We’re back with Wentworth where I’m having a hard time not skipping ahead, season 4 is happening right now and I hear it’s VERY ‘CITING! But no, no, anything we learn now will be out of context and order and won’t make any sense, right? Right?? Let’s roll S1:E4 The Things We Do after the break

Things were ugly and bittersweet last episode, with a horrifying injury for Franky and learning her back-story with her messed up childhood. I was hoping for more information on Meg Jackson’s murder, but rumour has it I may have to wait until season THREE to find out everything, whut?? Come on now!

We open with Liz working on her speech,  leading the women in a talk about their “journey.” Franky talks about the few people who’ve tried to push her, that didn’t work out well… for them. She’s almost got her HRC though, shhhhh. Being in prison has saved Dory, she’s found her family now and I can see that. Boomer likes to beat people up but Franky’s helped her not get sent to the slot so much now. Liz digs her Peer Worker job, not just for  helping the women, but it’s helped her too and she makes me tear up a little (sorry , sorry, I got an ossum present from a great friend today and I’m all EMOSH) when she says over and over “I’ve changed!”

Guvnor Davidson takes everyone through the plan for today; Matt’s super skeptical at the amount of faith the new Guvnor is placing in Liz, but she and the women know the stakes of this day. Erica promised she could make everyone safe with these programs *all the side-eye between Will and Matt*, so now it’s showtime! Matt keeps pushing back, he’s the sort that speaks truth to power (me too!) and so far he’s gotten away with it (not exactly me), Erica’s brushing right by his objections about overwork and the reduced safety for the guards. I mean, nobody liked Meg, but they respected her, at least when she wasn’t making out with her hawt AF hubs, Will, while on the job. That seemed to piss Matt off.

Will stays after the meeting to ask about the investigation into Meg’s murder. He accuses Erica of being happy that it’s at a standstill. He’s been randomly searching cells looking for his wife’s missing bracelet and that’s more than anyone else has been doing. The less focus on that the better for Erica.

WHAT THE FCUK is Debbie doing with BRAYDEN HOLT again??? And they’re holding hands?? And she didn’t tell her mum she was coming?? Man. TEENAGERS.

Liz is meeting with Rachel (Annie Jones) whom I like immediately. Rachel must be Liz’s counselor or Parole Officer or lawyer or something. Oh and Guvnor Jackson put in a parole hearing request for Liz just before she died, so it will be in two weeks. Liz is shocked but I’m more worried that Erica will torpedo it; Liz is the only one doing Peer Work and the new Guvnor’s placed a lot of responsibility on Liz alone. Don’t Shawshank Liz!!

Liz watches Bea and Debbie hug in the visiting room; flashing back to her hugging her own kiddos as Rachel asks where she’ll be staying if she gets paroled? These are the kind of ducks you need to have in a row when you’re up for parole; makes you look prepared.

Bea doesn’t understand why Debbie is there; she was going to wait a bit before visiting after all the shenanigans last time. I am wondering if it has more to do with young Brayden Holt.

At Liz’s last parole hearing, there was some concern about her adjustment to the outside world, that’s why Rachel and Liz need to shore up some outside support systems. Liz is a drinker, and her flashbacks of playing with her kids are reminding me so much of 28 Days with Sandra Bullock and Alan Tudyk. If you haven’t seen, GET THEE TO NETFLIX! Liz tells Rachel not to worry about her being set up with her family, she’s got it, as you were.

Jacs watches Bea and Debbie visit over Brayden’s shoulder, hmm, Harry’s not been around much and why is that? Debbie says she caught the bus to get there and that’s not true, Debbie, come on. Bea tries to caution Debbie about being safe, what with Jacs’ death threat hanging over her head and Jacs herself watching them closely, but Debbie won’t have no life just because her mums in prison, GAAWWW.

