Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3:E05 Loose Lips Sink Ships Recap

Welcome back to Hot Tub Time Machine, okay, really Below Deck Sailing Yacht but I bet chief steward Daisy Kelliher is gonna wish she was in the former! Rolling into my recap of BDSY S3:E05 Loose Lips Sink Ships after the break!

We left our gang of intrepid yachties split into couples and making out hard; chief steward Daisy Kelliher and first mate Gary King were getting so passionate in the hot tub that they scared everyone else away, including third steward Ashley Marti and deckhand Tom Pearson. Okay, technically they left first and went and had sex in the master cabin but still. Gary and Daisy have been enjoying a bit of a truce in their formerly tense relationship; apparently Ashley has eased her age restrictions for random sex and that tension with Tom has now been resolved as well.

I guess it's true what they say: all tension is sexual tension!

(If you can name the movie that came from; you and I will be best friends forever and write each other encouraging emails on Tuesdays and alternating Wednesdays)

I can't believe Ashley and Tom had sex that fast with zero build-up and I hope lots of contraceptive devices stashed somewhere unlikely in their swimsuits.

Ashley had been after Gary since the start of the season; he made out with her a few times but wasn't really into her and she could tell. She had this very strict age range she would date within; you know, she can do whatever she likes with whatever consenting adult she likes, it just seems bizarre to put such emphasis on age when maturity is a much better indicator.

Daisy is super hungover and does NOT want to hear tales of her drunken makeouts with Gary, THANKS Colin MacRae! She's got a boat to turn over but the grinning deck boys in the crew mess means she has to walk a gauntlet of shame first.

It's hilarious, Gary doesn't have any shame so he's just happy to talk about all the passionate kissing. I liked the part where you could tell it went from kind of joking to not joking at all, but nobody asked me! Daisy holds her head and moans while the guys give her all the gears, but all in good fun.

The problem is that Gary is a huge slut. Daisy is not that person.

The rest of the crew set about getting the Parsifal III ready for the next charter; deckhand Kelsie Golgia is shocked to hear about the banging, did she kiss anyone? No, and to be honest, we kind of forgot she was there, didn't we? Our bad.

Captain Glenn Shephard calls Daisy, Gary and chef Marcos Spaziani to the crew mess for a pre-charter meeting, who's coming on board?? James Cox Jr. is our Primary, he's another real estate guy. He wants to sail and eat, so this charter will be on Marcos and Captain Glenn. Joining James Jr. are his sister Kimber and nephew Hayden Weaver which is 100% a richkid name. We've got a Bunny, a James Cox Sr. and a Tyler Cox so Cox abound on Below Deck Sailing Yacht.

They want something a little different; they want a 007 party, that's kind of neat! Marcos has been charged with creating a Spanish feast, he's on it!

Second steward Gabriela Barragan is frustrated with Ashley's work again, there are inconsistently facing hospital corners and that is NOT OKAY.

I think Gabriela can sometimes be wound a little tight.

Tom gets a bad phone call from home, his best friend's dad collapsed and is in the hospital on life support. That is the toughest part of yachting, I bet, always being away from those you love and not being able to be there at critical times. I still get a little teary when I think of Courtney Veale worrying about not being home when her dad entered the forgetting people stage. Ashley kind of comforts Tom.

Ashley complains to Daisy again about Gabriela; Ashley doesn't think Gabriela should be able to tell her what to do but Daisy confirms: the second stew absolutely is supposed to delegate to the third steward. Part of the problem is that Ashley feels she is equal to Gabriela and should be basically another second steward and the other part of the problem is that she isn't. Could you see Ashley writing up a list of what needs to be done and delegating? No.

It's almost guest arrival time, has everyone washed the clean boat yet?? Are all the hospital corners facing the right way?? They'd better be, guest are here! Primary James Jr. and gang all look very typically Manhattan real estate, beautiful and tastefully attired in their yachting best.

Not any of those things are Kelsie flossing her teeth with her own hair.

Daisy leads the charter group on a boat tour, woooo! Turns out Bunny is a cougar and I love and hate that sentence at the same time. Primary James makes the first move for Bunny; asking Colin if he likes cougars..they run fast and they're old....

More back and forth between Gabriela and Ashley; Daisy is being far too passive a manager here. These women are not going to resolve this themselves. She's going to need to step in and hard. I feel like Gabriela could handle that, she likes structure and (maybe slightly bendy) rules but I don't think Ashley could. She's like a walking wound.

Marcos gets to hear everything; he's just glad he's not in charge. He does have to murder a few lobsters for bisque; one goes down fighting.

