Welcome back to what I THOUGHT was the penultimate episode of Mr. Robot; IMdB tells me there may be 12 this season instead of 10 as last time. Will take! Things got smashy last time with the B Team, hopefully we’re back with Elliot in his actual location this time and we find out some more about what the eff is going oon. Rolling S2:E9 eps2.7_init_5.fve after the break!

We’re back at Elliot’s apartment and ahhh, that’s where Flipper went! Elliot (Rami Malek) was arrested by approximately one thousand Fibbies for hacking Dr. Krista’s secretly married boyfriend and Flipper was taken by Animal Control.

Elliot goes through processing (“how do you feel right now?” “Great”) and then meets with his lawyer, who advises him that the theft of Flipper is the real problem and DID YOU SEE  how that jerk Lenny (Armand Shultz) was treating his dog before?? Picking him up by his collar?? Elliot stares out the window while his lawyer lays things out for him carefully (and rudely: easy, Tiger): when the judge asks, you say “not.guilty.” Elliot doesn’t respond, which means I bet that’s NOT what he says.

Elliot isn’t where his trial is, the judge is watching him on a computer monitor (OF COURSE HE IS) and everyone is completely blown away by his Guilty plea. This must have been what Elliot meant when he said he needed some alone time to gather his thoughts. That also, er, explains the extremely random-seeming rape attempt.

The judge is annoyed now and explains how expensive Flipper was: $1200. That’s about right for a purebreed, and I bet he was microchipped and that’s how they found Elliot. The amount makes the theft a felony and Elliot just nods and nods: so weird that a judge will allow non-verbal answers.

Mr. Robot starts to break in: what the hell is Elliot doing?? Elliot needs a break, Dad. Ahole Lenny sits in the back and gloats; he’ll get his.

Elliot’s being processed in jail now and I’m just looking to see if I recognise anyone! Who’s Ray (Craig Robinson) when he’s in prison?! Was there ever a Maxine? Imma feel hella cheated if I don’t get a Ray, I loved that character until his inexplicable about-face at the end. That was off-kilter.

Lone Star (Michael Maize) is a CO! And there’s Ray, he’s the warden. That’s the only thing that makes sense, what with the computer and all.

Strip searching montage; I feel as though I should be more interested in a nekkid Rami Malek, I was more concerned about how cold it is in there. He’s been working out!

Leon introduces himself; everyone’s heard about Speedy Gonzales Elliot, who was arrested, convicted and incarcerated all in 24 hours. He calls Elliot the “only guilty man in the pen” hahaha. Leon lays out the plan for newb Elliot: routine is key. NOW we know why he ate with Leon every single meal, that seemed so peculiar. We know in the Alternate Universe, Leon said he was sent by Whiterose, I think that’s one of the things we can assume carry through directly.

Leon’s working through old 90s DVDs (almost at Seinfeld, I presume), just finishing Mad About You and re: Paul Reiser; he’s a big fan. “He just doesn’t get the credit he deserves. The man is spectacular. Phenomenal” I know it doesn’t mean anything, I just haven’t ever heard anyone wax ecstatic about Paul Reiser (My Two Dads!) before so it had to be included.

Ohhhh, Hot Carla is there too and just when I’m wondering why men and women are mingling in the same exercise yard, Leon explains that Hot Carla is technically still Hot Carl. The would-be-rapists are wandering around in a gang, no clue what their exact affiliation is.

Leon can hook Elliot up with anything he needs, from cigarettes to Grandma Porn (totally exists) and everything in between. Elliot speaks for the first time: can Leon get him a notebook?

Is it wrong that I am happier that Elliot was in prison rather than staying with his psychotic mother?

Holy shite, Depeche Mode???? We get Depeche Mode over the credits? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE MUSIC ON THIS SHOW?? I love DM but someone’s snorting the late 80s blow HARD on this show. Which is why I refuse to watch Stranger Things: you will not pillage and plunder my 80s nostalgia to fuel your derivative show with that yerk Winona Ryder. REFUSE.

Now he’s getting out and we’re back in the present, he swears that was all he was keeping from us. Uh huh. He’s being released early because Five / Nine also released a bunch of non-violent offenders, the prisons are scrambling to keep full. Was that Darlene’s touch to get her brother out? Well. No, she couldn’t have known, but maybe that’s just a part of the fsociety manifesto. Elliot’s got a remnant of the past in his bag, a now-useless ECorp credit card. WHY did Elliot have a credit card, that’s definitely unusual. It must be something other than what it looks like. The CO offers to throw it away so maybe I’m reading too much into it.

