Woooooo who's up for a Billions threepeat? Me TOO! Let's roll S3:E07 Not You, Mr. Dake after the break!
We left on a cliffhanger, with Bobby "Axe" Axelrod (Damian Lewis) hosting an unusual party at his swank new bachelor pad, Dr. Wendy Rhoades (Maggie Siff) and her hubs Chuck Rhoades Jr. (Paul Giamatti). For weeks Bobby's been chasing after a slide with a toxin AND his fingerprints on it and Chuck just slammed it onto the table like a winning lottery ticket. Which, for him, it kinda was, so what's he doing giving it up?
Also: IS he giving it up? Chuck is a master of the cheesetastic switcheroo, did he bring an extra slide with him? All these questions to be answered and more, here on Billions S3:E07.
We go back a bit to Chuck explaining his sabotage plan to Dr. Gilbert (Seth Barrish), who gave him the Slide of Doom in the first place. Dr. Gilbert allllmost even feels bad. Chuck chives him oddly into saying he doesn't actually feel bad about framing Bobby, I can't tell what angle he's working there.
Back at Bobby's apartment, the trio workshop the main problem in front of them: how to hide Wendy's trade during the Ice Juice stock meltdown (here, go read Golden Frog Time). Wendy voices it for everyone: who's their patsy?
Dr. Gilbert and his family are enjoying ice cream in front of the TV when the FBI burst in, guess where the slide is? Taped to a ketchup bottle in Dr. Patsy's fridge!
Last episode we had Chuck setting up a search for the following day, we were meant to think it was on Bobby's place but there we are.
Chuck pretends to introduce himself in the interview room to the mastermind of the Ice Juice fiasco, Dr. Gilbert is looking for a lawyer instead. Looks like we're hanging Wendy's trade on the good doctor too! Chuck pressures even goes biblical but Dr. Gilbert continues to pull a Dollar Bill: lawyer LAWYER lawyeeeerrrrrrrr.
Judge Adam DeGuilio (Rob Morrison) wants Bryan Connerty's (Toby Leonard Moore) franks and beans on the table, does he have evidence to present against Bobby or not? Sort of?
Bobby's found Hall (Terry Kinney), his old security team who has apparently gone to seed on the coast, wearing a massive grey merkin on his face but agreeable to sorting out Bobby's requested hack that the young 'uns have given up on.
Oliver Dake (Christopher Denham) has called Karl Allard (Allan Harvey) for details about what's really going on in Chuck's office, but Dake should have known he was in trouble when he had to explain why he was asking Karl. "'Member Karl? When I got you in there to spy? You're my guy, Karl!" Karl is not your guy, Dake.
Bach and Bryan's squabbling in court is pissing off Judge DeGuilio so he brings them into his chambers so Bryan doesn't say something untoward about Chuck in public.
Bobby presents Mafee (Dan Soder) with a hypothetical: basically, would your murder for AXE Capital and / or Bobby himself? Sure!
Bobby's on to Taylor Mason (Asia Kate Dillon) to ask how to motivate Mafee (I totally don't believe Bobby doesn't know every single thing about every single employee), they think the key to Mafee lies in his sense of honour.
I just love Taylor.
Hall shaves off his face wombat and and finds the guy who can hack into the system Bobby wants him to, why we gotta see boobs, Billions? I will need some form of equity, fellas. And soon.
Taylor and Mafee bond some more, last season was all about Taylor's eternal soul, are we fighting for Mafee this time?
Ahhhh, the FBI wants him to testify about Wendy's trade. Gotcha.
Mike "Wags" Wagner (David Costabile) wants to rough Mafee up, but Dr. Wendy has another idea, involving his monologue about her bum.
Side note: the security team and Bach leaning back saying "aaahhhhh" when she said Mafee "liked" her was hilarious. Would make a great gif, if someone was into that kind of thing.
Taylor rushes into Wendy's office; how does she know when it's okay to give advice? They know what Wendy's plan is for Mafee and wants to know if she thinks she has the authority to direct his path. They expect Wendy to do "the right thing."
Bryan explains his whole story to Judge DeGuilio and Bach (um, Bad News Bears are the good guys, Bryan - was the best part of that) but his leaning on the Wendy evidence is making everyone squirm.
Dr. Wendy herself hasn't waited any longer for Mafee to come to her, she's at his apartment in one of her trademark skintight simple black dresses.
What must it be like to never be able to sit down or walk faster than a (sexy?) hobble?
Mafee thinks he's getting fired, not laid, so. Wendy is there to talk about "the truth of us."
I hurt myself rolling my eyes then.
Listening to Wendy sweeten her voice, widen her eyes and sigh a lot while explaining makes me almost hurt myself making masturbatory motions at the TV.
Then her hand is on his knee, his real name is on her lips, then she has to go, Dudley.
Judge DeGuilio is excited about Bryan's case, time to continue the trial! Bryan is very excited, right until FBI agent Terri McCue (Susan Misener) walks in with the bad news about Mafee. That hack created some phone records that lets Mafee off the hook.
Waylon "Jock" Jeffcoat (Clancy Brown) gives Bryan the unfortunate update and Chuck the good news, nobody will be tangling with Bobby any time soon! Woooooo wait, Bobby's not actually awesome. Chuck advocates to prosecute the doctor anyway, then Bryan will be heading back to the Southern District of New York to work with Chuck again, oooooh.
Oh but it's not business as usual for everyone, in fact Not You, Mr. Dake is what stops him in his tracks. He's being fired.
Reporter Randy Kornbluth (Brian Berrebbi) is in the gallery as the case against Bobby is dismissed, everyone but Bryan is 'CITED!
Chuck heads in for round two with Dr. Gilbert, he's gone back to the Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid analogies from season one. Dr. Gilbert is about to face his own "noble death." Blah blah blah blaaahhhhhhh Chuck blaahhhhhh.
Chuck pulls out the faked Ice Juice trade and Dr. Gilbert gets the full shape of what he's up against. He dismisses his lawyer and we get some real talk. I can't feel that bad for Gilbert because he allowed Donnie to die, which is the point Chuck makes just as I think that. I am so sad that Chuck Rhoades Jr. is in my melon.
Dr. Gilbert cries and capitulates. He asks only one question: how did the slide get planted on him? Chuck used Roland from last time!
Bryan finds Kate Sacker (Condola Rashad) drinking with work pals in the bar, he used to admire her "political fluidity" just as she used to admire his integrity, which she now she sees as stupidity. They're both right!
Bobby settles up with Mafee, who's sold his soul for one million in cryptocurrency and is feeling the loss.
Chuck greets Dake as he leaves with his tail between his legs and office packed in briefcases. He'll be back, Chuck's sure!
Wendy pays Mafee for reals with a scorching "platonic" kiss and sends him into the night.
Chuck's brought his dad a set of (miraculous?) golf clubs to symbolize their renewed relationship. But. Chuck Sr. (Jeffrey DeMunn) is such a DICK. You hate him, Jr.! Chuck's having a hard time rebounding from this last win, it cost a lot.
The gang at AXE Capital is trying to celebrate too, Wendy gets all dressed up for Chuck, but doesn't have the wind in her BDSM sails either. They're just gonna cuddle.
Bobby and Wags are partying like rock stars instead, Bobby getting naked into a hot tub with a trio of young ladies. He looks so upset that I can't tell if he's having a heart attack or just upset that he's not bass fishing. We're out.