Below Deck Mediterranean S7:E06 Walkie of Shame Recap

We’re back and still sad/mad on Below Deck Mediterranean where we’re down a bosun, up a provisional lead and short one toxic couple. Let’s find out how things shake out after the break in my recap of Below Deck Mediterranean S7:E06 Walkie of Shame.

Chief steward Natasha Webb and chef David White have gone from secret love to a toxic meltdown; he’s been ordered to move out of their shared cabin so maybe we don’t lose a chef OR chief steward already after we just dropped off former bosun Raygan Tyler at the dock.

I couldn’t understand why Raygan fared so poorly but it must have been a matter of inexperience on such a large boat. We saw a picture of her in a super cute sailor outfit a bunch of times so she must have been doing quite well on smaller boats but on motor yacht Home she could not figure it out.

Back to Dave and Tasha; she asked him to keep their relationship a secret because she was technically in a completely different relationship when she started hooking up with Dave. Dave used that to try and force her to be with him with disastrous results, Captain Sandy Yawn almost kicked him off the ship.

Second steward Kyle Viljoen is switching with Dave so he will be in with Natasha, I don’t know what to think about Kyle. He complains that he doesn’t have a choice about moving but he’s been her biggest support so where does that come from?

Okay! We’re 18 hours out from our next charter, time to focus on rich people with tiny palates! Captain Sandy calls provisional bosun Storm Smith to the crew mess along with Natasha and Dave for a Preference Sheet meeting, wooooooo! I love these!! Show us names and ridiculous requests written in purple prose, Bravo!

Who’s coming on board? Kristina Rossetto is our next Primary Charter Guest, she’s sharing her fiftieth birthday party with her cousin Dina Rossetto (I think, I couldn’t see the name boooooo) and they want their birthday cake delivered by a shirtless deckhand!

I *love* how Captain Sandy perked up delivering that line, hahahaha.

Storm nominates his childhood friend Mzi ‘Zee’ Dempers for that task, wooooo! I love Mzi, I don’t need to see him naked but I guess we’re not talking about MY needs here.

Captain Sandy watches how Dave and Natasha interact, she’s seeing their professionalism and hopes this can work out. Later, back in her bunk, Natasha texts her ex-boyfriend, the one she cheated on, for a chat.

Dave moves in with deckhand Jason Gaskell, with whom he tried his best to pick a fight with one night out. Dave thought Jason had been flirting with Natasha and. Let’s just say David has a lot of anxiety and it comes out as aggression when he is self-medicating by the barrel.

We have another deckhand joining and apparently we know her! Mzi knows her for sure given the promo but it can’t be Courtney Veale, can it? From last season? She was a steward! But I did love those two together, even as pals who occasionally gave each other lap dances while shitfaced.

It IS Courtney!! She’s a deckhand now?? She is! She’s back and ‘ready to get to twerk!’

You remember Courtney:

And how Mzi felt about her.

Yeahhhhh awwwww! She’s back and blonder than ever! Mzi is super happy to see her, let’s see how they work together!

He lights up like a Christmas tree at the sight of her, telling us she came and visited him in Cape Town, South Africa. But they’re just friends and he is totally cool with that even if he can’t tell us he has no lingering feelings for her without laughing awkwardly for a solid minute.

Courtney meets everyone and heads out on deck for a quick Storm-led meeting then all of a sudden provisions are here! Already!

Captain Sandy is worried about the water, there are huge swells around the corner so she’s not going to be able to leave the dock right away. Charter guests haaaaate staying at dock and unfortunately, you can’t see any indicators of what she’s talking about. It looks perfectly and beautifully calm.

Guest arrival goes well, a bunch of beautiful women in their early fifties with money wooooo! Boat toooouuurrrrr.

There are two groups of sisters on the boat and one set of cousins, this is fantastic! Not one of them is happy to hear they’re not leaving the dock, though.

This means the Interior team will be working their bums off to entertain the guests, what about an excursion in town? Yasss!

First lunch and filthy martinis, served solely by Kyle while Natasha texts her boyfriend over and over.

After lunch, a guide shows up to take our ladies around Malta in golf carts driven by deckhands and we are reminded how excellent Mzi is at golf. He’s been playing since he was 7 and he’s very, very good.

You know who else is great? Storm! As a bosun! He’s got a terrific schedule set for his team and he’s directed his crew to help as much as possible. Foreshadowing about the de-docking the following morning, we’ve seen in promos that Storm perhaps does not communicate properly and Captain Sandy hits the second thing in her career. The first was the dolphin from two episodes ago that got Raygan sacked.

Aw man, I feel so bad for Natasha, she’s confessed all to her ex-boyfriend who has forgiven her and wants her back. She’s feeling super hella guilty and says she loves him too, girl. There was a reason you cheated on that guy. Your needs weren’t being met, you already said he cheated on you first, this is not good for anyone, is it?

It’s just guilt, sweetie, it will eventually pass.

Wow, how have I not mentioned second steward Natalya Scudder yet?? She’s been all over this charter, currently clothed in a short pink sequinned dress for Casino/birthday party night. Storm likes it!

I like them together as a couple, I hope everything goes smoothly unlikeDavidandNatashabecauseImeancomeon.

Natasha loves her boyfriend and is going back to him. Yay.

Our first clashing in the Interior team, Natalya is pissed she’s being put on housekeeping instead of service because Courtney will be helping and she doesn’t know the boat well enough to do that. To be fair, Natalya was going to be on housekeeping anyway, that just switched because Kyle has a sore tooth.

Natalya spent hours setting up the decorating for this party, she’s extremely unhappy with Natasha’s decision.

Natalya angrily removes the sequinned dress she’s been rocking all day during the literal hours of decorating she’s been doing.

For her part, Courtney is dismayed that her first night on board as a deckhand has her in a sparkly pink dress serving still or sparkling water.

The deckhands get ready for dessert, Dave is shredded, yes? He serves the cake then it’s time for Mzi and Storm to rock the casbah with no shirts, a firefighter costume and a…James Brown outfit? What’s with the wig and vest??

The guests are adorably hammered, they head to the hot tub for some jaboozin until 2 am.

I am so NERVOUS about this de-docking! Captain Sandy is ready first thing and so is Storm but we know where will be a radio malfunction and Storm will end up demoted and there will be no more happy Storm or happy Captain Sandy and I’m so sad.

And nervous!

They hit.

We’re out.

I can’t tell if Storm is still there the next episode!! He better be!! Until next time, everyone, cheers. Boooooo.