It’s time for init5 “return to normal” and Elliot wonders if it’s even possible to return to normal after 86 days in a square box. I’ve never heard of anyone using prison as a rest cure before, but I’m not saying no to a weekend, either. It’s probably quieter there.

He gets out to Mr. Robot (Christian Slater) and Darlene (Carly Chaikin) waiting for him, awww they even hug. I thought she’d be mad he was hiding.

Angela (Portia Doubleday)’s dug out the rubber ducky Mobley gave her (Hey! Where’s Mobley?!), she’s gonna get those Risk Management files about Washington Township one way or the other. She talks a manager’s admin out of her desk and sets to work to be discovered by someone waiting for Joe in his office. He thinks she is the admin even though they look totally different, but young, blonde, attractive, the point is that people just don’t look at admins. I could extrapolate that further into a gendered argument but let’s keep it clean for now, shall we?

She makes it back to her office and starts downloading passwords. Just like that, she’s in and won’t there be a trail of that on her computer? The hackers usually delete everything. Also: Angela has the worst.poker.face.EVER

On the subway, Darlene fills Elliot in on the current status; the Dark Army is heading towards Stage 2 and she’s worried, but Elliot thinks they were responsible for his release, so that’s confusing. Whose side is Whiterose on? What’s her end game? A man stares at them and they get off, gotta keep moving.

Elliot wants to talk to his (very poorly makeup-aged) mom, she’s in a home and there is a close-up of a broken clock set to 11:17, so that will probably come up again. He thanks her for keeping him alive these last few months, he couldn’t have done it without her. As usual, she doesn’t speak so I don’t geddit.

Whiterose (B.D. Wong) is dropping flowers at a grave, she’s not even phased by a timer going off. Does her assistant know who is in the grave? He was the previous CEO of E Corp, serving from 1986 until his death in 1995 and right up until his plane crash (not accident, Whiterose hates that word) he was planning to take out her project. She squats to pee on his grave (now THAT’S commitment) and the implication is that she had him killed. Huh. This is a more than 20 year project? How does Elliot fit in?

Eliot pees too, yay! (not yay) and listens to Darlene and Cisco (Michael Drayer) argue about who hit who in the face with a baseball bat (she hit him) and who was sending pics of who sleeping to the Dark Army (totally not her). I can’t believe they’re still talking????? The fight is broken up by Mr Robot telling them both to calm down, freaking me and Elliot oot. He’s in the bathroom! How can he be out there and in there physically? HE’S Mr. Robot! Oh jaysus, he’s astral traveling across the room is all, I thought mebbe Tyrell was Mr. Robot for a moment.

Elliot wants Darlene and Cisco to track down Mobley and Trenton, who have both gone missing and everyone picks away while Mr. Robot and Elliot have a come-to-jeebus meeting: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? They don’t know!

Whiterose and Price are meeting to discuss progress, it seems Angela was Price’s little project and he’s disappointed she stuck to the straight and narrow. The Bailout failed, so now he’s come hat in hand to Whiterose to explain that there are some changes coming right away. The Washington Township Plant will be taken over by the government on Friday and what significance can that have for Whiterose? He’s furious, though, and Price knows his neck is on the line. He has a plan, though, he needs cash, a LOT of cash and that’s the only thing that will keep ECorp from handing over Whiterose’s plant to the federal government.

What is the deal with that plant?? Is that why ECorp refused to remove the third party inspection clause and why Angela had to work on their behalf? What could Whiterose be doing in Washington Township?

We’ve moved past veiled threats to full on declarations of war; Price declares himself a mercenary (I’m sorry, if you have to TELL someone you’re a mercenary) and “order will not protect you any more, my friend. I will rain chaos.” He would rather see Whiterose lose than win himself and we just saw what happened to the last Evil Corp CEO who got in Whiterose’s path.

Elliot is pondering the nature of the Dark Army’s involvement in five/nine, their motivation was revolution, but they never got around to figuring out what the Dark Army wanted. He starts to hack Xun, the Dark Army agent who’s Cisco’s contact,while Mr. Robot worries in the corner. He feels off, like he’s overheating but Elliot shakes it off.

Elliot wants to set up a meet and get Xun talking about the Dark Army, but he won’t be going as himself, Mr. Robot will be in charge. Everyone but Cisco knows what that means, pardon? It means he’s gonna be Angry Elliot!

Something is off about Elliot’s dark side, though, will he be able to protect them? These Dark Army dudes do NOT mess around, they will break a needle off in one of your fingers like NUFFING.

Angela’s brought her “borrowed” documentation on Washington Township to a federal agency; the levels of toxicity are still above regulations. She doesn’t want money, she just wants it to happen FAST. He’ll take it to the deputy director while she waits.

