Below Deck Mediterranean S7:E08 Wine Im-pairing Recap

Hiya and welcome back aboard the Good Ship HitsEverything on Below Deck Mediterranean, are any of our boatmances surviving at all? Let’s find out after the break in my recap of Below Deck Med S7:E08 Wine Im-pairing!

We’ve got a boatmance on the rocks, whoop whoop whoop! Someone help provisional bosun Storm Smith and second steward Natalya Scudder back to safety! Storm asked Nat out on a date but he’s just been made provisional bosun and that was literally all he could think about. Nat wanted to dance and do shots; she was a bit of a jerk about it, calling him emotional and saying she didn’t want that.

They decide to just start again the next morning, it’s hard to express yourself clearly through a bottle of 40-proof.

Captain Sandy Yawn calls Storm, chief steward Natasha Webb and chef Dave White for a Preference Sheet Meeting; two thirds of those are the other boatmance, but one that has gone horribly awry. Tasha and Dave used to hook up, now they’ve split up and she’s gone back to her boyfriend: Dave does not like that.

On to the important stuff! Preference Sheet Meetings tell us who is coming on luxury motor yacht Home next, who is it?? Adam Spinner, an impossible to Google name. His sister Jennifer Spinner is coming as well to help celebrate Adam’s 30th birthday party.

Everything seems fine during the meeting, but right after Dave goes right at Tasha. He’s angry that she’s gone back to the boyfriend she was with when she and Dave started hooking up. This time he’s sober when he says such shitty things as ‘I deserve way better than you anyway.” “You’re on your own now, girl.”

Again: completely unprovoked. He can’t blame this on her avoiding him, on drinking, this is just Dave in his purest form.

Tasha reminds Dave that they have to work together, they have to be professional but he won’t talk to her unless he has to, he’s very clear about that. Captain Sandy walks in then and asks about the tension in the air. She asks questions and gets them to affirm they’ll work together, but it’s going to be tricky and all three know it.

They try to make us care about the deck crew but I am unable, currently. Newest deckhand Courtney Veale is doing great, she works well with Storm and especially deckhand Mzi ‘Zee’ Dempers with whom she has a great friendship from last season when she was a steward.

We never hear about deckhand Jason Gaskell any more because he’s very chill and not fitting in super great with the rest of the group.

Second steward Kyle Vilojen fans himself with guest preference sheets; everyone is so hot! He’s going to get in trouble this charter.

Spoiler alert: this is not idle talk, this is foreshadowing!

It’s extremely quiet in the galley, which is the opposite of the laundry room where Nat and Kyle are shouting at each other over laundry strategy of all things.

The slide has finally arrived! Deck crews loathe the water slide but guests love it and it’s good news they’ve got it. Unfortunately, nobody knows how to get it to the ship. It’s suuuuuper heavy.

It’s Courtney who helps get it aboard, and just in time for guest arrival! They’re mostly male and very attractive and as gay as Kyle, who is excitedly surveying the oncoming gang.

It’s tall and handsome Frank with the huge smile that gets all of Kyle’s attention, he reminds me of an actor….I’ll think of it. Awwww, Primary Adam leads a ‘cheers to the queers’ and I wish I had that as a gif!

Tasha takes the guests on a boat tour while Storm does too much, according to Jason.

A very smooth de-docking later, Captain Sandy swings out of the marina and everyone can breathe again.

Kyle checks his hair.

Guest Liam comes out on deck in a blindingly hot pink bikini bottom, Nat calls it ‘hot girl summer’ and she’s not wrong.

Kyle and Frank flirt in the most adorable way, I know there are rules about guests and crew mixing but this really needs to happen! They’re both shy and twitterpated and I love the innocence of their awesome flirtation.

Tasha loves it too, but Captain Sandy is not going to happy if Kyle crosses any lines so keep it together, Kyle!

They set anchor in the middle of the ocean as Frank comes to find Kyle for a chat about where he’s from. He’s dancing with the devil!

Dave is really struggling with his feelings over Tasha, who wants absolutely nothing to do with him. His food is fantastic, though, the guests are very happy.

The slide continues to be a problem. Only Mzi has worked with this slide before and the motoryacht Home has never had a slide before so Storm has his bands full. Somehow Storm and Jason get into a fight about bowline knots, Jason needs to remember to be respectful when he’s talking to people, even if they’re wrong.

I have no clue which one is right, but swearing at your boss is not a good look for anyone.

The slide is up, the longest lunch ever (with lingering looks between Kyle and Frank) is over and it’s time for water shenanigans! Wooooo!

Liam HAD to have been a gymnast in a past life; I love how bouncy he is. It’s such a contrast between him with his frosted tips and tiny bikini bottoms and everyone else in their bro-swimshorts.

Extremely awkward in the galley; Tasha has to hold down the pasta machine for Dave so their faces are literally inches from each other as they discuss the night’s menu. Tasha is determined to do a wine-pairing with supper, Dave thinks it’s stupid because he likes her but is hurt and doesn’t express his feelings without emotional violence.

Is that too much? Maybe.

Kyle sits with the guests on his break; he’s living his best life right now.

Jason ignores Storm during a risky maneuver with the water trampoline; Storm’s over all of this. I wonder when he’ll mention something to Captain Sandy? He tells us he’s going to find out what Jason’s super good at and motivate him to do that.


It’s time for a Trip Around The World via dinner with wine-pairing, wooooo! Classy supper coming up!

Except the guests love the wine pairing and that changes Dave’s buffet plan. They manage to communicate with a minimum of anger, so maybe thing will be alright? Dave is mad about the quality of his feed declining and Kyle’s not any happier about it.

Tasha introduces the wrong food so a pairing is wrong; Kyle is frustrated as the entire deck crew has gone to bed and Dave’s mad about his food. That’s where we leave it for tonight, cheers all!