We’re almost done another charter on Below Deck; that means it’s almost TIP TIME woooooo!! Who’s ready to see the money? How about a bunch of intoxicated yachties making out with each other? Me TOO! Rolling into my recap of Below Deck S9:E06 He Kissed A Boy And He Liked It after the break!
We open just after breakfast on the high seas, okay somewhere hot anyway, with bosun / First Officer Eddie Lucas castigating his crew for losing things overboard. He just got yelled at by his boss, Captain Lee Rosbach, so this is the yachting version of trickle-down smackdowns.
I want to take it seriously, but the wind is terrible and they already lost a bunch of cushions overboard but the whole deck crew is moving full speed ahead on setting up a giant inflatable trampoline. We saw one just like it in the previews, flying away into the ocean.
Lead deckhand Jake Foulger does tell his crew to tie it on so it doesn’t blow away, perhaps we need an investigation of the knots whomever isn’t using!!
It’s deckhand Rayna Lindsey holding the line, tie it tight!
This is when we need Brian from season one of Below Deck Mediterranean, he could do a little webinar on knot-tying.
Chef Rachel Hargrove delivers breakfast to Captain Lee, it is weird that it skeeves me out that he calls her ‘Sweetie”? Chief steward Heather Chase is up in the Bridge excitedly sharing about the 80’s party planned for tonight, Captain Lee and I are all ‘ehh.’
We did the 80’s once.
It was nowhere near as fashionable as people think it was and most of the music blew chunks. You only hear the good stuff these days and they mix up all the clothing trends and and
Getting a cuppa tea, brb.
Captain Lee asks Heather about third steward Jessica Albert, who’s been a bit down lately. There’s some family stuff going on back home and it’s hard to be perky perfect while you’re that far away and you can’t help. Also, Heather and second steward Fraser Olender need to relax about Jessica, she’s below deck doing laundry literally all the time, not bumming out guests or anything with her LEGITIMATE SADNESS.
Rache’s making a Mexican fiesta meal, but I think she means Tex-Mex. Even if she lived in La Paz for some time, the first things we see are Doritos and greasy ground beef.
The guests have an awesome time on water toys on the beautiful water, omigod it almost makes me want to travel. Just gorgeous! Rayna’s out there jumping around on the trampoline with six-year-old guest Alexander Morton.
Fraser and Heather visit while setting the outside table, I love that they’re taping down placemats with painter’s blue tape! Heather’s in a relationship (SHOW US) but Fraser has been single for a bit.
FORESHADOWING
We know he makes out with Jake later, super hot.
Is there…something wrong with Fraser’s skin? He’s maybe wearing a mask? I cannot tell but there is some sort of unevenly applied beige substance all over his face except for right up against his eyes and halfway down his neck. Be well!
For someone so encourage-y about proper etiquette and everything, I am surprised that Heather sets the table without white gloves and touches water glasses with her bare hands. Weird.
Deckhand Wes O’Dell has been crushing on Jessica, in theory, which we’ve never actually seen…but apparently is true because his boss Jake and Jessica’s boss Heather have decided to encourage their romance.
You don’t usually get boring people on these shows, but here we are.
For the record, the only thing interesting about watching me on TV would be all the time you’d get to sleep.
The entire deck crew sits around on the swimdeck talking about Jake projectile pooping when disaster strikes.
Do you think Captain Lee saw??
Eddie is in so.much trouble!!
Wes takes off after it in a jetski and brings it back, just like Baywatch! Except he talks about The Rock and I don’t understand? Ohhhh he must mean the new Baywatch. Anyway, he’s sort of like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson?
Captain Lee is waiting and grunting back at the boat, he immediately directs them to deflate and store the Trampoline Of The Sea. At least he’s feeling relatively calm about it!
It’s such a good thing nobody was on that trampoline when it look to the air, I’ll tell you what.
The kids on charter are so chill, I like them so much more than most kids we see on here!
Rayna asks Wes who he would have consensual sex with if not Jessica and he somehow thinks this is her asking if he would with her. She reacts poorly to his courtesy.
Rayna, I’m not going to tell you your business but I have to tell you that Jake has much lighter skin than Wes.
The crew has been given a bunch of 80s spandex to wear for the fitness party tonight to celebrate Co-Primary Ronnie Weiss’s 75th birthday. Jake puts on his leotard thong three hours early because of course he does. Fraser calls Jake ‘effortlessly chic’ and sure, I guess that’s another way to say ‘walking around with his balls out.’
