Lucifer S1:E7 Wingman recap starts now!

Cheeky devils and chocolate angels + spoilers ahead!

Alrighty, so we left Lucifer cranky last week after having his wings stolen from a secret container.  At Lux, Maze lures a stranger upstairs for a bit of hanky panky in the ultra hygienic, I’m sure, jacuzzi. She urges him downstairs (ahem), and he willing obliges until he realises that her hand is on his head and she’s actually getting more pleasure out of drowning him than anything else. Lucifer appears to interrogate him over the locality of his wings, and Maze gets to play dunkies a few more times. We find out his name is Sergei and he’s a known smuggler, but he knows nothing. Lucifer begins to doubt their method of interrogation and Maze grudgingly lets him go.

Chloe and Dan discuss the police officer who was shot, the one Chloe thinks was on the take. He’s been in a coma but his wife has decided to pull the plug, and Dan warns her she should stay away from the precinct for a day or so. He tries to strong arm her into closing her investigation so his family can claim his pension and benefits. Detective Douche is obviously not very good at his job if he thinks Chloe will let it go that easy.

Lucifer interrupts Chloe going through crime scene photos and queries her choice of hobbies, perhaps knitting or blogging might be the way to go. I might have made that blogging bit up, but it’s very rewarding in a totally non financial way. He asks her for some help and she knocks him back. He senses that she is actually distressed and offers a chat, or sex, whatever works ya know? She takes him up on the ear, not the d, and he tells her to keep going with her investigation. That is what she does for a living after all.

After his surprisingly stellar advice, Chloe hears him out. He wants to know what she does when she hits a wall in her investigation, and she tells him that she gets a pair of fresh eyes to have a look. After agreeing that this is a brilliant idea, Chloe starts to ask Lucifer what he thinks of her case, but he has already gone, leaving the door swinging behind him.

Instead of Chloe, Lucifer has called upon the Chocolate Angel (DB Woodside’s words, not mine) Amenadiel for help. They are on the beach, and Lucifer reminisces that his was where he landed, the place he flipped his dear old dad the grandest of birds. Where he severed his wings, the very same wings that have been stolen. He requests Amenadiel’s help, he needs a wingman, so to speak.

Lucifer just wants him to whiz about the city a bit, see if he can find the wings. But our delicious angel has his cranky robes on, and reminds Lucifer that he has been the one put in charge of hell since he left. He warns Lucifer that humans can’t handle the power of something so divine, I’m pretty sure he means the wings and not himself, and Lucifer agrees. Amenadiel asks why he even kept them in the first place if he was so intent on never going back, he obviously needed them as a backup if he changed his mind. Lucifer denies this, he just wants his property back. Amenadiel tells him that he wanted free will and accountability, so here it is, fix your own damn mess.

Having failed with Amenadiel, Lucifer goes back to Chloe and he tells her what was actually in the container. His angel wings, and Chloe laughs it up, asking what kind of cosplay is he actually in to? Realising he is serious, she tells him she’ll put out an APB on his wings, and he offers his help to her in return. She agrees, but unfortunately Douchey Dan has already agreed to help too. Also unfortunate is the fact he is not wearing his skin tight pink tracksuit this week.

They head to the crime scene, and Chloe asks if Lucifer and Dan can help her act out the scenario. Lucifer is the shady criminal, natch, and Dan is the dodgy cop. She tells them what she witnessed, Malcolm the officer and two shady dudes making a deal. Lucifer pulls out a handy wad of cash, to add to the realism of the scene, and Chloe continues telling them what happened. She watched the deal, leant forward to see if she could hear what they were saying and accidentally made a sound. Malcolm heard, and Chloe is positive he saw her, but he didn’t react. Next minute, bullets were flying, the two shady dudes ending up dead, and Malcolm bleeding out on the floor.

Lucifer tells her it doesn’t make sense, why would they kill their golden goose of a copper? Possibly there was someone else there, but no trace was ever found. Douchey tells her that maybe she was wrong all along. Douche. He gets a call, and asks Chloe if she really put out an APB on wings. Lucifer’s eyes light up, pleased that it’s his turn to play lead detective. Now I’m thinking Sherlock Holmes cosplay. Is it getting warm in here?

The wings have come up for sale at a black market auction, along with few other dodgy religious items. The FBI have plans to raid the auction, and Lucifer can get the wings back in 30 days provided he can prove they are his. There was a fair few chunks of DNA left on them I must say *herk*. Does the Devil even have DNA?

Lucifer and Amenadiel suit up for the auction, and he lets him know about the FBI’s plans to confiscate the wings. Lucifer greases the palm of a security guard who is not fooled, until Lucifer brings out his fancy coin and shows it to the security camera, and they are granted entrance.

Chloe and Dan head to the hospital, where Dan shows her the human side of Malcolm’s case. His wife Victoria from Young and the Restless spots them and rips into Chloe, and tells them to GTFO, don’t make her call her father Victor Newman! Oh, hang on, I may have confused that bit.

