Hi everyone, how was your week? It’s miserably cold here, good time to watch some excellent TV like Orphan Black! Rolling the Clone Club S1:E7 after the break

Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) is stressed oot and Skyping with Cosima (Tatiana Maslany); Olivier (David Richmond-Peck) called Paul (Dylan Bruce) in ages ago and now she can’t reach him. He must be compromised. Cosima counsels patience while rolling a j; hold on now. What is this palace she’s living in? Full of brocade and 12 foot ceilings? It’s a stark contrast to Beth (Tatiana Maslany) and Paul’s sleek, modern apartment.

Olivier interviews Paul while EDM plays and a light machine goes in the background…whut? Let’s go over the last eight months AND tape record this, no worries there!

Sarah would really like Cosima to stay away from Delphine (Evelyn Brochu); that’s a super great idea since she’s definitely got ulterior motives. Cosima thinks she can monitor the Monitor, though and I don’t know if that’s a fantastic plan. Anything else Cosima needs to be paranoid about?

We’re back with Helena (Tatiana Maslany), who’s just waking up while Signet Ring tends to her. Is that a man of the cloth?

Sarah’s recruited Felix (Jordan Gavaris) to find Paul, who was going to meet Olivier at an underground club, that explains the music! Sarah’s worried that even if Paul holds steady, those medical tests will reveal that she’s not Beth; Fe reminds her that they all share the same DNA.

That same DNA that was found in Katja (Tatiana Maslany) and also splattered all over the bathroom where Helena did her surgical upkeep. Janis (Jean Yoon) from Forensics is confused; so are Art Bell (Kevin Hanchard) and Angela DeAngelis (Inga Cadranel). Art thinks they’re missing something, right from the very beginning (SO MUCH), but accepts that the Forensics have been compromised and they’ll have to figure out out the old-fashioned way.

DeAngelis carefully brings up Beth as the one with access who could have tampered, Art already had questions about how that was handled. We’ll keep an open mind and go back to the beginning!

Felix has decided he must be the one to go into the club; it’s not just emo cyber goths, however. It’s not JUST a ridiculous club with repetitive music and bad lighting, it’s a NeoLutionism hub

Which means that Felix has to talk fast AND talk to people with Dr. Leekie’s stated preference for appearance (dat white eye) while dropping Olivier’s name.

Wait. Dr. Leekie (Matt Frewer) is in on things from the ground floor? Is he the Big Cheese in Clone Central? I thought all this bit about self-directed evolution was theoretical, but if Olivier is downloading operatives in the basement of one of his clubs: Dr. Leekie must be in deep.

Felix asks if Olivier is an enhanced as the people around them, he “has no idea” and what does that mean? Is Olivier a clone too? Of the lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies?

While we ponder that, Olivier wants to know how the sex has been with Beth lately? Passionate, not the usual “cold fish”, hey? Hmm. He lets Paul in on his concern: he’s just found out that someone is killing their subjects.

Sir Tomas of the Signet Ring (Daniel Kash) chastises Helena for not killing Sarah; Helena thought she was different. She tentatively brings up Sarah’s assertion that Helena is not the first, but one of many identicals; he is furious. She begs forgiveness.

Felix spies Paul at the back of the club, following him out to be grabbed by the man himself. He tries to talk his way out of it

And Sarah has to pull Paul off Felix. Let’s talk at home! You know, or “talk”; Paul didn’t say no!

Tomas wants Helena to capture the Imposter (Sarah) so they can get all of her information and then “kill it.” The way to the shepherd is through the sheep, which means he is DEF religious. When he leaves, she carves into her back again with a look of ecstasy.

He sends her out the door the next morning with a mantra “You are the original, You are the light” now go get ’em, Tiger!

Paul and Sarah are getting caught up, interesting that she leaves out Cosima. I would too, I love Cosima! He does seem to be on her side, I hope that’s true. He gives her the keys to his car in underground parking so she can evade a tail easier.

She finds creepy Helena in the garage with an offer; they need to talk. And eat

Sugared Jello (all the herkz) leads to an intense showdown; Helena has (boot?)knife near Sarah’s privates and Sarah has a knife to Helena’s leg. Helena wants her knife back and the names of the others; Sarah has until midnight to call her with them. We get a little Helena backstory, she was raised by Ukrainian nuns and that explains SO MUCH.

Things are heating up on the other side; Dr. Leekie has to results of the medical results taken on Sarah: he tells Olivier that Paul has the wrong clone.

Sarah’s updating Cosima, who’s trying on beautiful dresses in her gorgeous house, what’s she doing? She’s changed her mind about Olivier, though, maybe he and the higher ups are more invested in them than willing to terminate them. They need protection from Helena and whomever is running her, maybe telling Olivier is a way to come in from the cold.