Ronnie’s (Louise Harris) daughter Amy (Virginia Katsis) is in to see her, but all Ronnie wants is for her kid to go potty with Aunty Manda (Carla Bonner), but she didn’t eat the chocolate. Aunty Manda and I freak out, but for completely different reasons. She fed the child laxatives to smuggle drugs into the prison for her mom? WTH?? Debbie sees and is similarly horrified. And since Amy didn’t eat the chocolate, the drugs are in her system and have a chance of rupturing, right? As Amy slumps to the floor, Will Jackson calls Code Black and Liz flashes back to her son Artie unconscious after drinking his mum’s bottle.

Will and Vera finally gets it out of Ronnie what’s in wee Amy; it’s heroin and no, she can’t stay with her kiddo, the one she just severely endangered. I feel bad for all that judgement now, Liz is hearing all the “who could do that to their own child” and remembering the disgust on her husband and MILs faces when they found Artie passed out from alcohol poisoning. She’d been hiding her booze in soda bottles, and he didn’t know right off. From the way they treat Liz, I’d say they know all about her drinking.

Liz is still spaced out and now I’m worried for her life on the outside. Will she self-sabotage to not have to deal with reality? And then there’s this event today that she is a very important part of, will she be able to pull it together?

Erica wants to cancel the event, did Amy die?? Channing isn’t calling it off, though; everyone’s there and it will go ahead as planned. I do not think that’s a good idea, there, CueBall. “Sort out your women, Erica!”

Bea is trying to calm Liz down, but our Peer Worker is getting even more agitated. The thing is, Ronnie is the one who is responsible for her kid being in danger, but Jacs is the one that calls the shots. You know what rushed through Bea’s mind (and mine) just then; will Jacs try to make her do that to Debbie? The women don’t look kindly on using kids in the prison, if Amy dies, Ronnie likely will as well.

Ronnie is led across the yard while women come at her from all sides with Dory leading the charge; Franky lingering behind and just watching, then looking at Jacs, who’s smirking in the corner.

Erica and CO Miles (Jacqueline Brennan) are in to see Jacs at her bunk; it SOUNDS as though the Guvnor is sharing the good news of Jacs’ husband Vinnie’s release, but it’s a threat; no more incidents or you won’t get to have a visit with your hubs. Jacs only faltered for a millisecond; she clearly didn’t know Vinnie had been let out, but she recovered soon enough to throw some more insubordination at the Guvnor before she took her leave. That’s the first time I’ve seen Jacs discomfited, hmmm

Everyone knows in the laundry room that Jacs gave the order to have Ronnie use her kid to bring in heroin, I guess Bea didn’t think about Jacs using Debbie the same way up there ^^^ as I did because she looks poleaxed when Dory shouts it out. Come on, Bea, keep up!

Jacs walks in then, big day! She’s getting her mister back. Franky’s lost a lot of her confidence, hiding on the other side of the room, which Jacs makes note of. Bea moves towards her, almost as a challenge, they were just talking about Ronnie, yeah? Jacs pffts, and hey, Bea, come see me later, will you? Have a job for you.

Liz and Bea are in to see Franky, what can Bea do? She’s in a no-win situation. Franky gives not one flying fcuk, barely looking up. Bea will have to sort it herself.

Will’s in to see Franky next; he says if she were nicer to the guards, things like her hand getting steam pressed wouldn’t happen. If it were anyone else and she were anyone else, I would think that was a pass, but he wants information about Meg’s killer. I LOVE how her eyes light up; she’s never as dour and withdrawn as she has been this episode. I mean, I get it, what with the hand injury and dealing with a lifetime of anger and regret about her childhood, I don’t expect juggling or anything, but it’s nice to see her interested. Even if only in tormenting poor Will, it must be frustrating not knowing, yeah? He comes at her directly then; which one of you guys killed my wife? And everything changes for Will when she says, dead serious now “what makes you think it was one of us?”

