We’re already back Below Deck Down Under and why not? Why not indeed; rolling into BDDU S1:E06 The Topping Point after the break!

We’re mid-charter with Primary Charter Guests Karim Gharbi and friends; Primary Karim is being difficult about the decor and his friends don’t like chef Ryan McKeown’s food so it’s going great!

Chef Ryan followed up a poorly-received fish lunch with a cured (not raw!!) fish dinner nobody wants, so he’s down in the galley searing each tiny piece with an even tinier torch while chief steward Aesha Scott and third steward Magda Mirbek watch. Primary Karim comes downstairs to ask where the food is, Ryan does not pick up the pace.

Aesha is convinced he’s taking as long as possible to torture these guests for having the nerve to question his food.

I mean, their food, really. They’re paying for it.

When Ryan hears that guest Eunice is insisting on the scrambled eggs she tried to order earlier and that another guy hates fish and wants a steak, he throws his hands up. Every single meal will have to be ordered from now on, he’s not planning anything and having it ruined.

RUINT!

Again, I get where he’s coming from but I have to ask if he checked preference sheets before doing all that planning. I understand that he wants to make a specific experience, but shouldn’t it be the one that the people paying for it might actually enjoy, not just what he feels like cooking?

Captain Jason Chambers pops into the galley to remind Ryan that it’s all about the guest experience.

To that end, Magda has asked to do a dance for the guests as Marilyn Monroe. Aesha doesn’t get how this ties into their Casino Royale night but sure. Magda drags previously self-appointed entertainment coordinator deckhand Culver Bradbury into her shenanigans, he’s 100 percent down.

Magda has thrown on one of Culver’s mullet wigs, drawn on an extra set of eyebrows and she’s ready to go! By extra eyebrows, I mean she didn’t cover her actual eyebrows, just drew some new ones on top.

Magda does a full dance, most of it with her nipples out, that was very fun for the guests.

It must be noted that the guests are just as excited to see an eel in the water off the back end of the boat; no word on whether any eel nipples were exposed. Or if eels have nipples. Hey! I bet Captain Glenn Shephard from Below Deck Sailing Yacht would be able to tell us! He listens to podcasts about this exact thing!

This whole time second steward Tumi Mhlongo was downstairs cleaning guest rooms quietly and efficiently.

The guests go to bed without incident; Aesha is up early when Primary Karim asks who makes the best coffee? She does! He orders a latte with almond milk, she’s quite proud of it.

He tastes it and has deckhand Brittini Burton call Aesha back; is she sure she makes the best coffee on board, he asks? She could have just told him she’s not that good at it.

He says this as she waits with an increasingly fixed smile on her face; what would he like? What’s wrong? Ah, she microwaved the milk as they don’t have a frother.

After some more fuckery from Primary Karim, she orders a frother from their provisioner as he shittalks her over and over. I mean.

I am so shocked that the guests are taken SCUBA diving without being certified, just getting quick instruction on the tender from someone I don’t recognise. That’s a thing, isn’t it??

Deckhand Benny Crawley is with the guests, he loves this part of yachting, along with the late night fishing off the back deck.

Ryan cooks lunch orders like the line cook he may be; guests are happy yay!

Benny spacing out while driving the mini-tender almost causes a crash with the full-tender; what is he doing? Bosun Jamie Sayed is fed up with Benny living his best life and not paying attention but Captain Jason thinks he needs to adjust his management style.

I think I said that exact thing last recap!

Supper is nautical themed; but I think the guests just wanted to dress nautically, I’m pretty sure none of them like fish or anything from the ocean. They receive the lobster, prawns and mussels dish fairly well but one doesn’t like crustaceans so I guess Aesha will be picking prawn meat out? I don’t know. Ryan started with a bagged garden salad, his food is the definition of phoning it in.

Jamie, Brittini and Ben end up together trying to put a cover on a pole…I have no idea how they end up with Ben storming off but here we are. He’s very touchy.

Ah it’s because Jamie and Brittini were laughing at Benny’s ineffectual attempts to button up a pole cover.

Speaking of touchy, we get a two-minute bitchfest from Ryan about taking the food out of the shells for guest Yelena. Ryan REALLY needs to check himself, even if he’s not calling the guests pieces of sh*& to their faces, that’s definitely going to be reflected in his food. Aesha reminds him to be professional; it’s his job.

He makes a face and literally mimics back that it isn’t and we’ve reached peak Toddler Chef.

Tumi continues to un-problematically clean; including finishing up the laundry Captain Jason started earlier.

The guests head to bed at midnight after requesting muesli and yogurt for brekkie but I’m sure that won’t be a problem in a scant few hours. Aesha knows she has to talk to Ryan about their communication but she’s not looking forward to it at all.

They get into it immediately; Aesha’s worried he’s not going to have fresh muesli prepared in time for the guests  so carefully explains that yacht guests expect that. She asks how many yachts he’s worked on and given his defensive and shitty response, I’m guessing zero.

I’m also guessing the Thalassa will be his first and last yacht job.

Primary Karim loves his frothed coffee! And the muesli Aesha pulled out, yum! Time to pack and GTFO!

Even the goodbye is complicated for this group, guest Eunice gives separate envelopes to the crew, but not to everyone…how freaking rude. Brittini wasn’t in front of them that often, so she doesn’t get the extra tip and neither does Ryan. Or maybe Tumi, I really can’t tell.

I remember this very thing happening with Captain Lee Rosbach on Below Deck, he took that extra tip and mixed it in with everyone else’s. Forget THAT. Oh wow, Aesha and Magda take Captain Jason aside to tell him they want to share their tips with everyone and thank god for that. Poor Brittini is in tears at not being seen.

Captain Jason senses her energy and stops her; what’s going on? He reassures her that she’s doing an awesome job, she’s moving up that ladder faster than others with her terrific attitude and ability to learn.

Captain Jason takes Jamie aside to remind him to warn Benny about the unsafe boat driving the other day then it’s time for our Tip Meeting!

Well they get right to it before I can guess; fine! $21,500 AUS, which is $16,530, $1,375 USD each. Woooo! Plus $277 USD of the shared tips! Aesha wins the discoball helmet for cappuccino making, she accepts it with cheers.

She gets a chance to videochat with her adorable boyfriend Scott; it’s been a long time and she’s almost in tears at the sight of her lovely fellow.

Ryan orders a quadruple Jack and Coke at supper then Ryan and Tumi flirt over how gross he is? Jamie chooses this time to talk to Benny about the tender incident, I mean, come on, Jamie. There is no way this is what Captain Jason meant about taking him aside, with everyone listening on a night out.

And that’s it! We’re out! Cheers, m8