Technically, I should be catching up on another show, but I really wanted to see what Queen Bea and the Governor are getting up to on Wentworth so join me, won’t you? Okay I couldn’t get it anyway. Rolling S3 (CAN YOU BELIEVE I’M ON SEASON 3 ALREADY?? What am I gonna do when I’m caught up?????) E2 Falling Upwards after the break!

Hey! They’ve changed the theme song again; it’s punched up, got a faster beat, right? Or am I imagining things like when I thought Drake’s voice was totally different on Hotline Bling? (Totally was)

It’s a dark and rainy night, Governor Ferguson is staring into the ether when Vera approaches with all kinds of unwanted help. Ferguson asks if she’s still in shock? No? Then shut up and bring her the Queen Bea into the Education Centre in the middle of the night. Quietly.

Bea is understandably nervous, yes, she’s in charge, but there are two of them and I don’t like her odds against Ferguson. With dem tall ladies, it’s the reach you gotta worry about. Ferguson is mean like a snake and fast like a fox, so stay low and near the walls, Bea!

This is a negotiation, but Bea’s not prepared. Governor Ferguson pushes and Bea gives her demands: reinstatement of privileges, a phased-in smoking ban and

I laughed out loud at that and had to gif it for my friends Dixie and Patty. They aren’t reading (don’t watch Wentworth), but they are absolutely here in spirit.

Franky is NOT happy. Vera doesn’t understand either, but Ferguson explains. The pizza is not a reward for misbeahviour, but rather repatriations. They severely underestimated Bea’s hold over the women but that won’t happen again. I bet it won’t, Ferguson is a tactician supreme.

Boomer, well, she’s not the most intellectually burdened of our group and Dory doesn’t understand how she can sit there stuffing her face after ignoring Bea’s directive to not hurt Liz. “Think of it as her last supper” advises Bea, and I’m so torn. Bea HAS to make an example out of Boomer, but Booms DID get seven years of extra time because of Liz’s lagging, so I don’t think she was totally in the wrong either.

It’s complicated

Franky knows, though, she’s at least aware that Boomer, her last loyal hench, is on borrowed time. She sends her girlfriend (my kingdom for a name!) to go unload contraband-filled chickens.

Ah Liz. Bea’s in to bring her pizza, but Liz wants to know

 

And yeah. It does make Bea feel better, and now Vinnie’s dead so I imagine it’s like sinking into a warm bath, that information. Liz’s heartbroken, though, she thought she was Bea’s friend and now she’s “collateral damage.” Bea took away any chance of a life with her kids and she doesn’t want her stupid pizza.

The women are cleaning up the exercise yard while Ferguson explains the Art of War to Vera: she thinks Bea thinks she’s better than these women, she guarantees Bea kept a clean house. WHAT’S WRONG WITH KEEPING A CLEAN HOUSE?? Or is that bad because Harry was beating Bea the whole time and she was trying to conceal it? I don’t really understand, but sometimes I get hypnotised when Ferguson is talking, so you’ll have to forgive me.

Ferguson’s next step: something personal to Bea. *conspiratorial smirks*

The food all went bad sitting out in the yard all night, just like Franky thought might happen. That means the chickens are off and if you’ve ever smelled a chicken gone bad, you know why Vera’s caught how weird Franky is acting. No way she didn’t smell the rotting carcasses. Franky tries to save one of the dope-filled chickens, but Vera spots it and sends two of the other women to incinerate the lot.

I have ALL THE HEEBS after watching them throw contaminated raw chicken all over inside a walkin fridge because even if it was pretend-rotten, it was not a pretend raw chicken.

Vera will be going through each box with Franky reviewing food safety guidelines, ohhh.

Liz is being released from Medical, Maxine’s there to walk her back to her cell and a good thing, since cheery Lucy is already catcalling. Or making barking nosies, actually, but Boomer looks ashamed of her handiwork. Miles comes up with a visitor form; Sophie would like to visit Liz right away.

Liz doesn’t want her daughter to see her like this, but Bea argues with her; it’s just another excuse, innit? I hope she does see Sophie

Here’s an unexpected and beautiful moment between Vera and Fletcher

I guess he’s taking life a lot slower now. Well that’s odd; the next time we see Vera, she’s taking forms in for Ferguson to sign about him, she lies and says she hasn’t seen him in months. Hmm. Has the newly militant Vera grown a conscience and subsequently grown away from her new mentor?

Dory is showing like crazy now! Jess sings and they feel the baby move and Boomer is so moved she brings Dory over some shampoo. Dory will not take her Pantene payment, she can stick it up her arse.