Here’s my theory so far; I have been suspecting new Guvnor Erica Davidson all along, due to her massive ambition but Vera Bennett was roundly humiliated the day of Meg’s murder as well and she even ended up as Guvnor temporarily, so. She can’t be dismissed; I just don’t see her as having that temperament, but more importantly, she was completely unprepared to take over. That’s more important than temperament, because given sufficient impetus; I imagine almost anyone could be driven over that edge. Except for me, Imma lover, not a fighter. To murder someone in the midst of all the chaos of a prison riot would take quick thinking as well as cunning and confidence. I don’t believe Vera has either of those, but Erica does. In spades.

Erica’s in her office going over the plan for the event with Liz, dismayed to learn that Franky won’t be speaking. Erica must have been planning to leverage Franky’s celebrity and hold her up as a prize example of the programs at Wentworth.

Liz doesn’t want to speak either, she was really flustered by the goings-on this morning and that beautiful “I’ve changed” speech has been replaced in her head by continuous flashbacks of her life before prison. We’re at Liz planning her MIL’s birthday party, this previous event had her worried and her anxious and her husband didn’t trust her either. I didn’t know Liz herself implemented the Peer Worker program, good for her.

Will’s watching the tapes of the prison parking lot the day before Meg’s murder; he sees something odd but we can’t quite make it out. A man approaches Meg’s car; he’s as tall as Fletcher but I think might not be white and there may or may not be a hug at the end. He wants a copy.

Erica and a male guard are in to see Franky now; she would really like Franky to speak today. Erica makes her ask nicely, and then agrees. She’s in.

Dory and Boomer are arguing over tipping into the pruno stash in the laundry room, to be caught by Liz. Oh.no. Now Liz is under pressure and not trusting herself and there’s that great confidence booster alcohol (kinda) just sitting there waiting to be drunk all at once.

She TORTURES us: will she drink as she did at her MILs party? Just a bit to calm her nerves? She takes a cup up to her lips….and then again…remembering that bad day and then…putting it back. She HAS changed.

Addiction is a beast, y’all.

Part of Liz’s problem is this; she has that perception of herself as a failure, which probably didn’t help her alcohol addiction but look around: nobody else sees her that way. She started an important program that actually helps, she’s seen as a keystone of this event; people depend on her and she earns that trust. She’s not that woman who drank to deal with fear or lack of confidence any longer, but sometimes that shadow self hangs over long after the sins have been paid.

Ah thank goodness, Ronnie’s Amy is okay, she will live. Erica tells the guards, and finally shouts down Matt who’s being an even bigger arse than usual. She asks Vera to stay after; she wants Deputy Guvnor Bennett to handle the guards from now on. No more messy opinion weighing for our new Guvnor Erica, she knows everything!  Vera hides a smirk and throws out a “I Told You So” to have a “back down your boyfriend Mattie, Vera!” tossed back to her. Oh ho, I hadn’t smelled that whatsoever!

Liz is still rounding up the women, what’s Franky going to say then? It’s time for Bea to see Jacs; won’t Franky at least send Boomer? But no, Bea needs to know what it’s like to live without her and that seems a little dramatic, innit?

Jacs just wanted a little hair trim from resident hairdresser Bea before her visit with her hubs, no need to worry! She hands a kit to Bea, which has hair shears innit and Bea fingers them while Jacs monologues into a mirror about discipline. Jacs bring up the incident from this morning; “imagine if it was Debbie?” offers Jacs and turns to see Bea shaking and holding the scissors.

She cautions Bea; lots and lots of words but it boils down to this: if you’re making a run at it, better make it good or I’ll bury you. Now, cut my hair!

One last thing; Ronnie wasn’t working for Jacs, she’s never use a child like that. SURE

Vinnie (John Bach) is on TV holding forth on police incompetence, then walking away with his hands on the arse of a young blonde who is very much NOT his wife Jacs who is watching it on TV in prison. I don’t think that haircut is going to make much of a difference, Jacqueline!

