Below Deck Sailing Yacht S1:E11 May The Breast Man Win Recap

Hi there! It's time for Below Deck Sailing Yacht again! Are you excited? Yeah you are! Let's roll into BDSY S1:E11 May The Breast Man Win after the break!

We left with a furious chef Adam Glick castigating third steward Georgia Grobler for daring to think it's funny that she and chief steward Jenna MacGillivray dated the same dude, alllls the red flags are there waving in the wind. Of course, it's that Adam and Jenna are dating and became intimate for the first time only hours previously, so he's feeling a little...vulnerable.

He didn't even hear her call this other guy "the best d**k ever" yet!

It's almost like he wants Jenna to be completely pure and only his, with no history or past experience. Because that's totally normal for women in their late twenties, as well as I'm sure he has no ugly romantic history that was on camera for an entire season.

Jenna finds Adam's frequent temper tantrums familiar. Her dad had anger management issues as well, so this feels...okay to her. She tells Georgia that she didn't even sleep with their shared ex Johan *record scratch*

  1. Why did she call him the "best d**k ever" then? Like, to look at?
  2. Given how fast she was climbing all over Adam's jock, why the two month waiting period for Johan? Apparently his appendages are fantastic

Ohhhh, she wants Georgia to tell Adam that, to calm him down. Let's break this down too:

  1. Jenna is asking a member of her staff to lie to her boyfriend
  2. Boyfriend is also a co-worker
  3. Georgia should do this so that Adam's not mad at Jenna anymore and is able to do his job

Got it.

Georgia works it into conversation with Adam right away, kudos girl! He blows it off, he doesn't want to hear about anything at all about Jenna dating, he won't share.

*With a guy from several years ago that Jenna is not currently dating or seeing.

Primary Charter Guest Maisa Kehl wanders the deck looking for different selfie opportunities while other guest Barboa continues to stare at her phone. Captain Glenn Shephard starts to take the sail down with the assistance of clueless deckhand Parker McCown. Parker should know sailing terms by now, we think.

Jenna assists guests while Georgia works in laundry and second steward Madison Stalker does other supper set up.

Adam's cooked a lot of food, but...it's not very fancy to have everything on platters. I think I actually agree with the fussy lady from last charter who wanted to be served. If I'm going on a superyacht for 6 figures, I don't want family-style food. I want schmears of weird colours and amaranth foam.

Jenna and Adam chat a bit in the kitchen. She's fully aware she's walking into a toxic situation with Adam but she thinks she's okay with it. Aw man. That's just not a good choice for anyone, even jerks who treat their staff like shite.

The guests loooover supper, they're off to bed at 11:15 pm, which is insanely and beautifully early. Georgia is sent to bed after the guests crash; Madison cleans up and the boat is tucked in at 1 am!

I love that the guests are up at 6! They're doing yoga on deck while Adam sends out another buffet-style breakfast.

Adam cuddles with Jenna and apologizes for being a psycho weiner, they're back, awww.

Parker is dropped off on the beach to get the area ready while the guests dress for the picnic, he asks his boss Paget Berry if he should wait to find out where Jenna wants the tables (she made a HUGE deal about it the last time) but Paget shrugs it off and tells him to rake. Parker is frustrated, and so shovels deep into the rocks.

Jenna is confused when she comes over in the tender with Paget; Parker has dug himself a hole in the middle of the rocks. Paget is perplexed as to why Parker is digging instead of raking, but Parker has gone over the edge into the manic anger he displays after being corrected and it backs Paget up.

Paget shows Parker how to rake. Parker is still manic. He decides this is the time to call Jenna on her jokes about him still being breastfed by his mother.

You know, the joke he posed for a picture to reference last week.

Now he's mad about it (he should have always been mad about it), while still angry at Paget and tired and sweaty and manic after digging a hole in rocks in the hot Gaios sun.

Paget sends him back to the boat to swap with deckhand Ciara Duggan. Parker STILL doesn't let up, asking if maybe they should have another meeting with the captain. What the?

Georgia explains the kitchen drama to Madison, who does not look like a six-week old banana, what? She's on probation, so decides this is a good time to stop muttering shite under her breath.

But

But she's still going to say them in interview, right??

The guests already look sunburnt on their way over to the beach picnic, it's nice and shady this time though!

Paget tells Captain Glenn what happened on the beach with Parker, who walks through as they're talking. This is a tiny boat, really.

Madison and Parker blow up Playboy balloons in the crew mess, we're on a Playboy Slovakia beach cruise, baby!

Speaking of, Primary Maisa is shedding what little clothing she has on and posing with nothing but seashells and an artistically placed starfish.

I think it's hilarious that other Primary Charter Guest Chuck Heath is more interested in the pineapple vodka drink Jenna is serving rather than his naked co-primary.

The guests are brought back to the Parsifal III for drinkies; Jenna checks with Captain Glenn to see if she and Ciara can go for a swim after they take down the beach picnic. Madison is taking care of guests and Georgia's around somewhere too, should be fine.

