So. We have a bebeh on The Nest. We just don’t know…so many things! There is a metric tonne at stake right now and I really have no sense of which way it’s gonna go! Let’s roll into S1:E1.4 after the break and find out.

So. Last time our teenaged surrogate mother Kaya (Mirren Mack) gave birth very early to a wee girl, but literally everything else happened at the same time so we don’t know what’s going on. Kaya was supposed to be carrying the last embryo of wealthy couple Dan (Martin Compston) and Emily Docherty (our Sophie Rundle! from Gentleman Jack!), but it turns out Kaya was snogging with fella Keenan Dodds (Paul Brannigan) aka Doddy approximately the same length of time as she’s been carrying that embryo…so….did she give birth to a wee baby girl with her DNA or Docherty DNA?

It almost seems anticlimactic, remember when we found out that Kaya was a pre-teen murderer of a pregnant woman? We were all worried she was passing on her murdery nature via osmosis, but now we don’t even know if she’s carrying that baby anyway.

For the record, we’re pretty sure the Docherty baby would ALSO be carrying murdery genes, given that her dad is a stone cold killer, you mark my words! Eyes on Dan.

Dan’s still at the hospital waiting for Kaya to come round and give him and Emily custody of the wee bebeh, but Emily’s at home, swimming off her anger in the Clyde(?).

Dan found out about Kaya, made the decision to not tell his wife about Kaya’s past as a murderer and instead told his sister, who told her son and kicked off a scary night looking for our expectant young miss.

Emily…was not happy.

I’ll be stone shocked if they’re still married after all this is done.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh looookkkkkk at the BABY!!!!

Poor wee thing, she’s very, very early at 25 weeks and there’s no way to tell yet if she’ll have difficulty with any number of health issues.

*I have three friends who had children very early, what a terrifying time.

Back we go to the police station, where we met Detective McLelland (Kate Dickie from Game of Thrones and Retribution / One of Us!) investigating Kaya’s disappearance and the whole past as a killer thing. She’s called in social worker James (James Harkness) for another interview, this time about Kaya’s dead boyfriend Doddy.

Detective McLelland does not accept that Doddy overdosed and fell into the Clyde (?), what’s interesting to me is how belligerent James appears to be. As a social worker, surely he must be used to assisting the police with their inquiries. Why then is he acting like a suspect under caution?

Okay, so he’s defending Kaya, who definitely has the rage to do something like this, but she seemed genuinely shocked by the news of Doddy’s death. Hm.

James heads to the hospital with co-worker Janis (Liz Ewing) next to see Kaya, who is calm, over her infection and without desire to see the gorgeous baby at all.

Souter (David Hayman) shows up with a present for the wee gorgeous lassie and some questions. He wants Dan’s explanation for what happened with Doddy, who was sort of blackmailing Dan. Dan’s explanation does not satisfy Souter. Emily interrupts, she and Dan are clearly still not speaking. They’ve neither been to see Kaya, continuing to hover over the baby.

Kaya is a fairly good liar, so I shouldn’t be surprised to listen to her dismiss Doddy as someone she barely knew, but it does seem unwise for her to continue that line with police. There’s a super snuggly public Instagram profile and everything.

While Dan is planning for what to do if the baby has medical problems, it’s too much for Emily and she races home to walk into a disastrous display.

There’s nothing to celebrate yet. Still, I’m surprised they made no overtures to Kaya at all. They know she has to sign over the baby yet. Emily can’t stay in the house with that gruesome display she heads over to her friend Zoe’s (Christine Bottomley) house.

Dan and Kaya have been lying to her literally every day for the past 8 months. How can she get past that deception and betrayal?

Emily tells us about the bad thing that made her stop trusting people. It happened when she was 16, she and her friend Olivia took some Ecstasy that Emily had bought. It ended up killing Olivia; Olivia’s mum didn’t blame Emily but Emily’s mum did. Ever since, Emily has believed that her inability to bear children is a punishment for this unknowing act.

