Welcome back to my recapping of Happy Valley series 3 with Sarah Lancashire and Siobhan Finneran, rolling straight into it after the break!

I know. I know the Happy Valley finale has aired and it’s blown everyone’s minds but really what that means is I can’t go on any social media except on my own profile and you know what that is? It’s boring, my friends, just looking at my own stuff is endlessly dreary and so! I must get caught up on Happy Valley so LET’S DO THIS!!

Omigosh I am so happy, I finally have names for the drug thugs I’ve been talking about for the last three episodes!!!

We open with a frantic Ivan Sertic (Oliver Huntingdon) and Matija Jankovic (Jack Bandeira) speeding away from their pal Josip Matic (Anthony Skrimshire) being arrested by our very own Sergeant Catherine Cawood (Sarah Lancashire!) before they could murder him on the orders of their crime boss Viktor (Anthony Flanagan).

So they didn’t manage to murderously tie up that loose end but there’s also a wee wrinkle in that Ivan and Matija haven’t been very forthcoming with Viktor. They’ve made off with a bunch of money Josip took that actually belonged to the gang as a whole. Matija wants to make a run for it and disappear but Ivan is getting married on Wednesday, he can’t just run off! A couple of things:

• Ivan , perhaps this is a good time to think about your life choices and who they’re about to affect
• How is this still the same week????? It’s been ‘this upcoming Wednesday’ forever!!!

Back at the police station, a quiet and glum Catherine wraps up her work day. She got punched in the face by a man 30 years her junior and all that associated physical trauma, but I bet she’s more mentally exhausted by life right now. Her grandson Ryan Cawood (Rhys Connah) has been secretly meeting with his bio-dad; notorious murderer and rapist Tommy Lee Royce (James Norton). It’s worse than all that, it’s been with the assistance of Catherine’s sister Clare Cartwright (Siobhan Finneran) and her boyfriend Neil Ackroyd (Con O’Neil).

Catherine has drawn a line in the sand: Ryan can continue to live with her as he has his whole life and NOT see Tommy, or he can continue visiting and stay with Clare and Neil.

All to say: Catherine is tired and sad and sore.

She’s not necessarily prepared for CID detective and Tommy Lee Royce survivor Ann Gallagher (Charlie Murphy) who lies in wait for her outside the station. Ann is FUMING that they’ll not be charging Josip with the rape of the young woman who fell out the widow previously, hold on a bit of history:

Here’s what I said before:

• The entire police department has been working on the case of a (I think blind) woman who fell out the window in the same block of flats where Allison Garrs (Susan Lynch) lives and pointed out the flimsy windows last time. Quite a lot of money was found in the woman’s flat. This is how the drug thugs (my kingdom for a name!) got on police radar and are now at risk from Viktor, who isn’t liking the high profile of the case. These are the same drug thugs putting the arm on Faisal. I’m just waiting for someone to say Darius Knevicwsn. Also, the woman was held hostage for weeks, when she fell out the window, it was thought she was trying to get away, not commit suicide.

Ann is practically spitting with rage at the thought of Josip not being charged with rape, which absolutely is a straight line back to her abduction and rape by Tommy Lee Royce. What she may not be aware of is that this is also a trigger point for our Catherine, whose daughter was raped/impregnated by Tommy Lee under what she believes were similar circumstances.

There is some confusion as to whether or not Catherine’s daughter Becky was actually dating Tommy Lee at the time of her becoming pregnant and whether it was rape or rather Catherine’s inability to believe it could be consensual with someone like Tommy. What we know for sure is that Becky committed suicide right after giving birth to Ryan and that destroyed Catherine’s marriage and has directed the rest of her life.

So, all that to say: this is a very difficult conversation for Catherine and Ann, but I don’t think Ann understands why.

Catherine stays calm and explains the odds of a successful prosecution then asks what we’re all thinking:

Catherine asks if Ann ran the license plate number of Ivan and Matija’s car; Catherine spotted them watching the police very carefully while they arrested Josip. But Ann did not run the plate, writing them off as rubberneckers, earning a tart reply from Catherine as she takes her leave. Ann’s “sarcastic bitch” and Catherine’s “filthy sod” murmured individually end their time together.

We’ve heard quite a lot about a shady underworld member by the name of Darius Knezevic (Alec Secareanu) but we’ve yet to meet him. Viktor has just thrown Darius bodily into the picture by telling Ivan and Matija that they will be explaining themselves to Darius himself shortly.

