Invite Only Cabo S1:E5 Dirty Little Secret Recap

We've got a new friend coming for a visit on Invite Only Cabo and there is alllllls the trepidation from TeamBanks as to who it will be, let's find out!

We're back where we left it; with Jermane Britton, Agu Ukaogo and Malaku Quisada breaking down their friend and host's recent revelation for Bianca Banks: Larry likes someone. A lot. And it's not Miss Bianca, whom he just gave a birthstone ring to on her birthday. Never MIND the 16878687 times they tell each other they love each other every day. Dang.

Bianca takes that exactly like you would.

Oh! But she hears the guest downstairs, that's not a mystery person that Larry secretly likes/loves: that's AJ!

Fellow vacationer Emily Moses HATES Aj and the feeling seems to be very much mutual, Bravo, did you do this? Hmm? Emily calls her AK

And is super tense.She's monologuing at Kumani Alana in the bathroom when Aj comes in for a Ho Bath. OF COURSE she uses the one clean towel, and yeah...you don't want to do a ho bath with a dirty towel, that's just nasty.

Then Emily says towel 147 times as Aj and I wonder if there is no laundry service in this mansion in Cabo San Lucas.

Um

We don't have to WATCH Aj do her ho bath, do we? Well. We do see her entire nekkid bum while she's standing next to a bunch of obviously clean towels, so Bravo is definitely breaking new ground this season!

Speaking of breaking new ground, Larry sure likes Bianca's dress!

Wow, we're not wasting any time getting to the Aj/Emily showdown; everyone is getting ready to go for supper and Aj mentions Agu's one night jump off with Emily and suggests he "be more selective." Emily is UP and ready to fight.

Larry told Aj about the hookup on the way back from the airport, gurl, why would you do that?

Oh man. Aj jumps all over Agu and Emily; backing up what she said by explaining that it was about Agu's poor choice to have a one night stand, NOT that it was with Emily.

Not one person in the world believes it wasn't also about Emily. NOT ONE.

Apparently Aj is a Life Coach; I'm guessing she's one of those people who stand over top of you and shout about your choices and how you are the only one who can help yourself. SHE ASKS EMILY IF SHE HAD HER HEAD BETWEEN AGU'S LEGS AND THEN CALLS HER A LIAR WHEN EMILY DENIES IT.

WHY does Emily have to answer for her actions to this woman who wasn't even here? Not even part of this group? WHY? She's not Emily's boyfriend Joseph, who for SURE deserves a quiet talk off camera, she's someone who literally showed up half an hour ago and she's ASKING EMILY ABOUT HEAD??

Jeebus wept.

Since Larry was clearly the source of this information, Emily's looking at him like "WTF man??" but it's Malaku who pulls the plug. He does not like the loud and he does not like the profanity. Let's go to dinner!

Larry pulls Aj aside while everyone else heads in, yeah he needs to fix this! What were you thinking?? It might be the first time most of us have met Aj, but it's isn't yours! Aj agrees to apologize to Emily and see how she reacts, even if she believes in uncomfortable truths.

I think I have a close relative who is an Aj: uses the truth like a hammer, completely tone-deaf to situations and at the ends finds herself blameless every.single.time someone suggests that explaining all of someone's faults to them in front of a crowd is ill-advised.

Inside Emily is looking for support from the others; she's not getting it from Bianca, who thinks Aj is just protecting her reputation. Um

I get that Bianca doesn't want to take sides, but Emily's past is making her an unlikely underdog and nobody wants to stick up the unhygenic lush jamming out with her clam out all over Agu.

Larry feels bad so he pulls Emily aside; because of course it's his fault. He didn't think Aj would use that downlow info he gave her but of course she would, since Emily's had to swallow her shit for 5 years. Why wouldn't she use this now?

Aj apologizes to the table while Emily and Larry are away; when they get back Emily shuts her down. This is enough for tonight. DUN. Club time!