They are shown upstairs to the big bosses room and after viewing the coin, the auctioneers offer to put the coin into the auction. Amenadiel asks if he has any kind of faith or respect for the things he is selling, and big boss replies that he has respect for the monies! Amenadiel is disappoint. Lucifer tells him the coin is not for sale, and asks about his wings but unfortunately big boss is not feeling like giving them back. Guns are drawn and Amenadiel tells them they can shoot them if they like, guns have no impact on them. Uh well, Amenadiel, Lucifer might have something he needs to tell you. Big boss gives him permission to bid on the wings, but nothing more.

They head down the the auction and Lucifer lets Amenadiel into the secret of his growing mortality, much to his glee. He can now take just wait for some kind of thug to end him, and he’ll end up right back in hell. Just made Amenadiel’s millennium. The auction begins and first on the block is St Paul’s chains, which Lucifer and Amenadiel agree would never have fit on the old Patron Saint of Dessert’s wrists.

Chloe arrives looking smoking, having used her mojo to sneak in. She tells Lucifer the FBI is on their way, and realises that Lucifer isn’t alone. He introduces her to his brother Amenadiel and she is as impressed as the rest of us. The wings are the next up, and the crowd is enchanted by their gorgeousness, Chloe included. The FBI arrive and the crowd are contained. Chloe sees the big boss leave, and follows him out the back but finds only a brick wall. Lucifer begs Amenadiel for help, and he slows down time long enough for Lucifer to get to the wings. He takes a closer look, they’re a fake.

Chloe is still out the back feeling up the brick wall, until she finds the secret door. She heads back out finds Lucifer, cranky again about being tricked by the fake wings. He tells her they must have been switched out, and that it can’t be a coinkidink. Chloe tells him she’s headed back to Malcolm’s crime scene, but he refuses to help, telling her his role play days are over. Damn it, I just found my deerstalker hat too.

Detective Douche does some accidental detecting at the crime scene, and steps on a creaky board. Chloe has a hunch that someone else was there that day and Dan may have just found their escape route. They pull up the board and find a tunnel that leads up to the street, and there is a key marked 999 in there. A key that is issued by the LAPD. Another cop was there, and chances are it was them who shot Malcolm.

Big auction boss is at home when his doorbell rings. Here’s Luci! He tracked him down after discovering that his identity is fake, no bank accounts, no property in his name. He goes in and finds his wings in a glass case mounted on the wall, like some decorative stag head. Uh oh, Lucifer just got out his angry pants. Big boss begs to let him keep them, he can’t live without them, but Lucifer roars “THEY’RE MINE!” and I think big boss is now the one who needs new pants.

On the beach, Lucifer is having a smoke, his beautiful wings laid out behind him. Amenadiel appears, and offers to take the wings back to heaven, and asks him if he’s changed his mind about going back. “Not exactly.” Luci says, launching his ciggie over his shoulder. The wings go up in flames, bringing Amenadiel to tears.

Lucifer has discovered that is was Amenadiel himself who organised the theft, in an attempt to lure Lucifer home. “It almost bloody worked!” Lucifer tells him. The out he left himself to get home had to go, he doesn’t need it anymore and is never going back to Hell. Amenadiel embraces his dark side and launches himself at Lucifer, landing a few punches. He stops and tells Lucifer that this is far from over, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get him back.

At the LAPD, a memorial is taking place for Malcolm. Chloe comes in and every prepares to kick her tiny little ass, until she apologises and tells them that she was wrong, and Malcolm was a hero. She tells them she’s closing the case, and raises a drink in a toast to Malcolm. The others join in, and she and Dan head to a corner. She tells him it’s best that they don’t know that she’s now looking for the actual dirty cop who killed Malcolm.

Lucifer is sullenly playing the piano, and Maze tells him that she cleaned up his mess on the beach. He tells her he is staying, and apologises for her being stuck here too. Even with all the sex, drugs and more sex he knows that it’s not where she wants to be. Maze tells him “I am with you Lucifer, from now until the end. We’re a team. Right?” Team Sex and Drugs FTW!

Lucifer drinks the fourth of several shots lined up on his piano, and Chloe arrives. Lucifer tells her he has had a little squabble with his bro, and is not seriously banged up. She tells him that she still doesn’t know what the wings meant to him, but she is his friend, and knowing that they mattered is enough. Lucifer tells her the wings are old news, just a relic, worth only what someone was willing to pay for them.

Maze has managed to save a feather from Lucifer’s wings and keeps it stashed in a little sliver box. Directory assistance? I’d like the number of the closest cloning lab please.

At the hospital, Malcolm’s life support is switched off. His wife is inconsolable as the breathing tube is removed. Until, a hand appears against the window of his room, and his heart begins to beat. The doctor rushes over, it’s a miracle! Of the chocolate angel variety. The best kind in my opinion.