And Olivier has a tail

WHAT?

Like an actual tail, not a spy thing?

Sarah’s frustrated that Cosima is continuing to see Delphine, even after she hears about the NeoLution / Olivier connection, so she severs the call with a terse “stay out of my end, I’ll stay out of yours.” “Bitch” echoes on both ends

Delphine’s there! But Cosima isn’t quite dressed yet.

Paul gets out of the shower to find Olivier and the white-eyed Astrid (Sarain Boylan) from the club waiting for him; they leased that apartment FOR Paul, so of course they kept a key. Olivier tells Paul about Beth being Not-Beth; someone who looks just like Beth has been murdering people, keep an eye oot, jeez Paul. “Like a twin?” asks Paul.

Sarah’s visiting Kira (Skyler Wexler) while Helena searches Paul’s place. Mrs. S (Maria Doyle Kennedy) gives her a lesson in UK politics; she hid Sarah and then adopted her. There was another boy there than was important, Carlton, but we don’t find anything else out about him right now.

Cosima and Delphine are having a great dinner when Dr. Leekie’s arrival ruins everything. It’s so OBVIOUS, honestly. Cosima are I are over it. Even when he offers her a job, she knows he’s after regular monitoring of her brain waves, so she takes a hard pass.

Paul’s back on camera in the basement of NeoLution; Olivier tells him about Sarah not being Beth; *GASP*. If Paul can make this right, his warcrimes in Afghanistan go away: he gets his life back. First he’ll need his phone back.

Mrs. S pushes the documents from the past into Sarah’s hands, she understands if she has to go back to go forward.

Paul calls Sarah as Beth on speakerphone, he uses that opportunity to tell Sarah to RUN: THEY KNOW YOU AREN’T BETH, which gets him an injection in the neck.

Sarah’s done the opposite of Paul’s great advice, going to the club to try and rescue Paul. She calls Helena first and gives out Olivier’s name: not a sheep but a shepherd. Helena’s “baaaa” into the phone to explain sheep made me laugh out loud.

Sarah’s going in to get Paul, Felix is staying safe with Art’s card and advice to tell everything. She only gets as far as lost, with Astrid hot on her trail. Behind locked doors, Olivier’s trying to beat information out of Paul. Just then, Astrid opens the door: “I have Beth to see you” made me laugh and Olivier freeze.

I can read Paul’s mind right now “OH COME ON I just risked my life to tell you to run and you come HERE??”

Olivier is ‘CITED. He’s never seen one of the clones in the flesh before! Like super creepy ‘cited, you can tell he wants to see where all the joins are.

And Olivier totally has a tail.

Would Sarah like to see it?

NO WE DON’T WANT TO SEE IT!! STOP TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF, OLIVIER!!

Saved by the cell phone. It’s Dr. Leekie, he wants Sarah prepared for transport in the morning. Astrid takes away a hooded and bound Sarah, to be clobbered by Helena, who just wants one name before she strangles Sarah to death.

Come ON!!

Olivier’s monologuing at Paul, who’s noticed that there’s something hinky happening on CCTV. Ahhh, Sarah talked Helena into the hood and it’s she who Olivier sees. Sarah TOLD him that the homicidal clone was blonde, let’s see if he remembers that in time.

I SAID I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE THE TAIL, OLIVIER AND HELENA, HAAGGGGGANDJVSNDKJBVXG’

I saw the tail.

It made a noise.

So did he when she cut it off. Good GOD

The part where she said “did you lie down with beats?” made me twitch AND laugh though. Felix can’t take it any more, he calls Art and is about to spill everything about Beth Childs when Sarah and Paul make it back to the truck. Whew!

Helena has finally found her people

Back at Felix’s apartment (looking for foretold peni), Sarah reveals the name she gave Helena: hers. She felt safe doing that, “she’s got a little fing for me” as does Paul, who takes her hand. Felix leaves just before they take a trip to BangTown, population: 2

Cosima and Delphine are back at Cosima’s place now, Cosima sad about how things went, Delphine still pushing for her to work with Dr. Leekie. I just had a weird thought: what if DELPHINE is a clone from another batch?? Her response to Dr. Leekie touching her at the end of last episode was kind of robotic.

Cosima suggests it’s time to admit what this is really about? And then kisses a surprised Delphine, who er, um, was not prepared for that. She RUNS. Damnit. I didn’t know that Cosima is a lesbian, I’m sorry she picked a jerk to make a move on.

Art and Angela had Katja’s fingerprints run earlier at the morgue (Colin is so helpful); the results make Angie scream and Art come a-running. The prints match Sarah and now there is no way for Sarah to pull those like last time, and why does she look so much like Beth anyway? We’re oot. Until next time!