It seems like AGES since I Wentworth -ed, let’s find out what Bea, Franky and the enigmatic Governor Ferguson have been up to. Rolling S2:E5 Twist the Knife after the break

We’re in the yard; Bea, Maxine and Simmo are an awesome basketball trio, I can almost hear Phil Jackson shouting “triangle!!” in the background. Franky is less impressed. She sends Boomer off to take Simmo out in a more permanent way but Maxine isn’t having that. A hard shoulder sends Boomer flying.

Will and Fletcher have been called into the Governor’s office to explain the punch Fletch took from Will; they’re very much like little boys: no it won’t happen again, might as well throw a toe-kick in there too. Vera stays after, er-ooh, Ferguson didn’t say anything about the rumpy pumpy with Meg Jackson and Fletcher, did she? “I’m on your side, Vera” and for whatever reason, I just don’t believe that.

Fletcher tries to talk to Will, but he doesn’t want to hear it. Will snarls at Vera next, don’t roster him with Fletcher, or he’ll kill him.

I’d kind of like to hear Fletcher’s explanation, but I don’t know exactly how you’d explain an affair with your best friend’s wife, OR the abortion.

Jess runs after Fletcher, look, they won basketball! Her Pollyanna bullshite is wearing me the eff oot but Fletch is still biting, enough that she walks away with a smirk, even after his caution for touching.

Simmo’s daughter Carly (Nicole Gulasekharam) is in to visit with her mum before she takes off on a vacation to Thailand (HARD pass); the Holts are paying for everything! Mind the belly balloons don’t burst, Carly. Carly’s been helping Brayden, er-ooh. They’ll be arranging for Simmo’s release too, since she helped pull Bea off Brayden. Simmo asks about Bea, but Vinny’s distracted by a turf war and doesn’t have time to get to that just now. He did kill Kat’s brother and that seems a little extreme, innit?

Boomer’s got a visitor too! It’s her sister Trina (Maria Angelico) and oh noooo she’s been seeing Des. DOES DES HAVE A MAGICAL PENIS?? How could someone date their sister’s boyfriend??? I love how Boomer looks like an angry sea lion here.

Bea’s sketching when Simmo comes in to warn her; Vinny’s busy, but the Holts don’t forget. She shows Bea pictures of Carly; she’s worried about Carly hanging around with the Holts, she wanted better for her.

I’m sure Simmo does want better for Carly, but having her mum and dad deeply involved in a vast criminal empire isn’t exactly helping, is it?

Fletcher’s searching his bedroom; he can’t find his journal with all that incriminating navel-gazing. He storms off to Wentworth looking for Will, yelling at Vera when he can’t find him. Vera points out the obvious: you’re the one in the wrong, bucko, maybe cool your jets.

The women on gardening detail are worried. The men haven’t arrived. Franky’s wondering about her next shipment of drugs and Dory’s low on vitamin D but Maxine’s just looking forward to seeing the new eye candy! Franky watches Maxine strutting around carrying heavy stuff, she needs someone like that! Boomer’s in the middle of seeking advice, but wait: Franky has her, what does she need Maxine for? She grabs two heavy bags (creeeeek) and limps away. I’m guessing she did something terrible to her back.

Bea makes her pitch to Simmo about Carly, no way Simmo is biting. How naive is Bea?

Will arrives home to a call from Vera and a kicked-in door; what the hell Fletcher?? She tells him not to call the police, she’s on her way. She wants him to think on it before calling the police; Meg was at fault too. Fletcher is at home in his okay kitchen, drinking loads of straight alcohol and ignoring Vera’s calls.

Side note: Will has the BEST kitchen. He has a built-in espresso maker!!

Franky’s trying to coax Maxine over to her table while Boomer tries to hide the fact that she’s hurt her back. When you’re the Muscle and you can’t move and there’s a strong alternative just sitting there looking for a gang, I guess you would.

Bea presses Simmo; she has some money coming from the sale of her house, she can pay someone to get to Brayden, and Simmo is over this line of thought. She’ll never turn against the Holts.

I think it’s interesting that Simmo is a doting mummy this season, much like Bea, whereas last season she was a hardcore longtime Holt bottom betch.

Boomer’s in Medical, telling Rose about her sister and Des while her back is being checked out. She jumps up when she hears Franky’s name and hides; she’s really worried Franky will pass her over for fitter and equally strong Maxine. While Maxine WOULD be an excellent enforcer, I think she’s slightly more gifted upstairs than Boomer, so I don’t think Boomer has anything to worry about.

Maxine’s meeting with her new late (work drinks) Legal Aid lawyer, he’s Ben Fisher (Tim Potter) and he’s an asshole. I mean, he has a sticky note on her file that says “6:30 TRANNY STABBED BOYFRIEND!” in full view. She’s pleading Not Guilty, which confuses Ben, who’s seen her confession to the police and which she signed. She sends him packing, he’s not going to help her get out.

Maxine is upset and wandering around the library when Franky makes yet another move, but this one might actually work. She tells Maxine that if her lawyer displayed genuine discrimination, she can get him replaced. Is the sticky enough?

