Below Deck Down Under S1:E11 Benny and the Jet Skis Recap

So the crew of Thalassa made the mistake of taking a day off, leaving their compulsively clean Captain on board by himself to find everywhere they've NOT been taking out the trash, is anyone in actual trouble here? Let's find out in my recap of Below Deck Down Under S1:E11 Benny and the Jet Skis after the break!

We left Captain Jason Chambers pulling maggot-covered bags out of the keep(?hold?) at the, erm, front of the ship, he's super mad at the deck crew already and they're not even there!

We've got three people currently in danger of losing their jobs, the safest of which is listed in the episode title: Ben (Benny) Crawley. He's a deckhand not exactly pulling his weight, but at least he's super mouthy to bosun Jamie Sayed as well.

It looks like once Captain Jason starts to pay attention, whomever he's watching is on thin ice. Like chef Ryan McKeown who can't seem to temper his bad attitude and lazy food. Or third steward Magda Ziomek who has been saving all her time and attention for texting with her adorable Polish boyfriend instead of working or listening or paying attention or.

Captain Jason started clocking Magda because he's been doing more laundry than she has; the fact that her phone data usage is ten times the amount of every other crew member really drew the target on her forehead.

Of course these two reprobates have teamed up to take someone else down, Ryan and Magda have decided to talk shite about chief steward Aesha Scott but he made the mistake of complaining to second steward Tumi Mhlongo who went right to Aesha.

We left last episode with Ryan screaming at Tumi in the hot tub for being fake, my favourite part was him saying he was passing her fake information and she repeated it just like he knew she would!

I like that he had the forethought to shittalk Aesha to Magda for hours before that, just to make sure he was really convincingly an arsehole to Tumi.

I love Aesha, Ryan and Magda can pound sand.

I take that back, by favourite part is Tumi telling Ryan to suck her d***, bye.

Things ease up when both Ryan and Aesha fall asleep in their own rooms and deckhands Culver Bradbury and Brittini Burton get their flirt on in the hot tub. I am completely creeped out by Tumi saying "I can't wait for her vagina to feel so good" but I can't tell what she's drinking. Is that white wine? That can't be just wine talk.

The crew keep demanding they 'Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!', literally pushing their heads together but Culver resists. I think Brittini is down but she's much much drunker than Culver and he keeps gently dissuading her.

I think maybe he respects her? And actually liker her? He says she's like a Greek goddess but they have to work together so maybe he's the most mature person there, aside from Aesha.

It's going to be a rough morning.

Captain Jason hates it when there's a mess left behind, so Culver gets up and starts cleaning right away. Captain Jason wakes everyone else up at 7:30 am, even though Jamie told everyone 9:30.

Captain Jason starts by freaking out about the leftover garbage left below deck, it's on Jamie if he doesn't manage his crew better. What's interesting is that was Culver's mistake and he doesn't own up to it. He seems like the kind of guy who would, so maybe he doesn't know?

This means Jamie will be taking the discipline for this lack of work, which is surprisingly a verbal warning. That means he's only one step away from a written warning and one step closer to being fired. Culver has put Jamie in that position. Interesting that Jamie doesn't want to talk about Culver and would rather insist that Benny should be gone.

I mean, he's not wrong.

We're ready for the new Preference Sheet Meeting, though! Aesha, Jamie and Ryan are called to the crew mess to find out who's coming on board next, who is it??!! We've got Primary Carlton Dickerson and Co-Primary Charter Guest Melina Musumeci!

Oh I LOVE when they show us the whole preference sheet and I have to ask: who writes these???? We've got Jason Heaney (former acrobat) and his wife Cheryl Heaney (who expects a 7-star experience), Venetia (luxury traveler? Is that like influencer with a trust fund?), Peter (in insurance) and Richard (hotel venue manager).

They want a Christmas cruise and Aesha is SO DOWN. SO DOWN.

First she has to have that uncomfortable talk with Magda about all that shite she's been talking. Magda blames her negative energy on her previous boat where she was competing with another model. Nobody is modeling on this job, you're 100% hospitality so how is that even factoring into anything?

Aesha does not talk to Ryan.

And then she does, so let me shut up. He insists he said he cared about her too, blah blah, he's just shite at communication and so manipulative. Aesha asks him to please talk to her if he has a problem with her because she never wants her work ethic questioned. Fair? Fair.

Jamie takes steps to rectify the Benny problem (if not the Culver problem, if that IS even a real problem), switching Benny off nights for Brittini. Benny cannot work unsupervised, he's like Magda that way. He doesn't do anything at night except exercise his personality with the guests so everyone else has to work harder. Jamie is starting to understand how he's going to have to handle Benny.