Emily's found Agu's hat and she's wearing it while grinding next to the stripper pole and exposing Larry's nips to the world, Kamani is not happy. That's Emily being too free with Agu and I get what you're saying, Kamani, but Emily is nowhere near Agu. He's sitting right next to you. I'm just going to say this: Kamani, you're mature, you're wise, you are going to be disappointed if you move forward with Agu. He's haaawwwtttt and super nice, but he just doesn't seem to be at that same stage in life, ya know?

Emily's been chewing on her nails (seriously! Whole finger in her mouth! STAHP) and watching Bianca and Aj talk: she's astonished. Emily and Bianca end up in the bathroom at the same time; Emily can't believe Bianca didn't stand up for her!

Did I mention that Bianca and Aj have been friends for a long time? And she just met Emily two weeks ago?

Bianca disagrees, but it doesn't get resolved until the following morning poolside, where they hash stuff out in front of Larry, who suggests that Emily talk to Aj.

Aj's done her workout (MAD respect for the amount of work she clearly does on her physique: she looks STRONG), can she make anyone a protein smoothie? Emily takes a hard pass and soon it is time for Aj to go. Emily pulls out a classic to go with her celebratory shot.

Emily and Agu go to work out but Jermane's got some more to say. He was on Agu's phone earlier, guess who's been texting Agu? There is no way these two aren't going to hook up again if Emily has anything to say about it. But. Joseph? Well, that relationship can't be all that awesome if she's doing her level best to hump Agu.

Agu ordered in Chinese food for supper and everyone's chill until Larry brings up the Aj sitch: he never would have invited Aj if he knew how bad it was with her and Emily. Kamani (sans neckbrace and looking BEAUTIFUL, honestly, all these people are almost hard to look at they so pretty) in particular would like to hear Larry's thoughts, but Jermane has his own plan of action if that ever happened while he was a host.

Which makes everyone but Larry laugh; it feels like judgement. But Jermane didn't mean it that way, he's just giving his opinion. Then Bianca distracts everyone by calling Aj "coarse" looking and the tension is gone. Woot! Hot tub time!

Agu decides the next logical step is to get butt nekkid and show Kamani what she's missing; he just doesn't get her at ALL. Yes she has enourmous foobies and likes to refer to herself in relation to various expensive cars, but this woman is Classy. No tea no shade, just classy and a mom besides. She's not into middle school moves but you know who is? Drunk Pinto Emily!

The next morning Larry talks to his agent while Malaku and Jermane golf; Jermane is just there for the photo op, boo! I think I'd be like Larry, I can't relax that long, I'd be climbing the walls without work to do. Although, this kinda IS work, maybe? They get paid?

It's the Day of the Dead! They head to town, where Agu and Kamani head to an art gallery and Emily and Bianca head to the bar. Bianca's been mulling over what Jermane told her about this other mystery person with Larry's heart:  she thought they were besties, why did she not know anything about it?

Oooh Larry has a surprise planned for Emily's birthday: he's flying Joseph in! Dun dun DUNNNNN!!

Emily's birthday starts out naked: who sleeps nekkid in a shared room with someone you just met?? Emily! And Larry made her breakfast, awwww! He's taking her an on adrenaline junkie swing thingy?

Emily wants to hit 45 with a bang and WUT? Emily and I are pretty much the same age (I'm 45 in December) and I am SO EXCITED  that Agu smashed this 45 year old woman. I HAVE A SHOT! Never mind, I'm super rounder. BUT STILL.

Most everyone essentially jumps off a cliff for Emily's birthday

HARD PASS

Joseph is in the hizzay when they get back!

Emily's nervous, but so is everyone else: they all know something Joseph doesn't, what if someone slips? Emily would like all potential conversations texted to her so she can pre-approve, thanks!

Dinner is...awkward. But it's not just the Emily/Agu situation, it's that Joseph doesn't seem to have a personality. Bianca asks Joseph to express what he loves about Emily the most, Agu pushes it then chokes loudly during Joseph's answer. I mean.

Joseph asks Agu to go outside for a cigar while Emily's entire lower body clenches: should she be worried? UM YEAH. She sends Larry to go handle it and then knocks over a server trying to do the same. We're OWT.

Until next time! Cheers!

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