Hi everyone, y’all recovered after last week’s devastating episode of Girls? I thought about it all week, but I gotta say: it was nice to see you know who, if even to say goodbye. He and Hannah have CRAZY chemistry. Rolling S6:E9 Goodbye Tour and WE ALMOST ARE, AREN’T WE?? I’m not ready!!
We open with a very content (and foxy!) looking Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) walking across campus, pregnant and glowing-ish and oddly smaller-sized for a pregnant woman. It happens. She sees a group of three talking on the grass and stops to talk to them. *unlocking lips action* She really did that.
She tells the youngs to enjoy the now, the friendship, because lust fades, but friendship doesn’t, if you nurture it.
She walks away to “is that someone’s mom?” “On I know – continuing education!” and here’s where my age is a detriment. She looks very young to me at 27, but that’s from the elderly perch of 44 so maybe to a 19 year old, she looks decrepit. Plus: she IS almost someone’s mom!
She’s interviewing for a job with Phaedra (Ann Dowd and all of sudden I’m crying: WHERE are we gonna see awesome actors like this? Like Tracey Ullman? Like Ophira Motherfcking Eisenberg??????? after Girls is gone? Damnit. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry this time) who took over this department looking to infuse it with young blood, with enthusiasm and hope.
And er, that. Hannah is exactly the person to teach the youngs about the wonder of the internet and by the way, she’s totally pregnant. Phaedra could tell because of breasts, Norman Mailer’s friend Jeff couldn’t get enough pregnant Phaedra back in the day.
She spreads some more joy on the way to the train and boards to listen to gangsta rap, like you would.
Phaedra calls: she got the job! Hannah asks for 24 hours to sleep onnit, this job is out of the city, course
Elijah (Andrew Rannells) can’t believe she’s even THINKING of leaving the city for health insurance and stability for the baby and stuff; that’s what crackheads do when they can’t see past the crack to their parents ushering them on a train! I missed the rest of what he said because he was chewing while talking and all the cringing ensued.
Okay, he swallowed and I can look again! They made a deal when they moved there (and he had chlamydia but let’s not dwell on where he got it from) to live and suffer and be miserable together! In New York! He proposed and everything! So don’t go thinking he’ll move away with her and Be Her Tad (beard) coz he’s not doing that!
Speaking of Tad! Tad (Peter Scolari!!! crying again. damnit. WHY DOES THIS SHOW HAVE TO END?? Why can’t I let go?? I might need to be bundled off out of the city myself) is totally pro-job
He and Keith (Ethan Phillips) will take the bus (but not really), bring wine and cheeses and culture and diapers and just gooooooo!
After some confusion as to what “come sleep with me” means, Elijah sings Hannah to sleep with half a Demi Lovato song and I don’t know how she’ll do it without him.
She can’t get hold of Marnie (Allison Williams) because she’s working on her own shite; two women in a store talking about their friendship makes her stare, is she thinking about Jessa? She calls Shosh, whose number is out of service, what?
What’s been going on with Shosh (Zosia Mamet) anyway? She’s barely been in this season; just an adjunct to Ray’s search for meaning in his life. Like we care what RAY (Alex Karpovsky) is gonna do: gimme some Shosh! And maybe one Ray Damn The Man rant.
Elijah’s doing his 4th callback for White Man Can’t Jump the Musical; are they ready to commit or WHAT?
Hannah would just like someone else to make the decision for her and I’ll do it! Take the job! But then, that’s not really what Hannah would do. He just thinks he should have sex before she leaves (flash back to Hannah asking him to sleep with her and the ensuing hilarity) but she thinks her sex-pool choices are limited by her “condition.”
She wants someone else to make the decision for her (but in a way she can think it’s her decision); has she made enough of a mark on the city? Elijah reminds her that she’s made so many wonderful friendships.
Then they both laugh
He shows off his stolen yogourt; what is she doing breaking this up?
A really cute (really really cute) guy flirts with her on the bus; they’re getting off the same stop! And then he sees her belly…”do you need help walking up the steps, ma’am?” “The ma’am is a little much”
Lookit who’s on the step at home! It’s Caroline (Gaby Hoffman) and for whatever reason, I don’t hate her on sight. Maybe because I can now appreciate the glory of a woman her age being shown with a unibrow, wrinkles, grey hair and tooth gaps. It’s what actual people look like!
And then I remember why Caroline puts my teeth on edge because she does a theatrical releasing of Hannah into the wild; go! Go!
Hannah calls Marnie again, she’s not picking up. Wow, she looks great, though, why is she not talking to Hannah? What’s the gift for?
Hannah goes to Shosh’s apartment and this comes in waves:
Shosh is having a party
Shosh is having a party and didn’t tell or invite Hannah
Shosh is having an ENGAGEMENT party and didn’t tell Hannah because Hannah told everyone else she was pregnant except Shosh, who guesses that’s “just who they are to each other now.”
Shosh is having an ENGAGEMENT party and Marnie is there!
AND SO IS ELIJAH! WHAT??
Shosh is marrying Byron (Justin Leong), who has moved in with her and looks a little bit like her Asian love from last season.
Oh and Jessa’s there because of course she is.
Marnie drags everyone into the bathroom to workshop them back into who they were, but they’re not, are they? As always, Shosh truth-bombs the Girls and leaves just a powdery smudge where their friendship once was.
They’re not the same people they were; Hannah’s starting a family (in a totally Hannah way and it’s a boy!! I didn’t know anything about boys either, Hannah, but now I’m an expert, or like whatever the opposite of that is), Elijah got the part in White Men Can’t Jump The Musical, Shosh is getting married, Marnie’s trawling pro-ana websites and handing out business cards and Jessa, well, Jessa quit school because she realised she wasn’t quite ready to help anybody else out just yet.
Finally, FINALLY: Jessa and Hannah make up
and hang out and formerly furious Shosh (at Hannah’s crashing. In overall shorts) even chills a bit and everyone is dancing and their movement are just the same and it’s beautiful and so sad but mostly just: moving on.
Hannah is on the outside looking in on her friends, because she’s decided to move upstate, where people don’t shit on the street (don’t kid yourself, henny) in front of other people (we all know Jessa is a street-pooper for SURE) and she can raise her baby in an actual house.
We get a montage of Hannah driving away; I’ve just realised we’ve never seen her drive, right?? And everyone dancing and she’s setting up her house and it’s like she’s bringing them all with her and she looks so ADULT and yet still Hannah and it got so misty there again.
You can’t watch Girls and not note the gorgeous music; Hannah sang along to “Crowded Places” by Banks and I motherhumping DARE you to not cry while you listen. It’s about being scared and finding your person, even if that person is you and I don’t ever remember Hannah singing along with the end song before so: notable.
AND WE’RE NOT EVEN DONE THE SEASON! Until next time, which is the last time ever, see you then. Cheers