Hello! It's Week 6 on the Great British Bake Off already! I was shocked at who went home AND who won last week, so let's get right to it, shall we? Rolling into my recap of GBBO S12:E06 Pasty Week after the break!
In a horrendous twist of vegan fate, we lost one of my frontrunners last week: godspeed Freya, you were fantastic and I really did see you in the final. We also had an Italian giraffe win German Week from under the nose of our German baker, what happened, Jürgen?? How did Giuseppe waltz his incredibly long legs in there and steal it from under your nose? It boggles.
This is Pastry Week, not for the faint of heart and somehow, we've still got the incomprehensible Lizzie rolling out dough at her messy bench. I did not and would not have foreseen that coming whatsover.
Crystelle is still on deck, she has had some truly amazing bakes so I'm not mad about it. I am slightly worried at how emotionally invested she seems in each judging, but to be honest: they're probably all pooping themselves and she's just more transparent.
Oh Amanda, ye of the cheeky talk and the traditional if erratic bakes. Not to be underestimated!
Chigs took us all by surprise, how far can this baking neophyte go? All the way? After watching him not chill his dough in Biscuit Week, I doubt it BUT his Pavlova says perhaps.
Last, but not least, is our Greek George who can only bake in the Cypriot fashion: not mad about it. He has been swinging about all over the place, he, Amanda and Lizzie have the most variability in the quality of their bakes so we'll see how much longer we get to keep him.
Judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith file into the baketent as hosts Noel Fielding and Matthew Lucas introduce our baketestants to their first challenge of Pastry Week: two batches of choux-nuts. Is that like doughnuts but made out of choux pastry? Interesting.
This is what Paul, Prue and I think of most of Matt's humour.
There are six of something, six of something else, yes yes, sounds difficult and mostly I'd just like them to stop saying "nuts' so often.
Lizzie has sweaty elbows just thinking about deep frying anything.
George is exactly opposite, he's excited about screamingly hot fat.
Is this sort of like a churro?
Chigs. You're making a Paris Brest pastry? I am impressed.
Giuseppe has decided to incorporate limoncello which makes no sense but he's waited so long!
Crystelle is making my least favourite choux-anything, using a miso caramel blend for its 'umami undertones." People know what that makes them sound like, right? Rhymes with
Oh look, I was wrong, Amanda's got the worst flavours of the week (FOR ME), I cannot state how much I dislike maple bacon anything without profanity, so I shall just post pics without further comment.
Oooh I like the colour of Jürgen's filling!
I worry that Chigs' dough is too soft, it seems very runny. I dislike deep fried food, I can feel the heartburn from here.
I guess I should be more concerned about George spending a full minute opening his tongs as Paul watches.
Watching Crystelle dip her chouxnuts in passionfruit whatever with her bare hands make me. Okay, maybe it's me, right?
That's not decorated, that's dunked. And possibly suffering from leprosy.
Judging! Go George and your confusing tongs!
He does quite well, but his Chantilly cream filling didn't make it all the way around, prompting a teachable moment from Prue. She explains that she quite often "uses two holes so I can squirt" as Paul and Matt try not to hurt themselves not laughing out loud.
I mean. They're so ugly, Jürgen! But apparently they taste amazing.
Chigs' look marvellous and taste good as well.
Giuseppe has done a great job except for too much limoncello, said nobody ever.
I want to like Crystelle's except that I hate literally every flavour she's used so here we are. Her choux was fried at the wrong temperature.
Maple bacon is up next.
I mean, I guess these look alright, even if Lizzie hates them? The judges like them rather a lot, Prue would buy them in a shop even. I would maybe give the top ones a second look but the bottom ones look radioactive. Interesting doesn't always translate to: yummy looking.
That's it for the Signature Challenge woooo! Onward to the Technical, which is Paul's and sounds terribly fraught. He advises the bakestestants to not waste any time and when was there time to do that anyway? It's Week 6!
Oh I see, it's a large baklava with phyllo pastry. No problem, just super thin with loads of butter and walnuts, right? Easy peasy!*
*I have never made my own phyllo pastry.
This should be George's challenge to lose because of Baklava's Greek heritage but he is as clueless as everyone else.
Why are they creating lamination using cornflour instead of butter?????? Butter's the good part!!
From the least awesome to Jürgen, we have:
- 7th - Lizzie
- 6th - George
- 5th - Amanda
- 4th - Giuseppe, an unusually low finish for last week's Star Baker. Just slightly underdone
- 3rd - Chigs
- 2nd is an ecstatic Crystelle, she's never got that high before!
- Jürgen takes another Technical crown. The man can bake.
The bakers regroup, although most people did relatively well, it's time for a very difficult Show Stopper challenge. Oh. It's a terrine pie. Gross. I associate that with fish gelatin but Noel brings up Flavor Flav and I cannot love it more. And then Matt jumps in and whatever.
Okay, highly decorated terrine with a meat pate inside, go! Four and a half hours!
I have a great tourtierre recipe...
But then Jürgen has one with beets and sauerkraut, HARD PASS.
Aw, Giuseppe's owl is adorable.
But his wife is a much better baker than him?????? HOW??
I would 100% fight Paul for that terrine if it turns out well.
I bet Noel and Matt drew straws over who got to say "George's giant sausage is rock hard." It's been that kind of episode, hasn't it??
Why are there gherkins in a baked pie?
Now the baking!
Except for George and Amanda who are just messing about.
Amanda nominates George to teach them Greek dancing and we're at it! Until George realises his very-late-in-the-oven-pie needs work. He pulls his pie out of the oven, he's not going to have time to cool it or anything. Jayyyysssss wept.
All of the other pies unmold well after cooling, what are Amanda and George going to be looking at. Chigs terrine is leaking like a mofo but it it still looks 100% better than George's. Oh no. The Curse of the Soggy Bottom!
And then Amanda's entire top comes off. Chigs rushes over to help but I dunno
Right, well, there's no help for it, we've got to move forward into judging.
Lizzie is first; I mean, it looks interesting?
But as me mum would say: it's what's inside that counts:
The pastry was too thick but it tasted great. Lookit the fish in the middle, I didn't even see that at first! Genius.
Omigosh look how fantastic Giuseppe's owl looks?
It's 'very Giuseppe' which means...professional? Giraffe-like? I noticed him laughing during Amanda's trial and tribulations and I can't help but feel some type of way about it.
Chigs cracked and leaking but at least the design is 'uninspiring'?
Come through Jürgen, with your perfect design and nightmare flavours. Bit dry.
Amanda, well, anyway.
Not that George is doing much better. These two are sort of neck and neck for bottom, yes?
It's undercooked enough that Paul asks worriedly about the sausage; is it to temperature? George assures him it is.
By contrast, Crystelle's is gorgeous and intricate.
It tastes bloody fantastic as well. Paul tricks Crystelle to coming to the front for a Hollywood Handshake so we can all cry on this, the first day of the new year 2022.
I will guess that Crystelle is Star Baker and good on her! She performed better in the Technical than Giuseppe and I think that should give her the edge.
I can't decide who will most likely go home but it kind of has to be George or Amanda. I'm leaning toward George and I am sad to lose my fellow feeder. Let's see what the judges think!
Week 6 Star Baker: Crystelle
and going home: Amanda. Good job, Amanda, top 6 in all of Britain!! You're fabulous!
Yay, I get my Greek feeder for another week, yay! Until next time, you lot, for Caramel Week booooo. I hate caramel! We have a whole week of that?? Barf. Okay, kidding, (not kidding), see you then!! Cheers