The guests dress for dinner and start getting antsy around 8 pm, which is 30 minutes past the time they said they wanted to eat. Rachel is still cooking giant hunks of meat and crab legs, which she calls classic 80’s steakhouse.
I just think she could have done some really awesome stuff with an 80’s diet-themed menu to go with the fitness party!
Rayna and Heather are starting to butt heads, interesting.
For Christmas, I am giving Heather tongs because she needs more than she has and yet; still does not provide 5-star service at any point.
Heather sends everyone to get into 80’s gear, Jake will NOT stop jamming his costume up his bum. This appears to be a trend with our Jake.
They’re having so much fun that nobody’s answering the radio as Heather calls over and over again that Rachel should know she’s clearing the table. I have no idea why Rachel needs to know this.
Eddie does a full Randy ‘The Macho Man’ Savage and I couldn’t love him more. Nope, could not.
*not pictured: Jake’s butt.
But. There’s no party! They just sing happy birthday and then everyone goes to bed! That’s a lot of spandex and not one cheese power ballad.
I am disappoint.
Fraser is REALLY gunning for Jessica, whom he insists is bringing him down. Just…relax.
The next morning everything feels very chill, above and below deck. Lobster Benedict is on the horizon and I’m just going to say it: this whole tip is going to be about Rachel’s food.
Rayna gets a call from Ozzie, who she’s dating back on the mainland. Is he going to be okay with all the shenanigans? I mean, they’re not married or anything but.
She’s super slow on deck again, is this just her? The Captain is going to be super pissed if the deckies mess up docking again by being unprepared.
I’m so nervous! But they do great, yay! No yelling at Eddie today!
Maybe later.
It’s a lovely goodbye to a nice charter with Co-Primaries Ronnie and Jeremy Morton. Jeremy’s wife Stacie Morton got all the screen time, she was lovely and personable and adored the food. You remember when Alex came on board with a small box handcuffed to his wrist full of money? That’s what they hand over for the tip wooooo.
What’s in the box, Cap?!
So there wasn’t one single problem this whole charter, they even tried to make a story Heather not having enough serving tongs but nope. So the tip must be good; I’m going to guess…$20k USD?
No! It’s $25,000 USD! I thought of it but I thought that was WAY too high woooooo! Yay!! how much is that each?? They don’t tell us. *sad panda*
Time to go out and party!! Once Rachel’s done making it rain all over Heather, whenever you guys are ready. Any time.
Where do you go when you START with shots?
Jake flirts with Heather throughout supper while Rayna watches in disgust. Aw, it seems Wes really does like Jessica, unfortunately she looks like someone he had a huge crush on that broke his heart. He stopped taking chances, will he take one tonight?
Nope, just Jake taking all the chances tonight, starting with kissing all over Fraser’s face, somehow undressing him mostly (who knew Fraser had six-pack abs??) then himself entirely and jumping in the restaurant’s pool fully naked.
Captain Lee’s first rule is: don’t embarrass the boat, so we’ll see…
Fraser strips down to his underwear and jumps in with him, this is a cheerful night although watching Jake belly-crawl across the flagstone pool area with his junk out looked very, very painful.
The team splits into two cabs and heads back to the superyacht, Fraser and Jake cuddled up in the backseat of one. Heather and Rayna are in the front seat, they decide to play Truth of Dare because of course they do. Rayna dares Fraser and Jake to kiss while Heather films it with her phone, that’s not even a little surprising since Rayna already asked if she could watch them hook up.
Somehow we make it back aboard without anyone getting pregnant, but there’s the whole hot tub in front of us.
First Eddie sets his hair on fire.
It’s actually a pretty muted night after that, once the team stops shouting about the burnt hair smell. Everyone goes to bed solo.
It’s a quiet hungover morning for everyone but Jake, who is still drunk. Neither he nor Fraser remember making out the night before, thank goodness Heather filmed that with her phone and shared it with literally everyone.
Fraser is devastated, he is worried that now Jake will think he likes him and it will wreck their friendship. Aw Fraser, look, Jake was kissing YOU much more than the other way around. I feel bad that Jake played with your feelings like that, you and your six-pack abs.
Until next time! Cheers!