Mail time! Bea’s got fanmail, just like Franky did in season one! It’s from Kaz Proctor and I will bet you one million dollars of your currency that it’s the blonde screaming at the gate after Bea’s sentencing.

Ferguson is still working her old agenda, doesn’t Bea agree that getting drugs out of the prison would be to everyone’s benefit? Meaning Bea vs. Franky again, just as she likes it.

Bea can’t be seriously thinking about this, can she? Nobody buys that cutting off one source of drugs leads to ACTUAL drug reduction any more! They might as well “Just Say No.” Drug addiction is complicated and best dealt with an a micro level; the big picture makes it looks a LOT more manageable than it is. This whole storyline and Bea potentially falling for another of Ferguson’s ploys is making me VERY FROWNY.

Rose and Will are thinking about moving their relationship forward, he asks her and her totally legit orgasms to move in with him during lunch. Buzzkill Vera breaks it up to ask Will to call Fletcher, he’s a changed man. Will is not interested, people don’t change (is that a sign that Vera is still a softie under all that? Coz she IS except she totally killed her mother), they just find out who they are and get scared.

I personally believe that people are ALWAYS changing, we just get better at covering up our true nature as we age. Beware the aged fox nursing a grudge.

Franky’s in the yard negotiating with Cindy Lou (Who?) and her interpreter. Lucy muscles her way in to place an order; 5 grams of speed and a couple of hickeys. At least I THINK that’s what she said but I didn’t see anyone puckering up, so maybe not. I was just thinking it would be nice to see someone like Lucy (Sally-Anne Upton) throw down, we only see conventionally attractive couples on this show and it would be nice to see a broader representation than just the typical spank-mag types getting busy. Nothing against Franky and Kim, they’re lovely! Just… variety.

ANYWAY, Cindy Lou is placing a big order and reluctantly paying up front, so this better go off as planned.

A name!! We get a name for Franky’s shy new girlfriend, she’s Jodie Spiteri (Pia Miranda) and Bea and Maxine will be interrupting her shower this evening. Jodie knows Bea’s anti-drugs, right? And yet, here we are.

Side note: I’ve always focused on Franky and then Ferguson on this show, but damned if Danielle Cormack as Bea isn’t drawinnnng alls the attention these days. She has a deft touch with drama and comedy and I am just now appreciating how good she is.

Bea pretends that she’s interested in a cut of the business, but I’m not quite sure that’s her game. She gets the timing and delivery method of the next shipment off Jodie and lets her go.

In the yard, we find out how Franky’s paying for this big order; money in a tennis ball thrown over the barbed wire while the guards are distracted. That seems hella…simple.

Sophie’s come to see her mum!!! Oh I’m so excited, I hope it goes well. All my appendages are crossed. She’s watching other kids visit their mums and she’s silent. Liz comes in with her bashed face and I’m just going to cry for the next 5 minutes, okay? Sophie used to dream Liz was around and then she was, outside the pub and how did she end up inside again?

Oh no oh no she tells Sophie not to visit her

One sec

Oh and then she goes and sees Boomer, so she can finish the job, get her seven years worth but Boomer tells her to feck off and she wanders the hall saying “sorry, sorry” and I think my heart just broke for poor wee Liz with the bashed face and no family.

You can’t do that, you see. You can’t reject your children, even if you think it’s for their own good, they will ALWAYS think there is something is wrong with themselves their whole lives because you define love for them, it is the fabric of what makes them. You can’t do that.

Ugly cry break

Dory finds Liz asleep on the couch and asks how things went with Sophie. Fine, great, sure, hey… would Liz like to be the alternate carer for her baby? Jess has appeared like a spectre behind them, she’d love to!

I am legit worried for Dory’s life if she designates Jess, there is something very hinky there. Her case file was sealed because either it was being changed or something to do with a child, right? What if she tried to take someone’s baby??

Delivery time in the kitchen; who’s feeling strong? Jodie, but also Maxine, who towers over tiny Jodie. Vera explains the setup to the guards with drugs dogs as Maxine pulls a switcheroo in the back of the truck.

I assume that’s what she was doing. Does Bea have an elaborate double cross planned for Franky AND the Governor? I’m guessing Bea had Maxine flush the drugs, so Ferguson doesn’t get Franky on a stick as she wanted and Franky doesn’t get the drugs she already sold.

The chicken is indeed empty and Ferguson is livid. (I am herking again at all the raw chicken being splashed around inside the walkin)The kitchen and H2 are tossed while Bea keeps a strong eye on Franky. A few small balloons are found in Jodie’s cell and she’s dragged out while Bea gives Franky a THERE look.

