We left our felonious femmes staring at the dead body of Guvnor Jackson, suspicion firmly settled on newb Bea Smith. Is it wrong that I was more worried about how this death would affect Bea and Mr. Jackson’s relationship? He had just started to help her out and seemed like one of the good guys, I’m worried she’ll be left without help to this gross tug-of-war between Franky and Jacs.

Speaking of this match in which Bea is the shuttlecock, batted back and forth between Jacs and Franky, surely there are others they could use and torture? I was a little surprised Franky had clearly clueless Bea muling right away, must have been desperate due to the delay of her former cellie being nabbed in processing.

Everyone’s been interviewed. Mr. Jackson is reviewing the tapes over and over and over, especially Bea’s. Poor fella, I won’t even objectify him in his ginch, sad and alone amongst all the flowers from well-wishers and pics of him and Meg in happier days.

Dory comes in to grab Franky, come on then! But nah, Franky’s reading fan mail (I can’t WAIT to hear her back-story) and she doesn’t want to participate in Kaiya’s birthday celebration. Hot Potato dancing and cake for all! Oh but Mr. Jackson is there suddenly and I’m going to TRY to not drool, but he’s wearing his uniform again and DAYUM. He doesn’t speak, just glares at Bea while Liz titters on.

Miss Bennett (if you didn’t think of Pride and Prejudice, it’s like I don’t even KNOW you) is walking the gauntlet of reporters wanting to know about Meg Jackson’s murder.

Mr. Jackson is still glaring at Bea in the lunchroom while the girls gossip about whether he’ll be replacing his dead wife and who killed her anyway? Boomer figures it was Jacs, who’s up flirting with Franky. Bea gives her condolences to Mr. Jackson, who doesn’t buy it. He advised her to do whatever Franky wanted before, surely he can’t think Bea actually did this? And why were there no videos during the riot?

In between all this dramz, Dory’s giving shit to an obviously high AF woman, she’ll cause trouble for everyone if they see she’s pinned.

Dory stops Mr. Jackson in the yard; Kaiya’s drawn a picture for him! It’s a “Welcome Back” but she’s included Bea’s curly red hair in the pic, I bet he’s not going to like that. Oh and he tears it up in front of them both, come on Mr. Jackson! It’s Kaiya’s birthday, she’s in bloody prison and she drew you a picture! As someone who wanted kidlets, surely you can’t be that cruel?? He just wants to know who killed his wife, pressing Dory, who knows that if there’s just one drug bust, Kaiya will be sent away. Maybe that’s why she was so worried about that woman being so clearly stoned out of her mind.

Bea’s managed to call home, but Debbie’s blocked from answering it by her ahole dad. They fight for a bit until they hear a very obvious click; someone else is listening in and it’s not Debbie. He snaps back into Normal Façade then, there’s lots they need to talk about, Honey, he’ll be in for a visit. Well, at least he can’t hit her in prison. Dory watches as she’s pushed out of the phone line by another inmate.

Miss  Bennett is giving the most ineffectual speech EVER to the staff. Say what you want about hard-charging Meg Jackson, she had the confidence and the waters to lead and not everyone does. The GM will be on site for the next few days, several new security measures have been put in place and the investigation into Guvnor Jackson’s murder is proceeding apace. They’re not sure whether it was an accident or murder and really? How do you accidentally drive a can opener into someone’s heart?

Will walks in just then, oh slightly awkward then for Miss Bennett, but not the GM, who welcomes him back and launches into a much better talk. Oh and I think he and Erica are banging, so I must find out his name when I have internet access again. He wants to give the press something positive to focus on, what do they have?

Erica takes him to her class, they’re learning new vocabulary  today while Dory looks worried next to Junkie (no name yet!).  In walks Franky, really? If anyone has a vocab, it’s our Lady of the Wry Lips here. She must be working Erica. And since Erica’s been tutoring Franky for 12 months, and there’s this weird vibe between the two of them, working it must be.

Erica’s selling her classes as they walk along, I’m just waiting for the throw-down. Oh and it’s not the GMs wiener she wants, it’s the Guvnor’s job, but he’s not giving it to her based on her current platform of reintroducing well-groomed dancing baristas back into society.

Will’s approached by Matthew Fletcher in the yard while he’s glaring at Bea again; he needs to keep an open mind as to what’s happened.

Ah, Bea’s off to see her ahole husband in visiting: he won’t bring Debbie, he won’t let Bea talk to her and she’s not getting Bea’s letters either. His kind only knows about control. The cops are sniffing around, though, they know sommat’s up and that’s what’s making him nervous. He’s still sticking to the story that he tried to kill himself, ostensibly for Debbie’s sake, but we all know it’s so people don’t find out that he’s an abuser.

Bea gets back to her cell to be attacked by Dory, who’s lost the plot under pressure from Mr. Jackson to find out what happened to his wife. She holds a shiv to Bea’s neck but it must be made of glass, because it cuts her hand all to shite. She’s so worried that she’ll lose Kaiya. We get a little of Dory’s backstory, looks like pretty typical partying, drugs and shots and OHHH she’s pregnant. And drunk and driving: it’s like 4 PSAs at once!

Liz comes in to calm everyone down, Dory’s frantic with worry that Mr. Jackson will take Kaiya, since he said as much to the wee girl’s face.