I am sad.

So is Tom, so Ashley works a little bit to check on him. They're in a weird space where they aren't dating and don't know each other well, but have just banged so have some type of connection but not really.

Daisy is doing this weird thing where she's alternating shifts with her stews and now even service. I would find that difficult, I bet Gabriela does too. She's doing cabins tonight instead of service, then service tomorrow night.

Daisy also comes up with a plan for Bunny's birthday involving the male members of the deck crew delivering Bunny's cake shirtless; I bet she'll like that! Daisy must have clocked Bunny drooling every time a dude walked into frame.

I am also old and have usually ended up dating younger; please don't let me ever get clocked thusly.

Colin asks if Daisy wants to see his body first, he's rocking a dad bod because he's an actual person / working yachtie, not a transplant from the male exotic dancing scene coughAshtoncough.

Captain Glenn dines with the guests for some lovely lobster bisque (sigh) followed by beef tenderloin; the guests are slightly disappointed in the lack of sailing but maybe there will be wind tomorrow. Primary James wants to tip Marcos over.

100 bucks says wine-soaked Primary James goes arse over teakettle before Marcos.

guest Tyler falls hard asleep at the table, his poor neck! He sleeps all the way through Marcos's delivery of James Sr.'s beautiful birthday cake, then it's time for Bunny's piece to be delivered by the Men of Parsifal III.

Bunny is DELIGHTED. I've never seen a happier cougar named Bunny.

I don't like that Daisy calls Bunny desperate below deck; Bunny didn't ask for the show, she just appreciated it. Just like she loudly vocally appreciated a bunch of attractive men. She seems kind of sweet and that's mean, Daisy.

Gary and Daisy keep snogging at random times, they're trouble!

Most of the guests head to the salon to hurl passive-aggressive compliments at Gabriela while Tyler sleeps upstairs at the dinner table. Colin and crew finally get him upright and moving to his room to sleep it off, that was a hard day's drinking right there.

I am trying to like these guests but I am pretty sure they wouldn't care anyway, smug and condescending bastages.

The next morning starts at 8, Ashley is up to fetch apple juice for everyone as Marcos plans to overfeed everyone again. There's a beach picnic this afternoon, we already know that's not going to go well. There's no sailing, that's going to be a problem for the guests.

The beach picnic is going to be Ashley and Kelsie setting up.

Oh no. Oh no no. Gary likes Gabriela?? I mean, I know he's the kind of guy who wants what he can't have but Gabriela is completely out of left field. I also think she may only date women. And why start that with Daisy only to. This is exactly what I was worried about; Gary is a complete ho, Daisy is going to get hurt.

Gary hasn't even flirted or even talked to Gabriela!

Gary tells everything to Captain Glenn, that's not cool, bro.

Literally nothing is ready for the picnic after an hour and a half on the beach; the guests are coming regardless. There is glorious side by side shooting of Ashley and Kelsie messing around endlessly with the tent as we see the guests approach in the tender.

That was gorgeous, Bravo.

Gabriela arrives with the guests to find absolutely nothing done; it's so embarrassing. There is no way this won't affect the tip.

Gabriela mentions a couple of times that Tom was able to set this up by himself, Ashley doesn't appreciate the attitude. I appreciate that Gabriela didn't take her head off. Gary piloted the tender so he's able to help; either Kelsie or Ashley really should have called for help.

I think the sandwiches Marcos prepared for lunch are not going to be positive for the tip either; he decided to focus all his time on the Spanish feast he's putting on tonight.

There's finally enough of a breeze to sail, yay! And it's only 10 knots, so nothing will even fall over, yay! Oh yikes, down to 7 knots, then six, get those sails up boys! Oh no, we're down to 5 knots and there's no wind. What can you do? The sails are up but nothing is happening. Primary James nicely points out that there was more wind during the beach picnic badminton.

Get bent, buddy, they can't MAKE wind. And you wanted that stupid beach picnic!

Sails are down again, anchor is down and we foreshadow that we will never run aground.

Omigod Marcos food looks AMAZING! The Spanish feast starts with octopus and calamari, oysters and PAELLA! Tyler almost passes out at the table again.

Tom is on late shift again, on anchor watch and cleaning. The wind starts to pick up at 5:30 am, which is coincidentally the same time that Ashley gets up and stops by the bridge for a little 'smoochie.'

Alarms start ringing right before 6, this is not how you want to wake up your captain. 31 knots of wind and dragging anchor is a crisis, are they going to run aground?

We'll find out next week, because we are OOT! Enjoy yourself, be back soon, cheers!