Franky and Boomer are pretty much down to a pair; there are a lot of women going to be looking for their money or drugs and Boomer’s big, but she’s not THAT big.

Cindy Lou’s not waiting for Franky to do her head count, OR her HappyLucky any more, they have a showdown and Boomer goes at the interpreter hard, but there’s only one Boomer… Franky better get that gear and fast.

Liz is trying to unmake her huge mistake earlier, Sophie won’t come to the phone. Ah Liz. I told you not to do that.

Will’s pushing Rose again, she doesn’t want to move in just yet because he has “stuff.” Meaning unpacked baggage re: Meg and her murder and everything else.

Side note: guess who knows Franky was actually the one who killed Meg? I mean, besides Franky and Liz, who saw? Liz told Bea when she was walking out to freedom, so I assume Bea will use that at some point.

Will thinks he’s past all that, the business with Fletcher and HE DOESN’T HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM!!!! Right. She wants him to talk to Fletch.

Ferguson is crisply disinterested in Bea’s approach to stamping out drugs in Wentworth Correctional (how can they call it Wentworth Prison when the very first time we saw Ferguson, she made a huge deal out of the Correctional part?); but Bea has an even further plan. Franky’s getting parole soon, Bea has an idea, she just needs a little of the Governor’s help.

Everyone important is suddenly in the laundry room, time for Bea to lay out her plan! No more drugs, it’s all rehab up in here and I am suddenly reminded of Sons of Anarchy and their insistence that Charming remain drug-free. That’s almost impossible as long as there are drugs manufactured somewhere in the world AND addicts. The two will always find each other.

Anyway, this is Bea’s edict and if anyone goes against it, there will be consequences, which means that Boomer will not be taught a lesson in front of one and all. Ahhhhhhhh I couldn’t watch as Boomer’s two hands were steam-burned in retaliation for the attack on Liz as she begs Franky to stop it.

Two things: it’s impossible to not feel bad for Boomer, she’s like a child, and her decision making is…erratic at best. The other thing is that Franky is now essentially left defenseless, completely at Bea’s mercy. Bea made that point in front of Cindy Lou’s gang, or no doubt Franky would already be dead.

Everyone cries and looks miserable except Bea, who holds her composure until nobody’s watching but us.

Will has gone to see Fletcher, even if HE DOESN’T HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM, I just hope Fletcher’s remembered enough about Ferguson to pass on a warning. Will gives him forgiveness for messing with Meg and that’s it, he’s done. Don’t call him any more.

Franky’s trying to make it up to Boomer in her cell

Look how beautiful Booms looks?

She doesn’t understand, though. Franky could have stopped it because that’s what you do for someone you love! You do ANYTHING for them, but Franky never loved her, not like Boomer loved her because Franky’s shit. Franky keeps trying to apologize, but Boomer isn’t having it, she isn’t and she kicks out a crying Franky. Oh ladies.

Franky approaches Bea in the shower; it won’t wash off. She thought her and Bea had an agreement, what’s up with that? “Things change.”

The only thing I agree with Franky about is when she says “your type is the worst because you think you’re doing it for a good cause” and true that, sister.

TANGENT! Waaaaay back in the beginning of The Walking Dead (which I had the privilege of watching with my good friends and fellow writers from this site), there was a man named Joe. Nobody really knew what was going on back in season one, so when people got bitten, there was all kinds of sturm and drang and mental anguish over whether to put people out of their misery or try to keep nursing them back to whatever approximated health at that time. Joe liked to deal with that stress and anguish by digging holes. This disturbed other people, particularly Lori, who used the usual “you’re scaring the children” sanctimonious bullshit to strongarm him in line. Now, Joe was digging holes away from the encampment, people had to go LOOK to find his holes, so why anyone should insist that he stop handling his shite by digging a harmless hole is beyond me, but they did, and they won. He stopped digging holes and then was bitten and died. So many things are done in the name of sanctimony and this smells like one more.

TANGENT side note: the original showrunner /  writer for The Walking Dead was Frank Darabont and after he was summarily removed (for digging holes in the writing room?) at the end of the second season, he launched a lawsuit against the company. I understand he’s now asking for $280 million dollars, and I have to say I thought the subsequent seasons had a better flow, but I’ve also used that example several times, so maybe his stuff WAS better. Only time will tell it if was $280 million better.

Liz finally agrees to be Dory’s other person in the room, awwww, she’s trying again. Jess is not happy.

Bea’s brought to Ferguson’s office to see a policeman. Will’s being called there as well. HARRY’S been killed?? By whom?? My money’s on Ferguson, she looks happy as a clam.

We’re out, cheers, y’all, until next time!