There’s a man playing a tiny keyboard on the subway, which gets Elliot out of his feet to see Cisco and Mr. Robot meeting in another car. Is he starting to black out and disassociate while acting as Mr. Robot? He tries to go into the other car, but he’s trapped with that never-ending tinny noise and he bangs and bangs and then all of a sudden he’s in with Cisco.

This meeting with the Dark Army will probably not go well.

Xun’s sharing his exploits with a long-toed hooker from Romania while Darlene listens, it seems our Xun has very particular taste re: feet. Darlene is distracted by Nancy Grace holding forth on Operation Berenstain, if you have nothing to hide, what’s the problem? She watches a snippet of the fscociety tape and then starts searching frantically for the tape. She makes it back to her laptop where we see the mic button activated.

The meet is in the library, Xun’s brought his dragon-masked thugs but no desire to talk to Elliot. They turn to leave and Elliot has to actually.speak to turn them around. He doesn’t talk a whole lot. He shouts “look at me!!” and then directs Xun to tell Whiterose he wants to know what Stage 2 is. Xun gives him the up and down and leaves.

Angela waits and stares at the cameras in the office while the power starts to go off and on. “Brownouts” Deputy Director Phelps (Caroline Strong) tells her, they’ve been expecting them since the power company went on strike.

Phelps is creepy AF, and I would really like Angela to run now. Anonymity is no longer a certainty and Phelps digs deeper: Angela works at E Corp, right? Angela’s spooked now, she’d like her files back, please, but Phelps wants her to come see her colleagues in the room just down the hall. RUN. Angela turns and walks away: faster, Angela!

Darlene was looking for that fsociety tape because she’s just realised that they left the static-y one at the house of the deceased Susan Jacobs. She has to go back, her face is on that tape, but Cisco will make the run instead.

Darlene is talking to Elliot, who turns into Mr. Robot and then ends up sitting across, would Dr. Krista (Gloria Rueben) call that a mental break?

Angela’s scurred by the doorbell ringing and she should be; it’s Dom (Grace Gummer), who’s acting friendly and has brought food. Dom marches in, don’t worry she’s left her handcuffs at home, what a nice place Angela has! ECorp housing? Angela’s had ENOUGH of trying to sort everything out and tries throwing Dom out, but Dom’s feeling chatty again. She had a dream? About a beautiful woman and then being choked underwater and that doesn’t SOUND like a dream. Ollie Parker told Dom about the CD over a month ago (“literally the first thing out of his mouth” made me laugh, that guy was SUCH an ahole) and she’s been tracking Angela ever since. Including to the Nuclear Regulatory Agency and holy shite: the Washington Township Plant is a NUCLEAR plant??????? Did we know that? I was just wondering earlier about what kind of plant but assumed I had missed something innocuous but I’m sure I would have remembered NUCLEAR.

Dom doesn’t know how any of this ties together, but somebody is gonna figure it out and they won’t be offering Angela takeaway food in her swanky apartment. She’s got one hand left to play: Dom. Dom explains that she stopped the drowning in her dream by giving into it, not struggling and that is LITERALLY the worst advice I can think of for Angela. Should she think of England as well?

Cisco’s back at Susan’s SmartHouse and shit someone’s there! Oh please don’t be a hurt Mobley, all you can hear is someone trying to breath through something wet.

Darlene’s monitoring Xun’s phone mic, they’re meeting with someone about Elliot and what? Stage 2 is Elliot’s plan. Darlene looks worried, has Elliot left them out of a major plot point again? OF COURSE HE HAS. It’s what he do.

Elliot explains that nothing is normal to him as Darlene reaches the end of her luck with Xun’s phone. They figure out the hack and she loses the connection as the power dims the lights again. She’s startled by a pounding on the door (she does not startle easily, she must be REALLY freaked out) to find…

Elliot’s back at his old apartment, Tyrell Wellick (or “the man I murdered”)’s SUV is parked out front, running. It’s Joanna in the car, not Tyrell and we close with her “hello, Elliot.” I bet she’d really like to know where Tyrell is, unless she does know and I won’t believe Tyrell is dead until Darlene says it. She never lies to us, just everyone else.

I like the way they explained the prison time; it’s awfully tidy and convenient but I dig tidy. They touched on a few key points but didn’t recreate the timeline for us: fully on board with that. This nuclear plant is a problem, though, I thought it was a water treatment plant! Even if Stage 2 is Elliot’s plan, he couldn’t have been involved in Whiterose’s project from the very beginning, he was barely born-ed in 1995. 3 more episodes to find out; until next time, ScriptKiddies, keep it together!