Franky takes her through her plea, this is the face she gives when Maxine says Crime of Passion:

How about Diminished Capacity instead? And then they talk and carry on and Boomer comes in just as Franky says she could use someone like Maxine on her crew. You know, someone strong! Boomer tries to talk but Franky sends her away and I’m so worried about our teddy bear. Maxine is not doing for any henchwomaning hahahahaha that’s what I called Franky’s Ladies In Punching!

Will’s handing in his letter of resignation to Governor Ferguson, she counsels him to wait. She tears it up and tells him to come back in two days after he’s had time to think. He’s a good officer; she and the women need him.

She’s already got Fletcher on the ropes, of course she wants to keep the malleable ones, right? Interesting that she actually broke into Fletcher’s house to steal the journal, though. That’s going the extra mile that sets our Governor apart.

Boomer continues her worst week ever, falling on the floor after Simmo pulls her chair out in the lunchroom. Bea asks why Simmo keeps doing that and I mean this in the best possible way; I know prison violence is expected and blah blah blah, but Boomer JUST beat the shit out of Simmo and almost kneecapped her. I’d maybe pull a chair out too, if I didn’t love Boomer. But I do, I do love Boomer and I hate to see how wrecked she is right now.

Bea’s still floating that Carly shite at Simmo, nobody’s buying, Bea. It ends in a “my daughter is smarter than your (DEAD!) daughter” detente and Bea’s out.

Boomer phone-blocks Simmo, who was affected by Bea’s needling, there will be another showdown between those two soon, I’d bet four cigarettes and a mostly new gossip magazine.

Franky’s getting a letter to Nash for Dory in exchange for makeup, everyone starts looking for Boomer, who isn’t at her work detail. Damnit, Sky heard about Boomer’s back and now Simmo knows as well as Franky. A Lockdown is called as Sky rats on Simmo yelling that she’d get Boomer too, you can’t say ANYTHING near that skinny snake!

Everyone’s all concerned about Boomer NOW, not when she was hurt and hurting and trying to talk to everyone. Pfft

Boomer’s okay, right???

Boomer’s totally okay, right??

Vera stops Fletcher in the hallway; why did he break into Will’s house? Wait, he DIDN’T break into Will’s house? Did FERGUSON break into both houses? Nah, that’s insane. Ferguson comes along then and sends Fletcher down to the gate room, where Will was sent, what is she playing at?

Laundry room dramz continues; Bea heard Sky say Simmo was trying to call Spitz (John Brumpton – Spitz is not a name, it is a snack adored by my hubs) and she apologizes for winding Simmo up about Carly. She continues to wind Simmo up, though, so I wouldn’t take that “I’m sorry” just yet, Simmo.

The makeup Franky got was for Maxine, she takes care of her crew. Maxine is my new best friend when she says if that was true, Franky would be worried about Boomer right then, not looking out for herself. Plus, metallics aren’t her colours, fanks.

It’s time for Fletcher and Will to have it out; they’re both hopped up on paranoia, with Will’s tires being slashed, his house broken into and Fletcher’s journal misplaced. It comes to blows over the baby Meg aborted, of course, and Ferguson sent them down there together on purpose but could she have really set those two up with everything else?

Ahhhhhh and CO Miles sets the hook all the way deep in Simmo’s belly, she says she saw Carly all over Brayden Holt in the parking lot and if Bea keeps spending that house money that fast, she won’t make the whole 12 years in here. A little eye contact between Bea and Miles later confirms my suspicion that Miles was paid to pass on that bit of (probably false) information.

Vera and Ferguson find Will beating the ever-loving shit out of Fletcher, who’s stopped resisting and moved on to goading Will on periodically.

Ferguson turns the screws further with Fletcher; he has an attitude problem and she’d like his resignation now, please. He pushes back, it’s he with the face full of bruises, how will that look to Channing and the board?

Will’s still trying to quit, Ferguson’s still not letting him, that is so WEIRD! She’s giving him another chance and I understand that Fletcher was in the running for her job and therefore maybe a threat, but why keep volatile Will?

Boomer’s been found in the dumbwaiter that wasn’t working, yay! She’s in trying to explain to the Governor but Ferguson makes her move. She offers Boomer a deal and I think Ferguson moved too soon. Boomer is nothing if not loyal, no matter how disloyal Franky is.

Oh stop it, you know Franky is only out for Franky! I love her anyway, I’m just saying: Franky’s number one, two and three concerns are Franky cubed.

Boomer and Franky get a sweet moment as Boom’s being led to the Slot; I hope some fences are mended. She knows Boomer locked herself in that dumbwaiter.

Simmo marches into Bea’s cell; she’ll get Bea a name of someone who can take care of Brayden. Then it’s up to her what happens.

Spitz is back to see Simmo, he has that name she’s asked for. And he doesn’t know if Carly is seeing Brayden, she’s a teenager, who cares? Oh and Simmo has been directed to take out Bea, which she should have expected. Couldn’t be easier for Simmo, access-wise, but she looks flummoxed.

Fletcher scream-cries naked in his shower while the women in the Slot just scream and Boomer rests her back. Simmo walks back to her room in a daze while Bea puts the finishing touches on a sketch of her.

We’re oot, ladies, keep your friends close and your correctional officers closer, until next time!