Whew. That’s…a lot. She’s trying to move on, there’s a baby now.

Technically, Emily also killed someone as a young person.

Dan is practically living in the NICU. He sings a song to wee Gertie (I’ve decided she’s Gertie) alone in the room.

Dan’s sister Hilary (Fiona Bell) is having a much less relaxing morning, listening to her husband Callum (Bailey Patrick) slam cupboard doors, followed by her oldest son Jack (Samuel Paul Small) slamming all the regular doors. They’re both very unhappy with her over Kaya, but there’s a deep well of marital discord twixt Hilary and Callum. Their other son wants to know why Jack’s acting like that AND why they’re letting him? He’d also like everyone to stop lying, everyone is lying!

It’s true, absolutely everyone is lying, just for different reasons.

Jack stops by the hospital to drop off music for Kaya to listen to, the nurses are all agog at his attentiveness but Kaya’s not interested. She wants a clean break.

Old news is not done being stirred up, Kaya’s mum Siobhan (Shirley Henderson) has agreed to talk to reporter Eleanor (Katie Leung – they’re both from Harry Potter!) about Kaya as a young murderess named “Heather.”

Eleanor takes her right to the hospital; Siobhan would have liked to go to the hotel first but it’s reunion time already. It’s interesting that Eleanor thinks it’s the Dochertys that are exploiting Kaya, as most people outside the couple think. Tell me, is it still exploitation when the person being exploited chases you down repeatedly and insists over and over that you exploit them? When they charge money? You could probably make some kind of human trafficking connection there, but only if the procurer was also the procuree.

Siobhan walks with a limp and a unerring sense of purpose, she’s doom on unsteady legs. Kaya sleeps, unaware that her whole life is about to be torn asunder again.

Siobhan finds Kaya, stroking her hair, crooning “Heather”; Kaya wakes up and freaks entirely the feck out, calling for help and flashing back to an aggressive and angry Siobhan.

James and Janis are back at the hospital to check on Kaya. They think Siobhan appearing out of nowhere had to do with money, not helping Kaya.

Detective McLelland shows up then to interview Kaya about Doddy, she’s not the least phased by Kaya’s denial of knowing her neighbour. She has all of Kaya and Doddy’s texts.

You’re not supposed to lie to police officers, though, Detective McLelland wants to know why lie? Kaya counters: why tell the truth? When they’ve already made up their mind about her. Interesting.

McLelland walks out with a single word. “Okay.” She follows up with phone calls to Dan and Emily’s voicemail.

Emily and Dan came in to interview with Detective McLelland, it’s chockfull of revelations for Emily. She didn’t know

1. She’s married to the kind of person who paid blackmail to people like poor Doddy
2. Her husband is the type to send a heavy around to intimidate poor Doddy
3. Kaya was shagging someone right up until she moved in with the two of them
4. Was there a pregnancy test in the Ukraine before Kaya was implanted with their sole remaining embryo?

That’s rather a lot to take in at once.

Kaya is well shaken by the police interview, however brief, she’s on the run and without Gertie. She just…doesn’t know where to go. Back into the hospital she goes.

Dan’s had just about enough himself, he’s angry, plain angry about this police “fishing expedition” and his wife’s abandonment of their child.

Dan heads to Hilary and Callum’s house; Callum makes it very clear that Dan’s not welcome in the house so Hilary comes outside.

Jack sees Dan at the door, he stands inside drinking a beer lashing out at all the lies and hypocrisy. His dad backs him up, but Jack knows his mum doesn’t respect his dad at all, how can Callum defend her? Callum’s face was everything in a face where a man watches his life fall apart in front of him with no way to fix anything.

Dan works on his story for the Doddy murder then calls Emily, who doesn’t pick up. She’s on a mission. She goes straight to the hospital to see Kaya, who misinterprets this as caring about her wellbeing. Kaya tries to give an explanation for not telling Emily the truth about her past, she needed a clean slate, see?

