This is it, the Fleabag finale and I’m so conflicted! I want to find out what’s going to happen but argh, I am not ready to lose my Fleabag forever! Regardless, I’ve thought about almost nothing else today (except for some exciting family news!) and I can’t wait any longer. What’s going to happen?? Rolling Fleabag S2:E06 after the break.

We get a quick review of the past five episodes, I tend to zone out when it’s not Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) and SexySwearyPriest (Andrew Scott) but I wake up for Godmother (Olivia Colman) because we all do. She’s gloriously terrible.

We wake up in bed with Flea and SexySweary, it’s as though she can’t believe he’s there.

She can’t believe he did that. Neither can he!

Time for the wedding! Dad (Bill Paterson) welcomes Flea and her sister Claire (Sian Clifford), it’s so good of them to come get him!

…but it’s HIS wedding! He’s…maybe dealing with some stuff. I prefer to think that he’s planning an escape from Godmother, who he’s marrying this very day.

Do the sisters they need him to say anything emotional about them? Hmm? Nooooo, no fanks.

Claire’s covered her midlife crisis haircut with a fake pony, Flea can’t stop touching it. Claire’s Finnish work partner Klare (Christian Hillborg) is leaving today, good thing because he’s crazy about her. It’s your basic nightmare. (It’s really not, she should leave her arsehole husband immediately and move to Finland.)

Godmother introduces us to several people inappropriately, she doesn’t know what sign language is and introducing someone by their sexual orientation is very 1975, darling. Her bisexual Syrian refugee friend is adorable, but the best part is when she realises she doesn’t know her fiancé’s name. He’s always listed as Dad, so I can’t even shout anything from IMDb!

*I got very excited then, are we going to find out Fleabag’s name?? Are we going to talk about that fact that we don’t know it??

Fleabag interrupts with her wedding present; I knew exactly what it was as soon as I spied the box.

Godmother takes Flea into the kitchen so she can extract a non-compete promise. Does Flea have a little show planned? Because you do not want to ruin this woman’s wedding day, she.will.cut.you. Interesting that she alludes to Dad’s deteriorating mental state for the first time, at least I assume that’s what she meant by the comment about taking care of him for the years to come instead of Flea.

“No more miscarriages.”

I knew the wedding present was the bronze booby bust that Flea stole from Godmother in season one, I knew it!! Godmother doesn’t even snap, but rather thanks Flea and explains to us all: that was based on Flea’s mother who died a couple three short years ago.

We all stop. And she gave it BACK!

Flea heads out for a smoke, running into SexySweary who screams because he thought she was a fox.

Foxes follow him. Apparently.

After the yelling, some awkward compliments.

Flea seems kind of bashful, she’s not looking at Sexy as much as he’s looking at her. He goes to get ready, but first.

He doesn’t know what this feeling is, in his chest! “Is it God or is it me?” He doesn’t know.

“Well f**k you then” she calls after. Just as he did to her the night they first met. Because this is a love story.

Ooh, schmancy digs!

But Claire is about to take the spotlight all the way away from Godmother and Fleabag and fancy priest robes. Godmother introduces Fleabag as her “unstable stepdaughter who’s just had a miscarriage *tummy pat+frown+sotto voice combo* and Claire jumps in to explain. That was her miscarriage and anyway; she didn’t want to have a baby with her husband Martin (Brett Gelman). Claire quotes Martin’s cruel words to Fleabag back to him; guess the baby didn’t want him as a father.

Godmother kicks everyone to the kitchen.

Flea follows Claire to the kitchen with Martin hot on her heels; Claire wants Martin to leave her now, please. He has a little speech prepared, leaning heavily on his actions vs. his personality. He’s not a bad guy, he just has a shitty personality!

*Hold on. How can you know you have a shitty personality and not do anything about it? Personality isn’t like shoe sizes, it’s not set at some point, it evolves. Otherwise we’d all be middle school arseholes trashtalking at the school playground even though we’re in our thirties and forties.

