We’re almost done Bodyguard on BBC One, can you stand it?? I cannot believe the ride we’re being taken on, let’s see if anything I guessed landed anywhere (probably not) in S1:E5 of Bodyguard after the break!

Oh ho, we’re not wasting any time on Bodyguard, are we? We open in Commander Anne Sampson’s (Gina McKee) office where Deepak Sharma (Ash Tandon) and his second Louise Rayburn (Nina Toussaint-White) share what they’ve learned about the bomb that blew up the Home Secretary Julia Montague (Keeley Hawes). The bomb was NOT in the Briefcase of Doom

So I guess I’ll have to stop calling it that. They still think that staffer Tahir Mamood (Shubham Saraf) was responsible, but for detonating, not setting the bomb. Deepak tells us the bomb was set up under the stage and was activated by pressure, i.e. when Julia stepped on stage.

Be a helluva thing if they did a dress rehearsal or checked the mics for sibilance, wouldn’t it? What I mean is: that’s leaving a LOT to chance.

So now they know that it couldn’t have just been Tahir (if it was Tahir), there would have to be another accomplice in the setting up part. Deepak has some ideas.

Cut to Julia’s former lover and Personal Protective Officer David Budd (Richard Madden) searching files on his work computer when a banged-up Tim Fenton (Richard Riddell) confronts him. They’ve just lost their pal Kim (she died in the explosion), here’s Mr. AllBusiness not even signing the card or nuffink. David offers to share a pint later, but Tom’s ears are up.

David gets a call from Louise as he’s leaving, she knows he felt responsible for what happened as he didn’t note anything amiss in Tahir’s briefcase so she lets him know that wasn’t where the bomb was.

He is proper emotional.

Someone watches David and Tim walk away for their pint.

Hey, the CCTV tapes from the school have also been tampered with, Louise is on it. David works on a sketch of “Richard Longcross” who visited Julia from Security Services while another artist identifies David’s friend Andy as the shooter who went after Julia with a sniper rifle.

Louise shows David Andy’s picture, which means they’ve not connected those two yet. She’s noticed how affected he is by the information and gently suggests he needs a bit of a chat with the police psychiatrist and a cuppa. When he refuses, she notes his use of the familiar.

Back to see the would-be bomber Nadia (Anjili Mohindra) with pictures of men hanging out in car parks, she and David both pause when Andy’s picture is shown. She finally says no and David breathes again.

As the interview ends, David pulls out the sketch of Richard Longcross, she positively identifies him as the man who gave her husband the “gift” of the bomb he later strapped to her body.

Oooh so Security Services was looking to shore up some job security with a terror run, were they? That doesn’t sound at all like the CIA training terrorists in the middle east.

Louise and Deepak discuss while David paces, finally bursting in to yell at them for moving too slowly.

Louise follows him out, she wants him to go see a doctor stat. He thinks it would undermine the inquiry, I think the bigger risk is the later disclosure of his condition.

David goes home to watch the news, Julia was buried in a low-key ceremony and NO WAY is she actually dead. She’s the Home Secretary! They’re attempting a coverup.

David retrieves the Memory Stick of Doom with the recording of Julia and the head of Security Services. Stephen Hunter-Dean (Stuart Bower) left Julia decryption instructions for a Tablet of Iniquity, David took some notes of the listed indiscretions.

He heads to an internet cafe in the Tenderloin to do some anonymous web searching, first up is the sexual assault of Charlotte Foxfield of Foxfield Leisure Centre.

Next up is the drug addiction of a transport minister, *more notes taken* then VV2 Holdings is researched. It leads to the Prime Minister, what can that refer to? A swank car pulls up in front of the internet cafe, David watches from safety as “Richard Longcross” (Michael Shaeffer) waits in the car while his men search the cafe. David gets the plate number.

His boss Lorraine Craddock (Pippa Hayward) calls Anne Sampson while spying on David at his desk, then comes over to strongarm him away from vast conspiracy theories, dangling an active part in the investigation to distract him.

That plate number was protected, of course.

Across town with Lorraine and Anne, David explains about the Tablet of Iniquity, those were apparently all scandals involving the Prime Minister.

Anne wants to know Cui Bono, who benefits?  David mentions Mike Travis (Vincent Franklin), Acting Home Secretary and they tie in Rob MacDonald (Paul Ready).