Oh, wait, they're bringing Georgia too. I guess lying to Adam for Jenna paid off for Georgia! So Madison will be working alone to take care of all the guests while the other three women crew will be having a swim together for recreation time.

It's all fine until Parker notices the three women swimming together, he can see Madison running around getting drinks for the guests in the sun and plus: it's just shitty to leave out ONE crew member. And they're on charter, come on.

Parker tells Paget, who didn't know. Jenna asked Captain Glenn, but nobody told Paget that one of his crew was going swimming. Since Paget and Ciara have been dating for four years, she says "oh f*** off" when he asks her about it.

Because that's how you talk to your boss.

Even if he's your boyfriend.

Jenna dresses then talks to Captain Glenn about Parker's attitude on the boat. Parker walks in as she's exaggerating, so awkward. Jenna leaves, Parker asks Captain Glenn is something's up, but the captain has stuff to do, man. He'll talk to you later.

There's nothing worse than knowing you're in trouble but you have to wait to find out WHY.

The guests wander through as Paget and Ciara are having a knock-down drag-out fight about how unprofessional her response was; Primary Maisa and Barboa flirt a little even. It must almost be reflexive.

Because there's no wind, they won't be able to sail and Jenna suggests they serve supper up on deck. It's so lovely up there. Unfortunately, Parker refuses to let go of his bad attitude and snaps at Paget in front of guest Steve Demarest. Chief Engineer Byron Hissel and Captain Glenn are not happy.

Byron braces Parker about his attitude, Parker chooses to further unload about Jenna. Paget comes over and everything goes nuclear again about Jenna's breastfeeding jokes. Parker asks Paget if he thinks those jokes are funny and when Paget says sure, he tells his boss "f**k you" just like Ciara did.

I bet it's not going to go as well for Parker as it did for Ciara.

Captain Glenn doesn't waste any more time, he calls Parker up on deck after he chats with Paget; Parker may well be sent home tomorrow. Once again, Captain Glenn doesn't pull any punches, Parker's attitude has to change, and now. Or gawn.

Parker uses his time on deck to call his ex-girlfriend Kaiti to tell her about what a "sassy Sally" and "grouchypants" he was today in between trying to get reception. He goes into the steward cabin to talk about being a "grinch."

Sigh.

Madison has been getting nothing but props for all her hard work this charter, yay!

The guests drink and have fun until...not that late again! I like these guys!

Ciara takes first anchor watch shift, Parker oversleeps and takes over at 4:30 am. He apologizes to Ciara, who does not share that with Paget, just that Parker was late. When Paget confronts Parker, he apologizes again and says it won't happen again. Paget is confused, asking if that's sincere or not. Parker doesn't even have the energy to fight.

Breakfast for everyone! Buffet style, like a Holiday Inn Express.

Paget tells literally every single crew member that Parker was 20 minutes late for his shift.

Time for docking, Parker has yet another meltdown, this time in front of Captain Glenn and the guests. Goodbye, Parker, it was mystifying getting to know you.

Some people are just their own worst enemies.

Finally the crew docks and it's time to say goodbye to our well-behaved charter from Playboy Slovakia. One of them has a pair of Louboutins, which they slip on as the crew watches. They're hard to walk in, apparently, but who cares? These are bloody shoes.

Primary Maisa gives the goodbye speech, but it's Primary Chuck who hands over the extremely thick tip envelope, wooooo!

Georgia and Madison work on cabins, Georgia's feeling empathy for dickmatized Jenna but Madison is non-committal. Crew meeting!! Okay okay, I'm going to guess...$25k because that was a swole envelope.

First Captain Glenn wants to talk about the charter: great service, excellent food but some serious issues behind the scenes. He says this to everyone all together, reinforcing the hierarchy once more for everyone. Oh wow, look Ciara still doesn't get in shit for saying "oh f***" to her boss, shocker.

NOW! Now the tip!! Oh. Okay. $18k. Okay. That's good, right? $2,000 each, deal!

Parker gets pulled aside for a meeting before the bubbles are even out of the champagne. Parker does not understand how insubordinate he's being, arguing as Captain Glenn is trying to give him instruction. He's interrupting and talking over top of his boss's boss, he.still.doesn't.get.it. You have to understand, they don't come any nicer and laid back than Captain Glenn and when he's starting to lose his cool, it's all over.

Captain Glenn calls Paget to join them, these two guys actually want Parker to succeed and I don't know that I saw that before. They're trying to help him make the right choices to stay, but Parker is sulking and in his head and he doesn't feel as though they like/want/appreciate him enough.

Ohhhhh he brings up how Ciara talks to Paget, which makes me jump but just exasperates Captain Glenn. That just proves to him that Parker does not get the point, he's unable to take control of his emotions.

Parker complains about rooming with Adam, who doesn't like that he never cleans the toilet.

Annnnd we're out, you guys, without finding out how many deck crew we're leaving dock with tomorrow. Really, I'm good either way, maybe Parker needs some time to chill somewhere far, far away but they also need to stop hounding him about minor things like the late anchor watch like it's a TPS report. Until next time, cheers!

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