Hi guys! Welcome back to Invite Only Cabo where nature runs it’s course and Emily makes it through her birthday. Woot! Rolling S1:E6 after the break

We’re at Emily Moses’s birthday party; host Larry Sims has thoughtfully flown her boyfriend Joseph in to surprise her but he’s the only one at the table who doesn’t know that Emily and Agu threw down Day1. Joseph drags Agu Akuogo outside to share a cigar (so…many…gross…things…to…compare); looks like they have the same taste in smokes! And pole smokers

OH COME ON YOU KNEW I HAD TO

Also; he didn’t ask anyone else to go share a cigar: just Agu. Emily canea take the tension any more

And calls it a night. Larry thinks it’s safer, Joseph looks like he could just shoot everyone in the FACE. They get Larry’s room because he’s the best friend ever with the biggest outside couch ever!! It’s massive, I would live out there!

Time for breakie! Joseph and Emily make a huge meal for everyone while Emily explains that she gave him the best gift a reality star can give anyone: she acknowledges that “he deserves the right to handle his reaction.” So instead of telling him on camera in front of the WORLD, she’s going to tell him off-camera. She’s way smarter than she pretends.

Jermane Britton and Malaku Quisada are enjoying their dramz-free trip to the beach, gossiping like schoolgirls about Larry and his mystery love and how Bianca Banks is gonna react. Jermane will take “she’s gonna feel some type a way for 100, Pat.”

Sushi dinner! The food looks amazing but Kamani Alana isn’t digging how Agu and Emily are sharing

 

Emily starts to thank everyone for their discretion the previous evening with Joseph, SOMEHOW this segues into another massive fight with Kamani. How does this keep happening? Emily can’t talk about that first night at all without Kamani losing her shite and somehow: Agu never bears any of the blame. It’s just these two women fighting endlessly about whether or not A) Emily made mouth love to Agu and B) does she remember? and finally C) did Emily and Agu have a connection or just many, many drinks?

Kamani gets HEATED, Emily just does not understand why. Apparently, in Kamani’s world, if you roll up into a man’s bed in the middle of the night, you’re sucking his c*ck. That seems…hella specific, amirite? I’d assume messing, maybe, depending on level of inebriation but to tie it to one particular sex act means you might not know how unpredictable drunk people are. You can’t rely on them to do anything properly! Let alone remember to cover their teeth with their lips.

Jermane can’t take it any MORE! He’s out on the street, dancing with Malaku and he CAN’T! They come back inside to call it DUN but Emily’s just said that Agu is like her family and that has to be discussed ad infinitum.

Emily storms out, almost breaking the glass door and apologizing profusely while everyone else shakes their heads. Time for the club!

Emily’s drunk already, the gang is having a tonne of fun but she’s in the corner chewing and spitting her nails out again.

Kamani and Agu are dancing; she’s dance and grind on him, but she won’t kiss him.

She likes Agu; but she’s a mom and she needs to take it slow!

Emily’s had enough, she heads to the car to pass out and Larry calls it for the night. Kamani doesn’t like that, but why don’t a bunch of them go in the OTHER car?

Bianca is trying to sit down, but Emily is laid across the back and it ain’t happening. Agu switches places with her and we know where this is going…

Agu’s talking about his blue balls, Larry chimes in his balls are full right now too. WHILE STROKING BIANCA’S EARLOBE,

W

T

F

If a man ever did that

They take a selfie and Emily falls back into Agu’s lap, her head in his lap. Agu laughs then…his hand goes up Emily’s skirt. Bianca takes a picture with Larry’s phone.

Larry has HAD it! He’s HAD it with Agu skating while Kamani and Emily fight, he yells at Agu and honestly: he’s just tired of the DRAMUH.

They get back to the house; Kamani doesn’t know what happened so she’s still vibing with Agu, who knows he’s on borrowed time. Bianca is furious that everyone but Kamani knows what’s going on.

I don’t think Emily is ready to be in a relationship either, hey? Joseph left that morning and she was waiting alllll night to get on Agu. She might love Joseph very much, but she isn’t ready to settle down.

Kamani is in a great mood the next day; beach time! First she does Emily’s roots; they talk about the fight and the car ride home but they leave out the skirt part. Emily made me laugh out loud; she doesn’t need to follow Girl Code because Kamani should have been using her mouth (???) and also

Larry tells Agu what to tell Kamani, and he does try! But Kamani is focused on getting to the beach early, can he talk to her then? Emily comes out of the bathroom and talk is over!

Kamani and Agu oil each other while everyone watches; we’re all feeling pretty shitty for Kamani right now. She has the cutest bum! That’s hers in the promo! They’re off and playing in the water while Bianca tries not to lose her mind. She takes matters into her own hands and forces Agu to talk to Kamani right NOW

Ah Kamani. Her face when she realises

That Agu couldn’t get anything from her, he went to Emily because he knew she’d be down and Kamani thought she and Agu were building something.

Kamani cries in the bathroom to Bianca while Agu waits outside the door; she does not want to talk to him again. Ever if possible. And she won’t be sharing a room with Emily either, now Emily has to go back into Agu’s room.

Emily should just be calling Joseph right now; get it done, girl. Some times people should just be single.

Jermane, Larry and Malaku are talking to Emily who is frustrated because now she’s gonna get all the shit for Agu’s actions; this time she didn’t do anything and that is not going to matter. Jermane tells her to stop doing stuff, they all laugh when she says she is! Third bottle of water! But she looks panicky.

Call Joseph, Emily. Before you switch rooms.

Emily, Larry and Agu strategize in one car while Jermane, Bianca and Malaku laugh it up in the other

But Kamani is crying, stfu Jermane! Jaysus

Emily asks Agu to save her life (it’s not that serious, gurl!) and say Emily was just passed out in Agu’s lap, not trying to go down on him or anything. Larry’s not going to say that, he won’t lie and that’s why Emily is asking Agu, hahahaha

Larry takes Kamani for a talk in his room; did she really think Agu was her best option given what went down (and who went down) that first night?

Can I just say how AWESOME it is that this crazy passionate shite with Agu and a 45 year old woman is called “rockstar”? I can’t get past her age! I’m so happy to see a grown person shown! It has absolutely nothing to do with my age or the fact that I think Agu is hawt AF.

Kamani is thinking about leaving, course, Larry understands but he hopes she doesn’t go.

Emily cries; she’s figured out that she has to break up with Joseph before she goes in that room with Agu. There is no way nothing is going to happen, especially since those two can’t stay away from each other.

Agu pops some corn and heads out to talk to Kamani again; no she does not want to talk to you. He stands there, chewing popcorn while she blocks him out and now we’re out.

Now we’re on the clock; how many minutes until the Emily / Agu hookup? Do I even need all my fingers? Definitely not toes! Until next time, when Larry’s finally had enough and calls it for the trip. Cheers!