Writer Sally Wainwright is magnificent in weaving together complicated tales; this series is no different. These drug thugs Ivan and Matija, have been threatening a local pharmacist who has been selling drugs on the side. This pharmacist and budding drug kingpin is Faisal Bhatti (Amit Shah) and he’s also been schtupping and supplying drugs to a woman named Joanna Hepworth (Mollie Winnard). Joanna is married to a nightmare of an abusive asshat named Rob Hepworth (Mark Stanley) who is Catherine’s grandson’s Ryan’s football coach.

*Deep breath

Rob Hepworth called the police when he found Faisal’s drugs on Joanna. It was our Catherine who arrested Joanna and sent the drugs for analysis.

AND. Faisal felt under so much pressure from the drug thugs to clean up the mess of this arrest and his drugs being analysed that he just murdered Joanna! MURDERED!

Joanna had an awful life. She did not deserve to have it end like this.

We’re now with Hepworth about to enter his house and find his wife murdered, 10 bucks says he’s suspect number one. Catherine definitely noticed the bruises he’d inflicted on his wife, she won’t be able to not notice the fresh ones he gave her as well. But no. Joanna’s body is gone. What has Faisal done with it?

It’s time for Catherine’s confrontation with Neil, Clare’s boyfriend who was entirely behind enabling Ryan to see his dad.

She prowls the aisles of the store he works at as he swallows more and more of his tongue in fear. This is how everyone looks when they’ve earned Catherine’s ire.

Oh goodness. It’s just that Catherine knows more about Becky’s death than any of us know, including Neil and Clare and Catherine’s son Daniel and she would like all of us to trust in her and understand the depth of destruction that follows in the wake of Tommy Lee Royce. She extracts a promise from Neil to not take Ryan to Tommy any longer but still that leaves the central problem. Ryan wants to see Tommy and will do whatever he can to do so. He bullied Neil about it for ages until Neil finally agreed to take him.

In fact, Tommy Lee asked Neil to bring Ryan to court this week in Leeds, but Neil said no. Catherine’s ears go up; why would Tommy want Ryan there for a simple court sentencing?

I immediately thought: Hepworth will take Ryan. Hepworth has a pattern of taking in latchkey boys under his wing, first with abuse then false praise and inappropriate confidences. He’s been trying to work his magic on Ryan, who has a certain vulnerability given his unusual father situation.

Tommy Lee is shaved in prison and his christ-like hair cut to a length that will perhaps make him look respectable to a certain sort of person.

*I wonder what it’s like walking through life with so much beauty just all over you like that. I think of that with conventionally attractive people all the time, a lifetime of people not able to look you in the eye except for those that can’t look away.

Catherine gets home to her ex-husband Richard (Derek Riddel) looking entirely too comfortable at her kitchen table with a cuppa. Allison Garrs (Susan Lynch) is outside working on Catherine’s Land Rover, she was one of our series two murderers but is now out of jail and apparently getting quite chummy with Catherine. Richard is unsure.

Catherine asks Richard to attend Tommy’s sentencing to find out why on earth Tommy would like his son there to see it. Richard would be interested anyway, being a reporter investigating Darius Knezevic, whom he’s doing his best to tie Tommy’s crime to.

A quick reminder: we started Happy Valley series 3 with Catherine looking at the body of poor Gary Gackowski, his killing tied to Tommy Lee Royce and the murder of Ashley Cowgill in series 1. Ashley was killed by two men on a motorcycle with the same gun that killed Gary, the police and Richard think the motorcycle murderers were Darius Knezevic and his older brother Zeljko Knezevic (Greg Kolpakchi).

Richard has an interview with Darius tomorrow, ostensibly about Darius running for Bradford City Council but mostly so Richard can get a read an our drug overlord cum budding politician.

First an extremely nervous Ivan and Matija get to meet with Darius and Zeljko, Darius beating up and literally pissing all over Ivan before Viktor intervenes on his and Matija’s behalf.

Darius gives them another job, one that requires brains and precision timing because that makes sense after they messed up this one so badly. They’re dressing up and going to Leeds.

Neil tries to explain to Ryan that perhaps neither he nor Clare will be taking Ryan to see Tommy, if that’s okay? Ryan doesn’t answer.

Ryan’s coach Hepworth is also trying to figure out what to do, he talks his mother into taking care of his two daughters, is he incapable of talking to women without yelling?

Catherine left Joanna a message about her arrest and the drugs. When Hepworth hears it, he calls Joanna’s phone, which is on the floor in the kitchen, just around the corner. He doesn’t find it.

Agitated, he rushes his daughters out the door and mishandles traffic, crashing into the back of…Faisal. They’re neighbours! Of course Hepworth is angry and racist but Faisal works hard to calm him down.They can handle this without aggression.

