Below Deck Mediterranean S2:E10 Kissing Up Recap

Hey everyone! Welcome back to Below Deck Mediterranean where guests are there for the amusement of the crew, APPARENTLY. Rolling S2:E10 Kissing Up after the break.

We start where we left off, with Chef Adam Glick hurling personal insults at chief stew Hannah Ferrier, trynna make himself feel better for getting dumped and getting in trouble. All she did was suggest that maybe he look more professional above deck, he reacted with his usual maturity and aplomb.

She reacted with her usual maturity and aplomb, running to ask Captain Sandy Yawn if Adam's upholding the yachting standards. He is not. I've been screaming if for months! He's still on thin ice so Captain Sandy is not taking any of his shite: just say yes, Adam.

Deckhand Bobby Giancola gets the guests drinks while second stew Christine Bugsy Drake monologues at deckhand Malia White about how much respect she's lost for Hannah, who was flirting (sucking face) with a guest and putting on their tips at risk.

Guuuurl, she was WERKING for your tip! And his. YOU'RE WELCOME!

Hannah complains to Captain Sandy about Adam some more, she can't BELIEVE it! She's just used to different standards. Captain Sandy stops her right there: after you tried humping a guest in a closet you have no room to talk, lady.

Hahahahaha I love Captain Sandy.

Sorry not sorry everyone's not getting along, everything's coming up roses for third stew Lauren Cohen in her bigger bunk in Hannah's room.

Adam serves lunch and bakes cookies for everyone; bringing Malia one with ice cream in her bunk because she's on break.

Lauren makes me laugh when she walks back into the galley and gives her order; her break is between two and four, she likes vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce!

Captain Sandy gives bosun Wesley Walton a break by suggesting that he and Malia take the guests for a walk when they dock. Remember to scoop, Wes! It's the law.

So of course Adam took that constructive criticism from Captain Sandy and Hannah and won't be acting like a truculent toddler. HAHAHAHAHAHA right.

"Let's get Bugsy, she's our little bartender" he says when Hannah asks him what tequila he's planned to go with his Tequila-themed dinner. I mean

Wes and Malia get ice cream, walk and talk, she's not planning to tell him about her and Adam knowing each other before, why disclose something that doesn't matter any more? WHAT ABOUT SANTORINI?? THE PENTHOUSE??

Hannah pushes her anti-Adam agenda some more; his food is just not five star and Captain Sandy has to agree. Deckhand Max Hagley clocks every word.

The guests love their ground pork and individual cheese bowls; Primary Guest Lauren is just happy this is the last day on the boat. There's a gym upstairs!

Max runs to below deck to tattle on Hannah; Malia leads the chorus of Hannah Sucks and I think I'm just about over her too.

The guests love their chicken with mole sauce; I've always wanted to make it but it's not for the faint of heart. Max makes a point of telling Adam everything Hannah said earlier about his ho-hum food while he's still serving. Come on, Max!

The guests have a super great evening; retiring early while Bugsy bitches about having to do all the night work. Hannah's realised she's in for it with the gang and tells Lauren to prepare for war.

The guests are having a great charter, I don't know what Hannah's complaining about

The guest love WesIsMore's Inchworm!

Now it's Bugsy's turn to do a slug-off with the guests, hahaha. Everyone goes to bed and Malia gets up to relieve Wes in anchor watch. He asks her out on a date and they make out WHILE NOBODY WATCHES THE ANCHOR. What's interesting to me is that she's kissing HIM, not the other way around.

Hannah and Adam go at it again in the morning; he confronts her about saying his food is boring and she explains that she's here to make money, not friends. This isn't RuPaul's Best Friend Race!

She leaves with a "I'm used to a different standard, I guess"

*googling burn centres in the Mediterranean area*

Primary Lauren gives a great goodbye (a guest shouting Wes Is More; also awesome) but a thin envelope? We shall see! I'm going to say $14,000 based on absolutely nothing.