Unfortunately, David fears that Anne will use this information for political gain and not finding out who killed Julia, so he stalks out to talk to the physician who attended to Julia before she (totally didn’t) died.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Julia’s nemesis Roger Penhalgion (Nicholas Gleaves) is her ex-husband! I didn’t catch that at all! That explains the enmity.

Seems our Roger tried his best to get his hands on Julia’s belongings just before her (faked) death, so David’s off to see him next.

He’s not a Dave at all, is he? All David.

David’s uneasy and he’d like David to leave his political event, one quick chat and a threat later and David’s off again.

Another day, another anti-terrorism meeting, this one has Mike Travis asking the head of Security Services about Richard Longcross. Mike tries to throw his weight around, but Stephen’s not the least phased. “We all answer to someone.”

Ooooh

Roger’s come to see Mike, everyone is so dirty! DIRTY!

David is a walking target with impressive shoulders.

I thought David would go to see Mike, but it’s Rob he throws up against a wall. Rob goes right to the police to share his story.

He was part of a plot to “embarrass Julia politically”, his role was inserting inaccurate material in her speech.

Is that the weirdest euphemism ever for murdering a bunch of people with a bomb?

It’s just a COINCIDENCE that Tahir also set off a bomb when he told him to go up on stage!

David believes Rob, however, maybe he was just getting back at Julia for rejecting his advances.

“Richard Longcross” is leading the team surveilling every moment of David’s family and life, they’ll need to be bold to get access. Not too bold, there are kids involved!

Richard’s called to the head office where Stephen “Richard Longcross Does Not Work For Me” fills him in on the day’s briefing. He can’t believe some “bullet-stopper” got the drop on Longcross! But it’s the other way around.

*To be honest, I was hoping it was Anne Sampson there waiting for “Richard.”

Lorraine calls David into her office, an allegation of intimacy has been made between David and Julia. There’s a recording. She doesn’t want to prosecute him (for WHAT?) but rather tries to shut him down.

HE WILL NOT BE SHUT DOWN.

David calls his estranged wife Vicky (Sophie Rundle) to meet him outside the house to tell her about the affair before she found out the hard way, but he’s too late. An officer already poisoned the well and asked about hidden items. By “officer”, I mean “Longcross.”

I *hate* how David always yells at his tiny ex-wife. She always looks terrified.

David checks back in with Louise with the news of Longcross’s latest move, he takes the opportunity to ask to take over the investigation into his pal Andy. He promises pinky-swear to see the police counselor after this case is done.

David makes a call and meets a bloke in a rainy dark alley, offering 6 fancy small pistols for something deadly-sounding.

He gets home to find Louise waiting with bad news, Security Services has been to the safehouse searching. Everyone thinks he has the Tablet of Iniquity, including Louise. She orders him to be at Julia’s flat for a search at 08:00.

Fancy spacesuits on, they begin. After, David runs in to work to check the transportation log of Julia’s movements, Tom following his every movement.

Tom goes to Lorraine, David meets with Chanel Dyson (Stephanie Hyam), the staffer Julia fired four minutes into the show. She’s super flirty, they’re going to meet for drinks some time soon!

*David is only charming when he’s lying. He just shouts at the people he’s actually attracted to.

Of course David chose that cafe because he’d seen her there and the guy spying on him and Tom earlier is her driver, Luke Aitkens (Matt Stokoe). How does that tie in?

Seems our Luke is a big deal in organized crime, Louise and David spitball as to whether or not terrorism was just a smokescreen. Because increased electronic surveillance would also affect organized crime, Cui Bono indeed.

Tom shows up to collect David just then, Lorraine needs to see him right now. She’s sussed that he tried to shoot himself in the head, she’ll be taking his firearms license and placing him on indefinite leave effective immediately.

David thought Louise ratted him out, he screams at her and takes off into the night by himself.

*The music tells us it’s about to get very exciting.

He heads over to Julia’s house where he retrieves the Tablet of Iniquity and doesn’t even get hit on the head. What? And we’re out.

Sooooooooooooooooo. I like the money angle! I think most things are based in money or power, money being the liquid state of power after all. So who was it? Organized crime or Security Services? Both? I guess we’ll find out after next episode, which is the last! Until then, cheers!