You’ve got to admire the sheer nerve.

Yes, Faisal, he may have the disappearance of his wife on his mind, since YOU disappeared her!

Catherine finally picks up the phone when Clare calls for the 100th time, Clare stumbling through an offer of support for Joanna to be abruptly told where to shove it by Catherine.

Clare moves into a halting apology about the Ryan Situation, to be cut off by Catherine who’s just spotted Ann Gallagher leaning against the wall smoking in the same spot she was last night.

Catherine is bringing in her spare uniform, just two more days until she retires in this week that feels like four years in 7 days! Thursday they can all kiss her ample arse goodbye!

Catherine switches back to Clare; oh thank goodness, she’s still angry but she’s forgiven Clare enough to discuss the strangeness of Tommy Lee asking Ryan to come see him in court, let alone go bungee jumping one day.

Speaking of, Ryan’s on his way to Leeds all by himself on the train. They show it at the same time as Tommy Lee being brought out in shackles, with Catherine in another shot explaining to her boss that she thinks Tommy will try to escape. All because he talked about bungee jumping with Ryan as though it was possible, Catherine knows the odds of Tommy ever getting out of prison legally are infinitesimal.

Her boss Mike Taylor (Rick Warden) doesn’t believe Catherine, more pity him. The prison doing a risk assessment doesn’t reassure her.

Rob Hepworth calls just then to draw her attention. He starts shouting at her about hiding his wife from him, which prompts a lot of uncomfortable “why” questions for him. It doesn’t take long for Catherine to become concerned, Joanna is a vulnerable person who has been missing for an undetermined period of time.

Just then, Joanna’s parents Tim Fielding (Paul McEwan) and Mrs. Fielding (Marie Critchley) show up at the police station to report Joanna missing. They are much more worried about Joanna than her husband, who is mostly concerned about himself.

We get Joanna’s whole history, can I be blamed for wishing we’d known this when she was alive? Well. I guess we didn’t see her die. Just almost die. We do learn that Joanna was legally prescribed diezepam, Rob just wouldn’t let her take them and that’s when she had to go find another supply.

They definitively identify Rob Hepworth as the person Joanna is at most risk from.

In Mike’s office, he’s trying to understand what Joyce (Isha Bennison) is asking about Catherine’s leaving ‘do. She’s been collecting money for Catherine, to the tune of 2000 pounds! Even people she’s arrested have come by to throw in, she’s very popular in certain circles.

Anyway, Joyce’s quandary is this; should she:

• slip her the cash like she’s buying skunk
• buy her something, do a presentation and have a cake
• have a party at a pub and if Catherine doesn’t show up, sleep off all the booze and swing round with the cash

Wooooo #2, everyone likes cake! Even Alien Life Form Liaisons!

Catherine herself interrupts to ask to elevate Joanna to a Missing Person officially, she’s got Rob sorted as the perpetrator but did ask if Joanna was seeing anyone else, so, who knows.

Missing Persons calls Hepworth right away and asks for his presence at home to discuss, Hepworth continues to downplay Joanna’s disappearance which is doing him no good at all.

Tommy has made it to court! As have Ryan, his grandad Richard, Ivan and Matija, all dressed up as directed.

That was just a great shot!

Tommy looks ecstatic to see his son in the audience, it’s so noticeable that Richard strains to see who Tommy is beaming at but Ryan tucks in and isn’t yet spotted. There is a weird moment when the judge walks in, I can’t see why.

DC Hayes (Andrew Tiernan) is waiting when Hepworth gets home; he listens and asks questions, noting the locks on the cupboards and fridge. There is one awfully full suitcase in the garage that Hepworth notices but says nowt about.

He waves off DC Hayes and unzips the suitcase to find Joanna as all hell breaks loose at the courthouse with Ivan and Matija starting a fight to distract the police. Tommy climbs out of the prisoner box quick as you like as Ryan and literally everyone else watches. Nobody stops him and he makes it out of the building shouting Police!

Tommy heads to a bodega where a change of clothing awaits him and emerges a helmeted cyclist with large sunglasses, riding away alone and uncontested.

Well, I see. That’s a bit ridiculous that there were exactly two police persons in the entire courtroom and all Tommy needed to get free was a bit of spandex and the ability to climb two feet higher than his head.

I love that even though I am aware this is a work of fiction, I was relieved that Catherine was staying focused and above the noise of everyone else’s shenanigans. You can always tell when the light goes on in her head and I love seeing Sarah Lancashire embody exactly that.

I am sad that Joanna is overshadowed in death as she was in life by an abusive asshat of a man. Until next time, everyone, cheers.