Happy Holidays!

So what is this now? I don’t even know, do you think it’s a preview? I can’t even tell, you take two /three measly months off and they add blocky-thingys. Like where’s the actual post? What? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Oh, so you add stuff in blocks paragraph by paragraph? For the love of

Hi everyone! Is everyone having a good fall? I’m slightly confused, but you know what? We’re just gonna push through.

So it’s the holidays! Hands up if you want to stab the next person who says “all set for Christmas?” somewhere non-fatal?

Why would they change the whole format of WordPress? It’s so WEIRD.

I took a little break from all things social media and it was really good for a few things: for one, I didn’t hear one alarmist or overstated or gross claim/counterclaim about the current president of the United States, that was fun! I also had a bunch of extra time so I worked a whole bunch and read a lot and applied for school and read and worked some more.

I went through a RomCom/Takeaway stage, where I mourned the end of a longterm long distance relationship by watching every single romantic comedy I could stream and eating a truly ridiculous amount of unfortunate food in cardboard containers while carefully feeding my children broccoli and lean meats. I think I liked the Bridesmaids rewatch the most because of two things: watching women be profane at great length was fucking AWESOME and so were the gross jokes.

After the romcoms I watched hockey. I watched hockey every.single.day and I loved it. In case we’ve just met, I hate romcoms almost as much as I hate hockey. Or do I? Fredrick Backman and his books Beartown and Us Against You opened my mind to the idea that hockey is just one violent rosary meditation chain, where young men and boys (still mostly boys, although I see a couple of girls on the ice here and there) can lose themselves in something physical. Something connective and raw and occasionally accidentally beautiful.

Speaking of losing oneself, I have no idea of how to start recapping again. They’re too long, amirite? I mean, they’re SO LONG. Unless you’re a Sarah Lancashire or TalksTooMuch megafan, you’re not reading all the way to the end, and if you are, you need at least one hearty snack and large bottle of water. I’d like to do more personal essays, but there is just so much shite out there, so, so much.

The other thing is Transparent. Have you seen Transparent? I bingewatched all four seasons on Amazon Prime and it crushed my soul while it uplifted me. It’s one of the best shows I’ve ever seen and I am so sad that Jeffrey Tambor turned out to be a shit human being and got fired so I don’t get to see his Maura Pfefferman anymore. Don’t get me wrong: it’s flawed and wrong in many many but it’s so very funny and raw and awesome and I love it so much. It is responsible for my complete loss of faith in my own opinions. If you had asked me my opinion of Transparent 4 months ago (and you may have), I would have talked about #MeToo and understanding why it was shut down and probably blah blah blahed at great length AS I AM WONT TO DO. I probably even thought I was a decent (if not great, exactly) trans ally. But I would have been wrong and once I could see that, I could see nothing but the flaws in every single thing I had ever written. What do you do after that?

I have again struggled with the realization that I am still shite at understanding when people are not my friends, and SWEAR I am working on not talking maybe quite as much. People will show you who they are, you just have to be listening and not talking.

So this is it, the one thousandth post, which I don’t think I could have imagined three years ago. I really thought it would be a Sarah Lancashire post, as her acting is the reason I stuck with the site this long. I hope everyone has a great holidays! Merry Christmas! Are you all set? (Please don’t stab me)