I was close! It's $15,000 which means $1363 each and that isn't bad! The next group of charter guests want to be picked up at their hotel, so we now know what to expect from them. That's like Dean Slover behaviour.

Captain Badass knows they're a team now, though! It's as though she has no clue at all about her crew, who are at their most fractured right now. It will get better! This is just the getting worse part of getting better.

Captain Sandy wants Wes to pick a Lead Deckhand; he dithers between Malia who is grasping concepts more quickly than more experienced Bobby. Captain Sandy is an awesome leader, she believes in mentoring and helping people grow and rewards behaviour as people grow on the journey. She let Max have a turn taking the boat off the dock and he did excellently, they've all grown so much! She thinks Wes needs a little more help than he's letting on, let your peeps assist you!

Crew night out and everyone is fresh to death; Hannah makes me oooohhh-laugh in admiration.

Max takes the torch for the crew while Bobby runs away like a scared little girl; Hannah tries to deflect the attention from her own unprofessional behaviour to make the point that they were reading the messages of a Primary Charter Guest, but Max points out that it doesn't make what she did any better. She tells about the kissing, still a massive breach of privacy.

Thaaaat pretty much ends the night, with Hannah alone and on the couch and everyone else standing by the water.

Time for pre-charter meeting with the Captain! The Primary Guests are Jeremy and Maureen Straub, hello Mr. and Mrs. High Maintenance! They're traveling with realtor friends, some of who are yacht brokers. Hannah is no longer looking forward to this charter, joining Adam in groaning. Jennifer Abbott and Shannon McCoy round out the group; Captain Sandy knows she will be under the microscope but I'm not worried about Captain Badass.

Captain Sandy has mentioned Adam's food three times today, the last time she tells him she wants him cooking as though he's in a competition. Hannah's hologram whispers "no soup or salad....woooooo"

Hannah tries to smooth things over with Bugsy; the messages only came after previous Primary Guest Jason Ziegler left the boat. She would swear on her father's life. Hannah. We saw the messages. Don't do that. NOT THAT WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE MESSAGES. Bugsy and Hannah hug it out and agree to move forward, Hannah's gonna need all of Bugsy's acrylic tableware expertise for the upcoming charter.

Guest arrival time! Bugsy wants to know who the yacht broker is

There she is! Captain Sandy says the pressure is on!

Wow, the guest are crazy attractive. Purtier than the boat! Boat tour, then drinks and platter time, pour it on Adam!

Wes is impressed with Malia wanting to know more and more on the boat; he's building a business case for giving her the promotion but Bobby and I don't believe it. Maybe Bobby's not a self-starter, but you're spoonfeeding everything to Malia and I don't really see that as initiative either.

First meal with Shannon the Yacht Broker! She really likes decor, that's Bugsy's realm so the pressure's on! They both laugh and laugh like it's not going to be fucking awful, every move being clocked.

Dessert time and Adam's been working on a watermelon lime granita all afternoon; yacht broker Shannon asks if it came out of a box.


You're a Fancy Realtor Of The Seas and you don't know that you can't possibly whip up granita from a box? Bih plees.

Times up for Wes Is More; who's he going to choose as his lead deckhand? Bobby is rightly suspecting that it won't be him; Wes schedules all of his time with Malia so he hasn't see Bobby take any initiative, how could he choose him? And we're out.

I guess the only different thing I saw this episode is what a freaking gossip Max is. Always off in corners nattering about whoever is in disfavour this week. He told everyone about Jason Zielgler kissing Hannah on charter; whatta shit stirrer. I don't dig Adam Glick much more, what with insisting on playing the Hannah Has No Friends Game, while she's at work. Yeah just keep loading up on that principle that women have to be competent AND likeable to do their jobs, and not just to the clients. It's just the menz who get to be temperamental arseholes as long as they're talented, is it?

See, I told you I'd get it up tonight! Woo hoo! I kind of miss the days when DJ would yell at me for posting late; maybe she'll pop around. You just c'ain't never tell! Until next time