Martin drags his son Jake (Angus Imrie)’s creepy personality into the fray; that’s not a bassoon! That’s a cry for help!

Anyway. He thinks she loves him, so he won’t leave her until she gets down on her knees to beg him to leave her.

She does. Which means there’s only one thing more left to say.

It’s OVER.

More smoking outside and dreaming of making out with SexySweary and it’s time for the wedding! Except Dad is missing, Godmother sends Flea and her sister off looking.

Dad’s got himself stuck in the attic, a foot through the floor even. He went to check on a mousetrap; he wouldn’t want some poor mouse to be left suffocating up there.

*Meaningful pause, no direct eye contact*

They chat about whether or not he’s going to make a run for it, then it veers into personal territory. I cannot get behind someone telling their child that they don’t always like them. You take that shit to your grave; children are so easily wounded by their unknowing parents. Sure, maybe you think you’re keeping it real, your kiddo thinks they’re the worst kid ever. It’s devastating for them, DON’T DO IT.

Don’t do that either!

He does tell her she gets her unlikeable bits from her mother, maybe cling to those.

She frees his foot, he muses that maybe she knows how to love better than anyone. Perhaps that’s why she finds it so painful.

She does not think it’s painful.

Flea walks her dad up the aisle, why does it feel as though she’s marrying SexySweary? Godmother finally has to insist that Dad release Flea.

Flea urges Claire to head to the airport to find her Klare, a hilarious exposition on how unrealistic that would be allows me to love Claire just a little bit.

*It’s true, you absolutely could never do a running-through-the-airport scene these days, and the steps you’d have to take to arrange something even close would be unbelievably creepy at best.

Ahhh SexySweary does the best speech about love.

“When you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope.” Claire cries; Flea sends her off to the airport.

Flea and her dad have another nice moment, then Flea says good bye to everyone and we’re at a bus stop waiting for SexySweary.

The next three minutes are a series of crushing blows.

It’s God in his heart, that’s who’s making him feel things, it’s not her. And she loves him. She loves him.

I kind of hate him for even saying that out loud. Even with tears in his eyes.

And we all cry as he walks into the night.

I hope the foxes get him, which I said before this guy even showed up.

Aww yay, Flea took back the bronze bust of her mom! She walks in the opposite direction from Sweary as This Feeling by the Alabama Shakes plays us out.

It was such a good song, you need to hear it too.

There was one tiny wave at the end, so very Fleabag.

Now. On one hand, it’s lovely to see Flea off and happy, able to fall in love, her mother (sort of) at her side and no longer any need for us or chasing unavailable men. Because she’s not just walking away from the sexiest, sweariest priest ever, she’s also leaving us behind. We just have to find a way to be okay with that, even though I’m so sad she’s gone. Cheers everyone, that was rather a lot. I think I’ll ruminate for a minute before rushing this out.

It’s a shame the SexySweary couldn’t manage to lose his religion but I hate that he made me feel bad for him even as he broke Flea’s heart. But it’s not as though he wasn’t completely upfront about how unavailable her was ahhh whatever I want a pint of ice cream and another box of tissues.

I’m glad the end of this series wasn’t about Flea and Boo any more; she actually seems to be moving on as time has a tendency to help with.

I never know if it’s better to recap a show I connect with strongly (see Fleabag, Last Tango in Halifax, Come Home, Spotless and many more) or one I find merely entertaining. I get too invested in shows, then struggle to remain objective or sometimes: to even post about them (see RuPaul’s Drag Race). I had to spend an entire extra day processing this episode, season and series before writing these last 17 words and that seems…inefficient. I could have knocked off 6 Below Deck Mediterraneans during the same time and not been able to remember a single crew member’s name. But on the whole, I prefer shows that etch themselves on my soul, and this hilarious little gem, so incredibly intelligent, farcical and laden with pathos has done just that.

Thanks to everyone who’s been reading along and commenting on Twitter; special kudos to EB on Twitter and Facebook who first recommended this show. It always stays with me. Until we meet again.