It's bad management to tell Brittini that's why he's putting her on nights, though.

Holy cow, this morning just flew by and the guests are almost here! Thirty seconds later they are and my impressions:

- Primary Carlton Dickerson looks like a grown-up Carlton, with a banging haircut and a charming salmon linen blazer.

- I'm surprised to see Jason Heaney looks like a regular bloke, I really thought a former acrobat would look more...bendy.

- Primary Melina Musumeci looks like a normal person too, I wonder what account executive means? By that I mean she has a precise haircut and the air of bring in charge with her husky voice.

- Venetia is our attention-seeker, there's always at least one in the group. She looks like Portia DeRossi with great hair.

Melina asked to be surprised, she's not the least bit impressed by Ryan's oysters in natural brine with lemon as a snack.

This is really the wrong chef to have on board if you want a great culinary experience. Captain Jason has been begging his recruiter for a replacement for ages now, Ryan won't even know what hit him the door will spin around him so fast.

Aesha has to relay the feedback to Ryan, we all hold our breath until he says 'cool'.

Captain Jason has a super cool plan where the guests get dropped off to snorkel with manta rays then scooped up to anchor somewhere else amazing!

I hate snorkeling and I'm afraid of the ocean but there is no way you can watch this show and not want to be exactly there. It's so gorgeous!

Lunch goes better than snacks did, Primary Carlton enjoys the chilli mud crab so much that he teaches us a Southern expression for yummy: 'you put your foot in it!" Over and over he says this while eating a whole crab and Magda talks about how hot he is.

Tumi shuts that down immediately, not hot not ever nope.

I think he's adorable!

I'm now concerned about the swimming with manta rays. Captain Jason has ordered all engines off, so he and the boat will be drifting on the current while the guests jump off the tender trailing behind the superyacht. They'll have to swim against said current to get back on the boat, Culver and I are seriously worried. The guests: not so much. Primary Melina says they know how to swim in Australia!

Guest Peter goes towards the rocks instead of at the 'bommie' Jamie pointed out, he calls for help over and over as Culver tries to figure out what he's saying. Jamie doesn't waste time, jumping into the water with a life jacket.

Peter got a leg cramp, he's very happy to see Jamie dragging him back to safety on the boat. Messing around in the East Australian Current without a life jacket is no joke.

Oh. Ryan is making baby kangaroo for supper.

*barf*

Benny is sent to round up the tender, he asks Captain Jason if he can grab his phone first. Captain Jason asks if he's going to check his Facebook, but nope, actually he's going to take videos from the tender instead of driving the tender. He's clocked on the deck of the tender, nowhere near the steering with the boat at full speed.

But tell me again how CULVER is the problem, Benny?

Jamie tells Benny to make sure he's always steering while driving the tender; Benny whines to us about needing positive reinforcement. He says "Jamie's just consistently not allowing me to look good."

I mean.

He takes no responsibility for any mistakes he makes then whines about not looking good. Even when confronted with the evidence, he straight up lies and says mistakes aren't him. What can you do with someone like that? Jamie has no idea.

Self-appointed entertainment coordinator Culver has one of his mullet wigs on, he's Crocodile Duncee!

Faking an Aussie accent to a bunch of Aussies is bold, I'll give him that!

The guests ate the baby kangaroo. Apparently it was very *tender*.

All day, Benny has been encouraging the guests to try night fishing, now that he's not going to be watching them. He's doing this in front of Brittini, who will have to monitor the night fishing while actually doing the chores Benny completely forgoes when he's on nights. It's totally a dick move, 100%, Brittini takes Jamie aside to tell him what a tool Benny is being.

This is why Jamie should not have told her he was taking Benny off nights because he couldn't be trusted. Now Britiini might think she's Jamie's equal, work-wise, and that they have a shared common interest in Benny smartening up.

Or! She might be angry because Benny has no idea why he's been put on mid-days instead of night shift and it's making Brittini mad that he's trying to make her job that much harder without understanding that he's being disciplined. She asks Jamie to talk to Benny about the shift change, he tells her she should do that.

What.

She should do your job?

Brittini and I do not understand.

It's a chill night for everyone, Tumi and Brittini are on late shift and finish up by 1 am. It's been a good day for everyone, Captain Jason thanks Ryan for the great food and Aesha thanks Magda for her excellent work. Wooooo!

The next day is completely different, yet another safety issue with Benny and the Jet Skis has Jamie seeing red. He storms off to see Captain Jason, he wants Benny gone, now. That's where we leave it for tonight, see you next time!