpack!
Walking to work, a man walking opposite stops her in her tracks, but it’s dread on her face, not joy when she sees Oscar (Anthony Head whom I know from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Stranger!). He raises a hand tentatively.
Nina (Annabel Scholey) rolls in late, her mother Ruth (Deborah Findlay)‘s “late again?” suggests this is a common occurrence. Nina is going up against Hannah today, it sounds like family law and also a family lawyer problem: Ruth didn’t step down when she should have so Hannah could take over?
There’s a lot in that sentence.
Hannah gets to work at a very expensive looking place with lots of swanky floors; her junior solicitor Maggy Duvall (Ellora Torchia) warns her about someone we saw on TV earlier: comedian Rex Pope (Mathew Baynton) who has written a book about his ex-wife being a b-word. Hannah calls that premature; no divorce agreement yet!
Oh and the guy in the square was Hannah’s father and she will not see him, not now, not tomorrow, not ever.
Oh wow. She had a super hot office mate. I don’t know if it’s just him or the chemistry, but it is sizzling. Christie Carmichael (Barry Atsma) in a suit the same colour as his sparkling eyes, gets awfully close to Hannah while trying to convince her to use her maiden name Defoe.
She’s not willing to entertain the idea of this possible big client looking for her type of name brand recognition.
But here is Davie McKenzie (Stephen Tompkinson) and his wife Goldie (Meera Syal! I know her from Yesterday of course, but she is also the partner of my dear Sanjeev Bhaskar) waiting for Hannah in the massive boardroom.
What
Goldie didn’t know. Goldie didn’t know she was there to get a divorce and this is how he sprung it on her, while she sat there with her hand on his arm, encouraging him in saying what he had trouble getting out.
What an absolute piece of shite.
Hannah does not want this client, she doesn’t want a circus, but you know what fellow partner Zander (Chukwudi Iwuji) wants? His divorce solicitor to stop moving toward settlements and litigate this bad boy in court.
Hannah approaches her brand new piece of shite client to ask if A) his wife had any legal advice before attending, but no, of course she wouldn’t have and B) she intends to try her best to give his wife 50%.
Davie McKenzie suggests she take a breath.
Hannah follows this up with a shared bathroom visit with Goldie, who asks her if she likes this? Watching people tear each other apart?
Hannah does not, but she’s been training at it from a young age.She suggests that Goldie find herself a the very best solicitor she can, someone who can swim past the sharks and give her the sort of divorce she herself would want.
That’s muddled, but the important part is that Hannah was using female pronouns for said theoretical lawyer and we all wondered (Goldie maybe included) if she meant her just then.
We met Nina earlier at the Defoe law firm, now she has come over to see Hannah at her fancy office, with an oddly highlighted trainer-for-heels switchout in the lobby in front of Davie MacKenzie, leaving with his soon to be ex-wife. Nina is also late to meet Hannah, so we now know that’s her thing, and also: Hannah’s hair and job are brand new.
Nina is there for a meeting between Rex Pope and his ex-wife Sarah Pope (Tanya Franks), you remember, his comedy tour is called ‘My Ex-Wife Is A B*tch”, which has led to no visitation for Rex and his kiddo but…is that how that goes? You can’t call your ex names, but you also can’t usually restrict child access for same.
**Disclaimer: not a UK solicitor or a solicitor or of the UK
During short break, Nina flirts all over super hot Christie, but he’s divorced now and apparently Nina likes them attached.
She’ll grow out of that.
Perhaps what she won’t grow out of is sneaking through her sister’s paperwork and finding out about Davie MacKenzie filing for divorce.
Negotiations resume over what will be and won’t be posted online or said during comedy tours, the couple seems to still be quite connected. And Rex is still in love, as evidenced by making his whole life about her, even in the negative it’s all her. Sarah has a new man, and they all used to work together. It’s messy.
Then an assistant spills that Rex and Sarah’s kiddo Eddie (Jack Riley) is there in the office and Rex is up and looking for him. Omigod watching him being walked away from his child.
I cannot agree less with keeping a kiddo from either parent, unless there is any form of child abuse at all.
So much personal stuff mixed in between Nina and Hannah – their dad keeps coming up and their mom and parties and should they talk about their dad and? How did he look?
Old.
I mean, true, but harsh.