I love Boomer by the way; she’s definitely one of my favourites.

Bea returns back to her block to find Franky and the girls going over their speeches; ah Franky was worried that Bea was going over to Jacs’ side then, not just giving her a trim. Time to go!

Go Liz! You can do this! You got this!

I love to cheer people on; funny story: I stopped bowling in a league because one of the swinging couples on another team would follow me around telling me how much they liked my “positive attitude” and “encouragement.” My boobs have been given a lot of nicknames over the years, but those were new ones on me.

Speaking of boobs; Jacs is in strip search prior to her visit with Vinnie. Do you think he’ll bring his “fresh tart”? LOL one of the very few laughs on this show happens when Vera asks Jacs to show her hair “I’ve just had it done” but grudgingly complies before probing Vera’s sore spots. Still got that boyfriend? She’s in there almost as much as they are. Jacs goes on and on, but nothing of note until she farts on Vera. That’s the only time I’ve seen her come close to losing her cool. The joke’s on Jacs, though, we all know Vinnie doesn’t care what her hair or anything else looks like.

Franky’s up doing her speech, she mentions Guvnor Davidson first off and then flirts all the way through it, let’s see if she sold it well enough. Liz rabbits for the bathroom, or is it the laundry room for the pruno? Ah jaysus, they’re going to torture us some more. The day of her MILs party, Liz got schwasted and drove a tractor over everything and I FINK hurt her daughter? She comes back into the room after Boomer’s awesome Puppies in Jelly speech and she’s loaded. Ah Liz.

She starts off by hitting on the judge present (somefing about spunk? He doesn’t look all that feisty?) and segues to telling everyone about the events of the morning and Amy almost dying. I don’t know how much of that they caught, but enough I’m guessing.

Oh no, Liz didn’t hurt her daughter but rather Celeste (Anne Charleston); whom she drove over on her rampage.

Liz is sitting alone when the Guvnor comes in and screams at her; she has NO chance of parole now and maybe that was the point. It didn’t look as though she had a support system to go home to.

Vinnie has kept Jacs waiting, finally appearing at the prison to help taunt Vera. She asks how business went while he was on the inside; a carefully couched conversation follows. She asks who the girl is; some bit of fluff and she’s mostly angry that he’s out flaunting her in public. That undermines her in prison. He has some cheese for her, though, it’s extra-bitey.

Will’s watching the parking lot video on his phone in a club? That’s odd, isn’t it? It really does look like Matt, who is there drinking in the club WITH Will, so he shows Matt. At one point in the video, Matt drops Meg’s missing bracelet into her hand and huh. That’s what Will’s been looking for, what he thought would be his big clue as to who killed her. Thankfully he found that out before the internal searches. We get flashbacks from Matt along the way; were he and Meg having an affair? Is that why he got so stroppy about her kissing Will in her office? Did she leave that bracelet at his place or somefing, not in the corridor as Matt tells Will?

Will’s devastated; Matt’s his best mate (which makes it worse if Meg and Matt were banging, doesn’t it?) and he didn’t know any of this and now he doesn’t even have a lead. He tells Matt to “fcuk off” and ends up having sex with a friendly-looking girl in the bathroom. He’ll throw down all right, but NO KISSY! Her insistence on mouth-mashing leads to him yelling at his new friend and breaking down in tears again in the bathroom stall.

We get closing music as Jacs cries and traces the much-older lines on her face. I’d like to feel sorry for her, but I’ll have to take a hard pass on that.

Franky and Erica pass each other crossing the yard while Liz stares out the window of her wet cell. And we’re oot.

I dunno, guys, that was a tough one. Poor Will is out of control and not willing to get any help, poor Liz didn’t trust herself, and Jacs forgot that prison power doesn’t save you from the onwards march of time. Until next time: I will not look up Wentworth spoilers. I will not look up Wentworth spoilers. I will not look up…