We’re almost at the Apocalypse in Good Omens, which means we’re almost done, wooo! I absolutely love David Tennant and Michael Sheen in this show, this time we get rather a lot of Miranda Richardson and Michael McKeen, honestly, we’re spoilt for choice with all the talent. Let’s roll into Good Omens S1:E05 The Doomsday Option after the break!

We open with Queen screaming through the speakers of demon Crowley’s (DavidTennant) car speeding impossibly through traffic to his friend angel Aziraphale’s (Michael Sheen) book shoppe, which is aflame. He pushes his way in, not knowing that Aziraphale was sent heaven-ward before the fire.

Also miraculously (ahem) untouched is the book “The Nice And Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch” which Crowley finds in the middle of the mess.

The Antichrist Adam Young (Sam Taylor Buck) isn’t having a better time with his friends, who don’t want to rule the world with him, they’d just like to go home, please. He’s silenced them, now he’s taunting them with mentions of his REAL best friends, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Crowley’s got places to go!

A quick debate with himself about littering and he’s off to find our Aziraphale.

Aziraphale was accidentally dispatched prematurely to the pearly gates by one Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell (Michael McKean) who is now convinced he’d exorcized a demon. To wit:

Shadwell has stumbled home to his landlady Madame Tracy (Miranda Richardson), a disheveled and dazed mess. She’s so English.

Shadwell contemplates the wonder of his finger as he rests in Madame Tracy’s pink and stuffy-laden boudoir. He’s the ultimate weapon!

Aziraphale is reluctantly deployed for the Armageddon, hurry up, his troops are waiting for him! Where’s his sword? His body? The Quartermaster Angel (Jonathan Aris) can’t barely believe it. WHAT KIND OF ANGEL IS HE, ANYWAY?? Aziraphale demands to be sent back down, but since he left his body behind, it’s a bit sticky. He jumps into a nearby globe, he’ll figure it out as he goes!

It’s a much more relaxed wakeup in Lower Tadfield for Anathema Device (Adria Arjona) and Newton Pulsifer (Jack Whitehall), they’ve not been as worried about the Great Beast as they were the one with two backs for the last hour. Shame there are only two hours left in the world!

Newt, at least, has fulfilled his destiny as a Witchfinder – look, he found one right there! Anathema’s destiny is to interpret her long ago descendant’s prophecies, and…they end in about an hour.

Crowley’s decided to spend that hour drinking in the pub bemoaning his life choices aloud when Aziraphale appears! Discorporated, but able to communicate with Crowley, why is he sad?

Aziraphale explains about the logistics of Armageddon, where Crowley needs to be and everything else. Now he just needs to find a body to occupy.

Indeed.

Time for a seance with Madame Tracy! Her marks, I mean guest, arrive, Julia Petley (Jayde Adams) is skeptical but Brenda Ormond (Jenny Galloway) is our true believer. Mr. Scroggie (Martin Wimbush) is just looking to get out of the house, I’m pretty sure.

It’s time for the Four Horsemen to assemble, you remember War (Mireille Enos from The Killing!!), getting on that bike like she’s doing it a favour.

We’ve also Famine (Yusuf Gatewoood)

Pollution (Lourdes Faberes) and Death (voiced by Brian Cox which is AWESOME). Hai guys!

The seance is in full flower at Madame Tracy’s, she’s making faces and “slipping behind the veil” which is all very well but Mrs. Ormond is looking for her dead husband Ron, she has so much to tell him! (RUN, RON) First Madame Tracy has to bring forth her spirit guide to get Mr. Scroggie engaged, it doesn’t go quite as planned, but not as much off the rails as it’s about to go.

Aziraphale has answered Madame Tracy’s call for spirits, he even puts Mrs. Ormond’s poor Ron on the line! His message is succinct: “SHUT UP”

Shadwell sleeps on, unaware that the demon he thought he exorcised has taken over the form of his landlady.

He hears Aziraphale’s accent in the anteroom and comes out swinging; wait: where’s the southern pansy?

Crowley is stuck in a massive traffic jam on the M25, which is one large demonic prayer wheel grinding out low levels of evil each and every day. Nobody’s getting in or out.

Lisa (Rosie Day) the telemarketer inadvertently frees Duke of Hell Hastur (Ned Dennehy) and is drowned in maggots for her trouble. Run, Crowley!

Run Crowley does, into the blasting flames of hell while Hastur burns and Crowley threatens his car: don’t even THINK of burning!

Aziraphale attempts to get his one man Witchfinder Army off to Tadfield, but Shadwell first needs to know how many nipples the Antichrist is sporting. Oodles! LOADS! They’re off with pins and a thundergun on Madame Tracy’s pink Vespa, running on one tiny miracle of Aziraphale’s.

Adam rises up high into the air and calls the Four Horseman to him. He returns to the ground to explain the new world order to his friends Pepper (Amma Ris), Wensleydale (Alfie Taylor) and Brian (Ilan Galkoff) who are terrified, not enjoying Adam’s new game whatsoever. He releases them, so instead of deciding to be his friend and rule the world as he expects, they bail.

They’re very sensible, for kiddos.

Even Dog takes off, which really upsets Adam. He screams and the world shakes. He slumps to the ground, unconscious.

He awakens to find Brian over him with a cricket bat, he wasn’t thinking straight but now he is. Gather the bicycles!

Anathema and Newt try to figure out next steps, Newt’s figured out that whatever card they grab next will be exactly the right one and lead them in the right direction. Agnes sends them to the Lower Tadfied American Air Base, decommissioned.

The Four Horsemen slow up looking for the same air base, thankfully the Tadfield Neighbourhood Watch (Bill Paterson from Fleabag and Guilt!!) is there to help slow them down some more.

There’s a symmetry to having Armageddon take place at an American Air Force Base in England.

They greet the lone guard (Andre Nightingale) changing while moving into a large secure vehicle of the diplomatic variety. Inside is everyone out of their Four Horseman drag, including a preternaturally young Death (Jamie Hill), they gain access easily.

Anathema and Newt get in as quickly through a back entrance, Adam and gang explain to us why this base is important. The FH can access all the military systems in the world from there, abandoned or not.

31 minutes left!

Across the world, the nuclear codes have been delivered and the war is on.

Neighbourhood Watch yells at Adam and his friends on the way to the Air Force base, then Crowley comes driving up in his car aflame asking for the very same. He manages to not mention Crowley’s car being on fire almost all the whole time of giving directions, but when Crowley says he hasn’t noticed any unusual weather lately, he’s overcome.

Good thing he’s there the same time as Aziraphale/Madame Tracy and Shadwell, they sneak in with Adam and Them!

Everything aligns as we gear up for the End of Days in approximately 27 minutes or so. Until next time! Cheers.

PS: I’m sorry, they left out my very favourite part and I don’t know how to come to terms with it. When WAR was summoned, she was in a biker bar and four lads decided they were ALSO the four horseman and followed the group with increasingly creative nicknames. I mourn your loss, Grievous Bodily Harm, formerly known as Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping. I shall light a small candle in a high window in your memory.