There is a big partner lunch in the midst of allllllll of thisssssss, Zander is about to launch into a pep talk about expansion when Hannah’s husband Nathan interrupts by coming to give her a kiss. And stare down the adorable Christie seated right next to Hannah. Weird how Nathan didn’t give Hannah a kiss goodbye that morning when there was no gorgeous Dutchman sitting next to her.
Oh great, Hannah’s mom is in the house too, is there just the one restaurant in the UK? I know there are only 17 actors and they all caravan together from job to job.
Oh and of course Davie MacKenzie is there too, lunching with Hannah’s mom after Nina was kind enough to give her a heads up.
I rather think Hannah would do better representing Goldie anyway, but perhaps they frown on that sort of poaching. Nope! Davie has signed with Hannah’s mother Ruth because not only are there only 17 actors in the UK and one restaurant, there are also only two law firms.
Hannah is in trouble for this loss, and she’s incandescent with rage with she realises her sister was snooping around on her desk.
There’s another sister, Rose (Fiona Button) and she’s totally marrying a gay dude. There is absolutely nothing wrong with gay dudes getting married, it’s just probably more successful when they marry other gay dudes and if you have to protest that much that your fiancé isn’t gay: he probably is, Rose.
So far, this has all happened by lunch time! Now we’re back in the negotiating room with Rex (who has been allowed to return by security?) and Sarah and a furious Hannah cutting Rex’s act to bits to spite his solicitor.
Rex and Sarah don’t know what happened but they now understand the gloves are off.
Goldie MacKenzie is only now starting to understand how little control she will have over her life; passwords are changed, safes are open and she needs some friend time.
Wait.
I think one of her friends is sleeping with her husband. The one who just got Widow Boobs. Usually they’re called Divorce Boobs but in this case, the husband died. We get a great scene of Goldie being really kind to Widow Boobs, who looks uncomfortable and is most likely sleeping with Goldie’s soon to be ex-husband.
100% boinking Davie, you mark my words.
Goldie’s ears go up too, she follows Widow Boobs to a fancy hotel where Davie awaits his ladylove.
Hannah sits in the park in the afternoon (this is the same day!!!), her dad Oscar is still lurking about and pops out to give her an envelope for her mother, on the occasion of her birthday.
*Note: Oscar has been gone for 30 years.
She takes the envelope but will not be entertaining her dad any time soon.
She does, however, make arrangements for Rex Pope to see his kiddo because it is always better.
It’s party time, excellent on this day that never ends, Ruth is 70 and Nathan is on time, even if Hannah is not. He works the crowd expertly while Hannah stares at the skyline from her fancy work balcony and chats with Christie.
He zips her dress and I need a minute.
They used to be great friends, all children together and they slept together the night before her wedding to Nathan??????????
Oh and Goldie is in boardroom 8 waiting for Hannah.
Back to the party, where a very late Hannah rolls up to watch Nina all over her husband and a text from Christie asking for Nina’s number, as Nina had asked him out.
That’s a lot.
Into the lion’s den Hannah strolls, slugging back champagne as her sisters try on bizarre clothing in their mum’s room.This goes bad when a frustrated Hannah has to clamp down on her sisters, why does she always have to be the grownup? Why does everyone else just take whatever they want and leave everyone else in the shite?
Why indeed.
Ruth greeted Hannah with a look, and now Hannah has to do a speech about the self-reliance and resilience that were the biggest gifts her mother passed along to her girls.
Ruth is still salty about Hannah leaving the family firm when she relied on her, she calls her a runner like her dad and that’s kind of harsh, isn’t it?
Oh and by the way: here’s a card from same. Ta
Oh look, there’s Nina and Nathan messing around again. If they haven’t slept together yet, they will.
We all know about that type of sister.
Hannah texts Christie Nina’s contact information while watching her sister mack on her husband.
Later, she curls up behind Nathan in bed, but he’s either asleep or not interested in physical intimacy with her if there isn’t a sexy Dutchman around.
Nina goes to see (one of) her lovers, you remember her client Rex? Ruth rips up the letter from Oscar and dances alone while Hannah and Christie text late into the night.
Seriously, he’s ridiculously hot, what is she doing with cold fish Nathan who appears only interested in besting Christie and bouncing on her sister anyway?
So! We’re done episode one of The Split, that was like 10 episodes and just one calendar day!
I am trying to get a fix on the vibe of the show; I’m not in love with the scoring but I do like how the mother is a complex character. In fact, everyone seems to have layers and I dig it. Except Nathan, feck that guy.
Until next time, cheers!