Emily’s not there for that, if she ever did care about Kaya that’s long gone. What she’s after is for Kaya to agree to a DNA test for the baby. Kaya’s emotions retreat back inside herself; she agrees to do it for another 20,000 pounds. Emily sends it from her phone, takes the signed form and leaves wordlessly.

This is what I meant by Scotland being a character in this show; this is Siobhan’s view from her hotel.

She writes a kind letter to her daughter as Eleanor watches closely.

Kaya’s only real support are James and Janis, but they can’t get through to her either.

The DNA results have come back; the baby is not the Docherty’s spawn. But. It’s also not Kaya’s baby, what the.

Dan takes Emily’s being reasonable and not panicking as a sign of her not caring, sigh, these two are in a very bad place.

Emily works the phone to the Ukraine while Kaya tries to wrap her head around her sudden and unexpected motherhood. She hasn’t gone anywhere near Gertie.

James counsels Kaya on her choices while Dan does what everyone SHOULD be doing: visiting Gertie, who’s alone in the neonatal unit again. He gets to hold her!

It’s a complete 180 degree turn from earlier, when Emily was so emotionally invested and Dan distant.

James hands the DNA test results to Detective McLelland, now can she leave Kaya alone? The baby wasn’t Doddy’s, so she probably didn’t have anything to do with his death.

McLelland spies Eleanor handing a nurse the letter from Siobhan, she knows this is about to get very newsworthy again and fast. McLelland isn’t ready to let go of this case yet, she directs her assistant to get all the CCTV for Kaya and Doddy’s flats plus by where he was found dead.

Dan is denied access to Gertie the following day thanks to James tattletaling to the nurses that she’s not his baby.

Dan goes right to Kaya, he feels he has a moral obligation to take care of Gertie, and it’s not just that.

He loves the wee girl.

Kaya wants to know where Emily is?

Emily’s at home making herself frantic looking for the baby they lost; Dan tells her there is no other baby, there is just this one baby that they’re responsible for, she and him.

Kaya gets a pep talk from James, who is no friend to Dan and not interested in supporting his love of the wee girl.

Kaya decides to give the baby to Dan and Emily, which has turned into everything Dan didn’t know he wanted and needed but terrifies Emily. Is she ready to go into this without any assurances that Kaya won’t change her mind?

…again, this would have been something to consider BEFORE holding your husband emotionally hostage and insisting he go ahead with the surrogacy or you’d do it without him.

Detective McLelland and her assistant have been busy; she shows footage of Kaya chatting amiably more than once with the last person who saw Doddy alive, interesting.

Emily finally gets to hold the baby! Emily finally wants to hold the baby! They’re going to call Gertie Gracie Katherine Docherty, awww.

Kaya and James have a lovely morning while the police arrest the man they think killed Doddy brutally, now we’re going to find out the connection…it’s

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James. James the social worker has been selling out lost souls like Doddy to the local crime boss. He would access the information of vulnerable people and sell it to the local drug kingpin. That’s who killed Doddy, it had nothing to do with Kaya or Dan.

Unless Dan is connected to the local drug boss.

James is dragged out kicking and screaming by the police as Kaya melts down completely. She still has Janis! Thank the gods for that.

Kaya sleeps fitfully as the Dochertys play with their nursery toys in a scene full of foreboding. Kaya wakes up and calls her mum, who’s on her way out of town.

Kaya has a lovely chat with her mum, so many layers here. No child is a mistake indeed.

It’s a new start. The devastation when the Dochertys realise what they’re looking at.

Ahhhh I told you Siobhan was doom on two legs!! I’d rather have not been right. Good lord. How is is possible to even keep up with all the twists and turns of this show? I don’t even know what I’m watching! Until next time, which is the last time: cheers.