Bea heads straight out in to the yard to talk to Mr. Jackson, she didn’t do this. She’s been cleared. So find out who did, he growls, maybe a night in the Slot would help her figure it out. Just as he’s about to drag her off, Mr. Fletcher comes over and stops him, oh that’s not going to help. Will should not be there right now, he’s all over the place and trying to use his position to beat it out of the women. Matthew sends him home, but Will cries a bit first, so the women jeer at him with their eyes as he walks out.

Dory’s reading Kaiya her bedtime story while Toni (the Junkie! A name! Jada Alberts) bitches, she’s trying to sleep. Ohhh and TONI is Kaiya’s mum! NOT Dory! What?? She must have lost the baby she was expecting.

Will’s clicking through pictures of Meg on the computer, oh ho! He found a clue; her gold bracelet she always wore wasn’t listed in her effects from the prison. Find the bracelet!

Vera, well, she hasn’t a chance against organized and sound-bite friendly Dr. Erica. She’s also made the mistake of confiding in Erica about her terror of news cameras and talking in front of people. I don’t know how Miss Bennett is as a warden, but she clearly can’t handle the political aspects of the job. Will busts in, he wants another search of the compound for the bracelet. Vera doesn’t give in easily, but she knows she has to.

The night of the RAMP is busy. Miss Bennett is unsure but Erica’s planning to use it to her advantage, calling in a favour from a Bernadette. The search freaks out Kaiya but turns up nothing, frustrating Will, who takes it out on Fletcher in the parking lot. A punch in the face later, Will’s off again.

How are they going to find one tiny gold bracelet in this entire huge prison? I don’t even think internals (strip searches) would work.

The favour Erica called in was to a reporter; there she is on the front page of the newspaper, the face of the prison. Matthew’s trying to calm Vera down, but she’s devastated someone she thought was a friend back-doored her like that.

Erica comes in and plays it off, I was so HAPPY that Vera was standing up for herself *arms crossed* “tell me you didn’t have anything to do with it” but then caves immediately. Erica may be a shark and a shitty friend, but she has the confidence to lead, at least. Even if she does it in shady, shady ways. Don’t trust her, Vera! Buck up and take charge! Maybe Erica shivved Meg, she really REALLY wants her job.

Channing the GM comes in, this raid isn’t going to do Vera’s budget any favours, izzit? Erica follows him out, still selling herself as warden. He doesn’t think her vague promises of public safety in the paper are enough, and she hasn’t earned her stripes, even with her double degree in law and Social Work.

She goes for it then. She knows how to mitigate, strategize, mediate and convince the public that their money is being spent in their interest. He’s listening… she thinks she can spin a public relations campaign into less stress for him and the only problem with that is she has no idea what’s actually going on in the yard. Meg did, it’s probably what got her killed, if it wasn’t Blonde Ambition here.

Oooh another clue, Franky was on reality TV! Which one??! C.O.P.S? She gets tonnes of fan mail, anyway. Bea’s skipping the phone queue, and even offers to make a cuppa for Dory, who threatened her last night with a shard of glass.

Dory and Bea have a cuppa and we hear the rest of Dory’s backstory. Her baby died in the accident she had while driving trashed, she also hurt (maybe killed?) other people, which is why she is in here.  She had to birth her baby anyway, even though she was dead, yikes. She’s worried that keeping Kaiya in prison is the wrong thing, how do you ever know what the right thing is? Bea says you never know (TRUE STORY), you just do what’s in your gut. Dory calls immediate bullshit, why isn’t Bea still calling Debbie then? Bea was intimidated by her husband again during his visit, though, he tried to muscle her and then then reverted to Mummy-guilt.. think of what’s best for the child! But Bea knows, in her gut, that giving up on Debbie isn’t the right thing to do either, so. Bea runs off

There’s trouble in the phone queue anyway, Bea, don’t hurry! Jacs is picking at Liz, did the guards find what they were looking for? Liz doesn’t know, but asks Jacs in a roundabout way if she killed the Guvnor, then? Nah, she doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, except for Francesca. Where is the bean-flicker anyway?

Will and Matthew make up, awww, but he warns Will, he’s gotta stop doing this to himself.

Dory’s drawing pictures with Kaiya out in the yard, she’s dismayed to see how many of the pics are of animals and people behind bars. Toni comes up, off her face (thanks to a visit from the Smack Fairy) and in no mood to draw pictures (she’s the worst mother ever also), Dory makes up her mind. She spies Fletcher across the yard, so she sends Toni off to the wards to get her cigarettes, right across Fletcher’s line of vision. He pulls her on over straight away; she’s obviously pinned. The teacher from Erica’s class looks all weird and scared.

Dory tells Kaiya to get her things; she’s off to see Grandma for a long time this time. She does that crying while smiling thing that parents do, aww Dory. The Best Choices suck the most sometimes.

Ah, the teacher from Erica’s class was the one who supplied Toni with the junk. He tells her in a rush and she promises to cover it up while sending him packing. Meanwhile, Vera’s being sent back down the minors; Deputy once more. Guess who’s getting the promotion? NO, GUESS!!

Channing holds a televised press conference just then, Vera Bennett is thanked for her contribution and Erica Davidson is welcomed as the new Guvnor. Hoooo says Franky, lookit! The completely blind one focused only on her own advancement being in charge can only be a boon to her burgeoning meth distribution business.

We get a closing montage; Will snorting drugs (whut?), Dory saying goodbye to Kaiya, Bea calling Debbie, who refuses to answer at first and then finally picks up. We’re oot to Dory crying into Kaiya’s teddybear.